a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.
—BILLY GRAHAM
PETER, A SLIM, almost handsome man with a receding chin, shrewd
foxlike eyes, and a penchant for expensive suits, considered him-
self a man on the fast track. “I’m in line to be the CEO of my new cor-
poration,” he lied to those who joined him for drinks after work, a group
whose faces changed every six months, given that Peter never kept
“friends” for long.
The truth lay elsewhere. Every one to two years, Peter took a new job.
Once in the new position, he crowed to those he left behind about his
status and the perks he planned to enjoy, but, at his new job, he initial y
adopted a low-key persona.
Peter excel ed at office politics and soon bonded with his immediate
supervisor, Jim, a round-faced, gul ible man. Peter presented a deferen-
tial, obsequious facade to Jim and other senior executives. He learned
their birthdays and the names of their children. He took care to stop in
their offices at least once a week to discover ways in which he could
make himself valuable to them, whether by letting them know what
he’d heard on the office grapevine or by enthusiastical y offering to help
them out in small ways.
If they al owed it, Peter “friended” those higher-ups on Facebook or
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136 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY
attempted to link with them on LinkedIn. If they accepted, he made
sure to notice the groups they connected with, and joined them. When
Peter discovered Jim’s manager, Steve, frequented LinkedIn’s Harvard
Business Review forum, Peter joined this discussion group, and made it
a point to “like” each of Steve’s posts. When another group member
chal enged one of Steve’s posts, Peter launched a resounding defense
of Steve’s presentation.
Peter revealed a less pleasant persona to his peers, showing them
his “claws” if they got in his way. He sneered at their accomplishments
and belittled their abilities. He “forgot” to provide them promised
updates and feigned apologetic misunderstanding of mutual com-
mitments, turning those forced to collaborate with him into nervous
wrecks when deadlines loomed. He took so long to provide coworkers
with requested information that they regretted asking him, and soon
left him alone.
A master of spin, Peter insisted any failure lay at others’ feet, and he
made any who criticized him, cal ing him “slippery” or “deceitful” to Jim,
appear to be paranoid, jealous twits. When Jim mentioned these accu-
sations to Peter “for his own good,” Peter threatened the complaining
coworkers, “Don’t get in my way and don’t cross me again. If you do,
you’ll lose, not me.”
Shape-shifter bullies, as fictionally depicted as Dr. Jekyll and Mr.
Hyde, “kiss up” and “kick down.” They steal credit for others’ efforts
and stab in the back those who get in their way. Their agenda is their
own success, and they work toward it, regardless of the cost to others.
Supervisors or colleagues taken in by their Dr. Jekyll facade or their
flattery soon learn that the shape-shifter’s cooperative approach and
ostensibly admiring gaze can evaporate like the mist on a hot sum-
mer morning.
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Seeing Through the Shape-Shifting Mr. Hyde ❚ 137
REAL-WORLD TACTIC THAT WORKS
You may fall into bully trap #1 if you work with a shape-shifter. It’s
hard to believe that the “nice” person you see masks an evil twin.
You and others tend to give a new colleague the benefit of the doubt,
thinking, “I’ll wait; maybe I’m misreading the situation.”
Once you realize what you’re up against, you face a second bat-
tle, which is how to convince others, particularly those who can do
something about the problem, that the seemingly “great” employee
is creating havoc. When explaining situations like this, we tend to
present our opinion rather than objective facts. This never works, as
those in charge wonder if we’ve reached the right conclusion. We need
to learn how to provide “just the facts” so that others can draw the
example, if you tell your supervisor, “He terrified me,” your super-
visor may wonder if you are exaggerating. Instead, if you provide a
factual accounting of events, you ensure that your supervisor reaches
the correct conclusion. For example, you might say, “He stood over
me while I sat at my desk and screamed I was a detestable b----; then
he shook his fist in my face. Later, the receptionist told me that she
heard him yelling three offices away.”
Don’t Go It Alone, Recruit Support
If you can enlist the support of a human resources professional or a
senior executive, you can employ other approaches, such as a 360°
review or an employee survey, to reveal the shape-shifter’s true nature.
Both strategies provide those who fear the shape-shifter’s “claws” a
confidential method for voicing their concerns.
A 360° review surveys seven to eleven individuals about a man-
ager or professional and asks questions such as “What can you tell me
about how this individual handles conflict?” and “How would you
describe this individual as a leader?” A third party neutrally compiles
the responses, edits out any “singular” comments so that all views
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138 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY
presented are corroborated, and summarizes the results in the review-
er’s own words to protect the anonymity of the participants. Chapter
26 provides additional information detailing what 360° reviews offer
organizations when dealing with bullies.
