8 Short Free Stories, Page 2

  James, the other businessman looked over from all of the TV’s displaying wall-street ticker information.

  "Is old Rusty here giving you trouble Joe?" James asked Joe putting his arm on Joe's shoulder and leaning on him.

  Rusty looked up at Joe in his eyes and Joe winced.

  "Rusty, I'm docking your pay for this shitty job you did on the floor," James said smirking as he raised his cup of coffee to his lips.

  Joe spoke out inadvertently in outrage, "But you can see your face on the floor for god sakes!" Rusty complained.

  James spit out his coffee spill all over the floor to his right. "What!! Did you just talk back to an executive?" he asked Rusty with a tone of disbelief and joy.

  Rusty looked over at the coffee and then back at James. In a shrill voice he replied, "I did."

  "Clean that shit up! If you talk back again, I will fire you!" James said delightedly storming off practically prancing as he walked.

  Joe looked at his old best friend with his big blue eyes full of pity, then he walked after his new best friend.

  Rusty cleaned up the mess then headed into the lunchroom to clock out.

  As Rusty entered the lunchroom the executives were all sitting at their little table and Joe was among them. Rusty went to sit down at the table and Carl, the CIO tapped the table twice and pointed to the sign. Rusty looked over to the sign, "Executives only."

  He walked over to the staff side of the lunch room and watched the TV, wall-street was on. He watched the various stocks in particular he was waiting for the one ticker that held all his stocks. About a year ago he'd put his life savings of 50,000 dollars into a small calculator company that sounded more like a laundry detergent company. The company had just started and the share cost 28 dollars for each. Without a TV, he could really only monitor his life savings from his work. He hadn't had a chance to check it for a few months because of the three jobs he worked. He was going to send his kids to school. Now he just needed to find the ticker.

  Apparently he'd been in a daze thinking about his stocks as James came up and was examining his lunch.

  "Do you honestly have brandy in your lunch bag?" James asked.

  Rusty looked at what James was pointing to. There was a bottle of brandy sticking out of his lunch bag now. It had been inserted with some haste and had torn the brown paper bag around it.

  "You see this guys?" James called out to get the attention of the lunchroom.

  Rusty began to sink down into his chair.

  "Rusty here snuck some brandy into work," James called out. The crowds of workers in the giant lunch room gasped. Everyone knew what that meant and most everyone knew Rusty.

  "What do we do with people who drink on the job?" James called out.

  Joe came up and tapped James on the shoulder he started a conversation with a whisper that briefly turned into a, "Please don't," for just a moment.

  James let loose a barely audible "Or you can join him at the soup kitchen." He turned back to face Rusty.

  "You're fired," James said to Rusty.

  Rusty felt like he was stabbed in the heart. He'd worked at this company for 20 years. He couldn't fight back the tears and let loose an audible sob.

  "Are you going to cry? Sorry we only take professionals here," James said smirking unaware of the fist about to make contact with his jaw.

  James fell to the floor twitching and he looked up at who did it. "Consider that my resignation," Joe said with audible satisfaction in his voice.

  "Mother fucker, I'll sue you!" James yelled.

  "Go ahead and try, but your lead attorney just resigned," Joe said.

  Rusty looked over at his friend Joe and couldn't resist the urge to put out his hand for a shake.

  Joe ignored his hand and just gave him a big hug.

  "Do you remember the old handshake?" Joe asked.

  Rusty smiled and coughed up mucus and put it on his hand.

  Joe in his suit and tie did the same and they shook hands just like old times.

  "Get the hell out of here before I call security!" James screamed.

  Rusty and Joe walked toward the cafeteria door when Rusty remembered.

  "Let's me check my ticker fast and we'll go get a drink," Rusty said.

  "The place we went when you turned twenty one?" asked Joe.

  Rusty didn't reply. His jaw seemed to be hanging on it's hinges.

  "Whoa, are you OK buddy? What's your ticker?" Joe asked.

