at in the mirror is you.”
“Thanks, Leo. And thanks for jumping in at the last minute
and saving our butts.”
“It’s my pleasure, really. There’s no way I would have missed
this.”
Chapter 17
Thanksgiving 1986
Leo peered into the distance as three deer sauntered into
the expansive open space behind Maria and Sandy’s house. She
envied the pristine view from their deck, especially in the late
afternoon when the sun turned the hillside golden. It was a nice
change from what she was used to, though looking onto a row
of tidy homes on Van Buren wasn’t bad if you didn’t mind the
power poles. At least she had the unobstructed water view from
the attic, which her sessions with Claudia had allowed her to
enjoy.
The eight days that had passed since Claudia dropped by to
talk about the boy in her class had seemed like an eternity already,
and the next three days would crawl by before she returned to
shoot on Sunday. Since that day on the porch swing, Leo had
dreamily played back the moment when Claudia walked back to
give her a hug. Something had shifted inside her, and no amount
of rational introspection could put it back in its place. Her head
was bombarded by dozens of warnings to rein in the attraction,
the loudest being that Claudia wasn’t gay. There was also the
matter of that rather large diamond on her hand, and while Leo
didn’t think an overbearing jerk like Mike deserved someone like
Claudia, there was no denying that she wanted him. Otherwise,
she wouldn’t have raced home to see him after the way he had
treated her on the phone.
She had convinced herself that a couple of weeks away from
Claudia would help sharpen her perspective, at least enough to
let reality set in. But what she had hoped would be “out of sight,
out of mind” had instead become the opposite.
The glass door slid behind her and she turned to see Maria
acrobatically juggling two steaming mugs as she pushed the
handle with her elbow.
“Have you tasted Sandy’s cider? No alcohol, but the cloves
pack a wallop.”
“Let me get that.” Leo jumped to close the door behind her
and took the offered mug. “Need any help in there?”
“You any good at crowd control? Patty and Joyce are fighting
over the TV remote.”
Leo sipped the spicy drink, which numbed her throat as it
trickled down. “This is good stuff.”
“Don’t fill up on it. I’ve got enough food to feed Ethiopia.
You getting hungry?”
“Whenever. We had a huge breakfast at IHOP.” She had
spent the night in Modesto with her mother and Aunt Ellie, a
deed that had released her from the duty of accompanying them
to Thanksgiving dinner at the home of cousins she didn’t know
very well.
“How’s your mom?”
“She’s doing great. A lot happier in Modesto than she was
here after my father died. She just couldn’t stand to face the loss
every day.”
Maria nodded and propped her elbows on the rail. “It’s
amazing the lengths we go to so we can cope. Look at Joyce. She
moved all the way out here from Chicago after her parents found
out she was gay.”
Leo had coped with her father’s death by throwing herself
into her work, largely because she’d had little choice. The
commitments on their studio calendar had to be honored, and
she was fortunate most of those customers had trusted her to step
into her father’s shoes. The first year was a blur of school and
recreation league pictures, weekend weddings, mornings at the
mall taking hundreds of baby photos, and then a steady stream
of evening studio portraits. She remembered feeling relief when
her mother moved to Modesto because her home life became
one less obligation to juggle.
Things had settled quite a bit since then, enough that she no
longer felt guilty when she made time for her friends. Little by
little, she had given herself over to parties and casual outings with
Maria and Sandy as her main conduits. There was no denying
how important their friendship had become. “It’s nice you and
Sandy host this every year. You guys feel like family.”
“That’s because we are.” Maria looked back over her shoulder
and lowered her voice. “I want to tell you about something
so it won’t come out of the blue. We’ll be making an official
announcement at dinner.”
From Maria’s upturned mouth, Leo suspected good news
and she leaned closer to hear it.
“You remember that gallery in San Luis Obispo I told you
about? I’m buying it. Sandy and I are moving down there next
summer after the school year ends.”
“You’re kidding.”
“We went down last weekend and bought some land in Morro
Bay overlooking the water. If we’re lucky, we’ll break ground on
our dream house by February.”
Leo wanted to be happy for them, but her selfish side felt
the loss instantly. If Maria and Sandy left—and with Claudia
wrapping up her internship and heading home—that would leave
only Patty among her close friends. She liked the other women
in their group, but none were likely to convene the group for
parties or holidays and neither would she. Few people had Maria
and Sandy’s flair for bringing women together. “That’s pretty big
news. How come you haven’t told anybody?”
“You know how fast things get around. Sandy hasn’t had a
chance to talk to her boss.”
