We pull others down to ordinary with us
Delaying enlightenment
Facilitating ignorance
All in an effort to remain the same
DESCARTES’ DREAM
The spirit of mathematics
Can explain
My soul
Exists
JESUS’ LAST BREATH
You and I
Just shared Jesus’ last breath
And this is the beauty of our connectedness
COSMIC COMMUNICATIONS: PROLOGUE
After reading Brian Greene’s “Fabric of the Cosmos” cover to cover twice, I am constantly moved by the notion of “spooky action at a distance.” The principle states fundamental atoms of the universe once thought separate can be entangled regardless of the distance between them. Imagine if this theory was indeed proven true throughout all universes?
COSMIC COMMUNICATIONS
Consider this
Perhaps it is possible
To leave a trace
Of us
Beyond our own universe
Even if their galaxies do not share the same laws, like gravity
Perhaps
A cluster of signature atoms can indeed be arranged
Analogous to a crop circle
Connecting us to other universes
Like spooky action at a distance
To leave a trace
That in fact
We once existed
For my brother Mike.
LIKE A SUPERHERO
On your back
I will fly
Arms outspread
Pretending
To soar
And your shoulders
Are enough to carry my weight
For this life
And beyond
ARTISTIC EXPRESSION: PROLOGUE
Dear Matt,
Listening to “Rise from the Shadows” by Alberta Cross and thinking of our spiritual road trip across the Icefields Parkway and on to Lake Peyto in the summer of 2010. A life changing moment.
Love you,
Mike.
ARTISTIC EXPRESSION
Sometimes painters capture a moment better than reality can
Expressing
A timeless consciousness that we all share
Capturing
The sadness you feel
The urge to pull the trigger found in a million itchy fingers
The rage
The hate
The grief
The fear
The happiness
We all feel this, all of this
Again and again
Like an old scratched-out vinyl record
This does not mean one’s actions have been without purpose just because we are all so similar
Perhaps all of our emotions mean more within the collective than they ever could within one individual
I will say it again
Thank Buddha
Thank God
Thank all the painters
Thank The Beatles
Thanks to all who have captured and created our collective
For Dad.
NIGHT LIGHT
Dad
Keep the night light on
For me
Please
Glowing
I need those halos of light
Cutting through the night
Protecting me from fear
Like a security blanket wrapped around my soul
Check under the bed
Make me believe
No monsters are underneath the bed frame
With their furry blue hair and sharp orange fangs
Ready to pounce on me
I need these white lights left on
Just as much as I need you
Nothing can protect me
From these monsters dancing in my head
Like your courage
And a light left on when you leave
PAINT ON WINDOWS: PROLOGUE
Europe, 2007.
I arrive at the airport bags in hand to find my niece in the back seat of the car. Her left eye is swollen shut, her eyelid blood red and popped out as large as a golf ball. This is far from normal. To the hospital we go. Two kids and three adults. The kids thinking nothing more than their Uncle Matt is here from the United States to play Chutes and Ladders. When my niece and her golf ball eye look my direction, she smiles brightly as if to say, “My eye is quite pretty, don’t you think?” And I respond, “Looks like you got bitten by a giant mosquito over there. Darling, that bug probably popped after it sucked your eyelid dry.” She laughs bold and bright. But, the adults know this is no mosquito bite. This is serious. This may be life and death. Toward the hospital we speed 50, 60, 70, 80mph...
