Anything Can Be Dangerous
Matt Hults
ANYTHING CAN BE DANGEROUS
by
MATT HULTS
BOOKS of the DEAD
This book is a work of fiction. All characters, events, dialog, and situations in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission except in the case of reprinted excerpts for the purpose of reviews.
For more information, contact: [email protected]
Visit us at: BOOKS of the DEAD
FIRST EDITION
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2011 by Matt Hults
Edited by Matt Hults and James Roy Daley
Photo Credit - Danielle Tunstall
Cover Model - Paige Rohanna Walker
Graphic Design - Cynthia Gould
E-book Design - James Roy Daley
“Anything Can be Dangerous,” copyright 2011. Original for this anthology.
“The Finger,” copyright 2007. First appeared in Undead: Skin and Bones by Permuted Press.
“Feeding Frenzy,” copyright 2007. First appeared in Fried! Fast Food, Slow Death by Graveside Tales.
“Through the Valley of Death” copyright 2011. First appeared in Best New Vampire Tales Volume One by Books of the Dead Press
“Husk (Preview)” copyright 2011.
* * *
Great books from:
BOOKS of the DEAD
BEST NEW ZOMBIE TALES (VOL. 1)
BEST NEW ZOMBIE TALES (VOL. 2)
BEST NEW ZOMBIE TALES (VOL. 3)
CLASSIC VAMPIRE TALES (VOL.1)
BEST NEW VAMPIRE TALES (VOL. 1)
MATT HULTS - HUSK
MATT HULTS - ANYTHING CAN BE DANGEROUS
JAMES ROY DALEY - TERROR TOWN
JAMES ROY DALEY - 13 DROPS OF BLOOD
JAMES ROY DALEY - INTO HELL
JAMES ROY DALEY ~ THE DEAD PARADE
GARY BRANDNER - THE HOWLING
GARY BRANDNER - THE HOWLING II
GARY BRANDNER - THE HOWLING III
PAUL KANE - PAIN CAGES
* * *
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ANYTHING CAN BE DANGEROUS
FEEDING FRENZY
THROUGH THE VALLEY OF DEATH
THE FINGER
PREVIEW: MATT HULTS - HUSK
PREVIEW: GARY BRANDNER’S - THE HOWLING
PREVIEW: GARY BRANDNER’S - THE HOWLING II
PREVIEW: GARY BRANDNER’S - THE HOWLING III
PREVIEW: JAMES ROY DALEY’S - TERROR TOWN
PREVIEW: JAMES ROY DALEY’S - INTO HELL
PREVIEW: PAUL KANE’S - PAIN CAGES
* * *
A word from the publisher:
I wrote an introduction for Matt Hults’ wonderful debut novel HUSK, and made reference to a story he wrote called ‘Anything Can be Dangerous.’ Matt keeps telling me that he loves the intro and that it makes him laugh every time he reads it. At some point it occurred to Matt that he wanted the story I mentioned to be made available, and he asked me to put together a little one-story sampler, selling me on the concept that it would make a great promotional tool for his novel. Being the grumpy old fart that I am I tried to blow Matt off, telling him that I was far too busy to promote his book in any way, shape, or form. I think my exact words were, You promote the stupid thing... I’m tired and drunk; get out of my face. Of course, this didn’t go over too well and he successfully managed to twist my rubber arm and get me to do something intelligent.
I set aside the things I was currently working on, including the paperback version of Husk, along with the upcoming titles Zombie Kong, Living Death Race 2000, Into Hell, Best New Zombie Tales #3, Best New Vampire Tales #1 (paperback), the paperback version of my sophomore novel Terror Town, the ebook version of my first novel The Dead Parade, Best New Werewolf Tales #1, plus the re-release of Gary Brandner’s famous ‘The Howling’ trilogy––book one, two, and three.
When I told Matt I was busy, I’m sure he had no idea what I was talking about, or that I was so busy. But Matt’s one smart cookie, and I’m guessing that upon reading this little note he’ll be able to understand the spot I’m in. He’ll also figure out that a one-story sampler isn’t my style––so what you’re looking at here is a four-story sampler plus a preview for HUSK.
The first story is called Anything Can Be Dangerous. It’s a whole lot of fun and the only place it’s available is right here, inside this collection. Enjoy.
James Roy Daley
* * *
ANYTHING CAN BE DANGEROUS
1.
This must be what a kid with a normal childhood feels like on Christmas morning, Greg Shader thought as he opened the box containing his new laptop computer. He stripped off the shipping tape and tossed the Styrofoam packing material aside, exposing the long sought-after prize waiting inside.
The sleek silver machine was sealed in a clear plastic bag, which gave off the quintessential smell of new electronics when Greg pulled it out of the box, but his childlike smile of delight suddenly melted from his face when he turned it over and spotted the bold red-letter message written across its front side:
WARNING:
PLASTIC BAGS CAN BE DANGEROUS.
He stared at the bag silently, holding it in front of him as if his body had become nothing more than a lifeless mound of sculpted clay.
