Primal

  ONE

  “She’s the chick with the vamp-killing blood?”

  The loud voice pulled me out of a thick cloud of nightmares about pale-skinned monsters with sharp teeth and claws. I opened my eyes wide and stared up at the peeling white paint on the motel room’s ceiling.

  “Yeah, her name’s Jill,” was the reply. Both voices—one familiar and one not—came from outside, and I could hear them clearly through the thin door.

  “So, what are you? Like, her protector or something?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Shit, man. You’re not forgetting you’re half vampire, right? What if you get a taste of her? Will it kill you, too?”

  “I don’t drink blood, so I’m not planning on finding out.”

  I slipped out of the lumpy bed and moved toward the window to the left of the door so I could peek outside. The view was the same as it had been for three days—a very unglamorous gray cement parking lot with a dying twenty-foot-tall palm tree blocking my view of the main street.

  Declan Reyes stood with his back to the green door, his profile clearly visible to me. He’d lost his left eye a long time ago, and the damage was covered by a black eye patch. His face was scarred around that patch from old injuries, just like the rest of his body. Dhampyrs like Declan—half human and half vampire—healed fast, but scarred from every flesh wound they received. They also didn’t have the benefits of immortality like a vampire did. Thanks to his human side, Declan was every bit as mortal as I was.

  He had his arms crossed over his chest, and he faced a darkhaired man only a couple inches short of his six-four. The man looked tough, like a bouncer or a bodyguard.

  Or, more likely, a vampire hunter.

  Declan had said he was going to contact one of his old pals here in Los Angeles to see if he could help us out. This must have been the pal in question. Nice of him to make house calls.

  The idea of anyone else getting involved with my problems didn’t set my mind at ease, but I was trying not to complain. I’d recently become extremely guarded about my privacy. It was safer that way.

  The man’s lips parted to show straight white teeth as he grinned. “Wait. I think I get it. You’re doing her, aren’t you?”

  “Doing her?” Declan replied dryly.

  His smile widened. “Got to say, I’m surprised. Rumor had it that you were . . . uh, how do I put it?”

  “What?”

  “Neutered. Don’t take it the wrong way, but that’s what I heard. That serum you were on before—the shit that kept your vamp side at bay—I heard it fucked with your libido. Always wondered why you were never that interested in hitting the titty bars with me. I guess now I know, right?”

  Declan glared at him without speaking, and I gripped the window ledge, worried that there would be a fight between them. This was one of Declan’s friends? He sounded like a Grade-A asshole, enough to make my skin crawl.

  I actually jumped when Declan laughed a second later. It was a humorless sound.

  “My sex life is none of your fucking business, Jackson.”

  “I’ll take that as an affirmative.” Jackson was laughing, too. “What about the permanent drug you’re on now? Does that—”

  “It works the same as before. Actually, it feels even stronger than the other one. I’m with Jill to keep her safe until we find a way to get the Nightshade formula out of her blood.” Declan’s jaw tensed. “That’s all.”

  “So you’re not fucking her.”

  “It’s none of your damn business either way. But no.”

  Jackson’s shit-eating grin didn’t waver. “But you have. No wonder you’re so into this chick. Memories of a great lay can fuel a guy for a long damn time. I bet she’s hot. When can I meet her?”

  “She’s sleeping.”

  I pushed open the door, leveling my gaze with the nosy hunter I’d already decided to dislike. “I’m awake now. Hard to have an afternoon nap when there’s so much testosterone flying around.”

  “You heard all that?” Jackson scanned the length of me. I’d slept in jeans and a black tank top so I was already fully dressed.

  “I heard enough.”

  He glanced into the room, his gaze stopping at a plastic baby bottle and pile of disposable diapers. “Did I wake the baby?”

  “There’s no baby,” I said, with a sharp look at Declan.

  Jackson frowned. “Just collecting kid paraphernalia in case one suddenly appears out of nowhere?”

  “I was looking after a baby for someone, but Declan took her elsewhere yesterday and won’t tell me where.” I sounded as pissed as I felt. I had a hard time hiding my feelings, especially when it came to the things that were totally out of my control.

  A vampire—a vampire king, actually—named Matthias had asked me to protect his newborn daughter. It was his last request he’d made just before he’d died from drinking my blood.

  He was gone. But the promise I’d made remained.

  The promise that Declan had taken out of my hands.

  “Jill . . .” Declan looked at me out of the corner of his good eye.

  “Am I lying?”

  “It’s better this way.”

  “We’ll have to agree to disagree on that.”

