RNWMP: Bride For Gilbert (Mail Order Mounties Book 17), Page 5

  Madelyn went behind the curtain and quickly changed into her nightgown before climbing into bed. She wasn’t as tired as she’d been the night before, despite how hard she’d worked all day. She wasn’t sure if she should feign sleep when he came in, or if she should talk to him.

  Ten minutes later, Bert came into the room and undressed in the dark. She heard the rustling sounds he made as he stripped off his clothes to prepare for bed. Then the bed dipped as he slipped under the covers beside her.

  She rolled to her side, facing him, one arm under her head atop the pillow. “This is strange.”

  He sighed. “It is. I didn’t think it would be odd at all sharing a bed with a woman I barely knew. As long as we weren’t touching each other, I thought it would be just fine. This is stranger, though.”

  “To me what’s strange is that you’re my husband, and you’ve never kissed me. Not really. You kissed my cheek at the wedding, but that was the only time.” She frowned, glad he couldn’t see her face in the darkness. “It makes me feel as if there’s something wrong with me.”

  “What do you mean? You’re a beautiful, attractive woman, Madelyn. No man in his right mind wouldn’t want you to be his.”

  “But. . . you don’t seem to want me to be your wife. You just need someone to take care of the girls. I thought that would be fine, and I wouldn’t care, but I do care. I care a lot.”

  He did, too. He wanted their marriage to be more than it was, but was that being faithful to Sally? He didn’t respond for a moment, thinking hard about the right thing to say. “It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. I guess I was hoping that whoever became my bride wouldn’t be attractive, and I’d have no problem at all keeping my hands off her. I have to say that’s not the case. I want to touch you.” He hated himself for it, but he wanted it more than he could express. He wasn’t sure if he had feelings for her, or if it was just having a beautiful woman beside him. Somehow falling for her seemed more of a betrayal than touching her.

  Madelyn moved closer to him on the bed, not that there was much room to move. The bed wasn’t terribly large to begin with. “Then touch me.”

  Bert found he was fighting against himself. “I don’t know if I can . . . not without guilt.”

  “Think about it. Maybe we can both be thinking about exactly what we want from our marriage. I never expected to be attracted to you. I thought I could do exactly what you wanted and just be a mother to the girls. I’m thrilled with the girls . . . but I’m afraid I want more from their father.”

  “Give me a week to think on it, and we’ll talk again. Will that work for you?”

  Madelyn nodded, a tear drifting down her cheek. She was glad he couldn’t see it. She didn’t want him to know he had that kind of power over her. “Yes, that will be fine.” She rolled over, presenting her back to him, feeling very rejected. He still hadn’t kissed her, and she’d all but begged him to.

  Bert knew she was hurting, but he didn’t know what to do about it. He’d only met her yesterday, and Sally . . . well, everything he’d ever loved was wrapped up in his sweet Sally. He’d think about it.

  * * *

  Bert left for work on Saturday morning, making it clear he wasn’t sure when he’d be home. Madelyn smiled as if she didn’t care and as if she wasn’t torn to pieces by their discussion the night before.

  Instead of dwelling on his rejection of her, she washed all the linens in the house and went to work on both bedrooms, the girls at her side. They were so excited to learn how to clean properly. She knew it wasn’t that they wanted to clean. They wanted to be with her, and that felt good as well.

  After lunch, she put them down for their nap and carefully cut out the fabric she’d purchased to make them aprons. The dresses were more of a need, but she knew the girls would be more excited by the aprons, so that’s what she’d make first.

  She was just picking up her needle and thread when the door opened, and Bert came in. “Something smells good. Any lunch left?” he asked.

  She nodded, getting to her feet. “Sit down, and I’ll get it for you. Are you done with work for the day?”

  “Yes, for today. I won’t work tomorrow either.” He sat down in one of the kitchen chairs, stretching his feet out in front of him and crossing his hands behind his neck. “Are the girls napping?”

  “Yes, they were tired.” She put the soup she’d made on the stove, heating it up. “I didn’t know you were coming home so early, or I’d have kept this warm for you.”

  “I can wait a few minutes while you warm it. Doesn’t hurt me at all.” He leaned forward, his forearms on the table. “I forgot it was my turn to preach tomorrow. I’ll have to spend the afternoon working on my sermon.”

  “You’re preaching? What about the pastor who married us?”

  “He was only here for the wedding. He’s an itinerate preacher. Comes through here every couple of months. We four Mounties take turns other than that. We’re not allowed to marry people, though, so we called him to come in for the weddings.”

  “I see.” She’d had no idea that part of a Mountie’s job was to preach a Sunday sermon at times. “What will your sermon be about?”

  He shrugged. “I thought with all the new marriages this week, I should preach on marriage. So I’m going to talk about becoming one after the wedding.”

  “I’ll look forward to hearing that. Do the girls have Sunday dresses?”

  “No, they don’t. We’re pretty casual here. If you can have them wearing their best, that would be great.”

  “By next weekend, I’ll be sure to have Sunday dresses for them to wear to church.”

