Perception or The Oatmeal Cookie & Michelle's Mind, Page 2
Michelle Hoogwoud
She makes hot chocolate.
KITCHEN
Crazymikala pours hot water into cup.
BLACK SCREEN TEXT:
NARRATOR
She drinks the hot chocolate.
KITCHEN
Crazymikala drinks some hot chocolate.
CRAZYMIKALA
Cartridge… want some?
HEADQUARTERS
The phone is in CENTER on screen and Cartridge is behind phone.
CARTRIDGE
(yells)
How come no one is calling?!
There is a KNOCK at the door.
Cartridge looks up. He gets up and answers the door.
FLOATING BOY is revealed.
FLOATING BOY
Hi. There was no number, so I just
came.
BLACK SCREEN TEXT: "Audition Day"
EXT. Cloverdale stage - DAY
Floating Boy stands on the stage and looks left and then right.
CARTRIDGE
You're hired!
FLOATING BOY
(Raises arms)
YEAH!
CARTRIDGE
(to Crazymikala)
Now all you need is a cape!
Crazymikala is now behind a sewing machine.
CRAZYMIKALA
I'm working on it!
[END CREDITS]
INT. Dark Room of EVIL VILLIAN.
We see the back of a chair and a hand with a glove on the side with 2 Chinese balls clinging in hand.
EVIL VILLIAN
(in Japanese)
The end is near Real Heroes.
(evil laughter)
FADE OUT.
Evil Elves
By Michelle Hoogwoud
June 2, 2010
*I would love to film this one, one day. I have loads of low-budget ideas for this.*
FADE IN:
INT. HOUSE HALLWAY – Night
Footsteps are seen walking down the hallway. Violin music (or something creepy) starts and heart beat thumps are heard.
Camera changes view to see face of MICHELLE, a 20-something year old woman.
She has a shocked look on her face.
Distant view.
More distant.
Even more distant to reveal the 6-foot stuffed MONKEY on the ground.
Close up on the Monkey's face.
Distant shot to see Monkey's full body covered in blood.
MICHELLE
(screaming)
NO-----!
BLACK SCREEN
White text on screen shows: “1 Hour Before”
INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT
From an upward view from the table, Michelle picks up a piece of paper. She reads it, and then throws it on the ground.
Zoom in on paper: “We have Bongo. You have 60 minutes. -- The Elves”
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Michelle is in the car, and she is driving. She is wearing a detective's hat.
Camera view from the drivers side looking into the car.
MICHELLE (V.O)
Don't die on me Bongo. You've been
there for me buddy.
An EVIL ELF jumps onto her car. It hisses.
The car swerves and Michelle keeps turning the wheel to throw the elf off.
MICHELLE (V.O)
Elves.
She turns the wheel sharply and the elf rolls off the hood of the car.
Michelle keeps driving and goes into an...
UNDERGROUND PARKADE.
Michelle opens the door and takes a step on the ground. She now has a Japanese bandana on.
A few shots from a gun is shot at her car. She looks up.
EVIL ELF #2 has a hand gun. 7 more EVIL ELVES come out from hiding also with various weapon.
Michelle looks around and pulls out her Machine Chainsaw gun.
MICHELLE
Do you seriously wanna fuck with me?
An arrow is shot into her shoulder.
MICHELLE
You're serious!
She turns the chainsaw of her gun on and deflects a few oncoming bullets.
Michelle then turns the gun and shoots at the elves. A few fall to the ground and die.
3 elves run back into the exit door.
Michelle runs after them. She looks at the security device on the door and then blasts the door open.
She enters into the
STAIRCASE LOBBY
Evil Elf #2 looks up and sees Michelle. Michelle starts the chainsaw up again.
EVIL ELF #2
(evil laughter)
Meh heh heh heh! You're too late!
Michelle saws the elf. Blood splatter.
INT. HOUSE HALLWAY
Michelle's footsteps are seen walking down the hallway. Heart beat thumps are heard.
Camera changes view to see face of Michelle has a shocked look.
Distant shot to see Monkey's full body covered in blood.
MICHELLE
(screaming)
NO-----!
A bunch of evil elves come out. They have flame throwers and guns. All begin to shoot at Michelle.
She shoots at a few elves.
Her ammo runs out.
She then reaches into her jacket and whips out throwing knives and kills 1 elf in the forehead and another in the neck.
