See How She Awakens

  Copyright © 2014 Michelle Graves

  Edited by Rae Green of Word*play by 77peaches

  Cover Art by Syd Gill of Syd Gill Designs

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

  Published by

  Michelle Graves

  Georgia

  Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  This book is available in print and ebook format.

  To my husband, the best friend I’ve ever had, the most incredible man I’ve ever known, thank you for inspiring such greatness. Without you this series would still be clanking around in my head driving me slowly mad. But instead, you believed in me. You’re more incredible than you will ever know!

  To Wendy, as much as I want to make this a long pun…. I won’t. You’ve been with me on this ride from the very first day, shaping my scattered, sentence-fragmented stories into miracles. When I become redundant, you save me from myself. When I leave out the commas, you fix it. And more importantly, when I start doubting myself or the stories, you keep me on track. Your help means more to me than you could possibly ever know, but what I value more is your friendship. You mean the world to me Wendy! I love you to the moon and back woman!

  Ali, my Australian, there are not enough words to tell you what your support, encouragement, and love mean to me. Seriously, when I begin to doubt myself, your faith in me keeps me going. You may think that you don’t do enough, but trust me when I say this…. My books would be NOTHING without you. Eventually I will make it over there and give you a huge hug!!!!! Oh, and have a cuppa and throw some stuff on the Barbie of course!

  Dianne and Charissa… for some reason when I think of one of you, I always think of the other. The two of you have been on this journey with me from day one and to see it through to the end, I can’t even tell you what that means. The chats and phone calls, the love you both show for my books, and the friendship y’all give me…. Well this series wouldn’t be where it is now without your faith in me.

  To my Dauntless Indies family, in this past year I’ve found a home with you ladies. I was sort of drifting out in the world of writing with no direction. You all have given me more support, information, and hope than I can ever repay. I love you women so much! You are the writing family I didn’t even know I wanted, but I’m beyond happy that I’ve found! Thanks to Shawn, one of my most favorite people on this earth, for bringing me in! And seriously Shawn, you are one of the most amazing and caring women I’ve ever had the honor of knowing!

  To my Mafia…. You ladies rock! The support, the pimping, the laughs y’all give me…. I’m so blessed to have you as a street team. If it weren’t for y’all my books would never get out there. Any time I’m at a signing and someone comes up to me and says something about seeing my books being pimped on a site, I know it was y’all. My love for you knows no bounds!!!!!

  To Syd Gill, the most brilliant cover artist in the world. I totally understand you wanting to bite me :D. I deserve it after the hoops I’ve made you jump through for this series. But without you, my series wouldn’t have the glorious face it has now! You’ve breathed visual life into my stories in the most brilliant way! I love you!!!!!! Don’t bite too hard!

  To Rae, you’ve given my words new meaning and transformed what was a good story into a GREAT one. I’m so glad I bumped into you at that signing because you’ve changed my writing in a way that I didn’t know was possible. You get my vision and where I want to go and you help me take the story there. You are truly fantastic!

  And to all of the readers and fans of this series, thank you for sticking with me to the end. These words that rattled around in my head for years found a home with you and for that I am forever grateful. My stories would be nothing without all of you! The messages you send me, the reviews you leave, and you taking your time to read the words I’ve written…. Well let’s just say that this whole experience has been more amazing than I ever could’ve imagined and that’s all because of you! I love you! It is a truth-fact!

  Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo!

  Acknowledgements

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Echoes pulsed in my mind. Disembodied voices threatening the world’s demise pressed against me, but just as they came, they began to fade. In their place a new demon appeared, threatening my tenuous grasp on reality. Taunts of a life unlived filled my mind; a grave remembrance of an unattainable future left to ruin. His voice calls out to me, begging me to leave the void. Why would I go? He was here. If I left, I would lose him again. But then the others appeared anew, washing him away with their promises of the horrors yet to come. I stopped the darkness; the demon is gone. Why won’t they leave?

  “Izzy!” another voice—one I know, but don’t wish to hear—calls to me. The voice of betrayal. “Let me in!”

  Aberto. The one man that knew my world would be ripped from me. He’d done nothing to warn me. He could’ve stopped Kennan from being taken from me. Now what was I? I wasn’t human, not anymore. So what remained? Like a video reel playing out on a loop, the moment repeated itself. The moment everything was ripped from my grasp. Powerless to look away, I watched as Kennan was eviscerated.

  The horror of the moment shifted, becoming reality. Agony lanced through me, igniting every nerve in its trajectory, culminating in a fire that scorched everything daring to stand in its path.

  My soul still felt the echoes of that fire as it burned away all that was left of my humanity. What was I?