“Don’t go,” she said plaintively. “Who’s going to cook
Thanksgiving dinner for us?”
Maria laughed and chucked her arm. “I’m still going to cook,
but you’ll have to drive a little farther to eat.”
In the distance, a car started up the hill toward the house—a
white 300ZX—and Leo felt her pulse quicken.
“There’s Claudia,” Maria said.
“I thought she was having Thanksgiving with her fiancé’s
family.” Leo cringed at how her voice suddenly squeaked, the
result of both surprise and excitement. The last thing she wanted
was for someone to see her getting weird about Claudia. “I talked
to her just last week.”
“She called Sandy this morning and said she decided not
to go. Something about how she’d seen enough of them last
weekend to last a while.”
“Right, she went home to see her fiancé.”
“I got the impression that didn’t go well.”
Leo looked blankly at Maria and back at the approaching
vehicle. “What do you mean didn’t go well? What happened?”
“I’m not sure, but apparently she was in a bad mood all
week.”
“That’s because her fiancé’s an asshole,” Leo snarled, making
no attempt to keep the venom from her voice. Maybe Claudia
had dumped him.
Claudia fluttered with excitement when she spotted Leo by
the sliding glass door. The bright smile that greeted her triggered
one of her own, along with fresh regret for skipping their last
session. Given the events of the past weekend, she would much
rather have been with Leo than at home with Mike.
Sandy met her with a cheerful hug in the foyer. “Glad you
0
could make it. We’re so much more fun than the in-laws.”
“So is getting a root canal,” she said, shrugging out of her
blazer. “Thanks for letting me come empty-handed at the last
minute. I promise to clean up the kitchen afterward.”
“Oh, no,” Sandy said, her voice booming across the room,
where four women and a teenage boy lounged in front of the TV
on the expansive sectional sofa. “Cleaning up is Patty’s job. We
gave it to her permanently after she brought a casserole nobody
could eat.”
Patty stuck out her tongue as Joyce mussed her hair playfully.
“You guys better be nice to me, or I’ll start bringing food
again.”
Claudia started her welcome tour at the sofa, stepping over
outstretched legs to shake hands with Sharon and Lydia, whom
she remembered from the Halloween party.
“This is my son, Zack,” Lydia said, jabbing her elbow into
the boy’s ribs.
The lanky youth, dressed in jeans and a black Metallica T-
shirt, jumped to his feet and smiled. “Hello, ma’am.”
“Call me Claudia. Now sit back down and enjoy the game.”
When she reached Patty and Joyce, the two were standing for a
greeting. She brushed her lips on Joyce’s cheek and turned to do
the same with Patty.
“Oh no, you don’t,” Patty said, enveloping her in a rib-
crunching hug. “Get with the program. Dykes don’t do air
kisses.”
As they turned their attention back to the football game on
TV, she worked her way to Leo, who wore her trademark black
jeans with a long-sleeved green and white rugby shirt. After Patty
had set the stage for familiarity, she held out her arms. “I take it
air kisses are out for you too.”
Leo wrapped her in a hug, not as powerful as Patty’s, but
longer and undoubtedly affectionate. “This is a nice surprise. I
didn’t know you were going to be here.”
Claudia followed her out onto the deck and to the rail, the
same spot where they had talked at the Halloween party. “I tried
to call you last night but I got your machine.” It hadn’t occurred
to her until just now to wonder about where Leo had spent the
night…or with whom.
“I was at my mom’s in Modesto. We always go out for
breakfast on Thanksgiving, since that gets me off the hook for
going to my cousin’s for dinner.”
“Nice how that works, huh? My mom and dad went to Vail
with some friends of theirs, so it wasn’t even an option to spend
the holiday with them.”
“I thought you were having dinner with Mike’s family.”
She groaned. “I’ve had my fill of them for a while. I spent all
day Saturday listening to his mother talk about how a supportive
wife would keep house while her husband went out there to earn
a living. It sounded just like my mother, only Large Marge takes
it up a couple of notches because she doesn’t understand why I’d
care more about the children of ‘lettuce pickers’ than I would
about staying at home with my own.”
“You call your future mother-in-law Large Marge?”
“That’s what Mike calls her. So there I sat with her while
Mike was supposedly meeting with the architects. Turns out
his meeting lasted only two hours, after which he and his father
spent the rest of the afternoon playing golf.”
“Ouch.”
