The Offering, Page 5

  Max bent forward to retrieve his shirt. “What if we just go back to pretending we don’t know about this place?” He winked at Brooklynn over my shoulder.

  I sighed. “You might as well tell me, then. How long have you known about this one?” I asked, feeling suddenly foolish for ever considering it private in the first place.

  It was Brook who chimed in first. “There are no secrets around here, Charlie. You should know that by now.”

  I spun to face her, trying to decide which bothered me more, that everyone knew about my underground hiding spot, or that she might be right. That nothing could stay hidden inside the walls of the palace.

  My tongue was dry and I swallowed hard. I hoped neither of them knew what I’d found hidden in the bottom of the box. Hoped neither of them knew about the letter from Queen Elena . . .

  And the proposal she’d made me.

  “Charlie.” Max’s voice emerged from the darkness, and I halted, my heart crashing hard against my ribs.

  When he reached me, the pale light coming from my skin made it easier to make out his outline. The way his feet were planted and his arms were crossed. His already dark eyes were made darker by the murkiness of the subterranean passageways.

  “You scared me,” I accused. “I thought you and Brook had gone. What are you still doing here?”

  “You shouldn’t be wandering around down here alone, even if Zafir does know where you are. I figured I’d wait for you, walk you back. It’ll give us a chance to talk about Brook, and what she’s suggesting. She’s just upset, you know. We all are after . . . after that message Elena sent.” He frowned, but suddenly the letter from Elena felt incriminating and I worried that Max knew I was keeping it from him.

  I glanced away. “You didn’t have to wait. I’m fine. Really.”

  But Max crossed the space between us. “Don’t bother, Charlie. Today’s been anything but fine.” He slipped his fingers through mine. “So what was it? Something happened. Something you’re not telling me.”

  I had to remind myself he had no way of knowing how fast my pulse was racing, and I hoped my palms weren’t a sweaty mess against his. But I knew that the sparks beneath my skin could just as easily betray me. “It was nothing—” I tried, but Max interrupted me.

  “Charlie, I can’t make you tell me anything.” He chuckled and tugged my hand, bumping my shoulder against his arm. “I’ve never been able to make you do anything, but I feel like you’re keeping something from me. I wish you’d trust me.”

  “Trust.” Right now I hated that word. I didn’t want to lie, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. The fact that it was Max only made the situation worse. I hated lying to him, especially after everything we’d been through and all the secrets I’d already kept from him. Just when he’d finally started believing in me again, I was about to stand here and shatter that trust. “Nothing. I’m just worried, is all. The idea of going to war, of putting Ludania at risk like that, it . . . well, it makes me ill.”

  Max’s eyes narrowed as he studied me, his brow furrowing. “Is that all?”

  I sighed and leaned against him, burying my face in his chest. He probably thought I needed his strength, but really, I couldn’t stand to face him any longer. “Isn’t that enough? You know I’d do anything”—I choked on the word, because that, at least, was the truth—“anything to keep Ludania out of war.”

  “I know,” he said, his hand finding my back. And he stood there stroking me like that, unaware that he was comforting me because I was a complete and utter fraud. That he was making me feel better for lying to him.

  It was hard to stay still in the quiet of my bedroom as the hours dragged by. I still felt guilt over lying to Max, but it had been the right thing to do. I couldn’t afford to let him stop me. Besides, it was better to keep him out of what I was about to do.

  My guilt was compounded by the fact that I had only Sabara to keep me company. She was an abysmal conversationalist, trying to convince me over and over that the plan I’d come up with was absurd. That I would get myself killed.

  What she really meant was that I would get her killed.

  Her selfishness knew no bounds.

  But I understood her concerns. I had them too. My idea was reckless, albeit necessary if I intended to keep Ludania out of war. And I did, no matter the cost.

