Five Years From Now

  praise for

  paige toon

  ‘You’ll love it, cry buckets and be uplifted’

  MARIAN KEYES

  ‘Paige really ratchets up the tension. You’ll be in a reading frenzy by the end’

  LISA JEWELL

  ‘Poignant and lovely, warm and wise’

  MILLY JOHNSON

  ‘Gave me all the feels . . . I loved it’

  LINDSEY KELK

  ‘Paige’s writing is brilliant!’

  MHAIRI McFARLANE

  ‘A beautifully written heart-wrenching journey of love and loss’

  OK!

  ‘Witty, fun and impossible to put down!’

  CLOSER

  ‘Fun, summery chick-lit with bite’

  COSMOPOLITAN

  ‘For smart romantic fiction look no further than the new book from bestselling Paige Toon’

  RED

  Everyone loves Paige Toon!

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  Lucy in the Sky

  ‘I loved it – I couldn’t put it down!’ Marian Keyes

  ‘A fab debut and a great summer read’ Elle

  Johnny Be Good

  ‘Pacy, highly enjoyable insight into life in La-La Land!’ Closer

  ‘All the warmth and fun that I’ve grown to expect from the talented Ms Toon’ Freya North

  Chasing Daisy

  ‘A fast-paced and funny read… with great jokes and a thoughtful heart’ Daily Express

  ‘Laugh-out-loud funny and touchingly honest’ Company

  Pictures of Lily

  ‘An absorbing and emotional narrative – brilliant!’ Heat

  ‘Another perfect summer page-turner from Paige Toon’ Mirror

  Baby Be Mine

  ‘If you want escapism, this is perfect’ Cosmopolitan

  ‘Heart-warming and gut-wrenching (yet funny and addictive), will warm the cockles of your heart’ Giovanna Fletcher

  One Perfect Summer

  ‘Drama, heartache and tears aplenty – a refreshing take on the happy-ever-after tale’ Marie Claire

  ‘Sweet, charming and true to life… had us reminiscing about summer loves… amazing’ Cosmopolitan

  The Longest Holiday

  ‘Will bring a smile to the face of anyone who has been unlucky in love’ Daily Express

  ‘Pure, sun-drenched escapism… the perfect summer holiday read’ Heat

  Thirteen Weddings

  ‘Witty, fun and impossible to put down!’ Closer

  ‘A brilliant piece of chick-lit’ Fabulous Magazine

  The Sun in Her Eyes

  ‘Paige really ratchets up the tension. You’ll be in a reading frenzy by the end’ Lisa Jewell

  ‘Paige Toon’s epic bestseller shows how life can change in a heartbeat’ Glamour

  The One We Fell in Love With

  ‘You’ll love it, cry buckets and be uplifted’ Marian Keyes

  ‘I blubbed, I laughed and I fell in love… utterly heart-wrenching’ Giovanna Fletcher

  The Last Piece of My Heart

  ‘Wonderfully heartfelt... her best book yet!’ Heat

  ‘A gorgeous, warm novel’ Adele Parks

  In memory of Pascale Honore

  Letter to my readers

  Dear Reader,

  Thank you so much for picking up this book – I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

  I think I have felt more emotionally invested in the characters from Five Years From Now than any of the others I’ve created over the years. Perhaps it’s because I so strongly identify with them, having written their story to a timeline of my own life; perhaps it’s because my research brought me closer to a side of my family I don’t see very often. Or perhaps it’s because the inspiration came from something my dad said to me as a teenager, when I was going through a particularly tough time at school: ‘Five years from now, you’ll look back and will understand why this happened’…

  I’ve thought about his words many times over the years, not least because I wouldn’t have my two beautiful children if I hadn’t messed up my exams and ended up at the university where I would meet my husband. I was lucky enough to find a silver lining, but that might not always be the case for my characters.

  I’d love to know what you thought of Five Years From Now, and if you’d like to get in touch, you can reach me via the social media channels listed below. In order to keep spoilers to a minimum, I’ve also created a Facebook page where readers can talk openly – you’ll find it under @PaigeToon5Years.

