BROTHERS ON LIFETM is a journey into the mind and soul told through personal reflections, childhood photographs, and the stories of two brothers, actor Matt Czuchry (“The Good Wife” & “Gilmore Girls”) and psychology professor Dr. Mike Czuchry.
Told in three acts, these pages of youth, death, philosophy, spirituality, and love are used to tap into the universal connectedness we all share when experiencing the complexities of our individual lives. Each piece is what you need. Each piece is what you see. All in an effort to unlock the dreams and imagination of that child within.
What will you uncover about your own life when tapping into the essence of the collective?
Brothers On LifeTM
By
Matt Czuchry
Mike Czuchry
Editors: Angelique O’Neil, Nanci Grasso
Cover Illustration: Brian Rea
Consultants: Robert Wolff, Taylor Jones
Graphic Design: Betty Abrantes
Formatting: Lynette M. Smith
Published May 01 2012 by Zook Innovations LLC
9200 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles CA 90069
Print edition ISBN 978-0-9848452-0-0
Electronic edition ISBN 978-0-9848452-1-7
Library of Congress Control Number 2011944312
Copyright (c) 2012 Matt Czuchry, Mike Czuchry
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of these authors.
ACT I
Gems
Dandelions On The Wind ~ Taking Chances ~ Blood Brothers ~ Bulldozers ~ Celebrate ~ Freedom ~ Love And Lights ~ I Would ~ Fulfilled
God Laughing ~ Rein ~ Creation ~ Deities ~ Unraveling Mysteries ~ Descartes’ Dream ~ Jesus’ Last Breath ~ Cosmic Communications
Like A Superhero ~ Artistic Expression ~ Night Light ~ Paint On Windows ~ A Thousand Dreams ~ Hurricanes ~ The Greatest ~ Seeing Illusions ~ Clues ~ A Light In Ganesha
ACT II
Two Sides Of The Same Coin ~ The Yin And Yang Of Drinking ~ Wrongs And Rights ~ Pandora’s Box ~ Spotlight ~ In Flames ~ Towers ~ Those Eyes/Same Eyes ~ To Be
One ~ Stick Up For Yourself ~ A Trojan Horse ~ Crinkles Around Our Eyes ~ Trouble ~ In The End
The Jester ~ A Great Success ~ Enough ~ Truth Absolute
Merry-Go-Round ~ Genies ~ Thyself ~ Bent ~ Letters
Capsized ~ In The Mourning ~ Better By You ~ Pathways
ACT III
Experiences ~ Flush ~ A Beautiful Life ~ Bliss ~ Connected ~ Bottle It Up ~ New Dress ~ I Love
Magnificent ~ The Dreamcatcher ~ The Lighthouse ~ The Doc ~ Sweet Tooth
My Things ~ The Clock ~ End To End ~ Shedding Tears ~ Extinguished
Hometown ~ Boundless ~ Where Do These Souls Go ~ You’re All I Need ~ Speechless
Hurry Up
INTRODUCTION
Johnson City, Tennessee, 1995. Counting the days till high school graduation. Watching the seconds on my alarm clock tick over. Hurrying life forward by waiting. Desiring a new life to come but not seeking it. In the face of rushing, my brother Mike quietly reminds me that we are promised no new day and each moment must be treasured because one will never know when death may come.
Into my right hand Mike slips me some of his original thoughts titled GEMS. These words on pieces of white notebook paper ring the alarm in my head. Buzzzz. I am up. Mike made me see as I was moving toward adulthood, I had forgotten an essential cornerstone of my childhood; the beauty of life embraced through imagination, dreams, and living in the moment. My big brother Mike will always be my greatest friend. In our early youth after spitball fights and before our days became our dreams, we would end the night with a journey into our imagination. Surrounded by Beatles posters with Matt on the top bunk bed and Mike on the bottom one we would continue the family tradition by asking each other, “What story do you want to hear? The one about the motorcycle gang, the one about the gun, or the one about...” and then upon noting the story of choice, we would dive into a world without bounds. The fantastical characters we created within these stories would follow us into our dreams and continue to spark our creativity into our days. Our summers in adolescence were spent on the beach even further away from the confines of reality. Dreams in the middle of the day were king as the chores on the sands were: 1) live fully 2) be in the moment 3) come up with a cool new superhero name, power, and cape. In these days where the salt air flowed through our veins, the only stress to endure was the unwelcome challenge of removing the beach sand from our bed sheets before sleeping. As adults the lives we have individually created are quite different in appearance. Shaped through contrasting careers. Formed by distinctive cities and life experiences. Cultivated with a variety of loves. Our lives unique, yes. Opposing, no. Beginning with our first stories told from bunk beds through the book you have in your hand today, we both embrace the core perception that life is beautiful, challenging, precious, and an experience that interconnects us all.