The label’s warning was followed by the advice that plastic bags should be kept away from babies and children due to the risk of suffocation, and even though Greg understood the obligatory legal nature of the notice, the phrasing of the first sentence triggered an outbreak of goosebumps across his skin.
To anyone else, the linkage of those particular words might’ve seemed normal, maybe even humorous. Greg knew that for every warning label ever made—especially the absurd ones—there was someone who’d done what it cautioned against and lived to sue about it. Consequently, everything needed a warning label these days, or a sign, or a sticker. What unnerved him about this warning, however, was how much it read like something his mother would’ve said when he was a child.
“Anything can be dangerous, Gregory,” she used to tell him, “so never let your guard down for an instant!”
The message on the bag struck him like her words from the grave.
But she was gone. Long gone.
As was her insane mistrust of everyday items.
Discarding his thoughts of the past, he cut through the seal at the top of the bag and unwrapped the computer. Living alone, he had no children or pets to worry about, so he tossed the empty bag on the floor, along with the box and its packing material. Those simple inanimate objects might have represented potentially deadly hazards in his mother’s eyes, but to him they constituted nothing more than trash.
He spent the next hour installing various office-related programs onto the laptop’s hard drive and transferring backup files of his second suspense novel from his out-of-date desktop.
As an unemployed insurance selection specialist turned author, the laptop represented a huge milestone in his new writing career, proving that his dream of being able to tell stories for a living and still pay the bills on time could soon become a reality.
Around four his cell phone rang, and Greg answered using the caller ID glowing on the display. “Hey, Jackass.”
“Ah, man, you changed my title,” Len Moore replied. “What happened to Numb-nuts?”
“Got a new bill collector. What’s up with you, bro?”
“Oh, you know, just reaping the benefits of working at a hospital.”
“Better health insurance?”
“No. Dating nurses. I’ve got a hot lead on two new RN’s down in Peds. I co
uld set up a double if you’re game?”
Greg ran a hand over the stubble on his chin. “Let’s get some details first. What am I walking into?”
“Her name’s Mia, and I’m telling you, bud, this girl has the body of a goddess. You won’t regret it.”
“She isn’t like the last ‘goddess’ you set me up with, is she? You remember, the one who looked more like Zeus than Athena.”
“No, I promise. That was a one-time thing caused by radiation exposure. Won’t happen again.”
Greg laughed. He’d heard that one before. Despite Len’s track record as a matchmaker a date sounded like a good idea, even if it was a blind one. He hadn’t been with a girl for over a month, and the potential for sex was always appealing.
“Okay, I’m in. Where are we meeting?”
Greg took down the address. He still had a number of errands to run before getting ready, so after talking with Len he shutdown the computer and closed it up for the day.
Before leaving the room he collected all the trash from the floor, gathering the computer’s packing supplies into the box for safekeeping, just in case he needed to return it later, thus avoiding any restocking fees.
He found everything but the bag it had been wrapped in.
He stood where he was, looking left and right around the edge of the bed, finding nothing but clean white carpet.
He knelt down and looked under the bed.
Still nothing.
Plastic Bags Can Be Dangerous.
He banished the thought from his mind.
“Thanks a lot, Mom,” he said to the empty room.
He tossed the box onto the bed and went to find his car keys, not giving the mislaid bag another moment of his concern.
2.
Greg got home after one in the morning.
He parked in the driveway of the detached garage then walked to the front of the house to unlock the door, smiling to himself while he strode through the summer night air.
Mia was spectacular. Beyond spectacular. Far better than Len could’ve ever described, because her personality was as intoxicating as her appearance.
And what an appearance: red hair; green eyes; slim body; pert breasts. Greg had always possessed the looks and wit to win the ladies’ attention, but Mia’s charm and beauty had actually made him second guess his ability to entice her. For the first time since high school he’d actually felt awkward around a girl.
They’d started the evening off at a bar on the riverfront, staying only long enough for a quick drink and a round of introductions. After that, they relocated to a racetrack just north of the city, where Len’s cousin was driving in a demolition derby. There were live bands and plenty of food and drinks, but the show’s entire atmosphere reeked of redneck testosterone. Mia hated it, and so did Greg, and their mutual distaste of the event made them instant allies. About twenty minutes into the first melee of eardrum-splitting automotive battle they ducked away and took Greg’s car back to Minneapolis. By then, his initial bout of shyness had passed.
This being their first date, Greg steered clear of movie theaters and bass-booming nightclubs, preferring to find an activity that facilitated one-on-one conversation. They visited several exotic stores uptown, chatting while they window shopped, sharing summaries of their lives and desires. And they got along great. The conversation went so well, in fact, that the busy shops and crowded walkways soon became nothing more than background noise to their words, blurring into static. There were no uncomfortable collisions of interest, no lack of topics. The two of them seemed to fuel each other, keeping the dialogue going.
