Repentance: The Story of Kace Haywood, Page 3

  I walked into Jett’s space to find him sitting at his desk, running his hand through his hair as he looked over some documents in front of him. He looked up at me briefly and nodded a welcome.

  I took the seat in front of his desk and leaned forward so my forearms were resting on my thighs.

  “Forget to put a shirt on?” Jett asked without looking at me.

  “Nah. I just know how much you like it when I walk around shirtless. Really gets your dick twitching.”

  “Ah, so you’re in a better mood now than you were last night,” Jett pointed out. I’d been a drunken ass last night. I chalked it up to another night of living with my friend, the whiskey bottle.

  “Not really,” I admitted. “Just ran into Lyla in the gym. Why does she have access again? It’s kind of hard to move the fuck on with my life if I keep running into her all the time.”

  Jett placed the papers he was looking over on his desk and lifted his gaze to me. With a serious face, he said, “She’s in trouble, Kace. She’s taking a step backward in her life by going back to Kitten’s Castle, so if offering her gym time and a possible place to stay….”

  “Hold up,” I said, raising my hand. “Place to stay?”

  Lyla had been working at the Lafayette Club with Goldie, making a positive change in her life, until she’d decided she didn’t need the help and went back to her old job, stripping at Kitten’s Castle on Bourbon Street.

  Nodding, Jett sat back in his chair and said, “I offered her residence, and she’s considering it since we’re so close to the Quarter here. It would get her back on the right track, and maybe with the girls convincing her, we can get her away from the pole and offer something more substantial for her future. I thought that’s what you wanted.”

  “No,” I lied. “Fuck. I mean, of course I want her to have more, but I was just starting to get past the fact that she wasn’t living under the same roof as me anymore and now she might live here? Fuck, Jett, it’s hard enough as it is, running into her all the time.”

  “Not my problem,” Jett said heartlessly. “Maybe it’s time you grow a pair and face your problems instead of hiding behind them.”

  “Face my problems? You really think I can make a switch like that and decide to let all my sins come to the forefront of my mind and deal with them?” In a menacing tone, I said, “I fucking killed a man, Jett. It’s not like I was beaten as a child or have some kind of drug problem. I physically killed someone with my fists. That’s something you never get over.”

  “You can’t keep living the way you have been. You’re not experiencing what this world has to offer. You sulk around your room, take care of tasks related to your job, and work out. There is nothing else in your life. It’s unhealthy.”

  “And like you have the authority to tell me what’s healthy? Fuck, Jett, you just came out of the hole you were hiding in a couple of months ago. And because of that, you now think you know everything there is to chasing your demons? You know nothing.” I inched closer and pressed my finger on his desk while I spoke. “Until you know what it feels like to be stripped of your life, of everything you’d worked toward, you have no governance over my life. I would appreciate it if you and the girls would just leave me the fuck alone when it comes to my personal life because as far as I’m concerned, I have none and I want to leave it like that.”

  “Kace—”

  “No.” I stood up, not even remembering why I’d come to see him in the first place. “Just stay the fuck out of it. Oh, and thanks for the heads up about Lyla. Looks like I’ll be looking for a new place to stay.”

  “You’re not moving out,” Jett said sternly.

  “You have no control over me. I can do whatever I damn well please, and if I want to move the fuck out, I will. I don’t work at the Lafayette Club anymore. I work for the community center, which requires my attention. It would do me some good to live closer so I can focus on the construction and plans to come.”

  Blowing out a heavy breath, Jett shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “If that’s what you really want to do….”

  “Honestly, I don’t really want to fucking do anything. What I want to do is drink myself into oblivion. It would be so easy to just shoot one up my cranium, be done with this scorching pain that runs through my body every day, but that would be too easy, and I swore I would make my life a living hell. No, my true punishment is living every fucking day on this miserable earth, replaying what I did over and over in my head as a reminder that I’m a monster who deserves nothing more than to be tortured until my dying day.” I took a deep breath and turned toward the door. Before I left, I said over my shoulder, “I’ll be looking for a place as soon as possible. I’ll keep you informed of my search.”