Ultimately, these “how do we convince the powers-that-be what’s
occurring?” strategies were needed to counter Peter’s shape-shifting
behavior. Peter’s boss, Jim, did not see Peter’s political maneuvers even
when they came straight at him. Although Peter ran over him like a
freight train, Jim always thought the best of everyone and defended
Peter to staff members who saw Peter’s other side.
AFTER JIM SHARED that he had a less-than-solid relationship with Steve
and others in the corporate office because they wanted a “shaker and
mover” type and didn’t value Jim’s “team-building” style, Peter culti-
vated his relationship with Steve. In addition to his LinkedIn efforts, Peter cal ed Steve with pseudo-legitimate questions, each time claiming, “I
wanted to ask Jim but couldn’t find him anywhere.”
Peter also regularly sent Jim entrepreneurial emails, blind copying
Steve. Each email began, “I know you’ve said this isn’t a good time to
launch a new initiative, but here’s a way I think we can increase our
revenue.” Naively, Jim always stopped in Peter’s office when he got one
of these emails, saying, “Peter, any time’s a good time. Let’s flesh this
out.” Soon, Steve q
uestioned whether Jim worked his full forty hours, and
warned others in senior management that they might lose the “up and
coming” idea guy, Peter, if they didn’t “light a fire” under Jim.
Eventual y, Steve cal ed Peter and asked, “Tell me the truth. Does Jim
work ful -time?” Peter said, “I hate to say this because I like the man, but
you can never find him.”
“Does he encourage your ideas?”
“He likes the way things are.”
Two weeks later, Steve fired Jim and named Peter acting supervisor.
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Seeing Through the Shape-Shifting Mr. Hyde ❚ 139
That’s when two of Peter’s former coworkers sought me out. “What
can we do?” they asked. “Jim wasn’t perfect but he was fair and cared
about us. Peter is two-faced, a bully who cares only about himself. He
steals credit for other people’s ideas and he takes out anyone who gets
in his way or dares complain about him.”
“If he becomes the new manager, either we’ll be forced to leave
or he’ll find trumped-up reasons to fire us. We have kids and house
payments, and we can’t afford to take Peter on and lose our jobs.”
I suggested they document the facts and present them to Steve,
The next day they called me and said, “It’s too risky. Peter asked
where we’d gone yesterday for our ‘extended’ lunch hour. He smells
something’s up. We’re going to keep our heads down and our noses
clean.”
I empathized with them, so because I had a LinkedIn connection
with Steve myself, I called him. I explained I had heard of manage-
ment changes in the Anchorage office and wondered if he’d be inter-
ested in a 360° review of any promising candidates. Steve grabbed
hold of the idea, thinking the 360° review results would showcase
Peter’s talents to other senior managers who had questioned giving a
plum management position to the relatively unproven Peter.
Although my company conducts these reviews, I suggested that
Steve’s corporate Human Resources staff conduct the review. I didn’t
want the fact that two employees had consulted with me to be per-
ceived later as creating bias. More important, I worried that if Peter
lost his promotion, he’d try to find out what led to his review and retaliate against the employees who had sought me out.
I told Steve, “If you conduct the review internally, your HR staff
can provide Peter the follow-up coaching he needs to be a success.”
Steve elected to have two managerial candidates reviewed, Peter and
a manager who worked in another branch. The other manager had
been in the company for three years.
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140 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY
PETER HIMSELF SELECTED those to be interviewed and picked neither
of the two individuals who’d visited me. Peter also met with each of his
employees, who cal ed these meetings “pepper sessions,” because
Peter “ground them up.” He acted as if his being named manager was a
“done deal” and explained he’d evaluate each employee on important
criteria such as “al egiance.” When asked to elaborate, Peter explained
he’d always shown loyalty to his supervisors and expected the same
from anyone who wanted to work for him.
Peter added that he believed the HR representative would give him a
detailed accounting of the 360°’s results because she would realize that
he needed specifics to manage effectively.
Morale plummeted. Employees dreaded what might happen if the
company confirmed Peter as manager. As you might expect, the 360°
review revealed Peter’s two faces. Many rated Peter zero on the review’s
zero-to-ten leadership effectiveness scale. Several employees described
Peter’s communications as threatening. Three employees stated that
many would resign were Peter appointed manager.