Their journey took them to a coffee house featuring live jazz, where they got double espressos and huddled together within the crowd, continuing their exchange using both words and body language amid the aroma of java, incense, and pipe tobacco. Around midnight, they ended the evening with a late-night stroll through the Walker Art Garden, where their mouths met on more than one occasion.
Greg had already replayed the entire evening three times in his head, now hoping to hang onto that euphoric sense of delight he’d felt while in Mia’s presence. They’d kissed long and meaningfully before going their separate ways, and he found himself content with the fact they’d not ended up in bed. He knew she was interested in him, there was no doubting that, but she wasn’t easy, and he found that appealing. They had another night planned for tomorrow—today, rather—and the anticipation of seeing her again was an experience of its own.
Greg ascended the front steps to the porch, thumbing through his keys, when he was startled by the sounds of the neighbor kid across the street. The surprise struck him like an icy hand coming down on the back of his neck.
“Damn!” he said, looking over his shoulder.
Ghost pale in the darkness, the young mentally disabled boy sat on the front stoop of his home, gleefully clapping his hands and keening, “Eyeee, Eyeee,” into the night.
Greg shook his head. He’d heard the eight-year-old late at night countless times before, but this particular instance clashed with his upbeat mood and made tonight’s display seem utterly disgusting. Yet again he found himself wondering how the neighbors to either side could stand it, or how the boy’s parents could allow him outside at such a time, especially given his condition. Not that Greg knew what his condition was, precisely. All he’d heard was the local rumor that alcohol had played a part during his mother’s pregnancy.
The boy continued clapping unabated.
“Eyeee, Eyeee.”
The disharmony of that noise had doused Greg’s ability to keep the pleasant memory of his evening with Mia alight, and he hurried to get inside, leaving the boy’s howling at his back.
3.
Despite the late night, Greg awoke early the next morning, just after seven, and the sun was already giving a preview of the glorious day ahead––the kind of day God had probably meant for humanity to enjoy on a regular basis before some asshole invented money. Thankfully, it was Saturday, the one day he allowed himself to take a break from his work.
He got up and made toast and eggs in the kitchen. Eating by the window, he compiled a mental list of possible activities for tonight’s date with Mia, fervent in his mission to recapture the feel of their previous outing. If he played his cards right—
Greg’s train of thought suddenly derailed when he glanced outside and spotted a dead dog in the backyard.
The sight of the hulking gray shape slumped against the side of the garage left him stunned, half a crust of toast still pinched between his teeth. He’d been thinking about the house and yard, about what he needed to do to make the place presentable in case Mia came over later, and that’s when he saw it.
Fur. Ears. Paws. Tail.
He got up and went to investigate.
He wasn’t even halfway across the lawn when he recognized that it was Gracy, his neighbor’s five-year-old German Sheppard.
“Ah, shit,” he whispered to himself.
He glanced to the Jacobsons’ house next door, guessing that Tom and Angela were still fast asleep, probably unaware that the dog was missing. He wondered if he should tell them now, even if it meant waking them up.
His mental debate tapered off when he got closer to the animal and saw the full extent of its condition. The dead canine lay on its back, legs up, jaws open. In life, Gracy had been a healthy, stalwart specimen, but now her emaciated body looked ancient, her skin shrunken tight around her bones as if vacuum-formed to her skeleton.
“What the hell?” Greg muttered. He recalled seeing her playing outside just the other day.
Bright white fangs smiled up at him where the dog’s withered lips had peeled back; her nose had become a fleshless cavern in her skull. Both her eyes were missing, the sockets dark and empty, and Greg’s eggs and toast seemed to come alive in his belly when he noticed the flies that had already begun to explore those twin ovoid cavities.
How on earth was he going to break the news to his neighbors? He didn’t have a cl
ue. Even to him it was obvious that the dog hadn’t died of natural causes, and he found himself fearfully wondering if it had caught some kind of abnormal disease.
As he pondered that thought, he suddenly realized that the green-gray mass of flesh that jutted from the Sheppard’s gaping maw wasn’t a bloated tongue, but rather a distended length of regurgitated intestine.
“Oh, God!”
He retreated to the driveway, away from the corpse, when he caught a glimpse of the garage door in his peripheral vision.
It was open.
He hadn’t opened it last night when he’d come home. And he was pretty damn sure it was closed when he’d arrived.
Collecting himself, he moved to the open doorway and examined the inside. The overhead light bulb remained dark, but the sunlight streaming in over his shoulder easily illuminated the single car space.
There was blood on the floor.
He saw it right away, a red trail of quarter-size droplets leading clear to the back wall, vanishing behind the collection of scrap lumber he kept stacked in the far corner.
He snatched up a long-handled shovel from the tool rack mounted near the main entry but didn’t dare go inside. What if the thing that made the bloody trail was the thing that killed Gracy? Maybe it was a wounded animal, something infected with a germ or virus that caused the ghastly deformities he’d seen on the dog?
He decided that his best bet was to close the door and call animal control.
He was about to back his way to his car, intent on retrieving the automatic control box for the door, when his eyes spotted something protruding from where the crimson stains disappeared behind the wood.
