Lost Treasures 6

Lost Treasures 6

  by Kennie Kayoz

  Copyright 2014 Coyotes Publishing

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  When we took over the old company created by myself and Crystal, it turns out we had a bunch of unreleased material, which wasn't just done by myself but also Crystal, so I thought I would get things listed for people to check them out...

  Down

  Working where I do is crap

  Almost think I'd be better off getting the strap

  Both sting like hell and make me cry

  Inside wishing that I could die

  Hell has got to be better than this

  Doubt I'll get my wedded bliss

  Never doing anything right

  Life is nothing but an unfair fight

  Try my best in all I do

  Yet all I do is sit there feeling blue

  Nothing pleases them, now or then

  Wishing I had more than one friend

  Someone to lean on and cry with

  Seems for me friendship is a myth

  All on my own, quiet as can be

  Wishing in life I could only see

  The good that comes to those who wait

  Sadly, that will never be my fate

  Waiting around for all of time

  Always feeling like I am blind

  Can't see the good, only the bad

  Perhaps that's why I'll always be sad

  I've always felt so down

  In my sorrows, forever I shall drown.

  ~ Jessica

  Here I Sit

  Writing these thoughts in my head.

  Hoping that they will resolve themselves through this lead.

  From the pencil that I write, unable to erase anything that is inside.

  Just spellin mistakes but they come as time goes.

  Watching things take shape as my poetry flows.

  I never knew what things could have been.

  I never know why I never did seen.

  The future ahead of me and left the past where it was.

  Not wanting to look ahead nor behind.

  Always having to walk with the blind.

  Don't want to see the future.

  To focused on the past and current.

  Watching it take me away, making me something that I'm not.

  Watching my soul an corpse begin to rot.

  A shell is what I begin holding all the emotions that I can.

  I never know where to look for help.

  I never know where to turn when I seek it.

  The ideas from my head rip me apart from the inside.

  They tormented thoughts are only here to join the ride.

  Here I sit looking down at the blank paper.

  Never knowing which voice in my head to trust as they most seem lower than a whisper.

  Do I, or should I leave it.

  Would I or don't I believe it.

  - Shane Diamond -

  How Bored Am I?

  How bored am I here at work

  Earlier today I had the biggest jerk

  Standing 'round waiting on time

  The flow of people stopped on a dime

  No people here but staff

  To myself I just laugh

  So tired from working this double

  Every thought like a bubble

  Into space I stare, lost in thought

  In this hell I feel I shall rot

  How bored am I

  Just staring at the sky

  Counting down the hours 'till I go home

  Wishing the streets I could roam

  Anything to flee from this place

  Anything to be with my own race

  In a place where I'm not the only one

  Who speaks English, and not just for fun

  I tone them out, especially today

  Because I'm just that bored.

  ~ Jessica

  Into Space

  Staring off at the wall

  Feeling like I'm about to fall

  Free as a bird without a care

  Feeling the wind blow through my hair

  Into space I travel again

  Floating free, holding only a pen

  On the walls I begin to write

  Hoping my mind will soon take flight

  These wonderful walls of white

  In my mind I've reached a new height

  Floating free into space

  Coming down, the clouds I'll chase

  Returning home to find you here

  Sit and wait and have a beer

  Fluffy feet go running past

  Guess it's not 'home at last'

  Still off in space with such a buzz

  Everything around me has some fuzz

  Which way is up and which is down

  Reality returns, and I'm left with a frown.

  ~ Jessica

  It Pains Me

  It pains me having to tell you to eat without me.

  Having to sit in pain while you eat food that smells so good.

  It pains me having to sit and watch.

  While we watch TV no food goes in my mouth.

  As I sit holding myself in pain.

  The only one who cares is you.

  You have done so much for me.

  I still sit in pain around you.

  It pains me having to do it.

  I know you don't like seeing me like it.

  I wish the pain would go away.

  I feel as if the pain wont stop till I'm dead.

  while I feel pain I lay in bed.

  Wishing that my heart would stop.

  Even though I know your tears would drop.

  I never like seeing you cry.

  Although I know that you already have them in your eyes.

  It pains me going through all this.

  The thought of things getting better is only a wish.

  I don't see anything like that happening.

  So I guess it's the pain that I'm continued to be forced to live with.

  - Shane Diamond -

  No Children

  The day that you question bout having grand kids.

  Is the day you start wanting to inject your ideas to our eye lids.

  So we'll see things how you see things.

  But when we tell you we're not having kids you get bent out of shape.

  Tears roll down your face, and anger builds you up like an ape.

  Suddenly you don't think I'm good enough for your daughter.

  Feeling that it's me that don't want kids.

  Maybe you should see shit through my eye lids.

  It's ultimately our choice.

  Besides your not well off, you ain't cruising in a rolls royce.

  You've complained that your name needs to live on.

  Then adopt, give the kid your last name and let it move on.

  Once the ring is on her finger.

  Your last name becomes a bitter struggle between the two of you.

  That last name will die with the survivor.

  She always has said that if she happened to be her sister who passed away.

  Life would be perfect, a treasure, a gift, but that's the way the pendulum did sway.