  “Izzy!” That voice shouldn’t be here. She should be safe with Ian. No, it was another lie; the echoes trying to trick me. They had to be pushed back. No more! I couldn’t survive the torment. I wanted to be alone, to rest in my isolation.

  “You are not REAL!” I shouted, throwing all of my energy into the dense fog. A shockwave pulsed outward, pushing back all that would threaten to harm me or take me away from him. He was my solace. At
least in the void we could still be together.

  “You know that can’t be,” Kennan’s disembodied voice whispered.

  “Why? You are here now. That is enough.”

  “Would you live the rest of eternity in this place while those you love suffer?” The determination and sorrow in his voice pulled at me, begging me to act.

  His words were a lie. I’d taken the demon with me, absorbed every ounce of darkness into myself. It writhed inside of me, seeking a way out. If I stayed here, everyone was safe.

  “I won’t leave.” A promise I intended to keep.

  “Darkness is on the rise.”

  “The world will burn.”

  “Act now, or all is lost.”

  The blackened figures pressed through my barrier, calling out to me. Blood trails cascaded from every orifice. They were so familiar, the faces of those I’d left behind. But they were all safe; I’d taken the darkness. I’d made them safe. Now I could rest.

  “Think, Izzy! REMEMBER!” Kennan’s voice shouted over the figures.

  “All I remember is you, and you are gone.” Again I pressed outward, shoving the figures back for a time. They would come again; they always did.

  “IZZY!” Aberto’s strained voice pleaded through the fog, sounding further away than ever before. “Please. Allow. Me. To. Help.” Each word was a clipped strain as he pressed against the barrier I’d created to protect myself. He would not reach me.

  The part of his soul that resided within me churned, begging to be reunited with its other half. That would never happen. He’d lied to me, betrayed my trust.

  “LEAVE!” my shout sent a rush of energy that reverberated against the barrier. I could feel him slip further away, and suddenly, I felt very alone.

  “Darkness is on the rise.”

  “More will come.”

  “The world will burn.”

  Madness had begun to sneak in; slowly at first, but it came all the same. What was real? Were these voices from now? Or were they just sent to torment me? Was I in hell? Had the demon drug me down with him?

  “Izzy, don’t stay here! You must leave before it is too late.” Kennan’s voice again. I must be going mad; he was gone. No more would we be together.

  But if it was only madness, wasn’t there a sense of joy to be gained? No more would I feel the weight of the world upon my shoulders. I’d fulfilled the prophecy; I’d fallen. What more could I do?

  “Remember, Izzy! You need to remember! Molly is going to die if you don’t!” Kennan’s anger rose around me, turning the fog a deep crimson.

  “Molly is safe in Chicago.” Simple. I’d made sure of it.

  “No, she has been trying to reach you. Izzy, what must I do to make you understand? If you stay, everything will be lost.”

  “Why can’t Uriel do it? Or one of the Old Ones? I did what was asked! I fell, taking you with me in the process.”

  “Izzy, no more. I’m gone. You can’t remain here. How can I make you understand? I was sent here to help you, but it seems I can’t.” Kennan’s frustration rubbed against my frayed nerves, causing me to sink into myself.

  As the feelings began to fade, the tide of the void swept against me, sending me back to the start. Why do I feel so lost? The void was supposed to be my sanctuary, a respite from the world I’d lost, but the voices leave me alone. Kennan won’t leave me alone. He wasn’t real. He died. Don’t forget, he’s gone. Forever.

  “GO AWAY!” I screamed to the fog, praying the voices would fade. I longed for nothing more than to forget. I was alone; that was enough.

  “Izzy, you can’t remain here. They need you. You must return. You promised me, Izzy. You promised you would live.” Kennan’s voice bounced through the fog, heading straight for my soul.

  “You promised we would have our forever!” My throat felt tight as his voice brought forth all I was trying to forget. My other half—my future—was gone.

  “I did what was necessary to protect you. Don’t let that be for nothing,” Kennan’s voice admonished. “Now live, damn it!”

  “Why would I ever leave when I have you here with me? If I go, I will lose you forever,” I reasoned, my voice barely above a whisper.

  “The world will burn,” a voice called from the fog. I knew they were coming; it always started the same. I’d given all, and still it wasn’t enough.

  “Darkness will prevail.”

  “Act now or all is lost.”

  “You aren’t real!” Sparks ruptured from my center, sending a blinding light outward. I could keep them at bay. Nothing would ever touch me again.

  “Izzy?” A strained voice pressed against my barriers, summoning something in my soul. There was comfort in that voice. Familiarity. A home. No, my home was gone. He’d died. This was the betrayer, the one who’d let my home slip from my fingers.

  “Listen to him, Izzy. Let him in,” Kennan pleaded.