  You’re an idiot, Charlaina. You think Elena intends to honor her word? She’d sooner slice your throat than negotiate a treaty. Sabara’s voice left no doubt as to what she thought of my plans, and I wished, again, that I could somehow shield my thoughts from her.

  But no matter how loudly she protested, I refused to be swayed in this matter.

  Because Elena had offered me something I wanted even more than just a treaty. And no matter how much I tried to convince myself that my reasons were selfless, the truth was, I desperately missed the sound of silence.

  Clenching the edges of my vanity, I stared at myself in the mirror, willing Sabara to show herself, although I knew she wouldn’t. I summoned her all the same.

  “Show yourself, Sabara. Face me. I dare you.”

  I waited, watching my own image. My face remained impassive, my eyes as cold as ice chips as they stared back at me, unblinking and frosty. My skin, although dimmed with time, now shone with determination, tiny detonations erupting just below the surface, the only movements I could see.

  I could almost believe I was a force to be reckoned with, almost imagine I wasn’t terrified by the mission on which I was about to embark.

  “Coward,” I whispered when she didn’t emerge, but a part of me wondered if I was really talking to her at all.

  When the palace had fallen silent for the night, I slipped soundlessly from my room and crept down the deserted hallway to another bedchamber, one I’d been in just hours earlier. The guards who’d been standing outside were gone now, abandoning this post for another, more pressing matter. Their absence bolstered my confidence, and I reached for the door handle, and let myself inside without knocking first.

  I knew she was awake even before I entered her tiny room. I could sense her awareness of me immediately, although I was certain she wasn’t alarmed to find me creeping into her bedroom in the dead of night.

  “Eden?” I called just to be sure I hadn’t misread the feeling in the air. I’d have hated to have the royal guard thrust her sword through my gut by mistake. She didn’t answer, but I closed the door behind me all the same. I couldn’t risk making anyone else aware of where I was.

  Now that I was here, ensconced within the cramped space of her private quarters, I was no longer certain where to start my explanation. I shifted from one foot to the other, silently replaying Sabara’s arguments in my head and allowing them to fracture my earlier resolve. Inside my chest my heart hammered painfully, and my breathing grew erratic.

  “What do you want?” Eden asked from the darkest corner of her bedchamber. I studied her motionless outline, still lying outstretched on her back as she stared up at the ceiling. From the sound of her voice, which wasn’t groggy at all, I could tell I wasn’t the only one who’d been awake throughout the night.

  “I want to talk to you . . . ,” I began. “I have an idea. A proposition, really.”

  I heard the sound of rustling and the creak of bedsprings. I watched as her outline shifted until her back was facing me. “Go away,” she stated flatly. And then, “What I meant, of course, was, ‘Go away, Your Majesty.’”

  I smiled at that; I couldn’t help it. Something in her tone, the caustic sting that laced the edges of her words, told me I’d chosen correctly. She was the perfect person to turn to.

  “Eden, I need your help,” I insisted, but this time I didn’t wait for her to tell me to piss off, which she was most certainly leading up to. Eden had learned to show me a degree of loyalty as her queen, but only because Xander had demanded it. And Eden respected Xander above all else.

  Which was exactly what I was counting on.

  I crossed the room a
nd knelt down beside her, my heart racing as I did so. I’d seen what she’d done to that messenger, how swiftly she’d disemboweled him. I knew how deadly she could be.

  Dropping my voice to the quietest whisper I could manage, I breathed into the darkness where she lay. “We’re getting out of here.”

  At first there was nothing from her, no response at all, save that electric crackle of energy of hers that fed the air. She’d heard me, all right. She was considering my words.

  Then she rolled over abruptly, and I found myself staring directly into her unblinking black eyes. They were unnerving, and I had to force myself not to flinch beneath their scrutiny.

  “What exactly are you trying to say?”