These results shocked Steve. When he cal ed Peter to let him know he
wouldn’t become manager, Peter announced, “I feel betrayed by you.”
HR warned the new manager she might expect trouble from Peter, but
Peter left for greener pastures.
Your Turn: Where Are You Now?
If you have not encountered a shape-shifter, imagine what it
would be like if you had, and answer the fol owing questions
accordingly.
1. What would you have done if you worked with Peter?
2. Do you work with a shape-shifter?
3. How does your shape-shifter fool others? What warning signs
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Seeing Through the Shape-Shifting Mr. Hyde ❚ 141
do others ignore? What leads them to ignore these warning
signs?
4. How long did it take you to realize you worked with a
shape-shifter?
5. If you worked with a shape-shifter, how did you convince
others to believe your view of him or her?
6. What tactics (Chapter 9) did the shape-shifter use?
7. What traps (Chapter 7) did you or others fall into?
8. How did the shape-shifter’s behavior affect morale and
productivity?
9. How did the shape-shifter’s behavior affect you?
10. How did the person’s behavior affect others?
11. What did you or others do to cope? What worked? What
didn’t?
12. What will you do differently in the future?
13. What advice would you give to someone facing a
shape-shifter?
American Management Association • www.amanet.org
16
PIERCE THE FACADE;
TOPPLE THE NARCISSIST
The small Hitlers are around us every day.
—ROBERT PAYNE
PAULINE INITIALLY IMPRESSED the clinic’s employees with her
“vision” for what the clinic could become and her “I’ve got it all
together” persona, but many grew to despise her.
Even though head nurse Mol y never complained about Pauline’s
treatment of her to other employees, the stories flying across the clinic’s
grapevine made it clear that Pauline had gunned for the popular, highly
respected Mol y from day one. When Mol y resigned ten months before
her planned retirement date, several employees wept. Pauline hadn’t
expected this; she’d thought she’d made it clear that Mol y’s antiquated
ways got in the way of progress.
The other staff members soon saw the truth behind Pauline’s smoke
screen, observing that her arrogance didn’t stem from confidence but
from a conviction that “there is only one way to do things—my way,” and
that her sense of entitlement hid a lack of accomplishment.
Employee after employee gave notice. Without head nurse Mol y to
buffer them, the experienced nurses left first, heading for better positions
in local hospitals and competing medical clinics. Several first tried to talk with Pauline, out of loyalty to the clinic, but were told “Don’t let the door hit you in the rear.”
Those remaining hoped the physicians would notice the continuing
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Pierce the Facade; Topple the Narcissist ❚ 143
exodus and ask questio
ns, not realizing that Pauline had warned them
to expect employee “fal out” as she “cleaned things up.” Pauline herself
conducted exit interviews with departing employees and advised each
of them that if they wanted a good reference, she expected them to
“watch their mouths.” Most did.
When the clinic’s IT manager resigned without notice after suffering
through Pauline’s blistering public attack on his competence, the man-
aging physician contacted Pauline. “He’s from the dark ages in network
technology,” Pauline assured the physician. “I gave him every chance,
but he wasn’t wil ing to grow with us. Here’s the résumé of his replace-
ment; this is a man I trust and what we need to move forward.”
“We heard from two staff members, but couldn’t quite believe, that
you publicly shamed him,” said the managing physician with a worried
frown.
“Of course I didn’t,” insisted Pauline. “Modern leadership emphasizes
being open and transparent. I spoke candidly to him about what we
needed to do to move forward, which was something I wanted every-
one to hear and learn from. Give me the names of those gossips.”
“But . . . ,” stuttered the conflict-averse managing physician.
“If you want me to run a successful practice for you, I need to manage
bad behavior,” Pauline insisted, persuasively. “It’s workplace cancer.”
“If you put it that way.”
“I do,” said Pauline.
The news that the managing physician had given Pauline the names
of the two employees who spoke to him swept through the clinic like a
wildfire.
What Pauline hadn’t told the managing physician was that she
wanted to replace the IT manager with someone she “trusted” to keep
her informed of what the other employees said in emails. Like other
narcissist bul ies, Pauline had an entourage of sycophants and hired
them as soon as possible when she moved to a new company. These
yes-men and women knew how to stroke Pauline’s ego in return for
high-paying positions in which little real work was expected of them,
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144 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY
if they kept Pauline happy. Soon, these toadies occupied key positions
throughout the clinic.
REAL-WORLD TACTICS THAT WORK