  “I won’t lose you, Kennan.”

  “If you stay, you will lose yourself. This is not where you are called to be. Why can’t you see that?” Kennan’s voice pleaded.

  Whispers echoed through the fog, another familiar voice. A message.

  “Love and sacrifice.” The voice of my home. No, not my home, the other one. The one my soul called to. The stranger in the fog. The memory from long ago.

  “No.” Kennan’s whisper cut through me, more plea than denial. “She’s not ready.”

  “It. Must. Be.” The other one, the one who made me this way, called.

  “Izzy, I must go, and so should you. I can’t remain here. If I do, you will be lost forever.” Kennan’s sadness ripped through me; pain seared a path straight to my center.

  “You aren’t real. You are a phantom, but a phantom is better than nothing. I will stay.” No matter the other voices that hounded me, I would stay for him.

  “And that is why I must go. My heart will be forever yours. Take it and live, Red.” His voice faded and with it he was gone.

  “NO!” I shouted, feeling the loss of him more powerfully than I would if he were a phantom. “NO! He was real. He was here.” The fire began to writhe inside of me, the darkness rolling in waves deep in the pit of my stomach. “No, he can’t be gone. He can’t. No. No. No.” Panic raced through me as the darkness cascaded around me. The fog churned into midnight as the figures promising death and destruction moved ever closer. “No.” A whisper, a plea before all was black.

  Floating, why was I floating? Consciousness slowly trickled in, thrusting me once more into my misery. Where was I? This wasn’t the void. Was I in the dreaming?

  “Izzy,” a pained voice whispered. With the voice came the realization I wasn’t alone, but cradled in strong arms, moving, but where? “Izzy, I beg of you, speak. Are you well?”

  “Who are you?” my voice escaped in a cracked strain.

  “Do you not remember?” Fear laced the man’s voice. As I turned to look at the person carrying me, a flood swept over me. Emotions I’d longed to forget—love, fear, betrayal, truth. My already battered psyche was assaulted by everything I’d been trying to deny.

  “Please let me go.” A choked sob reverberated through my body. “He’s gone. He’s gone forever now. You did that.”

  “Izzy, it is not as simple as you seem to think.”

  Fire coursed through my veins as the man set me down, distancing himself. His demeanor was vastly different from the last time I’d seen him. Aberto. That was his name. He’d protected me, but he’d also lied.

  The Old One will lie, the darkness whispered inside of me. The voice a twisting darkness that seemed to ooze with every syllable. He will betray you once more. Don’t trust him.

  “GO AWAY!” I shouted. The voice was growing stronger. I hadn’t heard it like this in the void. Why had Aberto taken me away from my refuge?

  “I will never leave you again,” Aberto swore. “You may rail against me, vent your rage, tell me to leave a thousand times, but nothing will sway my resolve.” His face transformed, frightening
me. The way he looked at me, as though he wouldn’t be able to survive losing me again, made me want to run. I couldn’t do this. I’d lost everything. “Izzy, I would not survive losing you.”

  As Aberto lowered himself to the ground, he raised his knees, resting his arms across them so his head hung there. Defeat and exhaustion warring with one another.

  He lies, the darkness murmured.

  “STOP!” I screamed, curling in on myself. “GET OUT!” I could feel it churning within me, trying to stretch itself to consume the light left within me. I clawed at my stomach, trying to rip it away.

  “What is this? What has happened?” Aberto rose to move toward me. All emotion washed from his face. This Aberto I remembered well. He was the one that had taught me to soul walk; that taught me my soul was not my own. He was ruthless.

  “You should’ve left me in the void. Now everyone will perish.” Repressed tears swept forth, bringing with them the pain and loss that had been walled up within me for God only knew how long.

  “Why would you think that?” Aberto’s voice softened as he cradled my face in his hands. My eyes looked up to meet his, and I was sure he could see it. The darkness that lingered in the background, pushing me, twisting me into something I never wanted to be.

  “You see it, don’t you?” I pleaded with my eyes. I needed to know I wasn’t imagining it. That this wasn’t some sort of side effect of losing Kennan.

  I’d escaped to the void to deal with everything I’d lost. I thought I’d given enough to the world. I’d given it all. I floated for longer than I could remember. Then the voices had come, bringing with them the sensation that something lurked inside of me. Something that hadn’t been there before. At first, I’d thought I was going mad, that it was all a figment of my imagination. Then, I hoped it to be something that occurred when my soul ripped from my corporeal form; changing forever. Eventually, the truth settled in. I’d somehow absorbed Sonneillon’s darkness into my soul when I destroyed him. I lingered in the void, not just for Kennan, but for the fear of what may happen if I were to ever come out.