DANA CONSIDERED HERSELF A princess; spoiled by her parents
and armed with a col ege degree in business management,
Dana viewed herself as a prize hire. During col ege, she had worked
part-time in her family’s business, where managers and coworkers alike
treated her with kid gloves. Dana decided she wanted bigger and bet-
ter things and applied for a management trainee position at Lentos.
Dana’s bosses were pleased with her performance during her first
three months and fast-tracked her into a junior manager position. Rather
than being pleased, Dana wondered why she hadn’t been promoted
to manager. After al , she had a degree and worked as hard as any
manager.
When she dealt with those subordinate to her, Dana adopted the
same imperious mannerisms she believed served her well in her par-
ents’ company, which led to multiple run-ins with support staff, includ-
ing one that left a wel -liked receptionist in tears when Dana flew into
a rage because the receptionist routed a call to her just before 5 p.m.
Dana didn’t like staying after 5:00. “She’s scary,” the receptionist told her coworkers during lunch the next day. “She revved from 0 to 100 miles an
hour, just like that!”
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What Every Leader Should Know About Bullying ❚ 203
Soon Dana began snapping at her peers when she thought they got
in her way. Although Lentos emphasized a col aborative, team culture,
Dana viewed herself as a star player and expected her coworkers to rec-
ognize this and defer to her as employees at her family’s business had.
Her Lentos peers began referring to Dana as El Queen.
Coworkers noticed that she regularly texted personal messages on
company time. When Roger showed up at her office for a meeting and
found her texting, he waited politely in the doorway. When she looked
up, he walked in, pointed to her cel , and teasingly asked, “Big date?”
“How dare you!” Dana yel ed, her eyes bulging in outrage.
“Uh, I’m here for our meeting,” said Roger.
“I don’t have time!” And that was it for their meeting.
When Dana completed projects, she expected accolades. When
her managers gave her both positive and constructive feedback,
they soon learned Dana couldn’t take criticism and rationalized any
errors she’d made. In her fifth month, Dana had several run-ins with
another junior manager, Stephanie. Both had brittle personalities and
took offense easily. Both glowered whenever they were in each other’s
presence.
Lentos’s senior management team asked Lanie, a kind-hearted
senior manager tasked with mentoring junior managers, to mediate the
problem. Lanie took Stephanie and then Dana aside. Stephanie told
Lanie that Dana had made unforgiveable comments about her.
“Like what?”
“I don’t remember them al ,” responded Stephanie, “but she yel ed
‘Look, b----, get out of my face’ when I asked her for her department’s
data. I’m okay with someone blowing off steam, but she was out of
control.”
When Lanie took Dana aside, Dana said, “I gave her the data. She
expected me to hold her hand. I don’t baby others and don’t expect
them to baby me.”
Lanie tried counseling Dana. “We hired and promoted you because
we saw promise. I’m hoping you can learn from what’s happened
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204 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY
recently. In my career, I’ve learned you get the treatment from others
that you give them. Your coworkers think you are volatile.”
“That’s their problem,” retorted Dana.
“Is any part of your relationship with Stephanie or other employees
your problem?” asked Lanie.
Dana stiffened; she angrily responded, “I don’t see how, and I don’t
appreciate being talked to like a three-year-old.”
Lanie told the management team that Dana reeked of outrage and
self-righteousness during their meeting. Lentos terminated Dana and
gave her a letter of recommendation that stated the company viewed
her as a promising manager-in-training who would be better suited to a
company with a more aggressive culture.
Shocked by her termination, Dana stormed out of the building. The
next day she cal ed, demanding a meeting with Lentos’s chief execu-
tive officer. She arrived with her attorney and, with her jaw thrust out,
protested that she hadn’t felt supported as a new manager; that her
wanted a more complimentary letter or none at al ; and then threat-
ened that if she didn’t get six months’ severance pay, she’d sue.
“Consider the letter rescinded,” responded the CEO. He then
turned to Dana’s attorney, saying, “Since a lawsuit’s been mentioned,
this meeting is concluded. Here’s our attorney’s phone number, along
with documentation from our investigation into Dana’s last thirty days
with Lentos.”
THREE REASONS LEADERS AVOID CONFRONTING BULLIES
Bullies rip apart an organization’s culture, poison employee morale,
and destroy productivity; nevertheless, leaders shy away from tackling
bullies. What can leaders do if they’re committed to eliminating bul-
lying from their work environment?
Three factors protect and even immunize bullies.
