Little by Little, Page 3

Dear Diary,

  Today after school, while I was waiting for Dad to come pick me up, Mark came up to me!

  I could actually feel my heart drop into my stomach and swirl inside. It took all I had to not show that I was affected by him. Pretending to be cool, I ignored him completely at first but I couldn’t anymore when he came to stand before me and waved his hands at me, asking me to come back to this planet.

  Kind of juvenile of him, but also kind of cute. I asked him what he wanted and he asked me in turn if it was true what everyone was saying about me.

  I wanted to run from there and cry or scream at someone. I wondered what lies Shelly was spreading about me now.

  Instead, Mark asks me if Shelly and I were best friends.

  I was a bit relieved and told him that we USED to be. He asked me why and I told him to ask his girlfriend why.

  Before he could ask any questions, Dad arrived and I ran to the car and then asked him to drive away as fast as he could. Dad as usual made some lame jokes about there being a fire somewhere and to my horror rolled down the window and talked to Mark.

  Seeing him with me, Dad obviously must have assumed we were friends. Things just got worse from there.

  Turns out Mark’s dad and my dad work together. Dad offered Mark a ride home and he agreed. Really? Couldn’t he just give a polite no and walk away from my life forever?

  Suffice to say that was one awkward ride home. Dad kept on talking about stuff, while I looked out the window wishing I could disappear or turn invisible.

  Then when things couldn’t get any worse, Dad says that he had invited Mark’s family for dinner tomorrow night. I died then and there.

  Mark thanked Dad for the invite and for the ride when we reached his home. He said goodbye to me and I murmured in return. I didn’t want Dad to think I was rude and there was no way I was going to tell him why I didn’t want to be around him.

  As for tomorrow night, I had to find an excuse to get the hell away from home so I wouldn’t have to face Mark.

  What if he brought Shelly with him?

  Dear Diary,

  I spent the whole day trying to convince my parents that I couldn’t have dinner with them. I told them I needed to get some homework done- they replied that it was the start of the weekend and I could use a break.

  Umm…my parents don’t want me to do homework? Seriously?

  Then I pretended to have a severe headache in the morning and Dad handed me a bottle of aspirin. Obviously I wasn’t going to take the pills! I mumbled something about how it was subsiding and just walked away from there.

  I went to Mom and told her I had to go to the library since I didn’t have a laptop. She said I could use Dad’s laptop.

  I’m running out of excuses here!!!

  Dear Diary

  Dinner was super awkward. Mark came with his parents and immediately they all started chatting as if they knew each other for ages. Mark stayed mostly with his father and my Dad and I pretended to help out in the kitchen.

  My plan was to stay the hell away from Mark, unfortunately, Mom makes me sit right next to him on the table. He said a brief hello and started talking about some homework assignment. I was only half-listening because I started to think about how attractive he looked.

  He was wearing a blue shirt and black jeans. Blue really brings out his soft brown eyes. He had combed his hair neatly, unlike the spiky gel thing he would do for school. Nina chattering on Mark’s other side, finally broke the spell and I kind of felt ashamed of what I was thinking.

  I mean, he’s someone else’s boyfriend and it didn’t seem right to still have such a crush on him.

  Anyways, I was so glad Nina was there. Annoying sisters can be pretty useful when you’re trying to avoid someone. She kept asking Mark ridiculous questions about what subject he liked and what his favorite show was. She was disappointed he didn’t name her favorite cartoon, but Mark cracked some joke and she was laughing.

  Again, I was only half listening. I kept wondering what it would have been like to have him as my boyfriend. Then Nina made a comment about how I was such a nerd nowadays and I felt my face burn up.

  Did she have to be such a brat in front of Mark?

  The reason I was burying my nose in books was because I didn’t have any friends in school. Not actually reading the text was a whole other thing. I just find it handy to open a book and stare at it to avoid awkward conversations and to make people think that the reason I’m not hanging out with friends is because I’m too busy.

  Mark didn’t need to know how pathetic I was.

  By the time Mom served dessert, Nina had pulled Mark to the other side of the room and ate his head about her favorite shows. She even made him watch a cartoon with her. I was just glad that I didn’t have to sit with him anymore.

