things worse, though.”
“That’s okay. I’ll get word to him.”
“We’ll all pitch in to get Jeremy through this. I’ll be finishing
up my internship in a couple of weeks, but I’ll make sure Miss
Irwin knows to be on the lookout for any problems.” Claudia
couldn’t resist offering a gentle hug. “Good luck with all you’re
going through.”
She watched from the office lobby as Mrs. Erikson joined
her son and took his hand. Her smile, though obviously forced,
noticeably cheered the boy.
Leo handed over the diaper bag to Sheila Barnhill, who
had secured her toddler son in his car seat. Mrs. Barnhill had a
standing appointment every four weeks for photos, which Leo
suspected she sent to everyone she knew. At each session, she
extolled her “miracle” child, who had finally been conceived after
more than twenty years of trying to get pregnant. All parents
were proud, Leo thought, but this one took the cake.
“Thank you. I’ll call you when they come in and put you down
for another appointment next month. Bye-bye Joshua.” She made
an exaggerated happy face and waved, a gesture he completely
0
ignored. At least he had looked at her when it mattered.
When Mrs. Barnhill backed out, Leo turned to smile at
Claudia’s car, which occupied her other customer space. A folded
note was wedged beneath the windshield wiper.
Saw you were busy, so I went for a walk. Hope I’ll see you when I
get back.
She returned to the house for a jacket and sat on the porch
swing to wait. The only other person who ever dropped by
unannounced was Patty, and Leo had to admit she appreciated
the break from her routine. She hadn’t heard from Patty since
the Halloween party, and Maria confirmed she had hooked up
with Joyce, a dental hygienist who had moved to the area from
Chicago a couple of years ago. It was nice to think Patty had
found someone to make happy with her kindness and attention.
Claudia appeared just as the sun was setting, her head hanging
low, as if she were lost in concentration. She made it all the way
to the top of the steps without seeing Leo on the swing.
“Hey, stranger.”
“Leo!” Her face lit up in a smile. “Did you get my note?”
“Yeah, I was busy shooting baby pictures. I thought about
walking down to meet you but I was afraid we might pass each
other on different streets.” She slid over on the swing to make
room and Claudia joined her.
“It’s okay. I needed to get out there and clear my head.”
“Something wrong?”
“I had to deal with a tough incident at school today.” As
Claudia related the story of a boy in her class whose parents were
getting a divorce, her voice quivered with sadness. It was moving
to see her so profoundly affected. “In college we studied all about
how to teach reading and math, and how to get the kids excited
about history and science, but we didn’t talk enough about how
to handle kids like Jeremy. I just wanted to beat up his mother
and father for hurting him like that.”
“I see that sort of thing too. People come in for their
family Christmas cards every year, and then one year they’ll
show up without the dad. A year later it’s a stepdad and new
0
siblings. It’s very sad, especially for the kids.” Leo’s parents
had rarely disagreed, let alone fought. The worst problem she
could remember was her mother’s discontent with the weekend
schedule, which limited their family time. Still, they were closer
than most families, especially since she worked with her father.
“I can’t believe adults can be so selfish. If you’re going to
have kids, you have to honor your commitment to them. They
should act like grownups and work out their differences. All that
matters is what’s best for the kid.”
“Maybe for some people it’s better if they split up.”
Claudia shook her head vehemently. “I don’t buy that. I think
it’s just a cop-out so they can dump their guilt.”
“I’m not so sure about that. Like my friend Patty, the woman
you met at the Halloween party. Her parents divorced when she
was little. From some of the things she told me, her father was
pure evil. She said it was the happiest day of her life when he
moved out.”
“Okay, so once in a while it’s better to split up, but Patty’s the
exception. Besides, I don’t think that’s what’s happening with the
Eriksons. Andrew Erikson seems like a very nice guy who cares
about his son. And Jeremy isn’t relieved about him leaving. He’s
frantic. If a mom and dad don’t want to live together they should
move into separate rooms, but nobody should get to just walk
away.”
Despite how much she wanted to take Claudia’s side, Leo
didn’t agree with her on this subject. She knew too many women
who had left their husbands and taken the kids because they
couldn’t live a lie anymore. It was just as big a lie to pretend you
loved someone. The way she saw it, it was perfectly understandable
to sacrifice for your children, but not at the expense of your own
sanity. That wasn’t good for anyone.
“This is personal to me,” Claudia said heavily, kicking the
floor to start the swing. “From the time I was little, I was Daddy’s
little girl. My mom and I just rubbed each other the wrong way.