  “Just you and me. No one else can know about this. I need you to take me to Astonia.” I swallowed, willing my throat not to fail me. Not wanting to stop until I’d said everything I’d come to say. “It’s the only way,” I implored. “I need you to help me sneak out of the palace and cross the border. If I can get to Queen Elena, I might be able to stop her from attacking Ludania. I can prevent thousands of soldiers from having to give their lives over a senseless vendetta.” My eyes were wide now, and my words tumbled over one another. “Please, Eden. You’re the only person I can trust with this. You’re the only one who has as much reason to get to Astonia as I do.”

  Eden sat up as she considered my pleas. “What about the princess?” she asked of Angelina, the only person other than Xander whom Eden truly loved.

  I nodded. Of course I’d considered this. “I’m putting Zafir in charge of her. He’ll protect her as valiantly as you would.”

  Eden snorted, scoffing at the notion that someone—anyone—could replace her.

  “Fine,” I conceded. “But he’s at least the second best in the queendom. He won’t let anyone near her. You know I’d never let anything happen to my sister.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Not intentionally. But you kept Sabara a secret, didn’t you?”

  I stood then, my shoulders erect and my chin high as I scowled down at her shadowed form. “You’re walking a dangerous line, Eden. I came here because I trust you, and because I believe we can help each other, but that doesn’t give you the right to insult me.”

  She held my gaze a moment, and then sighed, rubbing her hands through her greasy black hair. “No, you’re right . . . Your Majesty. It was uncalled for.” She eased herself up from her bunk until she was standing upright, and then it was she who looked down upon me as she stood at her full height. “And what if I don’t want to help you? What if I turn you in to Zafir or Max or your parents? Tell them your plan to . . . to do whatever it is you plan to do once you get to Astonia? Then what?”

  I’d considered this too. I didn’t have a plan B. Eden was my only option, but I couldn’t let her know that. If I’d thought I could get to Astonia on my own, I would have tried. But I’d never been anywhere on my own before. I wasn’t even sure which direction to travel, or how to keep myself from getting mauled by animals or slaughtered by thieves. I was useless.

  Eden, on the other hand, was competent and experienced and could lead me right to Astonia.

  And with the right timing, with just a moment alone with Queen Elena, we both might get what we wanted from her.

  Keeping my face blank, I shrugged as dispassionately as I could manage. “You could do that, I suppose. But then we’ll never know for certain what happened to Xander.” As I said the words, I wished the knot in my stomach would loosen. “It’s a risk I have to take,” I finished, hoping I didn’t throw up right there in her chamber before she could give me her answer.

  Eden paced toward the door, and my stomach acids churned, the back of my throat burning in their wake. I felt suddenly dizzy, and the urge to bolt ahead of her and run away almost overwhelmed me.

  Maybe if I got a head start . . . Maybe I stood a chance of escaping into the forest.

  Maybe I could somehow reach the border on my own.

  And then Eden stopped pacing and turned to face me. Her expression was hard to read, but her mood wasn’t. “I don’t want to be a guard any longer,” she stated with impervious resolve, and I remembered her the way I’d first seen her, when she’d been part of Xander’s underground resistance. When all I had been able to think was that this woman, with her muscular arms and her piercing black eyes, was a weapon in her own right. “I’m done with all that nonsense. All I want is to get Xander back.”

  I didn’t know if I could give her that, because I didn’t know if Xander was alive or not. She surely knew as much too.

  I nodded, agreeing to every unspoken term being forged between us. “Good,” I told her, my blood hot and my skin starting to glow beneath the heat of our new alliance. “Because I don’t want you to be my guard. I want a partner. And if you help me get to Astonia, I’ll do whatever I can to help you get revenge.”

  iv

  I lifted my finger to my lips, warning Angelina’s temporary guard not to give me away. I slipped behind a massive tree trunk and watched as Angelina climbed the rope ladder that led into the fortress built high above the ground. The guard, who probably wasn’t thrilled to be taking Eden’s place while she was supposed to be resting, simply nodded while Zafir remained hidden with me.