  Rusty turned around smiling, "MFST."

  "Microsoft!" Joe yelled realizing it was worth over a hundred dollars a share.

  "My kids are going to school!" Rusty said and jumped into the air with glee.

  "I'll drink to that!" Joe said and the two best friends walked out of the lunchroom. The doors swung back and forth behind them and the lunchroom was left eerily quiet as James got back up and sat down at his table. Every eye was on him, but he didn't say a word.

 

  6. Of Nerds and Heroes

  At Comicon 2015, Carl Spotted the girl of his dreams, Crassandra. She was his favorite actress from his favorite movie.

  "I am your biggest fan," the pimple faced fan boy Carl had said.

  "Oh really? How are you so sure?" asked the Sci-fi diva rolling her eyes.

  "Well, I thought you'd want me to buy you a drink before I answered that one," the fan boy said.

  The Sci-fi diva felt the vomit coming from the bottom of her throat to the edge of her mouth.

  She turned away to vomit and all of a sudden a man dressed in a bear suit grabbed her arm and yanked her away.

  The security guards began to react as full grown men dressed as clowns each began a fight with a security guard. There were two clowns to one security guard so they were hopelessly outnumbered as the man in a bear suit carried away the sci-fi actress. The same actress in Carl's favorite movie, Slug Bound Space Princesses.

  Carl knew someone had to do something. In particular, he had to do something.

  In his pocket he had a squirt gun that looked real, some lint and a bouncy ball.

  A ninja, must adapt to the situation, Carl thought as he grabbed the squirt gun in his pants and ran after the bear. The bear had gone into the elevator with the kidnapped actress and Carl put his hand in the door which caused the doors to reopen.

  "You have done the unbearable crime of taking my princess," Carl said.

  The bear just stood there for a second before saying, "Are you serious? That was the lamest line ever."

  "It's time to die!" Carl said and he held out the squirt gun at the bear.

  The man in the bear outfit saw it and said, "Look, put the gun down, let's talk this over. You might be in the position to make a lot of money,"

  Carl said, "I don't consult with terrorists, the girl now," and his voice cracked.

  The bear pushed the girl at Carl and threw a punch at Carl that hit the elevator dash board. His hand smashed the framework and the elevator began to go down. He swung again and Carl narrowly ducked and the bears hand hit one of the elevator walls.

  The bear went for a final swing and Carl fired his squirt gun. It missed the bear and Carl took a huge punch square in the nose. It broke his nose and Carl fell backward. Barely noticing the bear thrashing at his own face and screaming. Carl fired the squirt gun again and the bear fell over and began to convulse.

  As Carl came to in the arms of the girl of his dreams he realized. The lights were off, it looked as if the light above had shattered and the blood on the floor indicated glass shards from it had lodged themselves in the bear-man's eyes. The fried human smell indicated that the bear might have been electrified from water that had been charged on the broken light dripping onto him as he screamed.

  "You may have saved my life," the supermodel sci-fic princess actress said.

  "So," Carl said beginning to stutter.

  "Yes, I will get a drink with you," she said.

  "I was going to ask for your autograph, Carl said reaching into his pocket protector
and pulling out a pen. That's OK too though."

  Five years later, they were married and had four kids. The End.

  7The Competitive Couple

  "I'll bet you twenty dollars you won't copy everything I say and do," Eric said to his girlfriend.

  "You're on," Jessica replied.

  Eric took a sip from his glass of beer.

  Jessica did the same.

  Eric put his right hand on the table, then his left, then his right again. Jessica copied Eric again.

  Eric yelled out at the top of his lungs, "I love women," this drew looks from nearly everyone in the bar. Despite the awkward looks Eric was smiling triumphantly. That was until his girlfriend yelled, "I love women," as well.

  This drew even more quick glances and blatant stares.

  It was clear, his girlfriend wasn't going to be out twenty bucks easily.

  Eric got up and lifted up two bar stools. One bar stool in each hand.

