relationship, to own it and make it real, is breaking, and we can’t just skip
the part where we stare and take the time to fully realize what’s happening.
Truthfully, my legs are much worse with the scarring, but everyone
resumes their eagerness to consummate our apparent engagement as that
pivotal moment passes and I let my insecurities fall away. Arrogant
bastards. I was never properly asked, nor did I actually say yes.
“It still counts, baby. You’re wearing the ring, aren’t you? And what did I
say about getting out of your head? Let’s get you all prettily splayed out on
the bed so we can see all of you.”
“No mind control tricks allowed, Alex. That was eerie how well you just
figured out what I was thinking about.”
“Nah, I told you. We know you. And it’s not mind control, simply being
the observant fiancé you deserve.”
“Amelia Poppy, were you thinking that the engagement doesn’t count
because we technically didn’t ask?” I pout in the direction of Cam’s voice.
“Not you, too.”
Theo is suddenly there, pulling me from Alex and holding me as he
walks us to his bed, hovering over me and kissing up and down my chest.
“Amelia, it’s a done deal.”
I hear belts unbuckling and clothing shuffling, things plopping on the
floor. It seems unfair that I get all these amazing men that are apparently
inserting themselves into my life against their better judgement, but I can’t
actually see how beautiful they are.
My hands are reaching out to get to know Theo’s body again, tracing
everywhere. Someone sneaks up to my left, and I’m grateful for how dark
Constantine’s hair is because even though everything is fuzzy, I can see that
part that says which part of my soul is near. He’s kissing my palm, putting it
on his cheek and encouraging me to touch his shoulders, then his chest.
“I want you to know every inch of me baby, because I plan to get to
know every inch of you.”
Fuck. Me.
I give up trying to talk or think, giving into all the bare skin presented to
me. I stop trying to decipher who is where, trying to keep every limb
straight that is wrapping around me and touching me. It’s much easier this
way.
Maybe some people enjoy being blindfolded and tied up, immobilized,
when they’re having sex, but it’s going to be the norm for me. I don’t get a
choice, so I stop trying to find ways to imagine it different. I’m rewarded
for my loss of control by more pleasure than I’d have thought possible,
letting them roll me around, kiss me at whim, place my body exactly how
they want it so they can use it.
And in some ways, I feel strong in this moment, because this, this is
something I can do. Maybe I can’t take control of them and ride them like I
want, but then someone’s behind me, naked hips pressed against me and
rocking mine for me. Lifting me, pushing me onto Cam, hands helping me
move with Alex.
It’s their voices that do it the most for me. The way they let those sexy
grunts out, like they’re trying to hold it in but it’s just too good to keep to
themselves. I hear rumbles and whispers of my name, fingers gripping into
my flesh as I call all their names, sweat binding us together as we become
one.
I was suddenly incredibly thankful my doctor had talked me into the birth
control shot. Didn’t think I’d ever need it, but she said it would be good for
me since I’m immobile and a pregnancy would need extra consideration.
Okay, she was right. Because in this moment, I’m not freaking out that I’ve
got four different DNA strands leaking out of me, coating my thighs.
They all keep promising me they think I’m beautiful, that the way my
body takes them is perfect and that the way I let them all touch me is a gift.
I’m trembling by the time I think everyone is finally spent, after round after
round of promises and countless orgasms from all of us.
I lay gasping, clinging on to some part of each of them, feeling nothing
but strength, finally, for owning what my heart wants and not letting any
trickle of doubt enter my mind that this is wrong. If my teachers could see
me now, I’m certain they’d be throwing holy water at me. But if I was
destined to be wicked, shouldn’t I at least enjoy the spoils?
Theo
“It’s going to be fine, Amelia. And if it’s not, we just leave, okay? Tell
me right now you don’t want to go sit in this sunshine and let the cool water
soak your feet and I’ll plan our escape. I know it’s scary to start getting
back into the world, but it’s only going to get easier the more you do it.”
The other guys were a little more willing to push her, because the history
they had together bound them so tightly. They weren’t worried she’d try
and get out of anything because they pushed her too much. I was still firmly
in the ‘this is delicate, and I can’t give her any reason to not want me’
camp.
I’m not even sure, exactly, how in the last month we’d gone from
roommates that didn’t talk about feelings, to being engaged. But the way
she kept letting us lay claim to her proved it was real. Miraculously, she
loved me the way I loved her.
I know we’ll get shit from people that don’t understand. The world likes
to stuff people in boxes and expect them to be happy about it. If anyone in
the world was capable of having a heart big enough to love this many men
so wholly, it was Amelia. And after everything her family had put her
through, she fucking deserved it.