  Lots of love,

  www.paigetoon.com

  #TheHiddenPaige

  Twitter/Facebook/Instagram: @PaigeToonAuthor

  Prologue: Forty

  ‘Oh, baby,’ I murmur, brushing Luke’s hair away from his forehead as he fights back tears.

  He’s still my ‘baby’, even if he is almost fifteen years old.

  ‘I can’t believe I’m going to be holed up for the rest of the summer,’ he says in a choked voice. ‘And I’m going to miss Angie’s party,’ he realises.

  I suspect this fact hurts him even more than his broken ankle.

  ‘She’ll probably get off with Jake and that’ll be that, then,’ he adds bitterly.

  I lean in and squeeze his shoulder. ‘Angela Rakesmith looks at you like the light shines out of your backside,’ I say pointedly. ‘You have nothing to worry about there.’

  Despite himself, my son grins, but it’s quickly followed by a grimace.

  ‘Do you need more painkillers?’ I ask with concern, my hand halfway towards the button to call the nurse.

  He shakes his head. ‘They make me feel sick.’

  ‘I’m sorry you’ll miss the party.’ I am genuinely sympathetic. Luke has been looking forward to it so much. ‘That sucks. But think of all of the attention you’ll get when you go back to school. The girls will be clambering over themselves to sign your cast. Angie will be jealous as hell.’

  His bottom lip wobbles and he swallows rapidly, but there’s no holding back his tears of misery and frustration.

  ‘I had so many plans for this summer! How did I do this surfing?’ He slaps his hand on the bed.

  ‘It could’ve been worse.’ I shudder at the thought.

  He rolls his eyes, putting a halt to the direction my thoughts were taking. ‘It could always be worse. That doesn’t make me feel better, Mum.’

  ‘I know it might not make a lot of sense right now, but one day…’ A shiver goes down my spine as I hear myself saying the words, ‘…maybe five years from now, you’ll look back and understand why this happened.’

  ‘No, I won’t,’ he retorts grumpily. ‘I’ll just think I was a stupid dick for inviting Jensen to come surfing with us.’

  I cast my eyes heavenwards.

  That’s how it happened. Luke’s friend Jensen got caught up in the rip current and Luke went after him. They hit the rocks on their way back in. Jensen face-planted on the reef and had to have three stitches on his eyebrow, but was otherwise unharmed. My son was less fortunate.

  ‘You’re right. You shouldn’t have invited him,’ I say. ‘None of you should have been surfing at Porthleven in those conditions, especially Jensen, who is way too inexperienced.’

  Unlike Luke, who has been surfing almost every day since he was ten years old.

  He bites his lip, knowing that he hasn’t heard the last of this.

  ‘But,’ I persist with making my point, despite his earlier dismissal, ‘maybe some good will come of this. Maybe, one day in the future, Jensen will think twice about surfing in similar conditions. Or you will. Or one of your friends will, and it might save their lives. Or perhaps there’s something else you’ll do this summer, someone you’ll meet who you wouldn’t have m
et otherwise, who’ll have an impact on your life. This may strengthen Angie’s feelings for you, or it may not – but at least you’ll know and won’t waste your time on her. All I’m saying is, although this feels like the worst thing ever right now, one day, you might look back and realise it happened for a reason. My dad once gave me that “five years from now” advice and I’ve never forgotten it.’

  Luke takes a deep breath, his face creasing with pain.

  ‘Are you sure you don’t need more medication?’ I ask worriedly.

  He shakes his head. ‘I’m fine. Just… take my mind off it. Please,’ he adds in a strained voice.

  ‘You want me to tell you a story?’ I flash him a hopeful smile.

  ‘As long as it’s not about Fudge and Smudge,’ he replies, chuckling and wincing in quick succession.

  ‘How dare you?’ I ask mockingly. ‘Fudge and Smudge are my greatest creations!’

  Not strictly true and he knows it.

  He grins at me. ‘You know I love them, really. So when did Grandad say that “five years” stuff to you?’

  ‘When I was your age, funnily enough. But I overheard someone say a similar thing a whole decade before that.’

  ‘When you were five? And you remember?’

  I nod. ‘Ruth was a hard person to forget.’

  ‘Who was she?’

