The Mutual Admiration Society
Lesley Kagen
PRAISE FOR LESLEY KAGEN
The Mutual Admiration Society
“Lesley Kagen’s latest gem . . . takes readers on a fabulous adventure to discover whether or not a murder has been committed in the local cemetery. With the hilarious Finley sisters at the helm, nothing can go wrong—or can it? Spunky, fun, and entirely charming. Both a mystery and a coming-of-age story that’s sure to delight!”
—Mary Kubica, New York Times bestselling author of Don’t You Cry
“A captivating tale that is woven together with sharp wit and heartbreaking honesty.”
—Heather Gudenkauf, New York Times bestselling author of Missing Pieces
“With its gloriously quirky kid’s-eye view of grief, mental illness, and strange happenings in a nineteen-fifties neighborhood, this heartwarming story is sure to delight fans of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.”
—Barbara Claypole White, bestselling author of The Perfect Son
“Fact: You will fall in love with eleven-year-old Tessie Finley and her sister Birdie. Proof: Lesley Kagen’s novel The Mutual Admiration Society, where Tessie Finley sets out to solve a mystery in true Nancy Drew fashion. Except Nancy Drew was never this funny, and never pulled at your heartstrings like Lesley Kagen’s characters do. This is a novel you will not want to put down, and Kagen is a master storyteller who will keep you hovering between laughing and crying the whole way.”
—Cassie Selleck, bestselling author of The Pecan Man
The Resurrection of Tess Blessing
“How wonderful it is to spend time inside Lesley Kagen’s creative mind. In The Resurrection of Tess Blessing, Kagen deftly illustrates her gift for blending the serious and the funny, the light and the dark. With a touch of magical realism, she once again creates a story that’s as hopeful as it is poignant. As a reader, I feel safe in her hands.”
—Diane Chamberlain, international bestselling author of Pretending to Dance
“Kagen’s talent shines in this wholly original and richly imagined story where unbearable heartache is softened with humor and a touch of magic.”
—Beth Hoffman, New York Times bestselling author of Looking for Me
“Read The Resurrection of Tess Blessing, but don’t read it in public because it’ll yank the emotions out of you. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and by the end you’ll be Tess Blessing’s best friend.”
—Cathy Lamb, bestselling author of What I Remember Most
“Lesley Kagen at her finest, magically weaving together a tale of poignant regrets, powerful aspirations, and forgotten dreams through Tess, a woman who is really a bit of each of us. By traveling this journey with Tess, we are shaken, uplifted and transformed.”
—Pam Jenoff, bestselling author of The Winter Guest
“Confronting her own mortality, Tess Blessing, a lifelong list maker, tackles the only To-Do list that matters: healing fractured relationships, and empowering the children she fears she will leave behind. Poignant, funny, and searingly wise, The Resurrection of Tess Blessing will stay with you long after you turn the last page.”
—Patry Francis, bestselling author of The Orphans of Race Point
“Helmed by the most interesting narrator I’ve read in ages. She and her gifted author, Lesley Kagen, lead us through heartbreaking, humorous, compassionate twists and turns until we find ourselves on the other side, wiser but also, appropriately, resurrected and blessed. It is a journey I was delighted to take.”
—Laurie Frankel, bestselling author of Goodbye for Now
“I was hooked from the get-go. Tess Blessing’s story is quietly inspiring. With faith, hope, grace, and humor she shows us how to keep moving forward in the face of fear, uncertainty, and pain . . . Put one foot in front of the other and call in your oldest friend.”
—Julia Pandl, bestselling author of Memoir of the Sunday Brunch
“Tess’s emotional journey makes for compelling reading . . . a richly detailed, deeply resonant story of a woman of incredible strength.”
—Kirkus Reviews
“Told with abounding humor and wit, The Resurrection of Tess Blessing is an engaging page-turner that women everywhere will relate to . . . an intimate and uplifting character sketch of a middle-aged woman’s life journey, filled with the unexpected twists and turns and sage wisdom that come with the passage of time.”