  “I’d appreciate that.” He watched her cook, her movements efficient. She carried a bowl to him and put it on the table before him. “Thank you for reheating lunch for me.”

  “It was no problem. I’m happy to do it.” She sat back down and picked up the apron she was stitching. “I should have done new dresses for the girls first, but they both want aprons just like mine. I knew they’d be excited to get the aprons in a way a new dress wouldn’t excite them.”

  “I’m sure they’re going to be thrilled by anything their new mama makes for them. They idolize you, which surprises me after such a short time.” He shook his head. “I’m glad, though. I want them to be happy with you.”

  “I think they’re really worried I’m going away. Twice last night they got nervous because they heard us talking about things totally unrelated to my leaving, and they jumped to conclusions. I’m not sure how to make them feel more secure.” It really bothered her how nervous they were about her leaving. She wanted them to feel content.

  “Just keep loving them. That’s the only advice I have for you. Every time they wake up and find you here, they’ll feel a little more secure. Every time they fall down and skin a knee, and you’re here, they’ll feel better about everything.”

  “I hope so. I hate that they worry I’m just going to disappear.” She tied off a knot and rethreaded her needle. “I want this transition to be as easy for them as it can possibly be.”

  “You really love them, don’t you?” He was surprised that someone who had never met his girls two days before could already care about them so much.

  “I loved them from the first instant I read your letter. I was ready to leave Miss Hazel’s house, telling her there was no way I could ever marry a stranger, and then she put that letter in my hands. I know it’s strange, but it felt as if I was drawn toward you right that instant—all three of you.” She worried for a moment that he would think she was crazy, but she had to face facts. She’d gotten on a train with the intention of marrying a stranger. If that wasn’t crazy, she didn’t know what was!

  “I know you’re exactly what we needed. I have to wonder what you’re getting out of being here. Other than getting away from your old manager, of course.”

  “Well, I knew I wanted a family. People who would accept me for who I am. I wanted a place to belong. I have that with the three of you. I
can cook what I want to cook, and be who I want to be . . . and you’ll support me.”

  He nodded. “That makes sense.” He started to mention their discussion from the night before, but he still wasn’t sure how he felt. He wanted to let her know that he was developing feelings for her as well, but would that get her hopes up? What if he couldn’t make it work?

  She set down the apron. “I need to go bring in the linens off the line. I want to get our bed made up before the girls wake up to help. I made their bed earlier, and it took me four times as long as it would have taken to do it by myself.”

  He grinned. “I’m sure it did, but they’re good helpers, and all they want to do is please you. In ten years, you’ll be able to leave all the housework and the cooking to them, and you can sit back and watch.”

  She shuddered at the thought. “I think I would go absolutely crazy if I was forced to be that idle. I’d much rather spend my time doing things than sitting around as if I was an invalid.” She left, shutting the front door behind her. She had to remind herself that he didn’t know her at all. Otherwise she’d have been offended by what he seemed to think she was looking for in life.

  At the line, she took down the sheets and the pillowcases, putting the clothespins into a bag hanging from the line. It was a very convenient set-up, and she had to wonder if it had been his idea or Sally’s. Either way, it made her job easier.

  Carrying in the linens, she took them straight to their curtained-off room and went to work making the bed. She was surprised when he came in and stood at the other side of the bed to help her. “Sally couldn’t do it herself when she was carrying the girls, and I got into the habit of helping.”

  She nodded. “I thank you for it. Making a bed is definitely easier with two sets of hands.” She hadn’t seen the tender side of him that he’d obviously shown his Sally.

  When it was finished, she plumped the pillows and looked down at it. She wanted to make a quilt for the bed, but she wasn’t sure how he’d feel about that. “Would it be all right if I made a quilt? After I finish with all the sewing for the girls.”

  He looked down at the quilt on the bed, touching it for a moment. “I think that’s a good idea. We could put this one away for the girls when they’re older. Their mother made it.”

  “I had a feeling that was the case.” Madelyn didn’t feel like she needed to wipe Sally’s memory from everything in their cabin, but she knew the girls would want some things to remember their birth mother by. This would be a good memory for them. “I’ll start on one as soon as the immediate sewing is done.”

  “I have a couple of shirts that need to be mended. And some socks that need to be darned.” He was afraid to add to her workload, but unlike Sally, she seemed to thrive on hard work. Sally had loved the girls, and she’d done everything she needed to do, but she had always seemed so tired from it. Not Madelyn. Sally had been the perfect wife for him, but looking at Madelyn, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d been right about that.

  “Put them on the table when you leave for work on Monday morning, and I’ll see to them.” She’d already done most of the scrubbing that the little house needed. She’d wash the windows, and then it would just be a matter of keeping up, not trying to catch up. Then there would be a lot more time for her to do sewing and other projects with the girls.

  “Thank you for being willing to do them.”

  “It’s my job as your wife and the girls’ mother. I know why I’m here.” Madelyn started to walk past him, but he caught her arm. “Yes?”

  “That is why I sent for you. I think I made it clear in the letter.” He hated that she was hurting, but he didn’t know how to change it.