PAINT ON WINDOWS
Caterpillar paint on hospital windows
Butterfly paint too
We pay to enter
The little one gives me a smile for free
And a dance to boot
Beds made up
One for me
One for mother and child
Make it all beautiful
Blankets firm and taught, the little one says
My eye is swollen shut, you see
And yet I can still laugh at you
Still I smile at you
Two more nights sleeping here
Then back home to play on slides tomorrow, she says
I am brave, she says
One hamburger, one cheeseburger to calm my nerves, she says
Simple things, big things
How do we divide the two
When thinking of dying
We must live every last second quick
Again on our way
Down these hospital halls
Hoping today is cleaner, fresher
So that our next day is louder, brighter
I will take you on my back
I will hold your hand
I promise I will protect your shadows that dance in the sun
All words spoken on the way
I believe them, she believes them
Our hands intertwine
Big and little
Big things, little things
I do not divide the two
We make our way down the halls
Stumbling on little chairs that line the walls
Believing the other is love so perfect
Even in the face of this struggle
We are safe
Our stinky feet and dirty toes enough to guide us
Guide us to the door
The door where others take my girl
Whisk her away, for you never have enough time
And now tubes take the place of my hands
As her care is no longer mine to give
Doors close
My mind drifts
I say to myself
No hospital can hold us
No needle can make us sad
For we are endless imagination
We are caterpillar paint on windows today
Yearning one day to be beautiful and fly free
A THOUSAND DREAMS: PROLOGUE
Vienna, 2007.
My agent calls to tell me “Gilmore Girls” has been cancelled. In the same breath she casually mentions I have not been cast in a movie I desperately wanted. I was in Europe trying my best to enjoy life and in the span of one call my career was turned on its head. Although I had my moments of doubt and battles with sorrow for sure, I believed that I was still on the right track with my aspirations. I knew my self deeply, I knew my soul, I knew my worth, and that calmed me. Even in this most challenging of moments, I knew I could work hard and survive this uncertain time. So why not dream a thousand dreams?
A THOUSAND DREAMS
Why not dream a thousand dreams
Of the true self I desire to become
Why not allow greatness to seep into my soul
To build fantasies upon fantasies
All in an effo
rt to exceed the confines of my mind
Why not me
To be brilliant
To be free
To become my dreams in reality
In my imagination I have no chains
No end to my beliefs
I am boundless opportunity
King’s castles in the clouds
Dragons for me to slay
As I become my favorite superhero
Flying free
Overcoming my vulnerability
No obstacle tall enough to derail me
No worry large enough to shake me
Magic in my bones
All conjured up through the electrical sparks of my brain
If I have to dream a thousand dreams to make this imagination become me
I will keep dreaming until sleep becomes me
Because
I believe
Life is indeed limitless possibility
Life is a dream made reality
HURRICANES
Brace yourself against the wind
And even when faced with hurricanes
Smoke that last cigarette
THE GREATEST: PROLOGUE
Listening to Jay-Z’s “Empire State of Mind” with a touch of whisky by my side.
THE GREATEST
In the beginning
Your new born fingers in my palms
I would whisper in your ear
You can be everything
The sun, the sky, the stars, the moon
Piercing every moment of darkness
With the greatness of your heart
Cradling you in my arms
I would always think to myself
I will be the inspiration that makes you more than you
Make you the greatest
Never realizing
From the beginning
I was the one placing shackles on your mind
Inhibiting your light that I desired all to see
Now I see
You must let go of me
Break free
It’s okay
You can be without me
And still be everything for me
Just be
Shining bright enough out there for me to see
Becoming everything I ever wanted you to be
Believe in me
All you need is to be free of me
To become
The greatest
SEEING ILLUSIONS: PROLOGUE
One of the deepest relationships in my life was with a woman who has Stargardt’s disease, a genetic eye disease that causes deterioration of the retina over time eventually leading to blindness. To compensate for her lack of sight, her brain fills in her vision of the world with information it thinks exists; even if in reality, the images are false. The result is a profound vision of life that is created through a mix of beautiful illusions, creativity, and the discovery of deep truths.