In BROTHERS ON LIFETM we share our stories with you as a vehicle to tap into the universal connectedness we all feel when experiencing the complexities of the mind and soul. Each piece is what you see. Each piece is what you need. All in an effort to unlock the dreams and imagination of that child within. Yearning for a life created, lived, and loved in the moment.
This book is dedicated to you.
Please begin.
New York City, 2012
Matt Czuchry
Mike Czuchry
ACT I
Johnson City, Tennessee, 1995.
GEMS
Don’t rush by the gems of today
To get to your tomorrows
That robbed yesterday
DANDELIONS ON THE WIND
For all the love we share this life and beyond
May it move through us and on to others
In each moment of goodness between us
Let it carry on the wind
Like dandelions
To new hearts
With each child born and life taken
We move into each other
Our souls connected
Forever alive
TAKING CHANCES
Even stars begin to fade as their traces are swept away
Even the sun will lose its sprite and darken
Time moves quickly and we age
But our souls never change
Who are we, whose heart can we touch
If we too are a mirage
We need to love
We need to give
But are afraid our love will not be taken
But hearts can dance
Given the chance
And a smile’s spell
Can cast a shiver
If we are not afraid
To give
My big brother Mike will always be my greatest friend.
BLOOD BROTHERS
I can count on you
For anything and everything
Pushed down by foes and falling
Scratching my wrists, palms, and cheeks too
Salty tears clouding my eyes
These playgrounds of youth can be so unkind
I look to the sky for answers
Calling out for comfort to the clouds above
Alone
My eyes sweeping across the swings and ladders
Looking and searching to find
You
You run to me
Sweep me up in your arms
Show your teeth and fists to the world
And hug my pain away
You dry my tears
Remove my fears
And make it all okay
Even now, a touch older
My hands still bruise
My heart still aches
My soul still burns
And I still need you to pick me up when I fall
No matter the distance
No matter the space between us
I can still count on you
For anything and everything
I remember every scrape you healed for me
I remember every broken heart you sealed for me
I remember every battle you fought and won for me
I remember in sickness you stayed up through the night for me
When the time comes
And you find yourself in need of me
Call out to me
I will run to you
Fists ready, teeth sharpened, hugs loaded
I will sweep you up in my arms
Shed every last drop of blood for you
I will dry your tears
Remove your fears
And make it all okay
Trust in me
You will see
You can count on me
For anything and everything
BULLDOZERS: PROLOGUE
I am walking in the middle of the road, splitting the white lines on the street while making my way to the set for work. It is pitch black at twelve o’clock at night. It is pouring rain and I am avoiding the puddles on my approach. I look up to see a giant bright yellow bulldozer creeping its way directly toward me. A couple of steps ahead I hear my friend say, “Oh my gosh, if my son saw this right now, he would be so happy!”
