Finding You, Page 2

Rolling my eyes, I threw my purse and phone onto the passenger seat and headed back to the house I shared with Alex and Will. Now that Luke, Libby, Lauren, and Colt had moved out, it seemed cold and empty all the time. Even when they did live there, I spent more time at Noah’s place than I did at home. Well, at least I did until I freaked out and pushed him away.

  Wiping my tears away, I concentrated on thinking about nothing but my date tonight with Doug. I’ll deal with Alex later. Right now I needed to push Noah Bennet far from my memory. I needed to move on and this date tonight was long overdue.

  Grace

  Rushing into the house, I looked for my book before heading upstairs to my room to check my makeup. Alex just talking about Noah had my emotions all over the place. Closing my eyes, I thought back to the day I ran into him at the hospital. His beautiful smile that about dropped me to the ground replayed over and over in my mind.

  Then I saw her. His wife. Standing next to him. She didn’t seem at all like his type, but hell, maybe I was the one who wasn’t his type.

  Sitting down on the bed I thought about all the things he had said to me. Had he meant a word of it? He sure moved on fast after I told him I needed some time. Shit. He even left A&M.

  Dropping my head into my hands, I cried. “Jesus, Grace. It’s your fault. You pushed him away until he had no choice but to fall into the arms of another woman.”

  With a sinking feeling in my heart, I fell back onto the bed and let out a scream as I stared up at the ceiling. Sitting back up, I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “What’s done is done. It’s time to move on.”

  Picking up my phone, I sent Doug a text. We had exchanged phone numbers the other day for a project we were working on.

  Me: Let’s skip the date part and move straight to dessert.

  It didn’t take Doug long to respond back.

  Doug: Sounds like a solid plan. My place or yours?

  My hands started shaking and I fought the urge to tell him I suddenly got sick and had to cancel.

  Me: Yours. Pick me up at seven.

  Doug: Be ready to have your world rocked.

  Rolling my eyes, I let out a sigh. “Ugh. Jesus H. Christ. Why do all guys think their dicks are the greatest thing since apple pie?”

  Finding my book, I shoved it in my backpack and headed downstairs. Feeling guilty about ignoring Alex, I hit her number and called her.

  “Hey, Grace,” Alex said softly over the phone. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you by giving Noah your number. It’s just . . . well . . . he seemed so desperate to talk to you. He was practically begging me. I really think you need to talk to him.”

  Opening the refrigerator, I let out a fake laugh. “Maybe she sucks in bed and he wants out of the marriage.”

  Alex sighed loudly through the phone. “Grace, please don’t go on the date tonight until you talk to Noah. Please listen to your heart.”

  Closing my eyes, I nodded my head as I whispered, “Alex, it’s been two weeks and he hasn’t called.” Taking in a deep breath, I decided I needed to be honest with Alex and myself. “It’s just . . . Alex, I’m so afraid to talk to him. My feelings for him . . . they’re still so strong even knowing he’s married. What if he wants . . . I mean what if I—I’m not that girl, Alex. I won’t be with a married man.”

  Alex sighed. “I know you wouldn’t and you don’t have to be. Listen, just talk to him when he calls, Grace. I don’t think Doug is truly who you want to move on with, but I understand your thinking behind that.”

  Grabbing my upper lip with my teeth, I bit down hard and nodded my head as I looked at the time on the microwave. “Hey, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “Grace?”

  “Yeah?” I asked as I put my backpack over my shoulder.

  “Don’t go tonight,” Alex whispered.

  I knew this wasn’t a healthy way to live. Sitting around moping about a man whose lips I’d never feel on mine again. I also knew I didn’t really want to have a mindless one-night-stand with Doug. “Great minds think alike, Alex. Doug isn’t who I want to be with. I’ve got to run. See ya later. Love you.”

  “Love you too, sweets!”

  I quickly sent Doug a text telling him something important had come up and I couldn’t make tonight. I prayed like hell he didn’t call me back and just took the rejection and moved on. Grabbing my keys, I dashed out the front door, cursing myself for being late to class. I was already so far behind in all my classes. Turning, I pulled the front door shut and locked it. Spinning around on my heels, I went to walk down the stairs and was stopped dead in my tracks as I sucked in a breath of air.

