St. George at Denbies, Page 2

Chapter 3:2011

  In 2011, the challenge was to create a 50 word saga (50 words exactly) on a theme relating to Saint George and the dragon. The runners up and other entries are listed in alphabetical order following the winner (well done, chap!) and two examples by the performers are given at the end, together with the odd limerick that arrived a year late.

  The mini sagas are reproduced as far as possible as they were written, apart from adjusting the lines where necessary. Artistic integrity has been given precedence over my inclination to tweak, ‘correct’ or adjust punctuation or spelling (ed). Apart from one mini saga that slipped on to the short list even though it didn’t have exactly 50 words, all other entries that failed to meet the one and only rule of this format have been disqualified. Fortunately, this included the ruder entries!

  The winner

  Hopkinson

  Here are 50 words to slay your dragon

  Step on its tail, Gail

  Leave it on the bus, Gus

  Smack it in the head, Fred

  Don’t let it get free.

  Extinguish its flame, James

  And make it a myth, Smith.

  So here it is – 50 words to slay your dragon

  The short list

  Mrs Adams

  George is a lovely name, it looks a bit like gorgeous, and speaking of gorgeous there is George Clooney!

  However I don’t think he has a dragon, but expect he has tamed a few.

  Maybe Boy George saw a few dragons and probably George Best did too!

  I Love George!!!

  Sumeer Aggarwal

  Like all stories, this story is about heroes, princesses and demons.

  But like some stories, over time, who’s the villain and who’s the hero can get confused.

  Is the dragon actually the hero saving the princess from a boring life with St. George?

  History says otherwise but dragons are misunderstood.

  Albert

  St George at a challenge would never bark

  Not even in ancient days, when evil dragons did lark

  A fair damsel in great tribulation and awfully great distress

  He would aid and save and finally totally skillfully undress

  But she had precautions vital.

  Totally equipped by a Saint Michael

  (Later found to only be 49 words long, so unfortunately invalid)

  Stephen Johnson

  St. George and the dragon, the legend and man,

  A story I’ll tell as best as I can,

  Our hero St. George, full armour and sword,

  The kings lovely daughter, which he adored,

  A terrible dragon, (the daughter for lunch)

  St. George pierced his heart and had him for lunch

  Keith Mildon

  St George’s day mistakenly thought to celebrate the birthday of a bloke that never came to England.

  In reality a celebration of a famous pub that sells cheap ale and sausage and mash with gravy.

  The George and Dragon Peckham.

  The landlord is a saint his wife is a dragon.

  Cassandra Stewart-Gillham

  The Legend of St George and the Dragon, retold from the point of view of the dragon:

  “Long ago there lived a poor dragon who suffered terribly from allergies.

  One day, whilst trying not to burn the villagers with his sneezes, he befriended a maiden.

  Unfortunately, his life was tragically cut short when he was maliciously murdered by a young boy named George who sought eternal glory.”

  Other entries

  Fran Adams

  George who!!!

  Not to sure what he did or who he is!

  Is he famous? Not sure is he similar to George Michelle?

  Does he have “faith, faith, faith” too?

  Or famous like George Best? If so why have I not herd of him!!!

  Hears to you! Happy DAY, Gaye.

  Mrs Adams

  George is good

  George is great

  George is grand

  George is gorgeous

  George is generous

  George is gallant

  George is grumpy

  George is groany

  George is growing

  George is grouchy

  George is grim

  George is grimey

  George is glorious

  George is greedy

  George is gay

  George is gracious

  St George!

  Sir John B

  Oh what a bore. Camping again. Julian George loathed the Lavant. The midges. the ghastly latrines, and those pesky dragons. But there was a maiden, she fair turned his head! Oh cripes, a dragon as well. What was one to do? Oi gorgeous, mine’s lizard, she’s saved but I’ve pulled!

  Lynette Cheesman

  Once upon a time, a long time ago, in a far off land. There lived a Princess in a high tower. She saw lots of things from her high tower and because her heart was pure she decided to sacrifice her self for the children. But brave George saved her.

  Lauren Johnson

  The story of St. George is a cool one. He dresses up in an outstanding outfit

  He kills scary things called dragons. He rides around on horses which is fun

  St. George had so much fun, he got all the girls, but never made it to England for more fun

  Anthony Morton

  St George was a Roman officer in the Praetorian Guard. He converted to Christianity and was executed by the Emperor Diocletian for refusing to renounce his faith. During the crusades he appeared to an English army, after which they won the Battle of Acre. He then became England’s Patron Saint.

  Brigitte Morton

  George was a Roman soldier,

  a Christian who died for his faith,

  virtuous, courageous and true,

  he lived in Minor Asia,

  but his fame grew far and wide.

  Inspiring the crusaders,

  Richard the Lionheart brought him home,

  To England’s shores where he soon replaced

  St Edward as the favourite saint.

  Jan Sheader

  St. George was nice guy so he didn’t really want to kill the dragon but like most men he was under the spell of a damsel in distress and as there was a shortage of meat in her village he did her bidding hoping she would agree to marry him

  John T

  Who is this callow youth on a hungry horse?

  He’s got his eye on the gentle maiden who is my mistress and holds me by a silken tether.

  I’ll show my evil side with some heavy breathing. He’s coming at me with a lance.

  My mistress utters his name: George!

  Miles

  Long ago there lived a dragon.

  This dragon terrorized the good peoples of this land.

