More Sideways Arithmetic From Wayside School, Page 2
Louis Sachar
“No hints,” said Mrs. Jewls. “It will be a total surprise. We will have the quiz first thing in the morning. But you won’t know which morning until I say, ‘Take out your pencil and paper for the pop quiz.’ ”
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Everybody grumbled and groaned.
“I think surprises are fun,” said Mrs. Jewls.
No one else did.
Suddenly Todd’s eyes lit up. He smiled. “Hold on!” he said. “I just thought of something. It can’t be Friday!”
“What are you talking about?” said Mrs. Jewls.
“You said it will be a surprise, right?” asked Todd.
“Yes,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“Well then,” Todd concluded. “If we haven’t had the test on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, then on Friday we’ll know it’s coming. So it won’t be a surprise!”
Mrs. Jewls thought it over. “I guess you’re right, Todd,” she agreed. “Okay, the quiz won’t be on Friday.”
“Way to go, Todd!” cheered Mac.
Everyone thanked Todd.
Except Joy. “Big deal!” she griped. “So it won’t be on Friday. It still could be on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.”
“It can’t be Thursday!” Bebe exclaimed with delight.
“What do you mean?” asked Mrs. Jewls.
“Well, we know it won’t be on Friday,” said Bebe. “So if the quiz hasn’t popped on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, we’ll know it’s going to pop on Thursday. And so then it won’t be a surprise anymore.”
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Mrs. Jewls scratched her head. “You’re right, Bebe,” she conceded. “The quiz can’t be on Thursday. But that still leaves Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, so you better all study hard this weekend because—”
“It can’t be Wednesday,” interrupted Maurecia. “Because if it hasn’t popped by Tuesday, we’ll know it has to be Wednesday. And then it won’t be a surprise!”
“Wait a second,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Let me think about this.” She rubbed her face. “It can’t be Friday,” she muttered, “so then it can’t be Thursday… .” She rubbed her face harder. “It’s no good if it’s not a surprise. You’re right, Maurecia! Okay, so the quiz will be on Monday or Tuesday. But I still won’t tell you which day. You won’t know until I say, ‘Take out your pencil and paper for the—’ ”
“IT CAN’T BE TUESDAY!” Benjamin, Leslie, and Stephen shouted together.
“If we don’t have it on Monday …” said Benjamin.
“… then we’ll know it’s coming on Tuesday …” said Leslie.
“… and it won’t be a surprise!” said Stephen.
Mrs. Jewls frowned. “All right then, it will be Monday, but you won’t know until — of course you’ll know. I just told you it was Monday!” She shook her head. “Let’s just forget the whole thing. There will be no pop quiz.”
Everybody cheered.
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(So, Mrs. Jewls never gave the quiz. There is no Problem 19. Sorry.)
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Chapter 8
Oh, No!
“It’s time for multiplication,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“Oh no!” shouted Deedee.
“I don’t get it,” complained Todd.
“Today is not my day,” said Benjamin. “I am going to move away.”
“Don’t worry, hon’,” said Mrs. Jewls. “We’ll start with those.”
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PROBLEM 20
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m = ?gggy = ?gggw = ?ggga = ?gggd = ?
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(Clue on page 42. Hint on page 45.)
PROBLEM 21
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z = ?gge = ?ggn = ?ggr = ?ggh = ?ggo = ?
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(Clue on page 42. Hint on page 45.)
PROBLEM 22
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r = ?gggi = ?gggc = ?gggh = ?
g = ?ggge = ?gggn = ?gggt = ?
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(Clue on page 42. Hint on page 45.)
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PROBLEM 23
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h = ?gge = ?gga = ?ggr = ?ggb = ?ggy = ?
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(Clue on page 42. Hint on page 45.)
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(The problems will now get a little bit harder… .)
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Chapter 9
Foreign Language Lesson
Mrs. Jewls taught the class how to say “yes” in three different languages.
Yes in Spanish is sí, which is pronounced like “see.”
Yes in French is oui, which is pronounced like “we.”
Yes in Russian is da, which is pronounced like “da.”
“Does everybody understand?” she asked.
“We,” said Joe.
“See,” said Jason.
