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1 Who are you, Sherlock Holmes?
2 See example A, The Snark Handbook, for subtle snark.
3 It can even cut the chase.
4 By no means complete, like a hundred politicians at the bottom of the ocean, it’s a good start.
5 Groucho’s father, Simon, worked as a tailor, but since he refused to use a measuring tape, his customers were seldom satisfied. True story.
6 Yeah, there’s two masters ... what about it?
7 Hey Kurt, relax. If Attila the Hun were alive today he’d be a critic.
8 1. C., 2. B., 3. F., 4. A., 5. D., 6. E.
9 Christopher Smart on Thomas Gray
10 Ezra Pound on T. S. Eliot
11 e.e. cummings on Ezra Pound
12 T. S. Eliot on Henry James
13 W. H. Auden on Robert Browning
14 Samuel Taylor Coleridge on Edward Gibbon
15 W. H. Auden on Edgar Allan Poe
16 Juliana Smith on Noah Webster
17 This is ridiculous. Everyone knows you can’t type on toilet paper.
18 Truman Capote on William Faulkner
19 Theodore Roosevelt on Henry James
20 Gore Vidal on Truman Capote
21 Virginia Woolf on Henry James
22 Gore Vidal on Gertrude Stein
23 F. Scott Fitzgerald about Ernest Hemingway
24 Noël Coward on Edith Sitwell
25 1. E., 2. B., 3. D., 4. A., 5. F., 6. C.
26 This from the guy who wrote Peter Pan?
27 Nowadays having “only” two faces would make him a paragon of nobility.
28 Henry James on Edgar Allen Poe
29 Dylan Thomas on Edith Sitwell
30 Evelyn Waugh on Marcel Proust
31 Mark Twain on Jane Austen
32 Katherine Mansfield on E. M. Forster
33 James Gould Cozzens on John Steinbeck
34 Anatole France on Émile Zola
35 James Dickey on Robert Frost
36 Just remember that I’m a razor in comparison.
37 You may not understand them, but they certainly sound insulting.
38 1. E.,
2. C., 3. A., 4. D., 5. F., 6. B.
39 Edward Abbey on Anton Bruckner
40 Gore Vidal talking about Andy Warhol
41 Joan Rivers on Yoko Ono
42 Camille Mauclair on Paul Cézanne
43 George S. Kaufman to actor William Gaxton
44 Camille Saint-Saens on Dame Ethel Smyth
45 Aaron Copland on Ralph Vaughan Williams
46 Mark Twain on J. M. W. Turner’s The Slave Ship
47 1. E., 2. C., 3. D., 4. A., 5. F., 6. B.
48 [If I were reincarnated ...] I’d come back as my wife and leave me the hell alone.—Jeff Dunham
49 Mamie Van Doren about Warren Beatty
50 Johnny Carson about Chevy Chase
51 John Simon on Walter Matthau
52 Howard Hughes about Clark Gable
53 Rex Reed on Sylvester Stallone
54 Barbara Stanwyck about Marilyn Monroe
55 That’s not to say he wouldn’t touch you if you were a thirteenyear-old girl.
56 1. F., 2. E., 3. D., 4. A., 5. B., 6. C.
57 Even though the shiny part had actually peeled off.
58 James T. Patterson on Thomas Dewey
59 Gore Vidal on Ronald Reagan
60 Clement Freud on Margaret Thatcher
61 Bette Midler on a member of the Royal Family
62 Alice Roosevelt Longworth on Calvin Coolidge
63 Ann Richards on George Bush
64 Irving Stone on William Jennings Bryan
65 Harry S. Truman about Dwight D. Eisenhower
66 Aneurin Bevan about Neville Chamberlain
67 No, this isn’t a compliment meant for politicians!
68 1. D., 2. E., 3. B., 4. F., 5. A., 6. C.
69 Yeah, that’s right. Sometimes dogs are smarter than you.
70 1. C., 2. E., 3. A., 4. F., 5. D., 6. B.
71 Clearly a man with a death wish but the newer, gentler Mike would at least do it fast.
72 Muhammad Ali to a young boxer
73 Joe Frazier to Ken Norton
74 David Feherty, the Irish former golfer, on Jim Furyk’s swing
75 Willie Pep, the American featherweight boxer, when asked by an old opponent if he remembered him
76 Bob Costas about Dennis Rodman