  “Thank you,” Jett said without another word. He knew when not to push me, and after my little drama queen rant, he knew the conversation was over.

  With newfound purpose, I strode to my room to start looking for a new place on my computer. Maybe this was the little freedom, the little change in my life I needed. My days hiding behind Jett’s doors were over. It’d been long enough that no one would be able to tell I was the man who shamed New Orleans. It was time to try to separate myself from the man who’d covered for me and try to justify my existence.

  Chapter Four

  My past…

  A soft hand brushed my chest just as the morning sun peeked through my curtains. My body was stiff, thanks to three rounds and a few choice punches to my ribs from my opponent, but I welcomed the pain and the toll it took on my muscles. It reminded me of another fight I’d won, of another goal I’d accomplished, of the path I was continuing down.

  “Mmm…,” Lindsay moaned as her hand slowly made its way down my chest to my waist. She’d been a late-night pickup at a bar I frequented. She’d been trying to get in my pants for weeks now, and last night, I’d needed to blow some adrenaline and steam. She’d been in the right place at the right time.

  She was fucking hot—I would give her that—and she had huge tits I’d had fun with last night, but she wouldn’t be a forever kind of girl for me, and I didn’t think she saw me as a relationship kind of guy, which I appreciated.

  Her hand started to slip dangerously close to my cock, and I thought about stopping her, but the idea of a morning blow job appealed to me.

  The light touches she was making along my torso, and the way her breasts pressed against my side, made the blood start to pool at the base of my cock. With the final reach, she grabbed a hold of my dick and rubbed it up and down, and that was all it took. I sank into the mattress and let her do her work.

  “Good morning,” she whispered into my neck, kissing my skin.

  “Morning,” I answered gruffly, unable to control the deep timbre of my voice.

  “Were you already awake?” she asked as she propped her naked body up. Her breasts swayed with her movements. It was the little things in life.

  “Just woke up,” I responded, putting my hands behind my head and preparing for what she had in store for me.

  “Good,” she grinned and shifted her body down. I spread my legs so she could set herself up comfortably.

  She gripped my thighs and lowered her breasts so her nipples grazed my cock. I was fully erect within seconds of her little maneuver.

  She continued to slowly graze my dick with her nipples, her hair lightly brushing my thighs. It was a tangled mess but sexy, because I knew my hands were the reason she wasn’t beauty queen perfect this morning. Her makeup was slightly smeared under her eyes, something I could ignore given the fact that she was about to suck me off.

  Not the best fuck I’d ever had given my detachment, but she was hella good, the perfect ease for the ache between my legs.

  “You’re so big,” she complimented me, making me feel uncomfortable. What does a guy say to that? Thank you? I grew it myself? Instead of responding, I grinned like a self-righteous chump.

  Satisfied with how big I was, she crouched and lifted my co
ck with her hands. She brought the tip to her mouth and in one big gulp, practically swallowed me whole.

  I nearly flew off the bed from how deep she took me.

  “Ah fuck,” I groaned as my eyes shut and I sank farther into the mattress.

  She sucked me hard, licked me up and down, and juggled my balls with precision. My hand fell over my face as I let her take charge. It didn’t take long until my legs started to tingle, my gut started to bottom out, and my entire body coiled, ready to explode.

  She tightened her grip on my cock, letting me know she was ready. Her tongue flattened on the underside of my cock, and then she sucked the very tip as she squeezed my balls, and that was it. I pounded into her mouth, and she took me. She took every last inch of me until I was done.

  “Christ,” I shouted, my head flopping on the pillow. I glanced down at her, and there was a satisfied smile on her face. Fuck, I would be proud of myself too if I’d just made someone orgasm like that.