BULLDOZERS
Remember
Trucks, robots, dinosaurs, bulldozers
When we were kids
All we cared about
Were those fun horns, futuristic friends, silly feet, giant shovels
Those magical look up moments
Those bigger than us wow moments
No need as children to color inside the lines
No need to keep the sand within the boxes
Nothing could pause our spirit, except freeze tag
But things change when the world grows up
Fun horns become too loud
Futuristic friends turn into job takers
Silly feet become just plain silly
Bulldozers turn into traffic
Inevitably we grow
Does that mean the magic has to slip through our fingers
To be chased away and lost forever
Because actually
No matter the age
Dinosaurs are still pretty cool
And coloring between the lines at work will get you nowhere
Bulldoze my pretensions
Down to my essence
To the child within
To those magical moments
To those bigger than us wow moments
Remember
CELEBRATE
Will you come along
With me
Just for a moment
I can’t die without
Without ever knowing
Without ever finding this love hiding within
I have to try
Try to love you
Try to love with eyes open
Even if I fall in too deep
And we say farewell
I have to try
Better to have
Than to have not
I have to
Dance in the dark with you naked
Watch the candles flicker red in the pupils of your eyes
Drink too much by your side and
collapse on soft couches
I need to
Drink coffee under covers as you tell me of God
And spill Saturdays into Sundays
I have to
Bathe in your skin
With holy water sealing our wounds
Purifying our souls
Celebrate we must
For tomorrow is never promised
So we will make angels
Angels in the rain tonight
And when the rain turns to snow tomorrow
We will make angels in the flakes from Heaven
And when the snow turns to sun in the summertime
We will breathe angels onto glass windowpanes
No matter the weather
When feeling high
When feeling low
We can stay together
Forever
Our rainy days are better than sunny days
And our sunny days our souls complete
You are so much goodness, love, and beauty
Even if it all falls apart one day
If I tried
I can always say
Because of you
I danced in the dark
I laughed deeper
I loved like no other
For we are greatest in the moments that take our breath away
And any breath in between is just living
So come along with me
And let’s celebrate
FREEDOM
When you accept me
In my nakedness
At any moment
You make me
Free
LOVE AND LIGHTS
Girl what you do to me
In times like these
I am just lucky to be alive
With you here
In your embrace
Happiness
Flying throughout our souls
Calm and peace
Sprinkled throughout our hearts
Oh New York
What you do to me
These city streets
These city lights
Tomorrow
We will be
Shadows and dust
Indeed
But today
We are
Love and lights
I WOULD
I am as guilty as any other
In believing that my life should be worth something more than theirs
But give me a choice
A real choice that will change the probabilities either for or against my loved ones
And I would sell my soul to the devil to shift the odds even if only slightly toward favoring your existence
Perhaps this is simply the expression of my selfish genes and I am no hero in my actions here
But whether it be my twisted ambitions, genetics, psychological reasons, or indeed true love
I would attempt to destroy all other living things, even my own soul
If it meant one more second of your existence
FULFILLED
Life
For us
But
Life
Will always be full
With us
And
I need nothing more
Than us
GOD LAUGHING: PROLOGUE
When we are all gone who will have gotten it right, the scientists or the theologians?
GOD LAUGHING
Here’s my take on the universe
Stephen Hawking was right
There is no need for God to be in it
Richard Dawkins was right
God is an illusion
And yet there may very well be
Many universes
Outside of what we can measure
A funky world of multiple dimensions
Where you cannot rule out
God laughing
Just outside
Everything
REIN: PROLOGUE
New York City, August 27th, 2011. The radar on the television screen shows red swirls of Hurricane Irene approaching. For the first time in history Manhattan has issued mandatory evacuations of waterfront neighborhoods. I stay in t
he city, call two friends and say, “Come stay with me, let’s not be alone.” Water and food are stacked high in the white paint peeled cupboards. Bridges are closed and subways are shutdown. We are now stuck on the island. We had a choice, we made it. Now, it is up to the winds.
REIN
Raindrops can heal
Or
Wash away cities
We feel all powerful
But
When God decides to rein
We are reminded
We are tiny
CREATION
Ever want to split your soul
Into a million pieces
Perhaps that is what God did
For us
To live
DEITIES
All these deities
Hanging out in my living room
Eating chocolate bars and drinking coffee
Spreading love, peace, and magic
Together we are never alone
Together we are free
The cross over my bed
Has no contentions
With Buddha in the garden
Ganesha on my mantle piece
Opens his arms
For Allah in the windowpane
Together we laugh
Together we sing
I kneel to all
Clean dust from all
Burn candles for all
In turn they lift me from my knees
Repair the wounds of my sins
And shower me with truth
UNRAVELING MYSTERIES
Properly applied and focused
The mind is capable of anything
Creating miracles
Unraveling mysteries
Outliving diagnoses
Making dreams come true
Yet most days
We are scared of the mind’s possibilities
And remain bound to the expected
Often times
We create chaos subconsciously
Misdirecting our potential
We build a house of mirrors within us
Blurring reality
Making us think we are living fully
When in truth we are not
And like crabs in a bucket