  She nodded. “Yes, you did. And I will fulfill my end of the bargain.” She pulled away and walked back into the main room, sitting at the table and getting back to work. All the while she did, she thought about what it would be like for her husband to be in love with her.

  6

  Going to the church service on Sunday morning and listening to her husband preach was very odd for Madelyn. He preached about the ideal marriage and each person’s place in that marriage. She thought for a moment that he wasn’t fulfilling his role as a husband, but then she dismissed the thought as unfair.

  Millie sat snuggled into her right side, and Mary snuggled into her left. She saw all of the women who had traveled to White Fox with her and married the other Mounties. She looked around at them, wondering how their new marriages were going, saying a silent prayer for each of them.

  Colleen sat with her back straight, almost too straight to Madelyn’s way of thinking, beside her new husband, Marshall. Ida had Lily on one side of her and Andrew on the other. Callie still seemed to have a confused look on her face, as if she was trying to figure out how she’d ended up in Manitoba with Peter. All the men wore their dress uniforms and looked handsome, but none of the others looked nearly as handsome as her Bert, who stood in front of them all with his Bible in his hands.

  After the service, Madelyn walked over to Ida, feeling closer to her than any of the others since they had both been at Miss Hazel’s before the others arrived. She carefully held the girls’ hands in hers as she walked to her friend.

  “Ida, I want you to meet my new daughters. This is Millie,” she said, nodding to the girl on her right, “and this is Mary.”

  Ida smiled at them. “It’s so nice to meet you. I hope you’ll be friends with Lily.”

  Millie nodded. “We would love to be her friends.” She smiled at Lily and received a shy smile in return.

  “How’s marriage treating you?” Madelyn asked, silently praying that her friend wouldn’t ask her the same question. She really didn’t want to discuss how much in love she already was with a man who didn’t have any feelings for her at all.

  Ida shrugged. “It’s a learning experience. Marrying a stranger is not something I ever thought I’d do.”

  “I know exactly what you mean! At least I got two beautiful new daughters out of it!”

  They were joined by Callie and Colleen, and the four of them talked for a few minutes. When Bert came over to join her, she smiled at him. “I packed a picnic lunch for us. It’s in the cabin.”

  He shrugged. “That sounds nice.” He took Millie’s hand to free one of hers and offered her his arm.

  With a wave, she smiled at her friends and left the church with her new family. “I thought it would be nice to do something outdoors while the weather holds. It looks like it might snow again any time, but it’s beautiful today.”

  “It is.”

  She felt odd holding onto his arm as if their marriage was a normal one, but she didn’t say anything. She was just pleased he was at least making an effort in public. At their house, he took the picnic basket, and she carried the quilt. The girls danced around them, excited at the prospect of a picnic.

  “We haven’t had a picnic since our other mama died!” Millie said, obviously very excited. Her voice didn’t hold the usual sadness it did when she spoke of her other mama.

  “Well, it’s about time then, isn’t it?”

  Mary nodded solemnly. “We haven’t had a picnic since we moved here.”

  Madelyn frowned. “That’s very sad. Little girls should have picnics and tea parties every day!” She made a promise to herself that she would invite Ida and Lily over for a tea party that week. It would be a lovely way for the girls to get to know one another better.

  They walked outside of town, down toward a bubbling brook, and she spread the quilt out on the ground. She hoped it wasn’t a special one, but she didn’t know. How could she? The grass was still looking beaten down by the snow that had recently melted, but she could see some sprigs of green that made her think spring might be on its way.

  Once she had served everyone, Bert said grace. After the prayer, he smiled at her. “Thank you for planning a picnic. The girls are very happy to be doing things that seem normal again.”

  She smiled. “I’m happy to do as many thing
s like this as we possibly can. I think little girls’ lives should be filled with picnics and tea parties.”

  “Was your childhood filled with picnics and tea parties?” he asked, a smile on his face.

  She shook her head. “No, my mother remarried when I was about the girls’ age. After that, my life was filled with helping out around the house because Mom was always expecting.” She wanted to give her girls the kind of upbringing she hadn’t had.

  “That’s not fair. Do you have younger sisters?” he asked.

  “Three of them.”

  “Did they get picnics and tea parties?”

  “Every week. My step-father wanted them to have perfect childhoods.” She took a bite of potato salad and smiled. “I really like how it turned out this time. I experimented with a new recipe.”

  He took the hint that she didn’t want to talk about her childhood any longer. “I like it, too. But I haven’t taken a single bite that you’ve cooked that didn’t make my taste buds jump for joy. You are truly an amazing cook, Maddie.”

  She was a little startled at his use of her nickname, but then she realized she liked it. It had only been used by Miss Hazel since she’d left home, and it felt good to hear it on his lips. “I’m glad you enjoy my cooking. If you think about it, all the years I’ve spent learning to cook have been for you and the girls.”

  He smiled at that. “I guess I never thought of it that way.”

  When they had finished their picnic, she gathered up their dirty dishes and put them back in the basket she’d found. She couldn’t help but wonder how many picnics he’d gone on with Sally, using this same basket. “I brought a ball if you girls would like to play catch.”