  She crawled up my body and placed her hands on my chest and then rested her chin on her hands. She studied me as I tried to wash away the euphoric look on my face. I tried to act cool around women but after a blow job like that, it was hard not to smile.

  My hands ran up her sides and then back down where I gripped her ass. Her pelvis thrust into mine, letting me know she was wet and wanted some attention as well.

  “Best way to start your day is with an orgasm.” She smiled.

  “You hinting at something?” I snaked my hand around her ass and spread her legs. I felt how wet she was already, which only turned me on again.

  “Oh God, please,” she said, moaning.

  I was never one to only take, so I flipped her on her back and hovered right above her. She spread her legs wide and ran a hand through her hair as if to say she was baffled about what I was about to do to her.

  I trailed my fingers across her chest and around each nipple just as my phone started to ring. I looked over and saw that it was my agent calling. He could wait.

  Her breathing picked up as I played with her nipples. I pinched them hard. I’d found out last night she enjoyed it a little rough, and I wasn’t opposed to making her wishes come true, especially when I found myself fucking her up against my bedroom wall.

  “Kace, please don’t tease me,” she groaned as my phone rang again.

  My agent. What the fuck did he want, and why was he calling me so damn early?

  Once again ignoring the call, I trailed my hand down her stomach. Her hips thrust into the air, encouraging me to move down farther, but I was a man who liked to take his time, to worship a fine body when I had one in front of me, so I didn’t give in to her little demands.

  I grazed her pubic bone, making a guttural groan pop out of her mouth, but I didn’t continue south. Instead, I ran my fingers back up her stomach and was about to suck her breasts when the phone rang again.

  “Son of a bitch,” I spat as I gave her a sorrowful look and grabbed the cell off my nightstand. “This better be fucking good,” I said into the phone, skipping all pleasantries.

  “Kace, have you looked at the news?”

  “No, Dale. I actually have a woman between my legs at the moment, something I’m sure you’re not familiar with.”

  Dale was a good guy but fuck, he had bad timing.

  “You might want to ask her to leave.”

  “Why the fuck would I do that?” I asked as the hairs on the back of my neck started to rise.

  “Please, for the sake of your future, ask her to leave.”

  The tone Dale was using startled me. It was a warning—a warning that I was sure I wasn’t going to like what I was about to hear.

  “Be kind and say you forgot you had a radio interview, but get her out as soon as you can.”

  “Okay,” I said while I cleared my throat.

  “Call me back when she’s gone.”

  I disconnected the call and stared at nothing for a second as my mind raced. What could be so bad that Dale didn’t want anyone in my house when he told me?

  It took about five minutes and ten apologies to get her dressed and out of my house. Surprisingly, she was pretty cool about leaving and not getting off. Maybe she was more easygoing than I’d thought.

  I dialed Dale back while I started pacing the length of my house. There was no way he was going to be delivering good news. It wasn’t possible from the tone of his voice.

  He answered on the second ring. “Is she gone?”

  “Yes. Now tell me what the hell is going on.” I started to visibly shake.

  “You might want to sit down,” Dale warned.

  “Just tell me what the fuck is going on,” I shot back, my patience wearing thin.

  “Kace, I got a call from the federation today. Your drug test was positive.”

  “What?” I practically shouted. “It’s a mistake. What did I test positive for?”

  “Human growth hormone. It’s a banned substance, Kace.”

  “I know it’s a fucking banned substance!” I yelled, running a hand down my face. “This can’t be happening. Dale, I’ve never taken any kind of growth hormone. Someone switched the samples. There is no way I could test positive for HGH.”

  “The Anti-Doping Agency wouldn’t switch. They take their jobs very seriously.”

  “So you think I took steroids, then?” I asked, shocked my agent didn’t believe me.

  “Do you take supplements?” Dale asked, his voice wavering.

  “The only supplements I take are vitamins. I’ve never once done any kind of steroid. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am. Why would I chance it by taking steroids?”

