I Love Him!, Page 2

  April 22, 2012

  …I am holding my photo album; my memories are playing before my eyes as though those events occurred only a few days ago. I really want to get back those days again; I would reorder many things the way I want. The only thing that made me cry was when I didn't find my cat that I had for a pet. My family gave me whatever I wanted when I was a kid, but they deprived me of the thing that I really desired when I grew up; they don't know that I really wish they had given me nothing except the one I wanted five years ago.

  Here is my picture when I was six years old with my family in a garden; I thought that life is a heaven, but when I got older I discovered that it is not. This garden is located in a city we used to visit every summer; it is a city full of magic and wonder; it is full of my childhood memories. On the picture; my parents, my sister, Sarah, and my brothers, Ahmed and Mohammed, look tidy and organized; they were smiling as though they were enjoying sitting on the paradise's rivers. But I was crying; tears are crystal clear on my rosy cheeks. I had never cried that hard before till I reached my twenties.

  "Forget about her; now! I promise I will take you wherever you want and allow you to be with anyone you want to be with!" Daddy promised me kindly.

  I was crying because of a little girl I knew there; her parents visited that garden too, we played together for long hours; I liked her a lot. Since she was the only little kid I played with, I didn’t want her to go. So when her parents decided to get back home, I cried for hours till I received my dad's promise which turned me into a happy, peaceful and a relaxed little butterfly. My father didn't tell me that this promise won't last forever.

  I am looking at another picture of myself; the first day I started studying. I was seven years old when my father got me admitted in a local school; back then I loved my school, my teacher, and I had a special love and incredible passion for learning. After thirteen years, I got my Baccalaureate exam with a high degree. After a long discussion, my family accepted and decided to send me to New York to continue studying there.

  I was twenty years old when I left my family; moving to another country for the sake of learning, and getting a high grade. I was an ambitious girl who dreamt of being a social activist, and to take high positions in society. I cared a lot about under-privileged people so that I was always writing about their problems; seeking the change.

  April 04, 2012

  These first days in New York are very difficult for me, I have felt anxious and what my school counselor considers culture shock, the idea of not having my family here; tortures me every second of the day. I feel all alone. But I always wanted to go to college on my own and live on campus. But everything was so different; people, the weather, religion, the mentality, traditions, customs, even the buildings didn’t seem like ours. At first, everything was black and white; but I didn’t care, only except for learning. I won't lie to you; I used to wear very simple black Hijabs and white scarves; I didn’t care a lot about my appearance which revealed how I saw things; black and white. For months, I forgot how to laugh, relax, and enjoy the moment.

 

  Entry.. 06/12/2012

  I was the only Muslim girl in my class, but, honestly, most of my classmates respected me and I did so in return. But it was that guy, named Alex, this American guy who respected me a lot; I noticed him writing poems and short stories. He is a very kind, caring and ambitious guy who believes in god and in himself. But it turns out he is a Catholic guy!!!