  Oh. My. God.

  Noah.

  “W-what are you doing here?” I asked in a weak sounding voice.

  Staring back up at me were those beautiful caramel eyes I found myself lost in on more than one occasion.

  “I never got to finish talking to you. I’m glad Lauren’s okay.”

  Fumbling over my words, I asked, “H-how did you know?” Remembering Alex had just told me she talked to Noah, I swallowed hard and attempted to talk again.

  “I mean, yeah, Lauren’s actually in Vegas with Colt. They’re . . . um . . . they’re getting married.”

  Noah smiled and my world rocked on its axis. Lord help me, for his smile does things to my body even still. Swallowing hard, I smiled back.

  “That’s wonderful. I’m really happy for them both. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Lauren yet, but Alex was talking to me at the hospital and filled me in on Lauren’s progress.”

  Yet? He hasn’t met Lauren—yet?

  Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I asked, “Noah, why are you here? I mean you’re . . .” My heart hurt as I tried to speak the words that wouldn’t form in my mouth.

  He’s married now. Just say it, Grace. You need to move on.

  Noah took a step up as I instinctively backed up. No. Please don’t come closer to me. I wanted to beg him to stop. If he came any closer, I’d feel his pull and my heart couldn’t take another break.

  “That’s what I wanted to come and talk to you about, Grace. You mentioned me being married.”

  Swallowing hard, I looked away so he couldn’t see the tears forming in my eyes. It was my fault. I pushed him away. It was no one else’s fault but my own.

  Noah reached the top step. Taking in a deep breath, I smelled that familiar scent of his cologne and I whimpered silently inside. My eyes stung as I forced myself not to look at him.

  Another step closer. My chest was rising up and down so fast as I dragged in breaths of air.

  Noah stopped right in front of me. My body shook as I attempted to push away every memory of him. Every touch. Every kiss. Every romantic word he whispered in my ear as he made love to me.

  My skin exploded when his finger touched my chin. Turning my face to him, his eyes locked with mine. “I’ve missed you so much, and I thought I’d lost you forever, Grace.”

  My mouth parted open as a single tear fell from my eye. “Noah, you’re married and I can’t . . .”

  Leaning in closer to me, I sucked in a breath of air as his eyes landed on my lips. “Grace, my sweet Grace. I’m not married.”

  Alex’s words flooded my mind. “ . . . he seemed so desperate to talk to you. He was practically begging me.”

  Widening my eyes, a sob escaped my lips. “You’re . . . you’re not? Are you sure?”

  Noah laughed softly and nodded his head. “I’m positive, baby.”

  Baby.

  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

  He called me baby.

  My mind drifted back to the girl. Who was the girl he was with at the mall and hospital? “But, I saw you with her. You were registering for your wedding.”Placing his hand on the side of my face, Noah looked into my eyes as he gently moved his thumb across my skin. “That’s Emily, my sister, Grace. She’s the one who got married. When I lost my phone, I lost your number; I didn’t know what to do. There were so many times I wanted to get in my
car and come here. The last thing I wanted to do was show up on your doorstep and find you were with a guy. Looking back, I could kick my own ass for not just coming to you.”

  I slowly shook my head and whispered, “There’s no one but you, Noah.”

  Smiling, Noah spoke softly. “Please don’t push me away again, Grace. I need you. I need you so much.”

  My whole world stopped as I stared at Noah.

  I need you so much.

  Holy shit. Closing my eyes, I dropped my head back against the door and let out a sigh. His sister. All those texts I ignored. The phone calls I sent to voicemail because I thought he was with another woman. If I had just given him the opportunity to explain to me what I saw, I could have saved myself so much heartache.

  My body jumped when I felt his lips against my neck. “Grace, I had to come find you. I needed you to know the truth.”

  Oh God. He came for me.

  Noah came for me.

