The Boy Who Swallowed A Whale, Page 2

Episode 20

  The pains in his stomach had multiplied, as had his visits to doctors. Various state-of-the-art diagnostic tests showed absolutely nothing. Perhaps because medical equipment doesn’t specialize in detecting whales inside of people. Episode 20 will sound a bit strange, but one night, Eric was alone at home because his wife and the baby had gone to stay with the grandparents. That night, groaning with pain, he turned the TV and the lights off and sat silently in the dark. “Who’s there?” he asked. “It’s me,” a voice answered. “And what do you want?” he asked again. “Well, for a start, I have a huge complaint,” said the voice, “you don’t drink enough water and it’s pretty hard for me to survive in here.” Eric was puzzled, but he waited with patience to hear the rest. “I’m surprised you don’t remember me! We met a long time ago, when you spotted me in your soup. We’ve been together since then. Lately I’ve grown quite a bit so you see how our living together is uncomfortable for the both of us.”

  Episode 21

  When one has confirmed that they are living with a whale inside their body, they acquire a completely different point of view of things. To start with, they stop being so certain about their memories, they doubt the validity of free will, and they examine with renewed interest the details of their visits to the bathroom. They also adopt the strange belief that they are the only person in the world this is happening to. As he was driving the family car, Eric was watching the white stripes on the tarmac. They could be white dolphins doing leaps, he thought. He almost had a very serious accident. It’s dangerous to drive under the influence of whales.

  Episode 22

  Eric felt a sweet serenity while holding his little boy in his arms. They were watching a children’s T.V. station. An elephant putting on its nighty slowly and then walking to bed for ten kilometers or so. Lost in the sleepy warmth of the cartoon, he wondered for the first time how it was possible for a whale to speak.

  Episode 23

  Elena Daphnopoulou was the only conscientious employee, apart from Eric, to stay so late at the office. “It’s ok,” she said when he urged her to go home, “tomorrow’s a day off. Besides, time goes by so quickly when I’m with you.” He had never imagined he had such an effect on time. Realizing you have superpowers makes your mouth go dry. That’s why Eric had a sip of water and smiled. That night in bed he couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned like Jonah’s washing machines. His wife woke up and asked him what was wrong. “I’m stressed with work”, he whispered. “Forget about work... try to think of something beautiful”, she advised him, turning to her other side. “But that’s the problem”, he wanted to say, but fortunately he kept quiet.

  Episode 24

  After searching online, here’s what Eric found out about whales: they are fully aquatic marine mammals. They are comprised by the Balaenids, Balaenopterids and the Physeteroids. Like all mammals they breathe air into their lungs, they nurse their young and have body hair, if very little. Their diet varies from plankton to other large aquatic mammals, depending on the species they belong to. Many species travel long distances to reproduce, either on their own or in groups. They are considered the descendants of land-dwelling animals that returned to the sea. Some ancient civilizations believed that whales were sacred and that the world rested on their backs, while others saw them as a source of disaster or as bloodthirsty monsters. For Christianity the whale was quite an ambiguous creature. Its belly was generally thought to be a representation of hell, in contrast to the story of Jonah where the whale was on God’s side. So to this day one could say that the whale is a symbol of the descent to the depths of the soul, and of regeneration. Eric learned some more things about whales, but these do not fit in this short story.

  Episode 25

  He never got calls from work on Sundays, so when he saw one that day from Elena Daphnopoulou, he got worried. When he answered, she was crying. She persistently asked to meet with him, because she said that she didn’t have anyone else close enough whom she trusted. Eric was completely honest, if a bit vague, when he explained to his wife that he had to leave because something came up with work. They met at her house. When she greeted him wearing a practically see-through nightgown, he no longer doubted the fact that his assistant’s phone call did indeed regard something extremely urgent. What pain spilled from her words as she held his hand and explained how lonely and unhappy she was! She asked him to hold her in his arms. She stroked his hair as she thanked him. He whispered that he had to leave, because his son was waiting for him. When he got out onto the road, Eric was so worn out, you’d think he had just managed a Hollywood getaway. Back at home, he was irritable. He was not at all happy about his wife sticking her nose in his business affairs.

  Episode 26

  Eric felt a strange impulse to write a poem: “I see you standing across from me / with your breasts free of cares and clothes / a snake wrapped around your one hand / in the other, with your long fingers you hold a drug / could it be an antidote to the snake’s poison / or poison that tricks the cowards to their death? / I’ve known you all these years but you never spoke to me / and now you come here begging on your knees / Are you a witch or a good fairy? / A butterfly or a scorpion?” He read what he had scribbled, which was ambivalent about whether to hide or reveal itself, and so practically illegible. He decided he did not have the stuff of poets. He meticulously tore up his work and threw it in the plastic bin, while humming “butterfly or scorpion”.