I’d sat in on therapy sessions, listened to her therapist suggest that maybe
she leached onto those three so hard and loved them so purely because of
the way she was denied any affection earlier in her life. It makes sense.
Withhold a basic human need, and when it’s finally given, it’s amplified and
strengthened.
So, yeah, maybe our marriage wouldn’t be ‘legal’, but does it really
fucking matter what the government thinks about my status? They weren’t
in my bed, nor in my home.
Today was a big test, taking her to the creek where she never got to go
because she was a fucking prisoner. She’s worried people will talk about
her, because she’s blind and can’t walk. I think people will talk because
she’s still the most beautiful woman around and with all these guys around
her, her happiness is radiant and hard to look away from.
She doesn’t protest anymore as we park, so I know she’s committed to
getting out now. It’s too nice out to not enjoy it, but I’m shocked when we
get her comfy and she whips her t-shirt off, rocking the bikini top and the
tiny shorts that I regretted buying for her now.
The more we touch her, the more confident she grows with the way her
body looks now. When she had been healing, she was so convinced that her
body would be hideous, that her life was on a different trajectory now
because she honestly believed no one could love something like her.
The Amelia I see now is an entirely new human being. Shorts? Why not?
She had finally accepted
that she earned the right to those scars, that she
fought through them and that she didn’t have to worry about offending
anyone with how they looked because the texture of them was now a
comfort to her. It was undeniable proof of what she’d gone through to be
here with us and to be who she wants to be.
She was giving us all carte blanche on her wardrobe, telling us she
couldn’t see it, so it didn’t matter. That might bite her in the ass later.
Alex settles in behind her, putting her in between his legs and wrapping
his arms around her.
The creek is a little busy today, and there are definitely people looking,
but I’m not going to point it out. This day was for us. Cam is so sweet with
her it would be sick if I didn’t know how honest his feelings were, if I
weren’t feeling the same exact way.
He’s all hand feeding her, high attention, making sure she’s comfortable.
And after hearing how much they were kept apart when they were younger,
I totally get why they’re all so clingy now. I can’t imagine getting the barest
taste of this woman and then being denied her for years. Especially
knowing that she wasn’t being valued or respected or hell, even treated like
a human being with her own thoughts.
I decide to jump in the water, letting the southern heat wash off of me.
The humidity was awful today, but then you couldn’t really have a southern
summer without it. Some days it felt like it wanted to suffocate you.
Today I could tell there was an epic thunderstorm in the making, so the
air was vibrating with the energy of it. For now, the skies were blue and the
sun strong, but it was coming.
“You been down here before?”
Constantine scares me a little sometimes, but I think without Amelia in
the picture he’d be even more of a weird dude. He gave off pretty intense
vibes.
“Maybe in like high school. Not since.”
“I used to fucking hate this place. I swear it gives women the excuse to
just act insane and stir up drama.”
I laugh, because I know exactly what he’s talking about. Every summer
hookup and breakup had some origins with this creek.
“She looks happy though, doesn’t she?”
Constantine follows my eyes to where Amelia is, Cam splashing her a
little and trying to pull her into the water, almost playing tug-of-war with
Alex for her.
“Finally, yeah. I know this is all a little…strange, but I’m glad you’re
with us, man. You bring…like a steadiness that she needs.”
And cue the drama.
“Haven’t seen you out in awhile, Constantine. Who’s your friend?”
Two women, looking at Constantine with a bit too much enthusiasm.
“I’m his lover, Theo.”
This does exactly what I wanted it to do. They stop their forward
momentum, unsure whether to laugh at the joke or pull back and be
embarrassed that they’re hitting on someone that bats for the other team.
I can see Constantine biting back a smile. Honestly, with the way we all
touch Amelia with our dicks out, it’s really not too much of a stretch. Did I
actually want to put mine in him? No, not really. Was there accidental
touching? Well, yeah. One woman, remember?
“Sorry, ladies, I’m taken.”
He moves a half step closer to me and that seems enough for them to
realize I might be telling the truth. They start looking for an excuse to swim
off, and some frat boy canon-balling nearby does the trick as they shriek at
being splashed. You know, while they’re standing in a body of water, in
swimming garments. The. Audacity.
“By the way, you might want to return those suits and get your money
back. They seem like defective products. They’re definitely not covering
enough for them to be sold as swim wear.”
Constantine finally loses it, turning his back to them to swim back to
Amelia and the others, laughing his ass off. I trail behind him and act like a
proper boyfriend, throwing an arm around his shoulder when he stops
moving.