  Noah

  Grace whimpered as I brushed my lips across her neck. I’d never really known why Grace had decided to stop seeing me. I figured it had to have been because of what happened with her high school boyfriend. She had shared with me how deeply she had been hurt. She even shared her fear of falling in love with me. But I was sure we’d be able to withstand anything as long as we were together. The second I figured out why she had stopped communicating with me altogether, I fought like hell to get to her. She had mistakenly thought I was married. Everything made sense; the short conversations when I ran into her, the ignored phone calls and text messages. Alex had finally broken down and given me Grace’s phone number at the hospital, but my sister Emily said I needed to talk to Grace in person.

  Placing my hands on the sides of Grace’s face, I looked into her eyes. “Grace, I’ve been going insane since we broke up. It’s been pure hell for me in more than one way. I’ve never in my life felt the way I do for anyone like I do for you.”

  Placing her hands on my arms, Grace whispered, “I’m scared, Noah. You have no idea how scared I am.”

  Grace had put up walls the very first time we were together, but I saw the same look in her eyes that was in mine. I never believed in love at first sight until Grace Johnson ran into me one rainy afternoon.

  Leaning my head against hers, I spoke softly. “Me too, Grace. Me too. But I can’t forget what we’ve shared. Grace, I think about you all the time. Do you remember the guitar?”

  Grace giggled as she whispered, “I’d never forget that day. I told myself all I would ever need is you with a guitar and a sunflower and my life would be complete.”

  My mind drifted back as I remembered that day we spent together months after we first started dating.

  Walking up to Grace, I held the teal guitar in my hand as she covered her mouth and laughed. “Man oh man. I didn’t realize you were in a girl band, Noah.”

  Winking, I sat down in front of the little bench Grace was sitting on and I handed her a giant sunflower. Smiling, Grace took it and brought it up to her nose as she inhaled deeply. I positioned the guitar I had just bought from a street vendor on my lap.

  “Don’t be jealous of my good taste, Grace. Be ready for me to rock your world, baby.”

  Rolling her eyes, Grace pulled her knees up and rested her chin. “Let’s see what you got.”

  The way Grace was looking at me had my heart racing with anticipation. I’d taken guitar lessons for years, but I’d never actually sung in front of anyone, and the only people who even knew I played the guitar were my mother and sister.

  Knowing how much Grace loved Sam Hunt, I picked one of his songs to cover. Starting the first cords to “Take Your Time”, I watched as Grace’s face lit up and her eyes danced with excitement.

  Clearing my throat, I started singing to the one and only girl I’d ever dreamed of spending the rest of my life with.

  When the last cord was played, I smiled and watched as Grace slowly stood up.

  “Oh, you’re good. You totally just secured yourself one hell of a night, Mr. Bennet.” Lifting her eyebrow, she said, “Smart thinking pulling the Sam Hunt card.”

  Throwing my head back, I laughed as I drank in the moment.

  Pulling her head back, her eyes widened with panic. “I’m so late for class!”

  Laughing, I took her hand and led her to my car. “I’ll wait for you.”

  Slipping into the front seat of my Nissan GT-R, Grace looked up at me and winked. “Sexy car.”

  Feeling my heart drop, I attempted to play it cool. I’d never had someone affect me the way Grace has. “Ya think so?” I asked with a playful tone.

  Grace’s mouth parted slightly and I imagined her lips on mine. Letting out a quick breath, I shut the door and jogged around to the driver’s side. Getting in, I turned and said, “Where to?”

  Grace stared at me as her eyes looked deep into mine. For a quick moment I panicked. Would Grace get spooked again, or were we done with the push and pull game? What came out of her mouth caused me to totally get my hopes up that we were finished with the games. “I’ve never had sex in a car before . . . let alone a sports car.”

  Swallowing hard, I whispered, “You won’t make it to class if you keep talking, Grace.”

  Licking her lips, Grace smiled. “What class?”

  Closing my eyes, I moaned as I adjusted my hardening dick. Snapping my eyes back open, I cranked the car on and pulled out of the driveway. “Damn it, Grace. It’s been too long since we’ve been together. Let’s get you to class then we’ll talk more.”

  “Killjoy,” Grace whispered as she smiled and looked out the front window.

