The Adventures of Crimson Overcoat: Crimson Overcoat Versus the Yeti King of Leng

ntures of Crimson Overcoat:

  Crimson Overcoat Versus The Yeti King of Leng

  By Luke Monroe

  Copyright 2013 Luke Monroe

  Alexander Valtam, known in certain circles as Crimson Overcoat, was punched in the face by a Yeti. This wasn’t as uncommon an occurrence as it would seem. It didn’t usually happen in the coffee isle between the K-Cups and herbal tea in the local Super Wal-Mart. Moments after the hairy fist connected to his jaw he slammed into a stack of soda cases three aisles over stacked into the logo of the local college.

  Cans flew free of their cases. Arcs of sweet soda showered over displays of holiday themed groceries. Alexander’s tall lanky form stood up amidst the destroyed display. He reached up and massaged his hawkish nose. It was broken again and there was not time to set it. He healed fast, so by the time the Yeti business was dealt with he’d have another layer of character added to his already scared angular face.

  Shoppers began to react to the absurd situation that was unfolding around of them. Some froze in place. Others cowered. Some ran. The Yeti menaced them all. His massive apelike form, covered from head to toe in tough bristled white hair shook massive fists in an impressive threat display. He bellowed curses, threats, and insults in an ancient Himalayan dialect of proto Sanskrit. The sound came out his fang filled maw sounding like a broken subwoofer.

  In Alexander’s experience Yeti never made an appearance in the civilized world for anything other than drunken mayhem. The Yeti King that ruled them was a hideous uncouth monster and more than a little insane. These details ran through Alexander’s mind as he pulled his red raygun from beneath his long crimson coat and started blasting bolts of energy at the giant horned snow ape.

  Sparks and flame burst off of the Yeti’s tough hide. It screamed in pain as Alexander continued to pump bolts of energy into the subhuman monster. It dodged into the soup isle to escape the onslaught, knocking over an end cap display of chips and salsa onto the floor in the process. Shoppers screamed as the simian creature ran down the aisle. It knocked them aside like toys as it tried to escape Alexander and his dreadful raygun.

  Alexander followed the Yeti as it tried to escape. He leapt from the floor to the top of the shelves in the cookie isle to get a better shot at the Yeti. He made diagonal path over the isles on the shelf tops toward the Yeti in a series of quick careful leaps. He took aim at the Yeti only to be struck by a subarctic blast of ice and pressure from the Yeti’s outstretched hands. Magic, Alexander muttered to himself as he was blown off the shelf tops. He landed half frozen on the ground next to the instant mashed potatoes and cornbread stuffing. A bellow of Yeti curses echoed in the air as it celebrated its successful attack.

  Extreme temperatures didn’t affect Alexander like normal people. But the spell that was wrapped around him didn’t know that as it ripped through him trying to freeze him from the inside out. Alexander never gave himself much credit as magician, but he excelled at countermagic. He pulled his frostbitten fingers together and started moving them through a quick succession of complex formations. The air around him rippled as the crude Yeti magic was unwoven. Ice faded to frost and the spell stopped trying to kill him. His pale skin was burnt red from the cold. His raygun lay shattered from the cold in the isle next to him.

  A second spell consisting of clipped phrases of phonetic Chinese was cast by the Yeti. The spell created the odd pressure that Alexander associated with mind controlling magic. More sorcery, thought Alexander. It was simple magic but strong. He could feel the tug of the mental manipulation probing for weakness in his defenses. His multilayered protections guarded him from all but the most technically sound and powerful magic. The Yeti knew his stuff, but not well enough to enchant Alexander.

  The customers nearest the Yeti were not so lucky. Their eyes glazed over. They abandoned their shopping and ran to the Yeti. Alexander followed them trying in vain to disrupt the spell. Heavy magical interference was coming from a portal formed amidst the family sized frozen dinners. The monster was herding the customers through the shimmering circle as quickly as it could.