She pulls out a grenade, drops it, and jumps out the window.
EXT. BUILDING ALLEY – Night
Michelle lands on the pavement and puts her massive gun down.
A tear runs down her cheek.
FADE OUT.
CUT TO:
EXT. RURAL AREA – DAY
The sun is bright and Michelle is on a motorcycle driving into a place with a giant sign: 'Elf City.'
END.
PIMP MY ZOMBIE
Created by Michelle Hoogwoud
May/April 2011
FADE IN:
EXT. OUTSIDE IN A PARK SOMEWHERE
HAL, a young man, is running away from a bunch of Zombies.
[Optional]HAL (V.O.)
I know. I’m gonna die. If I could
re-do this I would never Pimp My Zombie.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOUSE/GARAGE
MICHAEL, host of the show, steps out of an awesome car.
MICHAEL
Sup, welcome to Pimp My Zombie.
We’re gonna check out Hal’s Zombie.
INT. BOARDROOM/OFFICE
The ‘Pimp My Zombie’ crew: Michael, CHELSEA, KEVIN, and JAMIE. The crew sit around a table looking towards a screen. They use a remote and one of them press the on button. Hal then appears on screen.
ZOOM SCREEN
INT. HAL’S HOUSE
Hal stands next to his zombie, HAL’S ZOMBIE.
Hal’s Zombie looks a mess: messy hair, raggedy, no shoes, etc all around like a dirty hobo.
HAL
Hi, this is my zombie.
We hang out and chill.
Sequence shots of:
1. Hal and Zombie walking down the street, and a bunch of people pointing and laughing at Hal’s zombie.
2. Hal throws a Frisbee to the Zombie, and it hit’s it’s head and Zombie falls over.
3. Zombie steps in dog poo and walks in the house and stands on Hal’s bed.
INT. BOARDROOM/OFFICE
One of the crew press the remote, and the screen goes black. [Every time one of the crew talks, there is a close-up on them and their names are displayed on screen]
KEVIN
Man, his Zombie sucks!
CHELSEA
That Zombie needs some pimpin’
JAMIE
That Zombie needs some braaaains!
MICHAEL
It’s time to Pimp Hal’s Zombie.
[Insert “Pimp My Zombie” Intro: Parody Style]
INT. GARAGE
Michael stand
s in the garage and Hal enters.
They shake hands.
MICHAEL
How in the world did you get such a
sad zombie?
HAL
I love the guy Michael, but my zombie
has made me the laughing stock in my
hood. I can’t even go outside anymore!
MICHAEL
That bad, hey?
HAL
Help me Michael, let me be able to
leave my house in style.
Jamie slides on in.
JAMIE
That, we can do.
INT. GARAGE
The crew stand around Hal’s Zombie. It’s spaced out and begins to drool.
MICHAEL
So, what do we have planned for this
brain dead fellow?
Chelsea walks up to the zombie, and looks at this hair.
CHELSEA
I am going to give him a new hair style,
Mike. Can’t have this zombie strollin’
around with garbage in his hair.
I’m thinkin’ a clean up and maybe a
Hat to save what brains he has left.
Chelsea steps back and Kevin steps forward.
KEVIN
I’m gonna give this zombie a new
wardrobe! No one would dare take
this bloody fool down main street!
We’re talkin’ bling bling and some shades!
Kevin backs up and Jamie steps forward. Jamie walks around the zombie and puts on a plastic glove and wipes some drool off the zombies mouth.
JAMIE
I’m gonna stimulate his brain!
(mad scientist laugh) layer screens
This way this zombie can be of some use!
MICHAEL
Alright, let’s pimp this zombie!
Sequence shots:
1. Kevin is looking through a wardrobe line on a rack, he picks out an outfit.
2. Chelsea pulls out a few household cleaning supplies… and shampoo.
3. Jamie puts on a lab coat and safety goggles.
4. Kevin hands clothes to zombie, and it goes into a change room.
5. Zombie is sitting in a salon chair and Chelsea is blow drying the zombie’s hair.
6. Jamie has 2 metal rods stuck into the zombie’s head and flips on a switch in the background. Maniacal laughter ensues.
INT. GARAGE
The crew is facing the camera and the zombie is facing the crew. Kevin puts sunglasses onto the eyes of the zombie and backs up.