  I did agree that my current life was nowhere a baby should be, and I’d be the first to acknowledge I wasn’t born with strong maternal instincts, but it bothered me that he’d made this choice alone and refused to tell me where she was—only that she was safe and being cared for. Declan believed the baby was in danger and that any vampire who wanted to find her could mentally influence my weak human mind to learn where she was. She was a dhampyr like Declan. Because of that, her infant blood was worth its weight in diamonds to vampires who believed the rumors that it imbued true immortality when consumed.

  Maybe Declan was right to take her somewhere she’d be better looked after than with us, but it didn’t mean I had to like it.

  He was just damn lucky I’d come to trust his judgment about shit like this.

  The vampire hunter extended his hand. “Jackson Gale. Great to meet you, Jill.”

  I glanced at Declan, but his expression was unreadable. Another one of his drug’s side effects, apart from impotence, was keeping my dhampyr traveling companion virtually emotionless. It was a difficult thing to get used to.

  Finally, I grasped Jackson’s hand and shook it. “Charmed, I’m sure. So what’s going on? Or would you like to continue talking about what a great lay I am?”

  Jackson grinned. “Nice.”

  Declan’s expression tensed. “I wish you hadn’t overheard that.”

  “Doesn’t matter.”

  For an emotion-free dhampyr, he now looked a little bit embarrassed.

  “Declan’s filled me in on the Nightshade formula in your blood.” Jackson eyed me. “How do you feel?”

  I paused for a moment, deciding how much I wanted to share with this stranger, then figured what the hell. “I’ve felt better. But I haven’t had any side effects for a few days.”

  “What kind of side effects were you getting before?” He leaned against the wall next to the open motel door. I hadn’t yet stepped outside. I glanced around to make sure nobody but the three of us was within hearing distance.

  “After I was first injected, I got nausea from hell. And lots of pain. Those side effects have leveled off, but this poison will kill me unless I find a way to get it out.”

  “Damn.” He watched me, his brow creased. “Then lucky for you I’m here. I’ve been looking into things, and I know where you need to go.”

  “Where?” I failed to keep the naked eagerness out of my voice.

  “The parachemist who created the Nightshade formula in
the first place—everyone thought he worked alone, but they were wrong.”

  Declan crossed his arms. “He didn’t?”

  Jackson shook his head. “He had a partner a couple years ago, Dr. Victor Reynolds. He works out of a covert research facility on the edge of the city. He wants to meet you—both of you—to see if he can do anything to fix this.” His previously amused expression faded, and I was surprised to see concern now etched there. “Look, I don’t know you, Jill, but I can see that you’ve been through a lot of bad shit. You’re not a part of this world. You shouldn’t have been dragged into it.”

  “You’re right, she shouldn’t have,” Declan said, and we shared a look. I’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time and come between him, his gun, and a man who’d used me as a hostage before injecting me with Nightshade—the only sample of it there was.

  Only a week ago I didn’t know vampires were real. That there was a branch of science that specialized in the paranormal. That a formula could be developed that would make my scent irresistible to vampires, but one taste would turn them into fire and ash. I’d fallen head first down the rabbit hole, and I’d been looking for a way out ever since. Looked like Jackson just might have a map for me.

  While I could never forget everything I’d seen and experienced, I was ready for this roller-coaster ride to be over once and for all.

  “When can I meet Dr. Reynolds?” I asked.

  Jackson looked at each of us in turn. “How does now sound?”

  WE DROVE WITH Jackson forty minutes across Los Angeles to what looked like a small, run-down warehouse on the edge of the city. Declan parked about two hundred yards away from it, shielding the car behind a Dumpster.

  “You’re sure this is the right place?” I asked as I stepped out of the passenger side of the car and warily eyed the unfamiliar location.

  Jackson slammed the rear car door behind him. “Yeah. It’s a secret research facility. Emphasis on the secret part, which is why it doesn’t look like much from up here. It’s all underground. The place goes twenty stories down.”

  “What kind of research do they do here?” Declan asked.

  “What kind do you think?”

  Declan looked at the building. “They keep vampires here?”

  Jackson nodded. “Locked up in the basement. If you’re doing research, you gotta have some guinea pigs at the ready. A few days starved off blood and they make for better test subjects; their vampiric traits can’t be hidden anymore. Saving mankind from the monsters is hard work.” He grinned. “Come on. I promise nobody’s going to get bit.”

  Funny guy. All his flippant comment did was give me second thoughts about this. A shiver went down my arms, and my stomach began to churn. I had to remember that guys like Jackson were used to this sort of thing and could find the humor where I didn’t. Still, things felt off. I didn’t like the prospect of being anywhere where I knew vampires were hanging around, even if it was against their will.

  However, my motivation for getting rid of the Nightshade was strong. I really wanted to live, so I summoned all the courage I could and followed him.

