Crackhead

  “Thank you, Sonny,” Margaret said, regaining her composure. “But in your condition, I don’t want you in the streets either. Leave this to me.”

  “No problem. She’s my family, too. You and Laci are all I have left. If I hear anything I’ll let you know.”

  “I appreciate it. You know she’s supposed to go away to school this fall. I’m just so afraid that she’s going to mess everything up for herself.”

  “Don’t worry, Margaret,” Sonny assured her. “We won’t let her end up like me.”

  “I’d die before I let that happen.”

  CHAPTER 16

  That’s What Friends Are For

  QUITA WAS HARDLY surprised the first time Laci called her. Word was getting around about the new fine-ass crackhead hitting the block. Quita knew only one person who fit the description. After Quita and Tonette went to blows, she had lain low for a while putting in work for Dame.

  Laci didn’t really know Quita that well. She’d met her a couple of times when she first started hanging out with the S.B.B. and remembered that Quita was always smiling and nice to her. Not fully a part of the crew, Laci never really found out the truth about Quita and why she’d left, but whenever she saw her around she made sure to say hello.

  Laci made small talk, but Quita knew there was more to her call. Tired of going back and forth, Laci finally asked Quita if she wanted to hang out. She was all too pleased when Quita accepted. She told herself that she just needed someone to talk to and nothing more.

  Quita gave Laci a sisterly hug when she arrived at her house. Laci had never gotten a hug from any one of her so-called homegirls. She thought that she might have finally found a friend.

  “Girl, I was so surprised when you called me,” Quita lied. “It’s been ages.”

  Laci smiled. “I know. I figured I’d see what you were up to. I felt like a change of pace.”

  “I know that’s right,” Quita said, pulling out a bag of weed. “You know I ain’t the judgmental type, but I don’t know what you see in them low-life bitches you run with. Why you think I left?”

  “They’re all right,” Laci said with a shrug.

  “Bullshit. Them some jealous hoes and you know it. Come on, now, Laci. Look at how them bitches treat you. They act all funny ’cause they’re jealous. Tell me I’m wrong,” Quita said, waiting on a response that she never got.

  Laci knew that Quita was right and that everything all boiled down to jealousy. Why else would they always try to tear her down? She had always shown them so much love and they tried to flip the script on her at every turn. Quita was right. Fuck them bitches.

  Quita continued to roll the blunt while Laci silently listened to her bash Tonette and the rest of the crew. Seeing the weed increased Laci’s urge to get high, but she was able to maintain her cool. It was when Quita pulled out the cocaine that almost made her lose it. Being the virgin she was, she would have hated for her first orgasm ever to be right there on Quita’s couch, but the sight of the cocaine made her want to nut all over herself.

  Quita opened the tinfoil and began to slowly sprinkle the powder over the weed. Laci’s mouth literally started to water. Quita finished rolling the joint and lit it. The smell wasn’t quite the same as Laci remembered it, but still very similar. Quita saw the weakness in Laci’s eyes and decided to play on it.

  “I would offer,” Quita said, slowly blowing out the smoke, “but I know you don’t get down.”

  “I’ll hit it,” Laci blurted out.

  “What?” Quita said, pulling her head back to get a good look at Laci.

  “I’ve tried some weed once or twice,” Laci said.

  “Sister girl, this ain’t just weed. This is a woo. I don’t know if you’re ready to get this high.”

  “I’ll try it, just this once,” Laci said with greed in her eyes.

  “Okay,” Quita said, passing the blunt. She made it a point to hold it just out of Laci’s reach so that she’d have to stretch to get it.

  Laci could already taste it. Her hands were shaking as she brought it to her mouth and inhaled deeply. Her hands stopped shaking when the smoke entered her system. She didn’t hear “Cloud Nine” this time, but she felt normal again.

  Quita sat across from Laci, who was now enjoying her high with her eyes closed. She could tell when she first saw Laci that she needed a fix; whether she knew it or not, she had gone past the point of chipping and was developing a full-blown habit.

  Quickly, Quita turned Laci on to the fast track. She taught her that a crack high was cheap, but a coke high was better. Laci alternated whenever the mood struck her.