MICHAEL
I think we’re ready to bring Hal in.
Hal enters the scene.
Hal’s Zombie turns around to reveal the gangsta masterpiece loaded with bling. It smiles, gold tooth is revealed.
HAL
Holy [beep]! This is awesome!
Holy! Holy! Mother!
Hal drops to the floor.
ZOMBIE
Sup homeboy.
HAL
He talks!
Hal stands up.
Zombie walks over to the car.
MICHAEL
And he can drive.
HAL
This is amazing!
Hal drops to the floor again.
ZOMBIE
Get up fool, we be strollin the hood
for some zombie babes.
HAL
You made him cool!
Hal gets up.
Zombie starts the engine.
MICHAEL
Glad you love your zombie, but that
is my car.
Zombie slowly turns his head towards Michael.
ZOMBIE
Get in the car, Hal.
Hal gets into the passengers seat.
In the distance he is heard saying ‘awesome! I get a car!’
The Zombie gets up from the seat and bites Michael’s arm.
Michael screams.
JAMIE
Oh my god, I think I gave it too much
brain power!
Zombie bites Jamie’s head.
Zombie bites Kevin, and kicks him.
Zombie licks Chelsea and throws her in the back seat.
Zombie loads Jamie, Kevin, & Michael into the trunk.
Hal is still stoked and hasn’t noticed anything that happened.
The car drives off.
HAL
You are awesome zombie!
Zombie turns on the radio and it’s head nods to the beat.
ZOMBIE
I know.
EXT. CAR – ROAD SCENE
The car drives down the road. Music pumping.
INT. CAR – DAY
Chelsea wakes up.
CHELSEA
Oh my god, this isn’t right.
HAL
Sup.
Jamie, Kevin, and Michael wake up as zombies.
Chelsea screams a petrifying scream.
ZOMBIE
I am no longer your zombie, Hal.
I release you.
HAL
You release me? WHAT?!
The crew zombies reach to grab Chelsea.
The car comes to a screeching halt.
Hal’s Zombie pulls down his shades and glares at them.
He directs his eyes to Hal.
The trunk door is automatically opened and the zombies get out and go to the passenger’s seat.
Hal screams.
HAL
Why Zombie, why?
Zombie gets out of the car, pulls Chelsea out, and puts his arm around her.
ZOMBIE
You’re not pimp enough.
Zombie unlocks the passengers door.
Hal screams, crawls across to the drivers side.
Jumps out.
EXT. OUTSIDE IN A PARK SOMEWHERE
Hal is running away from a bunch of Zombies.
HAL
(crying)
I wish I was pimp.
The zombie crew catch up to Hal, and right before they bite into him, in the distance are a bunch of stylish zombies.
They put a boom box onto the ground with the ‘Pimp My Ride’ music.
HOST ZOMBIE steps forward with microphone in hand.
HOST ZOMBIE
(point to camera & raspy voice)
Raaaahhh Raaah Rah reeeh blllaaarrg??
[Subtitles: Are you ready for Pimp My Human?]
FADE OUT.
Credit Roll.
Intermission
So you read some of my short screenplays. I have a habit of writing comedy. I wrote only one serious script, which took me 2 months to write because I had to resist adding in comedy, and I had to re-write, re-write, and re-write.
After me and my friends had filmed it, it was so moving that people in my German Culture through Film class cried. My mom cried too. I think I have a problem with people crying at films I make, so I suppose that’s why I tend to put in comic relief.
After this, is Schuld which means Guilt.
After you read it, as it normally should be. Think of a 6-foot monkey at the last scene. Me and the videographer agreed it would be hilarious to add in, but being a serious film as it was, it would be offensive. So your imagination will have to do the rest.
Me and my friends filmed it in one day from 10:30AM until 7PM in late November.
Enjoy!
Film can be seen on youtube at:
https://youtu.be/2l-RinWUiCU?hd=1
It can be found under: “Schuld / Guilt.”
SCHULD
A film by Michelle Hoogwoud
October 11, 2009
FADE IN:
The entire film is set in black & white.
EXT. ROAD – Afternoon
Close up of feet being dragged.
[Insert: “A film by Michelle Hoogwoud”]
Close up of feet walking & a 2nd set of feet w
alking.
[Insert TITLE]
View of body being dragged, with only half body view of the 2 walking.