“Duh,” said Jenny.
“No, da,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Now I want everyone to write ‘yes’ in another language, and use it in a multiplication problem.”
PROBLEM 24
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i = ?ggd = ?gge = ?gga = ?ggm = ?ggo = ?
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(Clue on page 42. Hint on page 45.)
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PROBLEM 25
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s = ?ggga = ?gggy = ?gggc = ?
o = ?gggi = ?gggn = ?
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(Clue on page 42. Hint on page 45.)
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PROBLEM 26
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i = ?gggd = ?ggg e = ?ggg a = ?
t = ?gggo = ?gggu = ?gggr = ?
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(Clue on page 42. Hint on page 45.)
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(The problems will now get a little harder… .)
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Chapter 10
He, She, We, and Ewe
PROBLEM 27
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h = ?ggga = ?gggy = ?ggge = ?gggs = ?
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PROBLEM 28
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a = ?ggy = ?gge = ?ggw = ?ggi = ?ggs = ?ggh = ?
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(Clue on page 43. Hint on page 45.)
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PROBLEM 29
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w = ?gga = ?ggi = ?ggl = ?gge = ?ggd = ?
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(Clue on page 43. Hint on page 45.)
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Chapter 11
Report Cards
Once again, it was time for Mrs. Jewls to write report cards. It was a job she hated. Instead of giving out grades, she would rather give out hugs.
But at least this time it would be done by computer. She had bought herself a home computer, and throughout the year whenever she graded a test or checked a child’s homework, she entered the results in the computer.
Now all she had to do was run the program, and the computer would instantly print out twenty-nine report cards, complete with teacher’s comments.
She would give the hugs herself.
She sat down at her desk and turned on the machine. Her cat, Monkey Face, sat on her lap and purred.
The computer screen gave her three choices.
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She moved the mouse until the curser came to the box marked REPORT CARDS. She clicked the button.
Monkey Face jumped off her lap, and pounced on the mouse.
“Aaahhh!” screamed
Mrs. Jewls.
The cat’s paws danced crazily over the keyboard as it wrestled with the mouse.
“Get down!” shouted Mrs. Jewls, as she pushed the cat off her desk and onto the floor.
The computer screen looked something like this:
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“Uh-oh,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“Okay, don’t panic,” she told herself. “Stay calm.”
She pressed the Escape key.
A whole new set of strange symbols and numbers appeared on her screen.
She pressed Back Space but nothing happened.
She pressed Enter.
The screen cleared. Then a new message appeared.
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Mrs. Jewls turned the machine off and on. She was beginning to sweat.
To her relief, the original screen appeared.
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She moved the cursor to REPORT CARDS and clicked the mouse.
Her screen looked something like this:
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Mrs. Jewls pressed F1 and the following message appeared.
“What password?” Mrs. Jewls asked out loud.
She typed on the keyboard. “What’s the password?”
“I know that’s not the password,” she muttered. “What is the password?”
She tried, “Apple.”
She tried, “Boat.”
She tried, “Password.”
She tried, “Pig Lips.”
She tried, “If you don’t tell me the password I’m going to cry.”
She tried, “That is not the password.”
The report cards were due tomorrow!
There was only one thing to do. She had no choice. She had to do the report cards the old-fashioned way. By hand. She just hoped she could find all the old tests and stuff.
She jumped in her car and drove to school. She searched through her desk for her old grade book, and any old tests she could find. She dug through the drawers, the closets, and even the trash.
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PROBLEM 30
Mrs. Jewls found four answer sheets from a spelling test crammed in the back of a drawer.
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Jenny
1. rode
2. toad
3. towed
4. road
5. rowed
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Dana
1. road
2. rode
3. towed
4. toad
5. rowed
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Terrence
1. rowed
2. toad
3. towed
4. rode
5. road
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Stephen
1. rode
2. towed
3. toad
4. rowed
5. road
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She remembered that one of them had all five correct. Another student got all five wrong. And she knew Jenny got a better grade than Terrence.
What were the correct answers?
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(Clue on page 43. Hint on page 45.)
PROBLEM 31
Mrs. Jewls found some answer sheets from a bug test on the floor of the closet.