  I never did see things, until the whole baby ordeal got brought up.

  I guess that's another factor in life that we both "failed" at since we decided against what everyone else wants.

  Shane Diamond

  Still Bored

  Slow day today, nothing to do

  Stare at the ceiling thinking of you

  Watch
and wait for time to pass

  Almost like fishing for bass

  Sit and wait, wait and sit

  So bored you think you're going to have a fit

  But then it all pays off and the day is done

  Then it's time to go have fun

  Home from work to be with my man

  This place I work I wish I could ban

  Hate my life, hate my job

  To the world I'm nothing but a slob

  No friends, no fun

  Seems I'm always on the run

  From myself, not the cops

  I guess for that I should get props

  Dishes can wait, I just want to write

  Though I know on this, the manager would fight

  What do I care, been here all bloody day

  5 minutes of peace, let me have my say

  Still bored out of my mind

  A new job I really have to find

  Forever lost in space

  Aching for my special place... My bed.

  ~ Jessica

  The Untitled Poem

  Wanting something I can never have

  Wishing I were the Queen to some elaborate hive.

  Feeling things I haven't fell in a very long time

  Seems for me, life will forever stop on a dime.

  Nothing ever pans out

  Sitting around with a pout

  Why not me ? Why not this once ? I ask

  Wishing right now I had a flask

  Life sucks, always has, always will

  This void in my life, never to fill

  Days turn to weeks, then a month, next a year

  Everything surrounds me in fear.

  I want to make a change but I don't know where to start

  Seeing as how I'm not "school smart"

  A life of fast food seem to be all I'll get

  A life full of stress and regret

  Wanting something to call my own

  Not always living in the in-laws home.

  Seeing others with what I want makes me sad.

  But then I look at you and only feel glad.

  Because you're my rock, my all.

  And without you, I would surly fall.

  Jessica Diamond

  To Jessica...

  We've been together for what is going on 6 years.

  I still don't know how you manage to be so amazing.

  It seems that everything I want you try to supply me with.

  Including accepting my hand in wedded bliss.

  The money is always a tight thing for us.

  I know we have our good days, our bad seems to be filled with cuss.

  How we don't think things are gonna get any better.

  I still remember you in bed with your broken leg.

  Anythin you wanted, u knew I'd get you.. u didn't need to beg.

  I would have gone to the ends of the earth.

  To see that anything u wanted, u got first.

  Our lives seem to be filled with more downs than ups.

  As we sit here continue to gain weight, feelin like we need to do sit ups.

  Baby I'm still surprised you stuck with me over the years.

  Now your trying to help our dreams take off.

  Wouldn't it be a dream if 4E became our lives.

  Be able to earn the pay.

  No more shitty job will make u stay.

  Write bout the problems that you got.

  The day things seem grim.

  I was worried that shit was going to take a step back.

  You tried your best for us to keep shit up to date.

  But it seems like just like our lives, our site is becoming second rate.

  I have the feeling that this is going to be a fight.

  Hopefully in the end we'll feel what we done was right.

  Money is always the issue.

  It seems as if it always brings us to tissues

  I wish for once something would work out for us.

  But I feel as if we have issues with trust.

  As we do it with the wrong people.

  Which gets our emotions high as a steeple.

  Then we crash, and burn.

  You figure we would have to learn.

  But we haven't...

  I'll always love you.

  Even though you have spots of black and blue.

  My clumsy little girl.

  - Shane Diamond -

  Torn

  Have you ever felt so torn apart

  Where your mind says one thing, but it's not in your heart ?

  Where you feel any decision is wrong ?

  Feeling like a window shattered by a horrible song.

  Welcome to my life.

  So sad that somedays I just want to pick up a knife.

  Torn between what I want and what I feel

  Always wanting to know which emotions are real

  What does he want, what about her ?

  I feel like I'm out in the cold shivering....burr.

  No decision I make is right.

  Always my mind and my heart fight.

  Torn between whom to please.

  Feeling like that never to come sneeze

  You feel the tickle, but never release

  Why can't I just be deceased ?

  Thoughts race through my mind

  Catching those thoughts, my heart will never find.

  All I want is to know what to do.

  Sitting, waiting, wondering if it's "you"

  Momma wants ya, Daddy doesn't know,

  And me, I just want to go with the flow

  A decision I don't know if I'll ever make.

  But atleast the decision is mine to take.

  Jessica Diamond

  What To Do

  What to do, what to do

  The sky is not blue

  Nothing sounds good

  At least nothing I should

  Want to drink and sleep

  Somewhere inside I want to weep

  Bored with work and life

  Want to end it all with a knife

  Be rid of this existence I hate

  Knowing deep down that isn't my fate

  To take the easy way out

  That's not what life's about

  Watching as the puddles form below

  The lights softly aglow

  With this peace of mind

  My strength should be easy to find

  But alas, I am weak

  Like a piercing through your cheek

  I am but flesh and blood

  Though I feel like a stick in the mud

  Always in the way

  Listening to what others say

  Sitting and wondering what to do

  When outside is anything but blue.

  ~ Jessica