  “I don’t know,” Dale said. “Has Jono changed anything since you’ve been training with him?”

  “No, we’ve been doing the same….” I paused as it hit me. “Holy fuck.”

  “What?” Dale asked.

  Ignoring him, I ran to my kitchen, set the phone down, and rummaged through a cupboard until I pulled down a bottle of supplements Jono had recently given me. He’d told me it was a combination of natural products to help me wake up in the morning and get the best workout I could. He’d claimed the pills were cayenne pepper, green tea, and some kind of other holistic supplements.

  I searched for the ingredients, but the label was blank. What the fuck?

  Dale screamed into the phone, asking me what was going on. I picked up the cell and said, “I’m so fucked.”

  “What is going on?” Dale asked breathlessly.

  “Jono gave me some supplements to wake me up in the morning. I’ve only used them a couple of times, but fuck, Dale. They have to be laced with HGH. It’s the only explanation.”

  “You can’t be fucking serious,” Dale practically growled in the phone. “I knew he was a bad idea. His reputation was tainted for a reason. He couldn’t be trusted. Fuck!”

  “Dale, what does this mean?” I asked, panicking now, not knowing what my future was going to look like, what my future held for me.

  “It’s over,” Dale said flatly.

  “Wait, what?” I asked as I slid down the cabinets of my kitchen and sat on the cold tile floor.

  “You’re banned from competing, Kace. They don’t take substance abuse lightly. It’s over.”

  This could not be happening. Dale was pulling some kind of joke on me; that’s what it had to be. There was no way everything I’d worked toward in my life was coming to an end just when I was getting started, just when I was making a name for myself. This couldn’t be happening.

  “Dale, please tell me you’re kidding.”

  “I wish I was, kid.”

  “Can’t I dispute this?”

  “You won’t be able to prove it wasn’t your fault. Who takes supplements without a label, Kace?” The disappointment in Dale’s voice made my stomach turn over.

  “I trusted him,” I said softly as I sank farther into the cold ground.

  “You can’t trust everyone, Kace.”

  Advice that had come a li
ttle late, I thought, resting my head against the hard oak of the kitchen cabinets. The tightness in my throat constricted my ability to talk, and the throbbing in my head was almost overpowering. A lonesome tear ran down my cheek as the realization hit me that I was done. The one true thing that gave me happiness was over. My boxing days were finished.

  “What’s going to happen?” I asked, not really wanting to hear what Dale had to say.

  “A story is going to run shortly. Your sponsorships are already pulling. You’re cut from the circuit, and your title has been stripped. You’re boxing days are over. I’m sorry, Kace.”

  “I’m sorry, too,” I said right before I ended the call and buried my head in my hands, knowing fully well I’d lost everything I’d ever worked for.

  Chapter Five

  My present…

  “Would you like another?” the bartender asked.

  I pushed my empty glass toward him. “Yeah,” I mumbled, not making eye contact.

  Finding a place in New Orleans to live that wasn’t overpriced or mildewed or infested with rats was proving to be harder than expected. I’d looked over six different options, and none of them came close to what I was looking for.

  Thinking about going back to the hotel where I would be pestered by the girls almost made it tempting enough to shack up next to the local rat’s nest, but I did have my standards. I wasn’t about to trade in the posh life for one that was far below what I was used to. I wasn’t a princess by any means, but fuck, a little hot water would be nice.

  The bar was empty other than two men playing pool off to the side. It was a bar I came to when I wanted to get away from it all. From the nagging of the girls I worked with, the control issues Jett had, and the hustle and bustle of the French Quarter.

  Tourists got annoying quick. Add the fact they were usually drunk and high-risk projectile vomiters, and it was hard for me to enjoy the unique nightlife New Orleans had to offer. Plus, with my past haunting me, I still ran into the occasional know-it-all of the boxing world. Their favorite thing to do was harass me about my past. What little they knew.