  The King he decreed that whosoever could rid this land of the dragon would become a Saint to the many lands around the world.

  So a knight called George was the man bros. high five

  Paul Hurst

  Fifty word. FIFTY WORDS! You really expect me to tell you the whole story of St. George and the Dragon in FIFTY WORDS! You must be joking! I mean, come on now, get serious. You’re having a laugh. Oh, Okay, very well then. Distressed damsel, muscular hero, dead dragon. Sorted.

  At Silene, Libya, a plague-bearing dragon eats two sheep daily, then the children. Sabra, the King’s daughter, is chosen by lottery. St George, arriving by chance, wounds the dragon. With Sabra’s girdle he placates the beast, then forces fifteen thousand inhabitants to convert, before slaying dragon with his sword, Ascalon.

  And a couple of Haiku

  A maid in distress

  Enter St. George, our hero

  A Lizard kebabbed

  A warning to maids

  When facing a big dragon

  Best bring a spare saint

  Chapter 4: 2011 Limericks

  J.Britten

  George, the trusty knight,

 
First, had a dragon to fight

  Before to his lair

  Could he take maiden fair

  His etchings to show her all night

  Simon Edmands

  St. George once a dragon he slayed

  As a gesture to an honourable maid

  But she’s turned out so frigid

  ‘twas her mum got him rigid,

  Still at least the old bugger get laid!

  Chapter 5: 2010 – From our archives

  The competition in 2010 was to come up with a Limerick relating to St. George and the Dragon. Unfortunately, the entries were not saved, but here are a few we wrote as examples, together with one of our other little efforts for the evening.

  2010 Limericks

  St George was a hero of old

  A knight who was brave, strong and bold

  He fought with a dragon

  And soon fixed its wagon

  At least in the story we’re told

  St George was a champion, I’ve heard

  Whose actions leave everyone stirred

  When a dragon for lunch

  Planned a maiden to munch

  He killed it – and so got the bird.

  If a dragon you wanted to slay

  Then St George is your man, so they say

  He’ll chop it up neat

  From its snout to its feet

  Before he would call it a day

  A maiden, once chained to a pillar

  Saw a dragon who was fixing to kill her

  She screamed until sick

  St George turned up quick

  And the dragon quite quickly got ill-er

  A maiden, a dragon and knight

  Were involved in a bit of a fight

  That is, the dragon and knight did

  But the maiden, being bright, hid

  And it all seemed to come out alright

  If we’re going to be perfectly frank

  The actions of Saint George must rank

  As absolute folly -

  Oi, George, you great wally,

  Fight a dragon? You absolute crank!

  You may think St. George had a reason

  And killing the dragon hardly treason

  But it’s really quite sad

  He was a rotter, a cad

  For the dragon was quite out of season!

  If a dragon you want to make dead

  You must be a bit thick in the head

  If you take a sword and tin hat

  You’re a bit of a prat

  Bring a bazooka instead!

  St George, the modern version

  Paul Hurst

  Imagine the setting, the time’s long ago

  St George, our hero, gets ready to go.

  His task it is simple, a maiden to save

  The dragon to vanquish, and send to its grave.

  His broadsword lies ready, and helmet and lance

  Plus a longbow and quiver – he’s taking no chance

  Asbestos long-johns, his limbs they attire

  For when dealing with dragons, watch out for the fire

  Our hero is ready, and in full armour dressed,

  A call to his dogs to join in the quest

  With yelping and barking they answer his shout

  And soon hounds and hero all boldly set out

  The journey is long, and though ‘tis hard

  Anon they arrive at the lair of this lizard

  The dragon is slaughtered, hurrah and hooray!

  A maiden set free – St George wins the day

  But now, dear friends, how would things unfold now?

  Would our damsel be rescued, or turned into chow?

  In our Brave New World would this tale be as great?

  Let’s follow our fellow and find out his fate

  He starts, as before, with a trusty big sword

  But who’s this approaching with pen and clipboard?

  An inspector, his tape measure holding

  Chanting the mantra “Three inches and folding”

  The sword is a no-no, so now he must battle

  With that old army penknife he won in a raffle

  And the long-johns are out; he must stick to a vest

  For another inspector is sure he knows what’s best

  So armed with his penknife, the journey can start

  With a trip to the kennels before they depart

  “Come my brave boarhounds, to the rescue we’ll go”

  An inspector appears …“Oh deary me no!”,

  That’s hunting with hounds, they must stay in their dog’s berth

  I can’t let them out, it’s more than my job’s worth

  George pleads and he argues, but it’s like hitting a wall

  “You’ll go on your own, or you won’t go at all”

  With road works and potholes the journey’s not pleasant

  And blocked off lanes, yet no workers present

  But our hero’s a Brit, and thinks ‘mustn’t grumble’

  ‘til he arrives at the cave, ready to rumble

  Is he free to continue? Is he free – ‘like as hell’!

  For yet one more inspector arrives for to tell

  ‘That creature’s endangered, you must cease and desist

  It’s just now been put on the R.S.P.D. list’

  So the maiden gets munched with George chomped just after

  Not a tale told of heroes, but one of disaster

  And we all soldier on, with the occasional mumble

  Through stiff upper lip – ‘mustn’t grumble…’

  I do hope you have enjoyed this ebook. If you would like to know more about Denbies Wine estate, please go to https://www.denbies.co.uk ,

  For more about the performers go to https://www.Medieval-Jesters.com

 

  And for a free ebook on how to create ebooks, click here:

  ###