  Episode 27

  Let’s not ignore the elephant in the room any longer: Elena Daphnopoulou’s tenacious flirting towards Eric had provoked a fair share of thoughts, daydreams and physical stimulation. In fact, it had managed not only to dull the discovery of his inner whale, but also to cure his pains. He wanted to speak to someone about his torment, but he was finding it hard to think of anyone that he could trust with such a thing. One morning he took the day off work and travelled quite a few miles to his mother’s house. She was taken aback when he asked to be left alone with his stepfather. With his head hung low he explained everything regarding the Elena Daphnopoulou situation. His stepfather realized he had to muster all the wisdom he could in order to give any kind of decent answer. “Son,” he said, “you’ve come to the wrong person for advice. Someone who has never done anything wrong. So if I tell you to go ahead, it may be due to some sort of old-age revisionism, and if I tell you to take care of your family, it may be due to my cowardice. So I can really only say one thing: On your way back you will pass by an amazing pastry shop called Jason’s. Stop, order a slice of pastry number three, and as you eat it think about your dilemma.” Eric did exactly that. Although the pastry alleviated his impatience to solve the problem that was torturing him, that night he had awful pains in his stomach.

  Episode 28

  For his son’s second birthday, some friends gave him a well-made set of soft figures of Pinocchio, Geppetto and Jiminy Cricket. His son was completely indifferent to Geppetto, so Eric decided to spend more time with him.

  Episode 29

  The return of his pains on the night Eric had asked for his stepfather’s advice brought the issue of the whale back into the spotlight. He thought that he would probably have to get rid of it somehow. Maybe throwing up was a good idea? He didn’t know for sure if the whale confined itself to his stomach or if it floated around to other organs. He decided that when his wife and son went on holiday (a week before Eric’s leave), he would stay home and puke the devil up. Three nights he struggled, sweating and feeling as if his throat was being torn apart. Twice he nearly fainted from exhaustion. Nothing.

  Episode 30

  On the fourth night, having abandoned all efforts of dewhalization (interesting word, eh?), he called Elena Daphnopoulou and asked her out for a drink. Naturally she was more than willing to accompany him. She did however inform him that she had made plans with her girlfriends, which for him she would cancel. When she saw him at their meeting point she practically hung herself on him. Her theoretically friendly kiss
was barely off the center of his mouth. They laughed, they drank, they were having a great time. It was a celebration of spring, when fertilization occurs by a mere exchange of a glance. Just before they were about to leave for probably not different destinations, a hand annoyingly grabbed Eric’s shoulder. It was his old buddy. The irritating old man from Jonah’s. “Surely you remember me, don’t you?ˮ he said, obviously drunk, “well, I never would have thought you’d have such a young and pretty wife. My best wishes miss. We used to be neighbors, your husband and I. A fine young man.” Such an interruption was enough to put a premature end to the celebration of spring. Eric said goodbye to Elena Daphnopoulou, even though she asked him to go upstairs to her place for one more drink. He justified declining her invitation by professing an imaginary pain in his stomach.

  Episode 31

  The next day Elena Daphnopoulou was in a foul mood and quite abrupt when addressing Eric. He avoided any mention of the night before. Summer vacation leaves would start soon. Toward the end of the shift, Elena Daphnopoulou softened a bit and asked him if he wanted to get together that night.

  Episode 32

  At six thirty p.m. Eric was home alone, stretched out on his new couch watching TV. “Don’t think I didn’t catch on to what you tried to do!ˮ said the whale, who didn’t usually speak first. Eric sat up, since he didn’t know if aquatic mammals were sensitive to matters of decorum. The whale continued: “How do you think you can get rid of something that is yours?ˮ Eric hadn’t thought of their relationship in that way before that moment. The whale was on a roll: “If only you knew how many things I’ve swallowed for you. What would happen if I threw it all up without your consent? How easy would your life become then? I have patiently waited, cramped in here, and you go declaring war on me for a few extra pains.ˮ Then it went quiet, leaving him to stare into nothing for a while.

  Episode 33

  Elena Daphnopoulou’s bad mood obviously terrified Eric, so he agreed to meet her that night, even though he would have liked to buy some more time. He felt he was broken in three pieces: One that urged him to experience a harmless little fling, another that advised him to resist the sirens’ song, and a third one that was wondering exactly what the whale had meant. As he went down the stairs of his house he came to the startling realization that one feels better when broken in three pieces rather than in two.

  Episode 34

  On their date, Elena Daphnopoulou had lost some of her glow. She was tired and she cut right to the chase: “Why are you playing with me? Haven’t you realized how much I want you?ˮ Eric startled himself when he angrily replied: “Haven’t you realized that I’m married and have a young kid?ˮ Elena Daphnopoulou smiled like people do when they have just swallowed a camel. “I don’t want to marry you, buddy, but even so, I’ll give you time to think about us on your holiday and when you come back I’d like it if you were more resolvedˮ. Then she got up and left, after giving him a kiss on the mouth. Eric felt something between relief and disappointment. That “buddyˮ was like spinster reality slapping her moonstruck niece in the face.