We still do, but I don’t let it bother me anymore. When I was
about eight or nine I heard them arguing and my dad told her
0
he wanted a divorce. She said fine, but that she and I would stay
in the house and he would move out. Dad came to my room
that night and told me he was going, but he promised to come
and get me every weekend and he said I could stay with him
in the summer. I thought my whole world was falling apart. I
couldn’t bear the thought of living with just my mother, and I
acted exactly like Jeremy Erikson did.”
Leo listened with growing sympathy. No wonder this had hit
Claudia so hard.
“I begged him not to go, but he said he had to, that he couldn’t
live with my mom anymore. So I pulled out the only weapon I
had—I ran away.”
Leo dropped her foot to stop the swing, nearly throwing
Claudia onto the porch. “You actually ran away?”
“Yeah, I went about a half mile to my grandmother’s and hid
in the crawl space under her house. I came out late that night
when I got hungry and rang the doorbell.” She rolled her eyes and
smirked. “If I ever got shipwrecked I’d be dead in two days.”
“Your parents must have been worried sick.”
“They were, and after a couple of days my dad said he’d
changed his mind about the divorce, and that he wouldn’t ever
leave me.”
Leo started their swing again. “That’s an amazing story.”
“I’ve never told anybody before. It’s sort of the family secret,
not just that I ran away but that m
y parents almost got divorced.
I used to feel really guilty about it, because I knew I was forcing
my dad to stay there when he wasn’t happy. But when I got my
driver’s license I told him he could do whatever he wanted to do,
that I’d be okay with it. He said he’d made his peace with my
mom, and he was glad he stuck around.”
“And you want Jeremy’s father to do the same thing.”
She nodded. “Maybe some kids can handle it, but I don’t
think Jeremy can. This is going to break his heart. I just don’t see
how his parents can do that to him.”
“I understand where you’re coming from.” They rocked
silently for several minutes. With this new perspective, Leo saw
0
clearly why Claudia was taking the whole incident so hard.
“I should have known today was going to suck. I dropped my
necklace in the bathroom this morning and shattered the jade.”
Her bottom lip stuck out in a pout, prompting Leo to drape
an arm around her shoulder in a supportive hug. The urge to
plant a kiss on her temple was almost overwhelming, but she
touched her fingertips to that spot instead. “I’m sorry you’ve had
such a bad day.”
She felt Claudia relax into her shoulder, but it lasted only
an instant. Then Claudia abruptly patted her knee and stood.
“Thanks for letting me drop in like this. I hope I didn’t interrupt
your session.”
“Not a problem at all. You can come by whenever you
want.” Leo was mortified that her physical gesture had gone past
Claudia’s comfort zone. She had only meant it as a friendly hug.
“I should go.” Claudia started for the steps and stopped. “Oh,
I almost forgot. Mike called last night and he’s coming home to
San Simeon this weekend. I’m going to have to miss our shoot
on Sunday.”
Leo’s heart sank, not because Claudia would miss their session,
or even because she was going home to see Mike. What worried
her more was the tremor in Claudia’s voice, and the possibility
this was a permanent brush-off.
She was shocked when Claudia suddenly closed the distance
between them and wrapped her arms around her neck. “Thanks
for listening, Leo. I really needed a shoulder today.”
Her arms went around Claudia’s waist and she released a
breath of relief. “You’ve always got one here.”
“I’ll call you when I get back. We’ll pick another time to do
the photo shoot.”
Leo slumped back into the swing as Claudia disappeared
around the corner to her car. What could have been a very
awkward parting had instead become more evidence of their
genuine friendship. Now that she didn’t have to worry she had
crossed a line, she could focus her anxiety on Claudia spending
the weekend with Mike.
Claudia accelerated past the entrance to her apartment
complex and merged onto the Pacific Coast Highway. The last
thing she wanted was to be closed up with her emotions inside her
small apartment. Her head was spinning from the events of the
day, the most unsettling of which was the feeling that had come
over her when Leo’s arm went around her shoulder. It wasn’t that
she had never been physically comforted by her girlfriends or
college chums, but none of them had made her feel so precious
and protected. She had wanted to nestle into Leo’s embrace and
stay there. Instead, she had panicked and jumped to her feet.
The sensation had overtaken her, triggering something far
more personal than just a feeling of support. There was no way
Leo had meant to convey anything other than sympathy and
friendship, and would probably be shocked to realize where her
head had gone. At least she had realized her reaction and pulled
away before making a fool of herself.