  We walked around to the front of the building, and Jackson pushed open the large front door. There was a security camera mounted up to the left on a ledge to keep an eye on visitors.

  I grabbed Declan’s arm before he went inside. “Can I talk to you?”

  He flicked a glance at Jackson. “Give us a minute.”

  “I’ll wait inside.” Jackson entered the warehouse and closed the door behind him.

  Declan turned to me. “What is it?”

  “You sure you trust this guy?”

  “Yes. I’ve known him ten years—we trained together. He’s always known I’m a dhampyr and he never held it against me like some of the others did. He’s a good guy.”

  I could tell that he meant every word.

  I was quiet for a moment. “You know, he kind of reminds me of somebody.”

  “Who?”

  I raised an eyebrow. “You.”

  Declan snorted humorlessly “You mean, if I wasn’t all scarred up and pumped full of drugs that make me into a robot.”

  I frowned. “Declan—”

  “It’s true, Jill. And I know it. Talking to him earlier—what you overheard. He knows me. He knows that you and I can’t . . .” His jaw tensed. “Not anymore.”

  Declan and I had sex once when he’d briefly gone off his emotion-and-desire-repressing serum for the first time in his adult life. He’d never been with anyone before me, but he’d been a very quick learner.

  I pressed my hands against the hard planes of his chest and looked up at him. “I am willing to give it a shot. You never know what might happen with a little experimentation.”

  He searched my face. “You’re looking for a miracle.”

  I nodded. “Every damn day, actually.”

  “This isn’t one of them. This serum’s permanent.”

  “I don’t believe anything’s ever completely permanent.”

  I went up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his. He didn’t push me away, but he didn’t kiss me back, either. I could taste him, I could feel him, I could touch him. But I couldn’t be with him—not really. It was so frustrating. Sometimes it was difficult not to remember how good it had been between us. It hurt to think it might never happen again.

  For such a tough-looking man, one you might not want to run into in a dark alley, one who looked like he could kill someone with his bare hands—and Declan could—I literally ached for him. But it was an ache that would have to go untended. Like he said, he was like a robot right now—virtually emotionless and without the distraction of lust or desire. Too bad. They were very worthy distractions.

  His gray eye held an edge of regret when I pulled back from him. “I’m sorry, Jill.”

  “Don’t be sorry.”

  “It’s good that we’re here. I knew Jackson could find somebody to help us. Then you can go back to your normal life and forget all about this.” He pushed open the warehouse door and walked through to join Jackson on the other side.

  His message was clear. I could forget about him.

  Because Declan Reyes, dhampyr vampire hunter, one with scars deeper than just physical, a man I couldn’t make love to no matter how much I wanted to, thought he had no place in my regular human life.

  The ache I already felt for him spread to my heart because I knew he was right.

  TWO

  “No guards?” I asked skeptically after entering the cavernous interior of the warehouse.

  “Downstairs,” Jackson replied. “There are security cameras everywhere. Very few people know this place exists, and everyone who works here is screened and background-checked. The elevator only works for those who know the code.” He grinned. “Feel better?”

  I scanned the seemingly empty space. “Not really.”

  “Just chill. It’s fine. This place has been around for years. Follow me.”

  Jackson led us to an elevator that, after he punched in a code that he shared with Declan so he’d know what it was, took us deep below ground.

  Dr. Reynolds was waiting for us at the end of a long hallway in a large white room. He was fiftyish, with fine features and dark hair that was salt-and-pepper at the temples. Wire-framed glasses perched on his nose. With the white coat over his clothes and a stethoscope hanging around his neck, he looked like a family doctor who’d graduated top of his class. This helped ease my mind a little.

  He’d given me a brief medical examination—eyes, mouth, ears all got a check. Heart rate. Blood pressure. He scribbled his findings down on a clipboard before he finally looked up at me. “I can help you, Jill.”

  My heart leapt. It was exactly what I’d been waiting to hear. I wanted to pinch myself to prove this wasn’t just a dream.

  “How can you help her?” Declan asked. He didn’t sound as relieved as I felt. Instead, he sounded wary, suspicious, and not the least bit friendly.

  His query earned h
im a sharp look. “I believe I asked you to leave the room before I started my examination.”

  “I’m not leaving Jill’s side.” Declan stood just out of reach, his arms crossed over his chest. I saw a glint of the silver stake he kept in a sheath on his belt under the edge of his black jacket. He didn’t look directly at me, despite his fierce and protective claim.

  Jackson had left when he’d been asked to. Declan, however, had flatly refused, not budging a step when Dr. Reynolds made the original request. It was fine with me. More than fine. His presence helped to give me extra strength to face whatever the doctor had to say to me.