SEEING ILLUSIONS
Life like a prism
Our eyes, our brain
Creating reality
From a patchwork of electromagnetic energy
Your eyes
A bit different than most
Shaping reality from holes and incomplete light
Your brain
Compensating, adding, fabricating
Filling in the missing pieces from the blind spots
Your eyes, your brain
Together
Nurturing, fulfilling
A kaleidoscopic view of twisted reality
Mixes of illusions, truths, magic, and fantasy
Unreal or real
Who cares
You create life as it could be
You create life as it should be
Beyond merely capturing light from rods and cones
To creating and discovering the unseen
Rocking the fabrics of our beings to the core
Changing identities, essences, and beliefs
Like Alice in Wonderland
Yet no LSD on your tongue
Unlocking a door
Walking into a mystery
Powered only by imagination
Your eyes, your brain
Shaping a psychedelic symphony
Beyond the hearing of notes
To the seeing of colors
Blues, reds, and greens
And on to new hues undefined previously in all of history
In your eyes life itself emerges
Truths abstracted
Absolutes uncovered
Boundaries broken
And what do we call this new vision
All so much more than the simply seen
Unintentionalism
Real or unreal
Who cares
A word created by us
To define these stumbled upon truths
And serendipitous adventures
All actualized by your view
Your eyes like no other
Your brain like no other
Your vision like no other
Your world like no other
I wish everyone could see
Like you
CLUES
Nothing is ever as it seems
Things once thought impossible by geniuses yesterday
Are commonplace today
A LIGHT IN GANESHA: PROLOGUE
Ganesha. A Hindu deity revered as the Remover of Obstacles and Lord of Beginnings.
A LIGHT IN GANESHA
My eyes are open
Today
Strange things have come to me
Once in a dream
Twice as doubt
And a third time as reality
I now believe the greatest things once thought impossible
Are indeed possible
As you remove these obstacles from my mind
The world will move again
Tomorrow
Back to normal
Sun up
Sun down
Life will carry on
New obstacles will be reborn in my mind
But
I with purity
Move one foot in front of the other
I trust
That a path not there before
Will soon appear below my feet
As I walk
I place honey into my mouth
To sweeten my tongue
I know I must be kind in this moment
For people with doubt surround me
But
I remain calm
Knowing every man is a holy man
Blessing us on street corners with their tongues and fables
We only need to be wise to it
Eyes open
And treat them as if they too were Gods
I understand this new light within me
Rebirth
Renewal
Remover of Obstacles
I believe the greatest things once thought impossible
Are indeed possible
Sun up
Sun down
Obstacles come
And this too shall pass
No matter the doubt around me
My eyes remain open
Strange things have come to me
Once in a dream
Twice as doubt
And a third time as reality
ACT II
TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN: SIDE ONE
In the end
Nothing really happens
All of our actions
Swallowed up
Because of the universe
The pain
The anguish
Replaced
By darkness on all sides
Erasing
Us
TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN: SIDE TWO
In the end
Everything happens
All of our actions
Expand outward
Because of the universe
The joy
&nbs
p; The brilliance
Magnified
By the sun from all sides
Nothing could ever erase
Us
THE YIN AND YANG OF DRINKING
They say drinking is bad
But Dean Martin felt sorry for those who never drank
Because he said, each morning they woke up and that was the best they could hope to feel all day
And it is true
Drinking has killed a few
It could kill me
It may kill you
Yet
It is not clear whether it is the drink that traps or frees you
Sometimes I suppose
The drink does both
But
How many years have you truly lived
The answer may surprise you
I would rather risk death to live
Than fear life and die anyway
WRONGS AND RIGHTS
Like when dreaming
And suddenly
Waking to the confusion of the morning light
I can’t figure out
All of these wrongs and these rights
When living as a child sneaking around corners past your bedtime
You might catch something beautiful
Like your dad praying on his knees
Rosary beads wrapped around his wrists
Or when living as an adult doing something foolish
You might find something breathtaking
Like true love
To me it seems
These wrongs always turn into rights
And my rights are perfectly forgettable
Like when dreaming
And suddenly
Waking to the confusion of the morning light
I can’t figure out
All of these wrongs and these rights
PANDORA’S BOX
With naiveté as my most powerful weapon
I step forward
Making choices
Intending to save the world with passion
One tiny step
Sends pebbles rocketing throughout the universe
One justified calculation
Sends my theories into chaos
These doors now opened
Cannot be closed
These actions taken
Cannot be undone