  ‘The love of your grandad’s life,’ I explain. ‘And she wasn’t Grandma,’ I add with a significant look.

  ‘What happened to her?’

  ‘Well, that’s a whole other story.’

  He gives me a rueful look. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

  ‘All right, then,’ I say with a small smile. ‘I guess I’ll start at the beginning.’

  Which, for me, was when I was five years old…

  Five

  There was a boy on Nell’s bed.

  Nell’s grip on Rabbit tightened as she stared down at him. He stared back sullenly.

  ‘Nell, this is Vian,’ Daddy said in his trying-to-be-jolly-nothing-wrong-here voice.

  ‘Vian, come off the bed,’ Ruth urged gently.

  Nell had already met Ruth downstairs. Ruth had a nice smile and red curls that bounced when she walked. Nell instinctively liked Ruth. But if Ruth was the reason Nell had a boy on her bed, Nell might have to rethink her affections.

  ‘Vian,’ Ruth urged again.

  Nell dragged her eyes away from the boy with his dark, unfathomable eyes and looked up at her father. ‘Why is he on my bed?’

  Daddy seemed momentarily uncomfortable, but quickly put his jolly voice back on. ‘We thought you’d like to sleep in the top bunk, now that you’re a big girl.’

  Nell shook her head. ‘I want my bed.’

  Her father exchanged an awkward glance with Ruth.

  Ruth knelt down. ‘Can you get up, please, Vian?’

  ‘No,’ Vian muttered, edging back until his entire body was flush against the wall. His dark hair looked stark against the white paint.

  Nell’s eyes roved around the room, taking in the unfamiliar teddies on the duvet and the toy cars lined up on the narrow shelf behind the pillow. Something told her that Vian had been sleeping in her bed for some time.

  And it was her bed. It had always been her bed and her bedroom. She even had glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the wooden slats holding up the top mattress. Nell had a quick look to see if they were still there. They were.

  ‘It’s fine,’ Nell’s father brushed Ruth off, touching his hand to her arm. ‘Why don’t we all go and have a nice hot chocolate and a biscuit?’

  Hot chocolate and biscuits before dinner? Nell loved the idea of this, but Vian continued to scowl. It was as though he thought she was the intruder.

  ‘Daddy, I don’t want to sleep in the top bunk,’ she whispered anxiously as she followed her father out of her bedroom, not understanding the reason for the upheaval. ‘What about my glow-in-the-dark stars?’

  ‘We can get you some more to put on the wall,’ Daddy promised, turning around to scoop Nell up into his arms as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

  ‘But I like looking up at them,’ she said, her eyes pricking with tears as her father carried her the rest of the way into the kitchen.

  ‘Then we’ll get you some stars for the ceiling,’ Daddy replied.

  ‘But I like my bed.’

  ‘Nell, please.’ Her father’s forehead creased with impatience as he set Nell back on her feet. ‘Be a good girl, okay?’

  Nell was stung. She was a good girl. She loved coming to stay with her daddy in Cornwall. This was their time. Why did things have to change? Why did these people have to be here, too?

  Mummy had explained, of course. Daddy had a new girlfriend who had moved in ‘faster than the speed of light’…

  ‘Very unlike your father. Completely uncharacteristic. I did wonder if he’d been brainwashed, but we’ve spoken and she seems nice enough. Probably do him good – stop him from being such a hermit. Plus you’ll have company because her son’s the same age as you, born literally two days before you. Your dad thinks it’s fate, that you’re going to be like Topsy and Tim twins or something.’

  Nell’s head had spun with all this information, but she had lapped it up because Mummy was usually too busy to talk and now she was actually laughing.

  The only person who had made Mummy laugh lately was Conan, Mummy’s tennis coach.

  Not that Mummy had played tennis with Conan in a while.

  ‘Ruth? Are you coming?’ Daddy called loudly.

  ‘Be there in a minute,’ she called back.

  Daddy smiled at Nell. ‘Vian is a bit shy, but he’s really nice. You’ll like him, I promise.’

  He had claimed as much on the phone.

  ‘Now, which biscuits shall we have?’ Daddy asked. ‘Custard creams or Bourbons? Or Jammie Dodgers?’