—Shepherd Express
The Undertaking of Tess
“A tender yet bighearted coming-of-age story filled with heartbreak, secrets, and humorous observations of the convoluted adult world through which two young sisters must navigate.”
—Beth Hoffman, New York Times bestselling author of Looking for Me and Saving CeeCee Honeycutt
“A bittersweet coming-of-age-in-the-fifties story that’ll have you crying one minute and laughing out loud the next. Kagen’s ability to capture children’s deepest emotions never fails to impress.”
—Bonnie Shimko, award-winning author of Stony Lonesome Road
Mare’s Nest
“From page one, Mare’s Nest reached out and grabbed me. A true-to-life tale that is artful and lovely and smart.”
—Lauren Fox, bestselling author of Friends Like Us
“Mare’s Nest is a fascinating and heartfelt look at the intricacies of the mother-daughter bond, along with that often inexplicable, yet oh-so-powerful girl/horse obsession. I couldn’t put it down and neither will you.”
—Theresa Weir, New York Times bestselling author of The Orchard
Good Graces
“A beautifully written story . . . You will weep for and cheer on the O’Malley sisters . . . [and] immediately miss them once the last page is turned.”
—Heather Gudenkauf, New York Times bestselling author of Missing Pieces
“Good Graces deftly dwells in ’60s Milwaukee. Through her preteen narrator, Sally O’Malley, [Kagen] evokes the joys, sorrows and complexities of growing up.”
—Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
“Kagen does a remarkable of balancing the goofiness of being an eleven-year-old with the sinister plot elements, creating a suspenseful yarn that still retains an air of genuine innocence.”
—Publishers Weekly
“For all the praise garnered for Whistling in the Dark, Good Graces more than lives up to its predecessor.”
—School Library Journal
Tomorrow River
OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT AWARD FROM THE WISCONSIN LIBRARY ASSOCIATION
SHELF AWARENESS’S TOP TEN BOOKS OF THE YEAR
“[A] stellar third novel . . . Kagen not only delivers a spellbinding story but also takes a deep look into the mores, values, and shams of a small Southern community in an era of change.”
—Publishers Weekly (Starred Review)
“Packed with warmth, wit, intelligence, images savory enough to taste—and deep dark places that are all the more terrible for being surrounded by so much brightness.”
—Tana French, New York Times bestselling author of The Trespasser
“The first person narration is chirpy, determined and upbeat . . . Shenny steals the show with her brave, funny, and often disturbing patter as she tries to rescue herself and her sister from problems she won’t acknowledge.”
—Mystery Scene Magazine
“The charming genuine voice of Shenny . . . is impossible to resist.”
—Milwaukee Magazine
“An excellent, moving story, very well written, and one that will linger in your thoughts long after you’ve finished it.”
—Historical Novels Review
Land of a Hundred Wonders
GREAT LAKES BOOK AWARD NOMINEE
“Kagen’s winsome second novel offers laughter and bittersweet sigh
s.”
—Publishers Weekly
“A truly enjoyable read from cover to cover . . . Miss Kagen’s moving portrayal of a unique woman finding her way in a time of change will touch your heart.”
—Garth Stein, New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Racing in the Rain
“I’ve been a Lesley Kagen fan ever since I read her beautifully rendered debut, Whistling in the Dark. Set against the backdrop of the small-town south of the 1970s, Land of a Hundred Wonders is by turns sensitive and rowdy, peopled with larger-than-life characters who are sure to make their own tender path into your heart.”
—Joshilyn Jackson, New York Times bestselling author of The Opposite of Everyone
“Gibby hooks the audience from the onset and keeps our empathy throughout . . . Her commentary along with a strong support cast make for a delightful historical regional investigative tale. [Gibby] is a ‘shoe-in’ to gain reader admiration for her can-do lifestyle.”
