I get it
do you though
I think I grasp the prinsiple of the thing
oh my God
Addy Walker
how DO you spell principle, Harriet?
is it with an S?
or a C?
you are going to be so sorry that you ever
Maybe we should ask a spelling expert
Maybe we should ask someone who won
that you EVER
a spelling
medal
for spelling the word principle correctly
I only have the one dress
which I pinned the spelling medal on
so you can see the medal every day
The Baby-Sitters Club
Hey Claudia
I know math is really tough for you
but even you should know
that two dollars an hour
for six hours
means we’re at least twelve dollars short
of what should be in the treasury
i know how much twelve is, Kristy
and i didn’t take your stupid money
look
all I’m saying
is that someone that good at hiding candy in her room
probably has a few great places to hide twelve dollars
like maybe in an incredibly ugly macrame wallet with velvet
appliqués
yeah well
at least my dad still lives at home
unlike some people’s dads
unlike your dad
Kristy
Kristy? It’s Mallory
I hope you don’t mind my texting you
I had to get your number from Mary Anne
but she’s not around or something
I guess
I was just wondering if we had a meeting today?
I’ll check with Stacey
Kristy, Mrs. Dawes said that you never showed up on Friday
to babysit the girls
She had to cancel her plans
she’s really upset
What’s going on with you lately?
oh sorry
i probably just couldn’t hear the phone ring when she called
this mansion is sooooo big
Watson’s mansion i mean
I know which mansion you mean
my new dad Watson
who does live with us
Claaaaaudia
Claudia’s not here
i know
i know that
Hey Stacey!
It’s Mallory
do you know if we’re meeting today?
I heard Dawn mention something about it
but for some reason I can’t get a hold of anybody
let me know if this is the right number for you
might be an old number
I made brownie bars so I hope it’s today haha
i mean any time we meet is fine
it’s all fine with me
oh my god and the brownies have sugar in them
I swear to God I wasn’t thinking
I’m really sorry, Stacey
shit
shit
claudia have you seen karen
not lately
i can’t find her
like she’s not in the house
last i saw her
she was borrowing your glue gun to put rhinestones on her
homework like i told her an hour ago
well what have you been doing for the last hour then
i was enamelling
what have YOU been doing for the last hour Stacey
you know i don’t like you guys to watch me take my insulin shots
oh
i didn’t know that’s what we were calling robbie brewster now
CLAUDIA
i cannot believe you
oh my god
by the way did you give mallory my real phone number?
because that is not okay
i got like
thirty texts from her this morning
Nancy Drew
Nancy? Are you coming?
I’ve been waiting by the old oak in the park for almost an hour
with Bess and George
but Bess came back ages ago
I guess maybe you didn’t take your phone with you
anyhow the picnic is here
and I am here too
whenever you get here
no rush!
I miss you
oh Ned
I’m so sorry
but I am so close to figuring out who the jewel thieves are
I think it has something to do with the ghostly figure that
frightened Ms. Martin after the gala
and the twins are pretty sure they saw something out
on the island
what did they see?
oh
could be anything
jewels
or anything
anyhow so it’s really important that I go sailing with them
well
if you really think it will help you solve the mystery
oh absolutely
couldn’t solve it without sailing
just let me know when you get back
maybe I can see you afterwards?
i don’t know if i’ll have reception on the lake
it’s really hard for cell phone signals to cross running water so
yeah I know
hey I love you
byyye
don’t you have anything to say back to me?
Ned you know I can’t talk openly when I’m on a case
we don’t know who’s listening in
right, right
of course
sorry
heyyyyy where are you right now
At home
Why?
do you think you could come get me?
are you tied up again?
i’m just over at the cave
by the old mill
so you’re tied up
in a cave
you know
near the burned-down orphanage
please just answer the question
you should probably bring some scissors with you
for the rope?
there appears to be some rope here, yes
are you tied up with it?
Ned look
it’s really hard for me to text with my hands all tied up like this
so please just stop asking so many questions and
get over here ok
Nancy!
Nancy I can see that’s you
it’s me
Ned
I’m on the other side of the baccarat table
You don’t have to let on that you know me if you’re working
I’m sorry
who is this?
Nancy, I can see that it’s you
You’re just wearing bangs
Please leave me alone
I am a troubled heiress who wants only to play baccarat
and forget her troubles
are you in disguise?
My only disguise are my troubles
is my troubles
Please excuse the English
who’s that man you’re with?
I’m sorry I wanted to follow the kidnappers into the cave, Ned
That’s all right
I really am sorry though
I know
I’m sorry we got tied up again
It’s okay
I’m can’t believe what they did to your face
I had no idea they were so desperate
I know
I really don’t know how we’re going to get out of this one
Me neither
this is worse than when we found out it was George who murdered Bess
God
remember that?
ye
ah I remember
that was horrible
it really was
Atlas Shrugged
happy birthday
Oh, Dag
you remembered
I got you something
you did?
that’s so sweet
I got you the greatest gift one human being can offer
another person
you didn’t have to do that
what is it?