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What Every Leader Should Know About Bullying ❚ 205
Reason #1: Leaders’ Blind Spot
“Leaders have a blind spot concerning bullies,” notes Dr. Gary
Namie, cofounder and director of the internationally known Work-
place Bullying Institute. “Because bullies generally treat senior exec-
utives differently, often doing personal favors for them, leaders reflex-
ively defend them, saying, ‘That’s not the Bob I know.’ Leaders need
to recognize that bullies ingratiate themselves with apple-polishing
behaviors. Everyone else sees the con, but not the leader.”
Reason #2: The Bully Exemption
Although bullies damage morale and productivity in the long run,
they often produce great short-term results. This leads some senior
executives to embrace the bully as a hard-charging, bottom line–
oriented taskmaster, claiming, “Say what you will, he gets results.”
When employees or peers complain about such bullies, their concerns
fall on deaf ears.
Reason #3: Fear—Are They Talking About Me, Too?
Bullies and those having a bad day demonstrate similar behaviors. A
senior manager with his or her own flash temper may wonder, “If this
behavior constitutes bullying, could I also be accused?” Because of the
overlap between bullying and problem behaviors others demonstrate,
many organizations hesitate to enact anti-bullying policies, claiming
it’s too hard to define bullying.
FOUR WAYS LEADERS CAN CREATE A BULLY-FREE
WORK ENVIRONMENT
Because of leaders’ status, no one bullies them, and the chain of com-
mand works aga
inst employees at the lower and middle levels of the
organization, who are unable to voice their concerns directly to senior
executives. Nevertheless, there are ways to solve this problem.
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206 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY
Solution #1: Don’t Ignore the Warning Signs
“Leaders need to be enough in tune with employee morale to rec-
ognize the tell-tale signs that bullying is occurring in their organi-
zations,” advises Namie. When employees raise issues, Namie notes
that all too often, “Leaders fail to appreciate the invaluable feedback
on employee morale their employees provide. Instead, leaders give
bullies impunity, responding, ‘That’s just Bob,’” leaving employees to
realize they need to put up with the bully and shut up.
One of the best tools for obtaining employee feedback is the
360° review, discussed in earlier chapters, which allows employees
and peers to confidentially answer questions that ask how managers,
supervisors, and others treat them.
Solution #2: Create a Bully-Free Work Environment
Leaders set the tone for their organizations. If you’re a leader who
cares, ask yourself these four questions:
1. Do you model respect toward all employees?
2. Do you listen to and address voiced concerns?
3. Do you let all staff know what is and is not acceptable
behavior?
4. Do you encourage open, confidential reporting?
If you haven’t answered “Yes” to all four questions, begin chang-
ing what you’re doing now.
Solution #3: Establish an Anti-Bullying Policy
A well-written anti-bullying policy can help leaders purge unrepen-
tant bullies.
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What Every Leader Should Know About Bullying ❚ 207
Model Anti-Bullying Policy
Former attorney turned HR consultant Richard Birdsall and I
co-authored the fol owing sample policy, which you may use:
Workplace bul ying and harassment can inflict serious harm
upon targeted employees. All employees have the right to be
treated with dignity and respect at work.
Accordingly, it is a violation of [Company] policy to engage
in abusive conduct. No form of harassment will be permitted or
condoned.
Abusive conduct includes acts and/or omissions that a
reasonable person would find abusive, based on the severity,
nature, and frequency of the conduct, including but not limited
to:
Repeated verbal abuse such as the use of derogatory
remarks, insults, and epithets;
Verbal, nonverbal, or physical conduct of a threatening,
intimidating, or humiliating nature;
The sabotage or undermining of an employee’s work perfor-
mance or opportunity for promotion or advancement.
Employees are encouraged to report bul ying behavior
without fear of retaliation. Employees may report harassment
and abusive conduct to any senior manager or member of the
Human Resources team.
Employees engaged in harassment or abusive conduct,
or those who retaliate against an individual for reporting such
al eged behavior, may be subject to disciplinary action up to
and including termination.
Solution #4: Create a Viable Grievance Channel
Fear and the habit of silence allow many bullies to skate under the
radar. When individuals do come forward, they often face increased
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208 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY
retaliatory bullying. Leaders need to create a viable grievance chan-
nel that provides targets with confidentiality and assurance that their
concerns will be addressed. In the model anti-bullying policy, targets
may go to any member of senior management or Human Resources,
which allows them to skirt the chain of command if necessary.
Your Turn: Where Are You Now?
If you are not in a leadership position, imagine what it would be
like to be in one, and answer the fol owing questions accordingly.