  When Mom asked me to join my sister, I made some excuses about my headache returning, said a polite good night to everyone and pretty much ran upstairs.

  Here I am, lying on my bed, just in case anyone walks up. Hopefully no one will and I wouldn’t have to feel so weird anymore.

  I just can’t explain to my family why I am so weird around Mark.

  Dear Diary

  It’s morning and now I do have a headache. I shouldn’t have stressed out so much about Mark yesterday. They left soon after dessert and Nina barged into the room and talked incessantly about the new friend she had made.

  Great! That’s exactly what I need- to hear his name over and over.

  Off to ask Dad for that aspirin.

  Dear Diary

  Today Shelly cornered me in the cafeteria. Her army of minions stood around me and laughed while Shelly threw one insult after another. Apparently she was pissed that Mark came to my house.

  The whole school was looking at me. Except for Mark. He hadn’t come in today.

  I wanted to cry, but I knew Shelly would have liked that, so I did whatever I could to stay strong even as she accused me of being a boyfriend-stealer. She accused me of using my family to get Mark and how I would never get him because I was an ugly bitch.

  I know the other students felt sorry for me, but none of them came to my rescue. I was all alone, trying hard not to cry as my once- best-friend said the worst things possible to me. Eventually when I couldn’t take it anymore and knew I was going to breakdown into tears any second, I walked away from there.

  Today was not such a great day.

  Dear Diary

  Mark didn’t come in again. I was once again sitting in the History class all alone while my classmates were whispering about the “showdown” yesterday. I overheard some girls saying that Shelly was too harsh while one of the guys said I was probably trying to steal her boyfriend.

  If only they knew the whole story.

  I keep wondering what Mark would make of all this. I mean, when he came to my house, he was kind of sweet to Nina. He seemed like such a decent guy. But then, why would he choose Shelly to be his girlfriend?

  And once he finds out what Shelly did to me, would he take my side? I mean…

  You know what, no. He’s Shelly’s boyfriend. Once he hears how she picked on me during lunch, he would take her side.

  I’m such an idiot to think otherwise.

  Dear Diary

  Still haven’t seen Mark. He’s been absent this whole week. I wonder if he’s okay? Shelly has been gossiping about me and saying things from afar. I am ignoring her so far, but I have my limits.

  Everyone was looking at me when we passed each other down the corridor and I heard some of my classmates laugh at something Shelly said. I just couldn’t take it anymore and instead of heading for my English class, I went into the bathroom and hid there until the lesson was over.

  The last thing I wanted was to share the same classroom as Shelly and her idiotic minions. I’m so angry, yet I can’t come up with a clever retort. All I feel like is crying whenever she says something mean to me.

  Someday, I’ll find the strength
to confront her. Someday, everyone will see Shelly for who she is.

  Dear Diary

  Just heard some terrible news. Mark and his parents were in an accident after they left our house. How did we not know this sooner?

  He’s been in the hospital this whole time! Dad said they didn’t suffer any serious injuries but Mark had fractured his leg. This is so awful.

  Did Shelly know? Why didn’t she bring it up? Why didn’t she tell me?

  I know we’re not friends anymore but she knew how I felt about him. I’m going out of my mind here!

  Dear Diary

  Mom and Dad were going off to see Mark and his parents. I’m going with them. Just hope Shelly isn’t there or she won’t let me see him.

  Dear Diary

  I can’t tell you how relieved I am. Mark had a few bruises and his leg is in a cast, but the doctors say that it will come off in a month.

  Shelly wasn’t there and that was a relief. While my parents talked to Mark’s parents, I sat by his side and we talked. He tried to seem his usual friendly self, but I knew he was in pain. Nina came over to him and gave him a flower made of colorful paper that she had made in art class.

  He joked around with her and said that since he would have to stay in bed, he would love to watch the shows she had recommended. Nina actually squealed and the nurse walked over to ask us to stay quiet.

  I thought we were going to be thrown out of the ward. Yeesh, little sisters!

  Before we left, Nina asked if she could sign his cast and Mark agreed. Once Nina scrawled a dopey looing smiley face and wrote her