  Despite its less than stable appearance, and its precarious position among the thick, twisting branches, I was certain the tree fort was more than sufficiently secure. I knew no one—Eden specifically—would have allowed Angelina to play up there unless its architecture had been deemed sound.

  From my spot below the structure, I listened to Angelina whispering something, and wondered if I’d somehow missed the presence of another child while I’d been observing her. I’d been almost certain she was alone.

  Before I could question my sister’s escort, I heard Angelina again, her voice louder now as she answered her own question, and I realized that she was carrying on both sides of her own conversation. Chatting, and then responding in kind.

  Something about that hit a little too close to home for me. It was much too close to the way Sabara and I communicated, save that Sabara’s voice remained silent to everyone but me.

  I was glad Angelina had her own place of refuge, like I did. But my heart ached for the fact that my little sister was just as isolated out here at the palace as she had been when we’d been in the city, when she’d been unable to speak at all, and I wondered if she longed to play with other children. If she wished for friends her own age so she wouldn’t have to carry on imagined conversations with herself.

  I stood indecisively for only a moment before making up my mind to follow her up the steps to the tree house. With my plan now in place, Eden had given me less than twenty-four hours to make my final preparations before we would vanish.

  Mostly, she had warned me to squeeze in a few hours’ sleep before our first overnight journey, and I’d tried to follow her instructions, but I was too keyed up to rest. We’d be departing just after midnight, and all I really wanted to do was say good-bye. I didn’t know when, or if, I’d ever see my family again.

  As Sabara insisted on reminding me, I was about to embark on a suicide mission.

  I gave Zafir the signal to wait for me, preferring to be alone with my sister, if only for a few moments.

  The ladder was harder to climb than I’d expected, especially considering I’d just watched Angelina scale it deftly, like a small and agile little monkey. I glared through the rungs at Zafir, who was watching my progress with increasing amusement. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that soon he’d be climbing this very same ladder. That he’d be entertaining my sister with tea parties and pony rides and other games she saw fit to include him in.

  Eden would never admit as much, but I knew she’d enjoyed the childish endeavors. Zafir almost certainly would not. But he’d tolerate them all the same, because it was his duty to do so.

  When I reached the top, my head poked through an opening in the rough-hewn floor, and I saw Angelina sitting cross-le
gged, staring at me. Her direct gaze made me aware of the fact that I hadn’t snuck up on her at all, but rather that she’d been expecting me. Perhaps she’d known I’d been watching her all along.

  It had always been hard to fool Angelina.

  Her eyes never left me as I clambered the rest of the way inside, but she didn’t flinch or try to move away from me, which I took as a good sign. We’d come to a truce, she and I, ever since I’d admitted to Sabara’s existence inside me.

  Angelina had already known, or suspected at least. She’d sensed the old queen’s presence—her Essence still clinging to life within me—long before anyone else had realized it.

  Maybe too she was aware that Sabara would be just as willing to take her as a host as me. Angelina’s blood was just as royal as mine was.

  She’d only have to say the words, Sabara had uttered in my head time and time again, making it sound like mere sport—moving her Essence from body to body.

  The words, I thought. Those three simple words that would end Sabara’s control over me once and for all. That would give me back my body.

  “Take me instead.”

  I’d already traded my life for Angelina’s. And forcing anyone else to say the words was a potential death sentence, whoever she was. I was the first person to ever coexist with Sabara. The first royal to survive the transfer and to share a body with Sabara. Every other girl had simply . . . vanished, surrendering her body completely to Sabara’s dark soul.

  I couldn’t do that to someone else.

  I wouldn’t do it.

  “It’s okay if I come up, isn’t it?”

  Angelina didn’t answer, just blinked at me with those achingly beautiful blue eyes. But still she remained where she sat.

  I came in anyway and settled down across from her, crossing my legs like she did. Looking around, I could see she spent a good deal of her time up here, and that it was roomier than it appeared from below.