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John
1. earwig
2. octopus
3. no
4. ant
5. uncle
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Joe
1. earwig
2. octopus
3. no
4. ant
5. aunt
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Maurecia
1. earwig
2. spider
3. yes
4. fly
5. aunt
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Joy
1. nosehair
2. spider
3. no
4. fly
5. uncle
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Benjamin
1. nosehair
2. spider
3. no
4. fly
5. aunt
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She remembered that John got a better grade than Joe. She also remembered that Maurecia got a better grade than Joy. And Benjamin only got two correct answers, but she didn’t know which two.
What was the correct answer to each question?
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(Clue on page 43. Hint on page 45.)
PROBLEM 32
In her coat pocket she found some answer sheets for a test she gave on outer space. She remembered Leslie got a better grade than Paul. Paul got a better grade than Dana. And Stephen and Calvin each got the same grade.
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Leslie
1. Jupiter
2. Sun
3. Mars
4. Saturn
5. Pluto
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Paul
1. Jupiter
2. Moon
3. Mars
4. Saturn
5. Pluto
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Dana
1. Neptune
2. Sun
3. Mars
4. Saturn
5. Goofy
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Stephen
1. Neptune
2. Sun
3. Mars
4. Saturn
5. Pluto
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Calvin
1. Neptune
2. Moon
3. Milky Way
4. Earth
5. Goofy
What were the correct answers?
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(Clue on page 43. Hint on page 45.)
PROBLEM 33
Mrs. Jewls had given the class a test on facial expressions. She looked through the children’s desks and found the answer sheets for Jason, Bebe, Calvin, Joy, and Leslie.
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Jason
1. smile
2. smile
3. rub your chin
4. puff out your cheeks
5. raise your eyebrows
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Calvin
1. lick your lips
2. smile
3. rub your chin
4. puff out your cheeks
5. raise your eyebrows
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Bebe
1. lick your lips
2. stick out your tongue
3. grab your ears
4. puff out your cheeks
5. open your mouth real wide
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Joy
1. smile
2. smile
3. rub your chin
4. wink
5. raise your eyebrows
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Leslie
1. smile
2. stick out your tongue
3. bite your index finger
4. grab your ears
5. open your mouth real wide
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Mrs. Jewls knew that Jason missed only one question, but she couldn’t tell which one he missed. Somebody else answered all five questions correctly. Somebody else missed all five. One person got only one right. And she didn’t have a clue about the other person.
What were the correct answers?
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(Clue on page 43. Hint on page 45.)
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PROBLEM 34
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In the trash basket she found five answer sheets from a test on colors. Fortunately, on each answer sheet she had written how many were wrong. Unfortunately Myron’s score was smudged. How many did Myron miss?
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Dana missed two
1. pink
2. purple
3. blue
4. orange
5. yellow
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D.J. missed three
1. red
2. black
3. white
4. green
5. brown
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Dameon missed two
1. pink
2. black
3. purple
4. red
5. yellow
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John missed four
1. brown
2. gray
3. blue
4. red
5. turquoise
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Myron missed
1. brown
2. purple
3. black
4. green
5. yellow
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(Clue on page 43. Hint on page 45.)
PROBLEM 35
She found four answer sheets from a test on flowers. Calvin missed two. Bebe missed two. Deedee missed four. Todd’s grade was smudged. What was Todd’s score?
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Calvin (minus 2)
1. rose
2. violet
3. bluebonnet
4. pansy
5. daffodil
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Bebe (minus 2)
1. daisy
2. petunia
3. bluebonnet
4. forget-me-not
5. chrysanthemum
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Deedee (minus 4)
1. rose
2. petunia
3. bluebonnet
4. pansy
5. chrysanthemum
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Todd
1. daisy
2. violet
3. bluebonnet
4. forget-me-not
5. chrysanthemum
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(Clue on page 43. Hint on page 45.)
PROBLEM 36
Mrs. Jewls found some crumpled answer sheets stuck way at the back of her bottom drawer. They came from a test on “Nations of the World.” Rondi, Allison, Stephen, and Jason missed every question. Benjamin’s paper wasn’t marked.