“The whole weekend was like that.” She pushed her hair out
of her eyes and turned into the breeze, remembering the last time
she had talked with Leo about Mike. She had ended up in tears,
something she wasn’t going to do again no matter how frustrated
she was. “I don’t need to be going on about Mike again. As my
mother pointed out, no one wants to hear it.”
“Your mother doesn’t know what kind of friend I am.”
Claudia was touched by the words, but she suspected her
mother was right for once. Either way, she didn’t want to grumble
about it today. People like Leo, Sandy and Maria deserved better
than to have their holiday dinner spoiled by a pouting guest, and
that’s all she seemed to do lately. “I’m just glad to be with pleasant
people for a change. Are we still on for Sunday?”
“You bet.” Leo held up her hands as if framing her in a photo.
“We’re going to do a couple of tricky profile shots.”
“Here we go again. Make sure you get my pointy chin.”
The sliding door rumbled behind them and Sandy appeared.
“Come on, ladies. Zack’s already loading his plate and there won’t
be much left.”
Claudia followed Leo into the rustic dining room, a sharp
contrast to last year’s holiday dinner at the majestic home of
Mike’s parents. That one had been catered by a small wait staff
and served on china bearing the family crest. Here, in a room
filled with sun from the skylights in the cathedral ceiling, the
table was set with brown and burgundy stoneware. Gold napkins
on steaming serving dishes in the center of the table.
Everyone held hands around the perimeter, so Claudia
entwined her fingers with Leo’s and joined the circle. Joyce began
what appeared to be a ritual, expressing her gratitude for how
the others in the group had rescued her when her family broke
ties upon learning she was gay. Without her friends, she said, she
hated to imagine where she might have ended up.
As they took turns saying a few words of thanks, Claudia
was fascinated to realize the common thread—the people here
regarded one another as family, even young Zack, who seemed as
comfortable in a roomful of lesbians as anyone. Easy to see why.
The table was surrounded by genuine love and a strong sense
of unconditional support. What struck her even more was that
she felt a part of it, far more at ease among them than she was
even with her own parents, to say nothing of Mike’s upper-crust
family.
When she had come to the Halloween party here less than
four weeks ago, it had felt like a novelty, a chance to demonstrate
to her new lesbian friends that she was open-minded and
accepting of their lifestyles. Today’s gathering held none of that
outsider feel. She was the one being embraced, and it wasn’t only
with hospitality. These women, whether they knew it or not,
were giving her shelter from the parts of her life that had begun
to unravel last weekend.
“This is such a beautiful family,” Claudia said when her turn
came. “I can’t even express how grateful I am that you’ve made
me feel so welcome. Thank you for that.”
Leo was up next, and she glanced nervously around the circle.
“You probably all know that I have trouble sometimes putting my
feelings into words, so I tend to keep quiet. I hope you haven’t
thought it was because I didn’t feel things, because I do.” She
cleared her throat and fixed her gaze on Maria and Sandy. “It’s
really easy to take things for granted, as if they’re going to be
there all the time. I just want you all to know that you can take
me for granted, because no matter what happens you’ll have my
friendship forever. I love all of you.”
Maria sniffed loudly. “Damn you, Leo!”
When Leo dropped her hand and met Maria in a long hug,
Claudia felt a surprising wave of envy at their emotional embrace.
It was possessive and silly to feel that way, but she was closer to
Leo than she was to anyone else in the room, even Sandy, and she
jealously wanted Leo to feel the same way about her. When Leo
returned to her side, she staked her claim by snagging her hand
again, squeezing firmly.
They turned their attention to Sandy and Maria, who then
shared stunning news of their upcoming move to San Luis
Obispo. Despite their obvious excitement about their new gallery
and dream home, the announcement received mixed reactions
from around the room, since none of their friends liked the idea
of them moving away.
As they were sitting down, Maria suddenly clapped her hands.
“Oh, I forgot the bread.”
“I’ll help,” Claudia offered, following her into the kitchen
and out of earshot of the others. “I didn’t want to say this in
front of everybody, but I’ll let you in on a little secret. I think it’s
terrific you’re moving down the coast. It’s only a half hour from
Cambria.”
Maria’s eyes twinkled as she leaned her head close and lowered
her voice. “That’s not the only secret around here. I think Leo
might be falling in love with you.”
She felt her face grow heated under Maria’s teasing gaze.
“Why do you say that? What did she say?”
“It’s just a feeling I got. Nothing specific.” She glanced over
her shoulder to make sure they were still alone. “We were out
on the deck when you started up the road, and she practically
knocked me down to get into the house.”
“She was probably just surprised to see me. We’re friends,
that’s all.”