  Alexander was uncertain of how many mind controlled captives had gone through the portal. He was not going to allow any more to be taken. He pushed his superhuman speed to its limit, flickering into nothing more than a blur. He crashed into the Yeti, digging his fingers between the ribs of the furry monster and pulling him through the portal. Alexander waved a few gestures and words of a Sixteenth Century French spell at the shimmering hole. The baroque spell ripped the magic out of the portal in a gossamer explosion. He lay on the cold stone ground grappling with the Yeti sealed on the far side of the portal with the kidnapped customers.

  Rapid pressure change made Alexander’s ears ring. Wherever they were on the other side of the portal was at an extreme altitude. He pulled himself to his feet only to be sucker punched by a second Yeti. Alexander tumbled across the hard stone ground ass over elbows. His equilibrium was a complete mess. He braced for a follow up blow from the Yeti. Instead he was met with a hail of industrial strength Taser darts. They stuck to his clothes but couldn’t pierce his iron hard skin. He started pulling sparking darts off by the handful.

  A rapid burst of automatic gunfire split the air. Alexander tracked it to a human dressed in makeshift cold gear holding a Kalashnikov rifle near the group from the supermarket. He had the dull glazed eyes that marked him as mind controlled. He pointed the rifle not at Alexander but at the supermarket group.

  The brief pause in the violence gave Alexander a chance to look around. They were standing on a carved stone surface illuminated by powerful halogen work lights. Thick cables ran to various exotic metal rods jammed into the stone. The cables ran to a tent near the stone platform. A gas generator ran power to the tent and lights, and the massive taser darts still sparking at his feet.

  Snow blew through the frozen air. It was well below freezing judging the shivering of the mind controlled supermarket hostages. Two other Yetis besides the raider he had battled in the supermarket stood watch over the scene. A large group of armed human guards stood near the one who had fired his gun. The guns were trained on the hostages, not on Alexander.

  A Yeti spoke to Alexander. One of the humans in the armed group translated.

  “Surrender, sorcerer, or the humans will be killed where they stand,” said the translator.

  Alexander raised his hands over his head. Two of the Yetis moved to him, stripped him to the waste, and hooked a huge collar around his neck and manacles around his hands. A length of chain similar in size to those used to hook anchors to large ships connected the collar and manacles. Another length of chain stretched out in front of him to form a leash. One of the Yetis held the far end of the chain and began to drag him behind the group. They marched across the dark icy plain under guard of the mind controlled humans.

  One of the raider Yetis cast a spell on the captives to keep them from freezing to death during the forced march across the snow covered plateau. Alexander was excluded from the spell and dragged through the freezing weather without cover or comfort. He could resist cold temperatures far below zero without any ill effects, but the biting supernatural cold of this place cut him to the bone.

  Silence save for the savage wind hung over the dark plain. Even the Yetis were quite, their usual crude and boisterous natures eclipsed by the supernatural dread radiated by the plateau around them. Alexander tried to stay focused by scheming a way out of his current mess. Something in the wind tore at his thoughts, replacing them with a cold and cruel despa
ir. The magic of the place was powerful and ancient.

  The snow stopped and the skies cleared as the group of captives and captors slogged through the silent evening. Countless bright stars radiated cold dim light into the black night. Alexander tried to use the nightscape to figure out where they were. The stars were unfamiliar. Each time he tried to get his bearing he had to stop. The odd stars whispered dark promises and blasphemous secrets. Alexander pushed the gibbering madness of the starlight away and continued the cold brutal march.

  The Yetis led the group to a small encampment carved from a cave out of the raw rock of the plateau. The mind controlled slaves both new and old huddled in a pile for warmth. No fire was built to keep out the cold. The Yetis bolted Alexander’s chain to a huge metal fixture built into the wall at the back of the shallow cave. The metal radiated a deep cold magic as the chain locked itself to the bolt.

  All the captives were soon asleep or at least in some passing semblance to it. The Yeti sat near the edge of the cave, drinking sweet strong liquor from large plastic bottles. One of them pulled out an iPod and plugged oversize earbuds into his simian ears.

  Alexander