—Mystery Gazette
Whistling in the Dark
MIDWEST BOOKSELLERS ASSOCIATION CHOICE BOOK AWARD
FINALIST FOR THE GREAT LAKES BOOKSELLER AWARD
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
“Bittersweet and beautifully rendered, Whistling in the Dark is the story of two young sisters and a summer jam-packed with disillusionment and discovery. With the unrelenting optimism that only children could bring . . . these girls triumph. So does Kagen. Whistling in the Dark shines. Don’t miss it.”
—Sara Gruen, New York Times bestselling author of Water for Elephants
“One of the summer’s hot reads.”
—Chicago Tribune
“The loss of innocence can be as dramatic as the loss of a parent or the discovery that what’s perceived to be truth can actually be a big fat lie, as shown in Kagen’s compassionate debut, a coming-of-age thriller set in Milwaukee during the summer of 1959.”
—Publishers Weekly
“Delightful . . . gritty and smart, profane and poetic.”
—Milwaukee Magazine
“Innocently wise and ultimately captivating.”
—Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
“I loved Whistling in the Dark. Living with the O’Malley sisters for the summer is an experience that no one will forget.”
—Flamingnet.com Top Choice Award
“The plot is a humdinger . . . a certifiable Grade A summer read.”
—Capital Times
“Kagen’s debut novel sparkles with charm thanks to 10-year-old narrator Sally O’Malley, who draws readers into the story of her momentous summer in 1959. The author has an uncanny ability to visualize the world as seen by a precocious child in this unforgettable book.”
—Romantic Times Top Pick
OTHER TITLES BY LESLEY KAGEN
The Resurrection of Tess Blessing
The Undertaking of Tess
Mare’s Nest
Good Graces
Tomorrow River
Land of a Hundred Wonders
Whistling in the Dark
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, places, events, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
Text copyright © 2017 by Lesley Kagen
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
Published by Lake Union Publishing, Seattle
www.apub.com
Amazon, the Amazon logo, and Lake Union Publishing are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates.
ISBN-13: 9781503941038
ISBN-10: 1503941035
Cover design by Rachel Adam
For the always and forever loves of my life,
Casey and Riley
Charlie and Hadley
CONTENTS
1 PARTY POOPER
2 COME HELL OR HIGH WATER
3 LIKE A NECK TO COUNT DRACULA
4 THE BUTTINSKY
5 JUST LIKE IDA LUPINO
6 THERE’S NO FART LIKE AN OLD FART
7 LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS
8 UH-OH
9 NO GUTS, NO GORY (NO JOKE)
10 A LITTLE BIRDIE TOLD ME
11 EVERYTHING COPACETIC?
12 THE DEAD MAN’S FLOAT
13 WHY . . . WHY . . . WHY . . . WHY?
14 A TURN FOR THE WORST
15 PROVE IT
16 A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN
17 STATISTICALLY SPEAKING
18 DARING
19 CLOUD NINE
20 O, DIOS MIO, I AM SO MUCHO TEMPTED
21 THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE
22 A STATISTICAL MIRACLE
23 A CONFESSION
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
1
PARTY POOPER
I, Theresa Marie “Tessie” Finley, hereby confess that on the night of October 17th, 1959, instead of keeping my ears to the ground and my eyes peeled for suspicious goings-on in our neighborhood, the way I swore to do on the Holy Bible, I screwed up really bad.
For cripessakes, any president of a blackmail and detecting society worth their salt would’ve at least poked their head outta their bedroom window at 12:07 a.m. to see who was hollering their head off in the cemetery behind their house, “I’m warning you! Watch yourself! You’re treading on dangerous ground!” But what did I do? I acted like some dumb schmoe who doesn’t know the score.
According to Chapter One in what has to be the best book ever written on the subject, Modern Detection, a private investigator is never supposed to “assume” they know something without having proof and they’re also never supposed to “let emotions cloud their judgment.”