“Amelia, you didn’t tell me Theo was…so outspoken. How has this gone
on so long without you two getting into trouble together?”
“Oh, we’ve gotten into plenty of trouble. Just not the kind you’re
thinking.”
“Okay so this one day, I had gotten off work a bit early and thought I’d
surprise her with some takeout. I got her favorite fried chicken, big jug of
tea, biscuits, the works. I thought maybe we could have a picnic out in the
garden, the cicadas had just started their summer singing and it was just too
cool to ignore.”
“Oh God, Theo. No. No, no no. I’m going to stop you right there,
because-”
Alex gives her to Cam, who pulls her into the water, pulling her under
water quickly to get her to stop interrupting. She comes back up sputtering,
shock on her face, but he kisses her, and she totally forgets what she was
about to say. Teamwork at its best.
“You were saying, lover?”
I shoot Constantine a wink and pick back up. “Anyway, she had knocked
her canvas over and couldn’t quite get the leverage to put it back up, and I
guess she had some sort of artistic breakthrough, wanted to try something
new.
“NOOO!!!”
Amelia makes a play for me and Cam just gently clamps her arms down,
kissing her again. Very effective way to stop the noise.
her knickers and a sports bra, rolling around in the paint. She’s COVERED.
But she’s also like, super into what she’s doing so it takes her way too long
to realize I’m standing there, watching her move all worm-like on the
canvas, using her nails to etch things deeper into the paint.
“It took like, five shampoos to get her hair brown again. And thank God I
had been there, Amelia, I’m not sure how you were planning on getting
yourself out of that one and to the bathroom, without covering the entire
place in paint.”
The guys start cracking up, imagining this scene I’ve just described, and
Amelia is a bit red, but she’s also damn adorable. I pull her into my arms,
whispering to her. “You know, that painting is still one of my favorites.
That’s why it’s right above my bed, I couldn’t stop thinking about your skin
touching all that canvas.”
She shivers in my arms and kisses my neck, relaxing into my embrace.
“Oh my god. Amelia? Amelia Poppy? EEEEE!!!!”
All the guys groan and Amelia tenses, but stays in my arms like I can be
her armor. She chooses to not do much social interacting because it’s just
not her favorite thing.
“Girl, where have you been? I swear, everyone thought you, you know.
But you’re not! Just as pretty as you used to be.”
The horde of women gets closer, and the guys do as well, almost fanning
out in a line so they’re right next to Amelia in case it goes south quickly.
Because let’s be honest, it probably will.
“Uh, I’m sorry. I can’t really see. I recognize your voice, but it’s just been
so long…”
&nb
sp; “Becky, you silly thing! And you remember Allie and Jill and Joanna?”
They’re looking, but they’re not looking at Amelia.
“Umm, hi.”
“So, where you been hiding?”
I know this is what Amelia was most worried about, having to explain
her condition to anyone from her past, dealing with a skewed vision of who
she is because of it. But she was the strongest fucking woman I knew after
all she’d been through, so I know she’s got this.
“I, uh, just don’t get out much.”
“Girl, we’ve got to get out! Hit the town and dance! What do you say?”
Some of the girls she brought with her are snickering a little, and I realize
they all know exactly why that won’t happen. I also see all three of her
other guys tense up, faces immediately turning red and veins popping out. If
these chicks were men, they’d for sure be about to get punched in the face.
“Wow. I hadn’t realized we were still in high school.”
“Excuse me?”
The guys snap their heads to Amelia, waiting for permission to…do
something. But I know can handle some petty women, I can feel it in the
steady rise of her breath and the way her shoulders straighten out that she’s
done being anyone’s doormat.
“Oh come on, I’m blind and lame, not deaf. Unfortunately, you aren’t
either. You obviously know why I wouldn’t be able to go dancing, as I
obviously know your friends with my bitch of a cousin Sophie.
“And judging by the way one of your cronies just laughed at your
suggestion, I’m assuming you came over here to rub it in my face that I
can’t walk. Am I getting close?”
“Wow, you turned into a bitch, didn’t you?”
Now it’s Amelia’s turn to laugh, but it’s definitely not a nice one. It kind
of makes me rock hard though, because I know she’s about to throw down.
“You thought making fun of the handicap would make you feel better
about yourself, didn’t you? That’s why you really came over here. You saw
an easy target and thought to yourself, ‘hey, let’s go fuck up her perfectly
good day because I’m an evil cunt with zero personality. Joke’s on you
though, because my day isn’t ruined. Yours very might well be because
you’re having to rely on someone you haven’t spoken to in years to point
out how much you suck.