1. Have you seen evidence of the bul y blind spot among your
managers, or in yourself? What didn’t you or the manager
see or hear?
2. Have you experienced the bul y exemption where a bul y
was al owed to “get away with murder” because of the
results the bul y or the work group under the bul y pro-
duced? What was the effect? What did management need
to realize about the cost of that bul y exemption?
3. What distinguishes a bul y from another individual who
exhibits problem behaviors?
4. If you’re a leader, how do you plan to get “in tune” with
staff at lower levels to learn what’s going on from their
perspective?
5. What benefits would the model anti-bul ying policy provide
your organization? If you like it, arrange a visit with a senior
executive or human resources professional in your organiza-
tion and offer it to them, free of charge.
6. Does your organization have a viable grievance channel? If
not, what do you propose to do about it?
American Management Association • www.amanet.org
26
WHAT HUMAN RESOURCES
CAN AND SHOULD DO
People always say I didn’t give up my seat because
I was tired, but that isn’t true. . . . No, the only
tired I was, was tired of giving in.
—ROSA PARKS
WHEN HR MANAGER JESS heard supervisor Ray’s voice on the
phone, her heart sank. Ray, a Darth Vader clone, ran through
employees like water. Some he fired; others got so fed up they quit. So
when he told Jess, “I need you to fire Rose,” she groaned. What now?
“Ray, what’s the problem?”
“Ever since Rose was diagnosed with breast cancer, she’s been in
and out of the office for doctors’ appointments.”
“Ray, it’s understandable that she’s missed some work. She has
cancer.”
Steam in his voice, Ray barked his response. “Maybe you HR types
think that’s okay but everyone in my department needs to produce. I
can’t keep someone who can’t work the hours it takes to meet dead-
lines. Rose claims she needs to leave by 5:00, and that’s not how it works
in accounting.”
“What a jerk,” thought Jess, tamping down her irritation. “We went
over this last month. The Americans with Disabilities Act requires us to
accommodate employees with disabilities. Cancer qualifies.”
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210 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY
“Stupid law. Move her to another department. I expect you to take
care of this.” Ray delivered this line like an order.
“Not a bad idea,” thought Jess. “Rose deserves to get away from Ray,
but move her to which department?” Jess knew Rose needed her job
for medical insurance and viewed her work in accounting as a rock on
which she could depend.
“I will take care of it,” thought Jess, “but probably not the way Mr.
Empathy wants.”
“Ray, do you want to come to my office or should I visit you?” she
asked.
“I don’t have a lot of time.”
“I’ll come to you.”
“So, Ray, what’s got you amped up?”
Ray snorted and spoke through thin lips, “An endless series of medical
appointments, more frequently now that she’s got radiation every day.”
“For how long?”
“That’s not the point.”
“And the point is?”
“I need a ful -time employee.”
“You have one. Rose has been and is a great employee. She has
cancer. We need to accommodate her.”
“She was a decent employee. She’s not anymore. Put her some-
where else.”
“I’ll look into that. Meanwhile, I expect you to treat her appropriately.
And we’re going to talk about what that means.”
Ray shot up from his chair. “I don’t have time for this.”
Jess stood and eyed him. “Fine, you choose. Ten minutes with me
now, or two hours of discrimination, anti-harassment, and retaliation
training later.” Ray stormed out.
“Two hours it would be,” thought Jess, knowing Ray would try to get
out of the training by saying he’d already taken it. It clearly hadn’t sunk
in. Ray needed to learn that the law was on Rose’s side. Jess planned to
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What Human Resources Can and Should Do ❚ 211
meet with Rose to reassure her, write up a short memo on the turnover
rate in Ray’s department, advise the CEO, Paul, and provide Ray’s train-
ing herself.
The next morning, at the close of the monthly managers’ meeting,
Paul said, “Jess and Ray, could you two stay a few minutes?”
“So what’s up with you two?” Paul asked.
Ray shot Jess a pointed look. “As I told you, Paul, our hotshot HR guru
isn’t letting me run my department.”
Realizing Ray had already briefed Paul on his side of the story, Jess
knew she needed to think, not skirmish.
“Ms. HR has time to sit in her office singing ‘Kumbaya.’ I’m trying to
keep our company fiscal y on track, and I can’t do that unless account-
ing is ful y staffed.”
“Ray, your department is ful y staffed.”
“Her friend, Rose, has a medical appointment every day,” Ray con-
tinued, as if Jess hadn’t spoken, “and refuses to work overtime, forcing
others to carry her load.”