  ‘Jammie Dodgers,’ Nell replied with a smile. Her father beamed at her as he tore the packet open and upended its entire contents onto a plate. ‘Here they are,’ he said merrily, as Ruth appeared hand in hand with Vian.

  The boy was about Nell’s height, possibly a couple of centimetres taller. Nell could see now in the light of the kitchen that his eyes were blue. Dark blue. He still looked very grumpy.

  Nell cuddled Rabbit to her chest and stepped behind her father’s legs.

  ‘All sorted,’ Ruth said jovially. ‘Vian will sleep in the top bunk from now on.’

  ‘But—’ Nell’s dad started.

  ‘Shh,’ Ruth cut him off. ‘It’s fine. He’ll be fine. Won’t you, darling?’

  Vian glared at his mother and pulled a chair out from the table, the sound of the wood screeching across the floor tiles making everyone except the perpetrator flinch. He slumped down on the chair in a sulk, his bottom lip jutting out and his arms folded across his chest as he stared straight ahead.

  Vian did not look fine.

  Nell tried not to care. She had only restored what was rightfully hers, after all. And she really did like her bed.

  Later that night, after what had been an uncomfortable dinner time – Nell’s father had talked way more than usual, while Vian hadn’t said a word – Nell sat on the floor, fidgeting, in the dark outside the bathroom. Ruth was helping her son to get ready for bed while Nell’s father cleaned up the kitchen. Nell was waiting to brush her teeth and go to the toilet, like Mummy always made her do on her own, but Vian and Ruth seemed to be taking ages. The door was open a crack and Nell could see Vian standing next to the bath, his head hanging down.

  ‘I don’t want to wear it,’ he mumbled and Nell mused that his face looked pink.

  ‘It’s only until you get used to the ladder,’ Ruth said in a low voice.

  ‘But nappies are for babies.’

  Nell listened with interest. Did Vian wet the bed?

  Vian sniffed.

  Was he crying?

  Ruth crouched down beside him. ‘It’ll be okay, Vian, I promise. Everything will be better tomorrow after you and Nell ha
ve had time to play together.’

  ‘She doesn’t like me.’

  ‘She doesn’t know you. This is very new to her, too, remember. She’s used to having her daddy all to herself when she comes here. It’s the only time she sees him.’

  ‘Why don’t I see my daddy?’

  Ruth sighed heavily and straightened back up. ‘Come on, honey,’ she chided.

  Nell’s mind ticked over. Who was Vian’s daddy? Where was he?

  ‘Put this on for tonight, to be on the safe side. You don’t want to have an accident when Nell is underneath you.’

  Nell’s eyebrows jumped up.

  When they were both in their PJs, Daddy read Nell and Vian a story on the downstairs sofa, not up on Nell’s bed as he usually did. Nell looked across at Vian, who was sitting totally still, listening intently. He had curls like his mummy, but they were shorter and came around his face, partly falling into his eyes. His hair was very dark brown, almost black.

  Vian hadn’t spoken to Nell directly since she’d arrived. She couldn’t imagine how he could possibly become a playmate, someone she wanted to spend time with.

  ‘Right, that’s it. Bedtime,’ Nell’s dad said, patting both children on their bare knees.

  Nell jumped up and kissed her father on the lips.

  ‘Night night, love you,’ she said.

  Her father looked taken aback as she turned away and hurried up the stairs.

  Nell had dragged bedtimes out as long as possible in the past, begging for just one more story, just one more kiss, maybe even a song…

  But tonight determination carried Nell to her bedroom.

  She threw Rabbit onto the top bunk and climbed up the ladder. By the time Vian appeared in the doorway, she was already snuggled under her duvet. He looked up at her with surprise.

  ‘You can have the bottom bunk,’ Nell said graciously. ‘I don’t mind.’

  Vian tore out of the room, shouting: ‘Mummy! Nell says I can sleep at the bottom!’

  ‘Oh, what a kind, considerate girl!’ Nell heard Ruth gush from the living room.

  Nell felt her insides expand with happy bubbles as she listened to her father’s footsteps on the stairs. He appeared in her room, his chocolate-brown eyes glowing with pride.