  Jessica copied him, easily matching his strength.

  Eric smiled and looked at his girlfriend. Then he took off his shirt.

  By this time the whole bar was staring to see what would happen. Jessica smiled and took off her shirt. This evoked a cheer from the unmarried male half of the bar and the female half gave her looks of distaste.

  Eric looked puzzled for a moment and then he had an idea. He took a running charge and slid on the bar floor, the momentum however carried him to the carpet. The carpet gave him a nasty rug burn on his chest. He cringed as he got up, walked over and sat down next to his girlfriend. The skin on his chest was rubbed raw.

  She slapped him on the back and said, "Congratulations, you won," and he moaned with agony.

  8. Crazy Man At The Mall

  "Hi," I said.

  "Howdy," the car wash girl replied.

  I'd just finished going through the car wash and she was one of the people toweling off my car.

  "Hey, if I told you there was a body in the back of my car what would you say?" I asked.

  She looked at me with that sudden burst of shock and then saw my smile. She didn't speak though.

  "I'm only kidding, everyone in my trunk is still very much alive," I said.

  She giggled a bit as she realized that I was messing with her, yet she still seemed uncertain and in somewhat of a state of shock.

  "Don't worry, I didn't kidnap anyone. I have issues keeping plants alive. If I had kidnapped a person I'd fear the results to be the same," I said smiling.

  The girl quickly finished my car and I drove to the mall.

  As I stepped into Sears I asked the first store clerk that I could find, "Do you have any capes?"

  The young man replied, "Capes?"

  "Yes, I need a cape to drape on my back to keep it warm,"

  "We might have some left from Halloween,"

  "Perfect," I said as I found my way over to the costumes.

  I found a cape, a plastic trident and an eye patch.

  I purchased these absurdities and wandered into the mall dressed as a spartan pirate.

  Moments later I found an elevator to occupy and began my social journey.

  I stepped into an elevator full of old women.

  "Yarg matees," I said.

  They all huddled into the corner as I stepped in. The elevator was a good 6x6x10 WxLxH and they left a good three feet between the four of them and I.

  As they walked out on the lower floor a young couple with a child walked in.

  "Hello fellow humans," I said.

  They never chose to fully enter the elevator.

  I went up again and a business man walked in. He was talking on the cellphone and hardly seemed to care what I was wearing.

  As the door shut I got into a fetal position and began moaning loudly. He kept apologizing to the man he was talking to. He would say, "It's not my fault, it's not my fault, there is a crazy in the elevator with me."

  After that I decided to go to the pretzel store and waited in line. People were giving me strange looks in line, yet no one talked to me.

  When I finally got to the counter the ethnic teenager at the counter said, "How can I help you?"

  I replied, "Well actually I could use a back scratch and someone to clean my car."

  The kid looked at me for a moment trying to think if I was an idiot or just crazy or messing with him. He assumed the first and said, "Would you like to buy a pretzel or not?"

  "Yes," I said.

  He prepared it and held it out to me.

  "That will be two dollars," he said.

  "Do you accept pesos?" I asked.

  "In Michigan?" he asked with disbelief.

  "Yes," I said.

  "No, we do not accept pesos," he replied.

  "I know!" I said.

  "What?" asked the teenager.

  "How would you like to trade that pretzel for a trident?" I said holding out the trident so he could hold it and decide.

  He declined and said, "I'm getting my manager."

  Before he could leave I speared the pretzel with my trident and began to make a break for Sears.

  A mall cop saw me and apparently knew I was up to something since I was sprinting and began to run after me.

  "You cannot catch Spartan Poseidon!" I yelled and ran into sears.

  I had run out into the parking lot and the poor out of shape mall cop was panting behind me. I hopped in my car and began to drive off. The mall cop gave up and leaned against the wall panting. It was a victory for me, all thanks to McDonald and dunkin donuts.

  Try some of my other books at:

  11 Mindboggling Shorts

  8 Not So Free Stories

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