  Dr. Reynolds’s jaw tightened as he glared at the stubborn vampire hunter. “Declan Reyes. Your reputation precedes you.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “You’re a dhampyr.” It was said through clenched teeth.

  Declan didn’t reply to that, which was confirmation enough.

  “Declan’s with me,” I said, not liking the tension that had been steadily rising in the room. “Whatever you have to say to me, I’m fine with him hearing it, too.”

  “Maybe I’m not fine with that.”

  “Let me guess,” Declan said. “You have a problem with dhampyrs.”

  “Is it that obvious?”

  “Yeah.”

  The doctor’s narrowed eyes flicked to me. “You know dhampyrs are extremely dangerous to humans, don’t you? Perhaps even more so than vampires.”

  I’d heard this song and dance before. I held the gaze of the doctor, whose face had flushed with anger. “Declan’s different.”

  “Have you seen the other kind of dhampyr?” he asked sharply.

  “Yes.” A chill went down my spine. There were two types of dhampyrs, and Declan was the more human type. The other kind were referred to as monster dhampyrs because of their more monstrous appearance and appetites. They were as mindless as they were ravenous, like large, pale, humanoid piranha—sharp teeth, soulless black eyes, and an overwhelming need to feed.

  The stuff of nightmares, actually. I had the sleepless nights to prove it.

  I watched Dr. Reynolds, whose attention was now focused on Declan. There was something there that made me uncomfortable—a willingness to believe the worst. This is what Declan had been putting up with all of his life—people jumping to conclusions about what he was, based on half of his DNA.

  I’d come face-to-face with several hungry vampires since I was first injected with Nightshade. I easily remembered what it felt like to be bit by one of them—the sharp pain as those razor-sharp teeth cut into my flesh. Just because every one of them who had tasted my blood had died a quick and fiery death didn’t make the thought of getting attacked any more pleasant.

  “Declan’s with me,” I said. “And I trust him completely. If you have a problem with that, then we’re going to have to leave.”

  After a few more moments, Dr. Reynolds’s unfriendly and tense expression faded and his brow furrowed. “I apologize for my unprofessional behavior.” He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes, then cleaned the glasses on his sleeve before putting them back on. “My wife, she—she was killed by a dhampyr. It’s colored my objectivity.”

  Immediate empathy surged through me at the thought of anyone facing death at the hands of one of those nightmarish monsters. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry.”

  “So am I.” His jaw tensed and his expression shadowed. “This is neither here nor there. I need to take some samples of your blood now so I can study it.”

  I rolled up my sleeve without argument, happy for the change of subject, and he set to work. He drew in a sharp breath when he first saw the color of my blood. It wasn’t red. It was more of a dark, very dark, crimson.

  “It’s incredible,” he mused aloud.

  Seeing it only made it that much more real. I flicked a glance at Declan before returning my attention to the doctor. “What? Incredible that I’m still standing. Still breathing?”

  A slight smile played at his lips. “I’d be lying if I said no. Yes, it’s incredible that your body has withstood the poison for so long, especially with visible transformations like this. It’s infused your entire being. If it was developed by regular chemistry, there’s little doubt that you wouldn’t have survived this long. However, parachemistry is different.”

  “So you can help her,” Declan said. “For real?”

  Declan’s voice was enough to put a crack in Dr. Reynolds’s pleasant expression. He really didn’t like the dhampyr and wasn’t making much of an effort to hide it. “Yes. I’ll use these samples to create a new serum that will release the Nightshade from your cellular makeup.”

  “Sounds . . . encouraging?” I said, gripping the edges of the examination table. My heart pounded so hard and fast it was difficult to appear calm.

  His expression darkened. “Once we separate the formula from your blood, I think we can cleanse the blood through intensive hemodialysis. Dialysis isn’t normally a painful process, but I should warn you that the separation process likely will be . . . difficult for you.”

  The thought of more pain made me cringe. I’d experienced so much pain since first being injected that it had redefined agony for me. This wasn’t something I’d choose if I had any other option. There weren’t any other options.

  I hadn’t been expecting a magic, sugarcoated pill to cure me. It would have been nice, but this wasn’t a fairy tale.

  I nodded firmly. “Let’s do it.”

  “You’ll stay here during your treatment—the floor above us is where my patients stay. It will be quite comfortable for you.”

  I assumed that the vampire guinea pigs didn’t get the same first-class treatment. “What do you want in return? I don’t suppose this is covered by health insurance.”

  He placed his clipboard under his arm and moved to the other side of the examining table, giving Declan a wide berth. “If there’s any way I can redi