  She and Quita continued to get higher than high for a whole week straight (even on the day of her high school graduation)—snorting and smoking up anything they could get their hands on. It was to the point where Laci wasn’t even mixing the shit anymore. She was straight-up basing.

  TONETTE AND HER crew were inside Crown Fried Chicken, watching the day go by. Shaunna was sitting on a milk crate complaining about stomach cramps, Crystal was on a pay phone arguing with Dink, and Monique stared out the window. She had been unusually quiet the entire day. Tonette peeped it and wondered what the hell was going on.

  “Anybody seen Laci lately?” Tonette asked, pouring hot sauce on her chicken wings and french fries.

  Crystal, who had just hung up the phone on Dink, replied, “I ain’t seen her since the other day. I was shopping on 145th and I saw her walk past the window. Bitch is probably somewhere getting high,” she said, laughing.

  “You need to quit,” Tonette told her.

  “Stop acting like you wasn’t wit’ it, bitch,” Shaunna said, rolling her eyes at Tonette. “You were the one who set off the whole shit.”

  “Yeah, well, we was all wit’ it the first time,” Tonette said.

  “But you kept the shit up,” Crystal added. “That girl could be really twisted behind that.”

  “Fuck that bitch,” Monique cut in, angry at the whole world right now. “Serves her right for wanting to be so down.”

  “I still don’t think it was cool,” Shaunna said.

  Crystal sighed, taking in Shaunna’s words. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re right.”

  “But you didn’t seem to feel like that when she was all up in Dink’s face,” Tonette reminded Crystal.

  “That called for an ass-whipping, not a fucking addiction,” Crystal snapped.

  “Whatever,” Tonette replied. “What we doin’ tonight?”

  “Shit, this lil’ muthafucka is kicking my ass,” Shaunna said, rubbing her stomach.

  “Ain’t nobody include yo’ ass in the equation,” Tonette teased her.

  “Fuck you,” Shaunna shot back. “When I drop my load, it’s on again.”

  Their exchange was interrupted when Dink and Marco entered the chicken joint. Dink was his usual dapper self, wearing a pair of black Guess jeans and some white and green Fila sneakers. He spotted the girls, walked over, and kissed Crystal on the cheek.

  “What up, ma?” he said with a smile, as if they hadn’t just finished arguing on the phone.

  “Don’t try to be sweet now,” she snapped. “You wasn’t sweet a minute ago on the phone.” Crystal had hung up on Dink because of his stink attitude. He acted as if he had better things to do than to talk to her.

  “Stop acting like that,” Dink said, hugging her. “You know how you like to call when I’m handling business.”

  “Well, since you’re handling business, can I get some money?” Crystal stuck out her hand.

  He sucked his teeth. “Damn.” Dink wasn’t used to Crystal just coming straight out like that and asking for ends. “I ain’t even been in this muthafucka for two minutes and you’re begging.”

  “Don’t try to play me, Dink,” she barked. “I hardly see you anymore, and when I do, you’re distracted.”

  “Look, I ain’t got time for this shit, Crystal. Take this,” he huffed, handing her a fifty. “Holla at me later.” Dink walked away and joined Ma
rco at the counter to place his order.

  “What the fuck I’ma do with this?” she asked loudly enough for Dink to hear her, but he didn’t even bother to turn around. “That’s aiight,” she mumbled. “You ain’t the only nigga handling business.”

  CHAPTER 17

  It Takes Two

  DINK HAD BEEN lenient in how he allowed Dame to run his business. He let him operate independently and wasn’t constantly looking over his shoulder. He trusted Dame with a lot, and he wasn’t handling his shit. It was high time that he put his affairs in order.

  Driving around the turf for hours looking for his soldier turned out to be a bust, but it did produce Laci, and Dink wasn’t mad at that at all. He ran into her in almost the exact same place as before, but this time it was clear to him why she was in the area.

  Dink pulled up beside her, and this time she acknowledged him immediately.

  “What’s the deal, baby? You following me?” Laci asked with a beautiful smile.