But the minute I heard that hollering over at Holy Cross, I’m ashamed to say, instead of really listening to the voice barging through our bedroom window so I could figure out who it was—I am an ace at that sort of thing—I right away “assumed” that it was Mr. Howard Howard, because every once in a while (mostly after he’s been hitting the schnapps bottle), he staggers over to the cemetery in the wee hours to collapse in a heap on his wife’s grave to bawl his eyes out and threaten God that He better give his Mrs. back ASAP or else. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I also let my emotions cloud my judgment, because Mr. Howard Howard and me, we have that in common.
I could be an expert witness on sad madness. If Mr. Perry Mason called me to the stand, I’d step right up, swear to tell the whole truth and nothin’ but, and testify in that court of law how when the missing sadness comes out of nowhere to kick me where it hurts, I’d say and do almost anything to make the pain stop. And how when I start remembering the smell of the Pabst Blue Ribbon beer sloshing around on the bottom of the white motorboat, the cracking sound my father’s head made when it hit the motor, and the taste of the lake water that splashed into my laughing mouth after he fell overboard, I can switch real fast into the off position of God’s and my on-again, off-again relationship, too.
So, when I first heard the yelling in the cemetery, I thought, Give ’em hell, Mister Howard Howard. Let HIM do a little sowing of what HE reaped for once and see how HE likes it, and I went back to doing what I always do in the middle of the night—besides slipping my hand under my sister’s heinie every once in a while to make sure she hadn’t wet the bed, working on my lists, shadowboxing, practicing my impressions, and a couple of sure-fire jokes that I think will get the crowd going—I breathed in deep and got ready to launch into the “Favorite Things” song that I’m going to perform for the talent portion of Miss America someday in honor of my father.
But when a high-pitched scream, also coming out of the cemetery, interrupted “Raindrops on roses . . . ,” a couple of ideas hit me over the head like a “bright copper kettle.” Mister Howard Howard’s voice is much gruffer than the one I’d heard yell, “I’m warning yo
u! Watch yourself! You’re treading on dangerous ground!” And that screeching? Even though it sounded kinda familiar, that couldn’t have belonged to him, neither. That had to have come out of a mouth wearing lipstick.
And thanks to a certain librarian, I knew exactly what I had to do next.
You wouldn’t think by the looks of the gray-eyed brunette that she’d have a brain in her head, but boy, oh, boy, the famous saying that I bet is thrown around the Finney Library on North Ave. more than anywhere else, “You can’t judge a book by its cover,” is so true.
Last month, when that pretty librarian Miss Peshong found me loitering around my favorite aisle, she smiled, nodded at the stack of mysteries in my arms, and said, “Judging by the books you’ve been reading for the Billy the Bookworm contest, Tessie, I’ve been wondering if you’re interested in becoming a real-life Nancy Drew when you grow up.”
Of course, I breathed in deep, smiled back, and told her, “That’s a bright idea. I’ll think about that,” even though it wasn’t and I wouldn’t. The only reason I was interested in reading those books was so I could learn more about doing crimes, not solving them. But I liked that Miss Peshong had given my future some thought and that she always smelled like baby powder even though she didn’t have a baby and she kept a pink lace handkerchief in her blouse sleeve in case a kid accidentally started crying when she saw a dad and his daughter checking books out together, so I felt sorta cruddy about fibbing to her, but only a little, because believe me, honesty is not always the best policy. If I’d told the librarian the truth, which was that I thought her idea stunk up the joint because when I grew up I was going to keep being exactly what I already was—an eavesdropper, liar, shoplifter, cat burglar, poison-pen writer extraordinaire, and top-notch blackmailer—because she goes to Mass at St. Catherine’s Church, the same way most everybody around here does, I’m pretty sure that’d get around the neighborhood in nothing flat.
“Yes. Solving mysteries is an interesting line of work that I think you’d be very well suited for, Tessie,” Miss Peshong said with a wink as she pulled a thick, black book with gold writing off the shelf I was standing next to. “Perhaps this will help set you on your path.”