I have achieved something
Oh, gosh
well I made an achievement all by myself and no one can
touch it or sully it with their dirty jealous fingers
and no one can take it away from me
never never never
so
happy birthday
thank you, Dagny
Yes.
You’re welcome.
COMMUNISM
what about Communism?
WATCH OUT FOR IT
all right
IT’S EVERYWHERE
all right
SO WATCH OUT
I will.
do you love me, Hank
really love me, I mean?
I love you, you know
I love the way you run the motor of the world
I love you like a train
Like a what?
it’s the highest and purest form of love there is, Hank
the love of a woman for a train
gosh but I love trains
that little whistle
the knowledge that you could roll merrily over any one of your enemies and crush their thick skulls with your harnessed steel-beasts
those hot little rolls they have in the dining car
do we have any of those rolls left?
I’ll find out
trains trains trains
I do love em
do you know who I just hate
who?
everybody
everybody but us
do you want to come over
right now?
yeah
all right
you know what we should do?
what?
you should just
stay over
and we can go on strike
on strike from what?
on strike from everybody
because fuck em
I don’t know if you noticed this
but my shoulder was naked in my evening gown tonight
I did see that
it was my gown’s only ornament, that naked shoulder
Very nice
well, also the diamond band
that was the other ornament I had on
so the shoulder was naked
but my wrist had diamonds on it
Right
did those diamonds make you think of chains
Chains are so terribly feminine, you know
almost as feminine as a naked shoulder
mm
Guess what
my shoulder is naked right now
Oh
well
underneath my blazer it is naked
both of my shoulders are naked
underneath my blazer
I see
does that make you want to chain them up
I’m awfully sorry
but I have to go to a meeting now
you can chain me up after your meeting then
I’ll think about that
Francisco
Francisco are you awake?
Francisco?
what is it
Francisco, I can’t sleep
I’m sorry
I had a bad dream
the one about the Communists?
I don’t want to talk about it
tell me about the root of money again, Francisco
what time is it?
Come on, Francisco
tell me
I’ll help get you started
“Money is a root of exchange…”
Dag, please
I have to work in the morning
“Paper is a mortgage on wealth that does not exist…”
you don’t even need me to tell you what money is
I like the way that you tell it best
all rightt
all right, I’ll tell you about the root of money
do that voice you do for the looters, ok
do your looters voice
I’ll do my looters voice
k
Fight Club
hey have you seen my work khakis?
I think I might have lost them or something
which is crazy because I had them on yesterday
have you seen them?
its only after we’ve lost everything
that we’re free to do anything
ok yes definitely
you have to lose everything
everything includes pants
pants are a thing, so
no yes
I am super on board with that
like a noun or whatever, pants are
I’m just wondering
specifically
where my pants are
because they are my actual last pair of pants
YOU ARE NOT YOUR PANTS
I know
I AM NOT YOUR PANTS
no I definitely know that
I just need these pants for work
YOU ARE NOT YOUR JOB
I’m not trying to be my job I swear
but we are down to our last forty bucks
I really
we can’t afford to lose this money right now
you are not special
what?
you’re not a fucking snowflake
I know that
I don’t think it’s being a snowflake to want pants
everything is decaying
we’re all just part of the same compost heap
your pants are decaying
my pants are in the compost heap?
well everything is in the compost heap
so you do the fucking math
you do the compost math
fuck the fridge is out again
do you mind calling Jasper sometime today
let him know we need to make an appointment
did you ever think that maybe
your life is just too complete?
is the fridge too complete?
you have to break everything
to make something better
i really don’t think your malaise is the fridge’s fault
it isn’t not the fridge’s fault
only after disaster can we be resurrected
and breaking the fridge
that’s part of your resurrection
our resurrection
we’ve all been raised on TV to believe
that one day we’d all be millionaires
huh
what show was that
and movie gods
I mostly watched scooby doo
I think
and rock stars
gilligan’s island maybe
whatever that show was that was like
it wasn’t the smurfs
but it kind of was the smurfs
but underwater?
they had weird spout noses i remember
but we won’t
and we’re slowly learning that fact
and we’re very, very pissed off
and this is the fridge’s fault
is your life really so empty
that you honestly can’t think of a better way
to spend these moments
god
okay fine
i’ll call jasper
you won’t have to do anything
ive been peeing in your soup
like every day
what?
nothing
fuck you
fuck the fridge
do you own your fridge
or does your fridge own you
it’s not even my fridge
you had this fridge when I moved in