  Sitting in my car, I waited for Grace to finish up her class. There was no way I was leaving from this spot after being away from her for so long. I had to stop going over and over in my head the fact that I didn’t come after her when I knew I should have. I let her walk away when I knew we both loved each other and belonged together.

  Never again.

  Picking up my phone, I sent my sister a text.

  Me: How’s mom?

  Emily: Okay. Sleeping. She kept asking where you were. Today’s treatment was bad. The doctor wants to talk about stopping the treatments. He said it’s not improving anything. He mentioned moving Mom to the Christopher House.

  Letting out a sigh, I dropped my head back. Hospice. My mother had been fighting invasive epithelial ovarian cancer for the last year. We thought she had won the battle, but the cancer returned. This time with a vengeance.

  Me: Tell her I’ll be back tonight.

  Emily: No! I told her you would be back tomorrow night or the next morning. Noah, you need to talk to Grace. Please. You’ve been miserable since you left A&M. Stay and make things right.

  Feeling the tears threaten my eyes, I closed them and did what I always did when I felt like breaking down. I counted to ten. Opening my eyes slowly, I inhaled a deep breath and slowly blew it out.

  Me: I feel guilty being away from her.

  Less than thirty seconds later, my phone rang.

  “Hey,” I said weakly.

  “Noah, you have got to stop beating yourself up for wanting to have a somewhat normal life. How do you think I feel? I’m moving to Virginia and leaving both you and Mom. But, I have to go where my heart is. Boo Bear, I know you don’t like leaving Mom’s side, but you need to think of your own life as well.”

  Smiling, I shook my head. My little sister had been calling me Boo Bear for as long as I could remember. I had a love-hate relationship with that damn name.

  “After you leave, Emily, I’m all she’ll have and I don’t think . . . I’m not sure . . .” My voice cracked as I stopped talking. Reaching into my bag in the back seat, I pulled out my prescription pills and took one for anxiety. The pills calmed me down and took the edge off.

  “Noah, listen to me. I know you don’t want to hear this, but our mother is dying. The doctors told us she only has a few months, if that, to live. I see how you’re slowly falling apart. I also saw
how happy you were when you ran into Grace. It was as if a new energy surged through your body. Please, stay there a couple days with Grace. Please.”

  Nodding my head, I glanced up and saw Grace walking toward the car with a huge smile on her face. My heart instantly felt light; the pressures of my home life melted away. “All right, Emily. I’ll stay a few days, but you have to promise me you’ll call if anything happens.”

  “Of course I will, Noah. I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Hitting End, I smiled as Grace got closer to the car. This girl shattered me the moment she looked into my eyes the first time I made love to her. The endless phone conversations and text messages furthered my feelings for her. My mother always said love was a powerful thing. She believed in love at first sight. I didn’t until Grace’s eyes lit up the first time I ever touched her. When she stopped responding to my phone calls and text messages, it felt as if my world had been turned upside down.

  Opening the door, Grace slid in. I felt like a kid in high school taking my high school crush out on our first date.

  “Hey! I’m so sorry you had to wait. You didn’t have to, you know,” Grace said as her eyes searched my face. “Noah, what’s wrong?”

  Giving her a weak a smile, I asked, “Is there somewhere we can talk?”

  I could see the fear in her eyes as she blinked rapidly. Taking her hand in mine, I gently kissed her wrist. I could feel her heartbeat and I needed to calm her down. “I need to tell you about my mother and why I had to leave A&M.”

  Relief washed over Grace’s face. “Oh . . . um . . . how about Bee Creek Park? We can walk along the river trail.”

  Smiling, I nodded my head. “Perfect.” As we headed off of campus and to the park, I tried like hell to shake off the nerves building up. Grace sat quietly next me as I stroked my thumb over her soft skin. Taking a quick peek at her, I made a vow to myself that I would never let her walk away from me again.

  Grace Hope Johnson was mine.

  Forever mine.

  Grace

  The fire igniting across my skin was almost too much to take. Noah’s touch about sent me into a frenzy. It had from the first moment he helped me up after we ran into each other.