  “Maybe,” he said in a flirtatious tone. “Would it be a problem if I was?”

  “Depends on what you’re following me for,” she replied with a wink.

  “I’ll make a note of that, ma. Say, how come I don’t see you over at the house anymore? Fuck you been up to?”

  Laci opened Dink’s car door. She hopped in, wearing a big smile, and said, “Aren’t you the inquisitive one?” Dink would sit there counting her teeth all day if he could. Her smile was just magnetizing. But aside from the smile, Laci was starting to let herself go. The beautiful curly locks that he remembered were no more. She pretty much repped the lazy-do—a pulled-back ponytail that hadn’t even been taken out to be redone in a minute. It was obvious that it had gotten the slick-down hand job by the pieces that were out of place. Laci still wore the classy little name-brand hook-ups, but it looked like she had been to a dozen sleepovers in them.

  Dink scanned Laci, and his face clearly showed his uneasiness with her condition.

  For the most part, she was still cute. Shit, she looked better than most females in the hood did on their best day. But seeing her again only confirmed the rumors. However, that spark he felt the day he met her at Crystal’s house was still there.

  “So, seriously, Laci,” Dink said with sincerity, “what have you really been up to?”

  “Do I look like a book to you?” Laci asked calmly.

  “Huh?” Dink asked, obviously confused.

  “Do I look like a book to you?” Laci changed her profile a couple of times for him to examine.

  “No,” he snickered.

  Laci became serious. “Then stop trying to read me, baby. I’m good.”

  Dink just smiled.

  There was so much Dink wanted to say, but he couldn’t seem to focus. He had so much on his plate that his feelings for Laci seemed secondary. He started to put it off for another time, but if he didn’t say what he wanted to, he might never do it.

  “Laci,” he said looking into her eyes, “I hope I don’t make a fool of myself by saying this, but fuck it.”

  “What? Just say it.”

  “Ever since the time when I saw you at Crystal’s house, I wondered what it would be like to have . . .” Dink started laughing. “Oh, this is some crazy shit. What the fuck am I doing, yo?”

  Dink paused and melted when Laci smiled. Then he manned up. “I’m feeling you, girl, and I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have you as my own.”

  “Your own what?” Laci asked, dumbfounded.

  Dink jerked his head back and gave her a puzzled look.

  “I’m just kidding,” Laci said, smiling again. “I know what you mean.” Laci hadn’t smiled so much since she could remember. No one had ever made her smile like that before. But she’d snuck in that little joke because she really didn’t know how to respond to Dink. His statement had thrown her off. She knew Dink looked at her in a more-than-friendly way, but she thought it was just a physical attraction. She could have easily gotten into him if he hadn’t been Crystal’s man. She wanted to tell him that, but she played it cool. She, too, had so much going on in her life.

  “You probably say that to all the girls, Dink,” she said, continuing to play around. “By the way, how’s ya girl?”

  “I haven’t really been seeing a whole lot of Crystal,” Dink said, hating that Laci spoiled the moment by mentioning her name. “She’s probably got her hands full anyway.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t see too much of her either. I just haven’t been in the mood to hang out with the girls these days. What’s your excuse?”

  “I’m not in the mood for her either.” Dink took a deep breath and stretched. “I’m thinking about moving on.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Yeah. People grow apart, ya know?” Dink paused for a second. “Listen, I know that you and Crystal are friends or whatever, but I don’t believe in wasted opportunities, so enough of talking about her. I’m trying to see about you, ma.”

  “So what they say about you is right, huh?” Laci said in somewhat of a sensual tone. “You do run a good game.” Laci looked down and started picking at her fingernails. “All guys like you do is scam on women. I know your kind,” she said, sucking her teeth.

  Dink was fully animated as he explained himself. “Look at me,” he said lifting Laci’s face by the chin and turning it toward him so that they were eye to eye. “I put this on everything. You’re like this perfect chick out of a movie or some shit. And I’m . . .” Dink searched for the right words. “I’m a hustler, baby. I ain’t go to college or nothin’ like that, and unlike yourself, I don’t plan on going. I know you come from money, went to private schools and all that. I can’t compete with that. But as far as the money part, I’m good. We wouldn’t have to worry about finances.”