How on earth had Leo aroused such an intensive response?
She had never felt a rush of warmth that strong, not even from
Mike. Then again, she had never felt comfortable talking with
Mike about such deeply personal things. It wasn’t that she kept
secrets, but he didn’t believe in airing dirty laundry because it
only gave people ammunition to tear him down. That was more
of his father’s business influence, but until now it hadn’t occurred
to her how much it stifled their communication, along with her
freedom to share her emotions.
“Maybe I’m really a lesbian,” she said aloud, chuckling
uncomfortably. Or maybe she just needed to accept that her
relationship with Mike was only a sliver of who she was. Her
parents had one another, but they also had full lives with friends
and interests outside of their marriage. It was silly to expect Mike
to meet all of her needs, and perfectly normal to have a friend
with whom she connected on an emotional level, even if that
friend just happened to be a lesbian.
The thing with Leo bothered her for another reason though,
one she was only now beginning to confront. Why had she been
drawn to her in the first place, and why had it been so important
to gain her confidence and friendship? Sandy said Leo didn’t let
many people close, so perhaps she felt special to be the exception.
Right from the start, she felt privileged because Leo had let her
inside a gate where few others had been, showing her through the
house, talking about her plans and dreams, even sharing personal
details about her past relationships.
So why had Leo singled her out? Was there something
that. Leo had done nothing out of line. Claudia was the one who
was fluttering because of a friendly embrace. She needed to get a
grip before she did something that sent out the wrong message.
Chapter 16
Present Day
Eva’s shoulders sagged. “You must think we’re all pompous
boors.”
Leo chortled. “Not all of you.”
“Fair enough.”
“Don’t worry about it. It comes with the territory. Weddings
are stressful. Believe me, I’ve seen it all.”
Eva looked longingly at a marble bench, fluffed her ivory
gown and leaned delicately against the balcony rail instead.
“What was the worst thing you’ve ever seen?”
Leo mentally sifted through thirty years of memories. “I’ve
seen fistfights, no-shows…even one wedding that stopped right
in the middle when the bride changed her mind. The pictures
of that one were incredible.” She laughed and shook her head to
recall how she had been so absorbed in taking photos that she
hadn’t realized what was happening. “The strangest was one time
when the groom was so frazzled he forgot his vows. The bride
was so obsessed with having the perfect wedding that she made
the whole wedding party leave the church so they could start
over from the beginning.”
“Now that’s what I call obsessive.”
The stepstool looked inviting to take a load off, but Leo
resisted out of empathy for Eva. “A lot of little girls grow up
thinking this is going to be the most important day of their lives.
That turns everything into high stakes. If your most important
day gets screwed up, what does that say about your life?”
“I see what you mean, but I don’t think about it that way.
Don’t get me wrong—marrying Todd is the biggest thing I’ve
ever done, but that has nothing to do with this circus. This is all
Grandmother’s doing. She’s the one that’s stressed.”
“I can see that.”
Eva laughed softly. “I’ll let you in on a little secret, but
whatever you do, you can’t ever tell her.”
Leo crossed her heart with her fingers, already smiling in
anticipation of Eva’s news.
“Todd and I got married for real on Wednesday afternoon
at the courthouse in San Francisco. The judge he’s going to
clerk for performed the ceremony in his chambers, and the only
people there were his parents, and my mom and grandpa. It was
perfect, so no matter what happens today, that’s how I’m going to
remember my wedding.”
“Now there’s a terrific story if I ever heard one.
Congratulations.”
“Thanks. We sort of did it on a whim because Grandmother
was getting worse by the minute. She kept calling to tell me
about all these important friends of hers, and why it was absolutely
imperative they be present, so I said fine, invite whoever you want.
I don’t even know most of these people.”
“These things sometimes take on a life of their own.”
“And then there’s Aunt Deborah and her poor little dog. If
you ask me, I think they both need to be on tranquilizers. Oh, and
this Chantal person! She refused the orchid shipments because
they were lavender and she had ordered purple. I felt so sorry
for the poor delivery guy that I insisted on keeping the ones he
brought, and I think Mom slipped him three hundred dollars for
having to put up with that abuse.”
The more Leo heard from Eva Pettigrew, the more she liked
her. “If it’s any comfort to you, a lot of hardworking people are
getting paid today thanks to your wedding.”
“That’s what Todd said…Grandmother’s money raining
down on all the little people. Now if we could just get through
the day without insulting all of them.”
“Don’t sweat it too much. The only person you have to look