  “All of your money is dirty, Dink,” Laci said in a serious tone, still looking him in the eye. “And you and I both know what happens to dirty money.” Laci paused to let him think on it. “It gets washed away. I mean, for real though. You can’t buy a house with it. You can’t even walk into a bank and get an account, so you can’t even save it. Hell, you can’t do shit with your kind of money but burn it on the streets.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” Dink said.

  “How so?”

  Dink licked his lips and leaned in close to Laci. “Don’t you worry your pretty head about that. I got that all figured out,” he said before sitting back in position. “We won’t even have to worry about that.”

  “What’s this we stuff?” Laci asked.

  “Because ain’t no ‘I’ in team, Laci. You and me—us. We could be a team.”

  Laci looked at Dink sideways, shook her head, then looked out the window. “Ain’t no I in team, huh?”

  “That’s what I said.”

  Laci turned back to Dink. “Ain’t no we either.” She let out a chuckle.

  “You keep playing all you want, girl, but I’m for real.”

  “Dink, you have a girlfriend, so the fact that you are sitting here saying all of this, with me knowing you have a girlfriend, lets me know what type of man you really are. No offense, but if you’re doing this type of stuff to Crystal, why should I believe that you ain’t gonna do it to me?”

  “Because I’m being real with you from the jump,” Dink said.

  “But I’m not the one you need to be real with right now—Crystal is,” Laci said. “If you kept shit so real, then she would know how you supposedly feel about me.”

  Dink sighed. “It ain’t no supposed feeling. I’m putting my shit on the line telling you this. And you know it must be real, considering—” Dink caught himself. He almost slipped up and said something that might have hurt Laci’s feelings. He truly didn’t want to take it there. Besides, he wasn’t one to go on rumor alone. He hadn’t heard the shit from Laci, so a part of him still wanted to believe in something other than the obvious. Dink understood that people sometimes went through rough times, and this could be one of those times for Laci.
He would love to be there for her, to see her through—if she’d let him.

  “Fuck it. I see I’m wasting my breath and have probably just made a complete fool out of myself,” he said.

  “Then that’s a good thing,” Laci replied softly. “Means you got love in your heart.”

  “What?” Dink said.

  “They say a person only makes a fool out of themselves for love,” Laci said.

  “Or for money,” Dink said, looking deeply into her eyes.

  Laci turned away and stared out of the window. She felt as though Dink had her numbers and was just waiting for her to yell Bingo!

  “I really dig the way you came at me and all, Dink. But the you and me, and the ‘we’ thing . . . it ain’t a reality. I could never be with you, Dink.”

  “Why? Why not, Laci?”

  Laci fought back tears. “Isn’t it obvious, Dink? You deal drugs and I . . .” she paused. “I’m friends with your girlfriend.” Laci’s thoughts began to race. She wanted so badly to spill the beans to Dink. She needed help, but she bitched up. She just couldn’t.

  “Laci, first of all, I told you that I’m cutting Crystal off. She’s not what I’m looking for and if I’m going to have a woman in my life, it’s gonna be the one I really want. And as far as the drug shit goes, I think I already know what time it is with you, Laci.”

  Laci looked at Dink in shock. She turned away in humiliation as tears flowed down her cheeks. “Guess I do look like a book after all,” Laci sobbed.

  Dink put his hand on her shoulder. He felt so sick inside that she was confirming that shit—just absolutely sick. He gritted his teeth hard to maintain his emotions. He wasn’t tripping over Laci, but he had seen the best of them go down and he refused to watch the same thing happen to her.

  “Did you think I wouldn’t find out, Laci, doing what I do?” Dink said. “I just can’t figure out why and how you got into this.”

  Laci bowed her head in shame. In all her running and having fun, she’d never even considered how many people would find out, simply from word on the street. Dink was one of the biggest narcotics distributors in the Bronx. Laci tried to do her thing outside of her borough, but news always traveled from hood to hood.