Bad at Love

  Bad at Love

  Karina Halle

  Metal Blonde Books

  Copyright © 2017 by Karina Halle

  First edition published by Metal Blonde Books November 2017

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Cover by: Hang Le Designs

  Edited by: Kara Malinczak and Roxane Leblanc

  For everyone who isn’t afraid to embrace their inner weirdo

  You were the one

  That could finally fix me

  Lookin' at my history

  I'm bad at love

  Halsey

  Contents

  Prologue

  1. Laz

  2. Marina

  3. Laz

  4. Marina

  5. Laz

  6. Laz

  7. Marina

  8. Laz

  9. Marina

  10. Laz

  11. Marina

  12. Marina

  13. Laz

  14. Marina

  15. Marina

  16. Marina

  17. Laz

  18. Marina

  19. Laz

  20. Laz

  21. Marina

  22. Marina

  Epilogue

  Prologue

  Marina

  Four Years Ago

  * * *

  “Dream On”

  “Tonight is going to suck,” Naomi grumbles.

  I give her a withering glance but quicken the pace as we walk down Pico Boulevard toward The Mint where our friend Jane is playing tonight. We’re already running a bit late and her band, Magic 8 Ball, is first up. At a place like The Mint, they could have already started and finished their set by now. Or they might not go on for another few hours. It’s always up in the air.

  Not that I’ve ever seen them perform live before, but I have spent many nights at The Mint during college weekends, drinking draft beer, watching bands, and vomiting outside. Ah, the good old days.

  Which is probably why Naomi thinks it’s going to suck. We’re twenty-five now, not twenty-one, and what passed for good music when you’re wasted probably doesn’t when you’re (relatively) sober.

  “It’s not going to suck,” I assure her. “It’ll be fun.”

  She rolls her dark eyes. “Right. Fun. You know we don’t have that kind of fun anymore.”

  “Always the grump,” I mumble under my breath.

  “I can hear you,” she says.

  “I know.” I sigh and check my phone again. We’re still a few blocks away. I wish I had my own car already instead of having to rely on the Los Angeles bus system. By the time we get to the venue, I’m going to be an even sweatier mess than usual. It may be October, but fall means nothing in LA. “This is about supporting Jane, just remember that.”

  “What has Jane ever done for us?” she says. “The damn woman slept through last semester. If it hadn’t been for me stepping in and practically writing her papers for her, she would have flunked.”

  “I don’t know? Professor McGill did have it pretty bad for her. I’m sure he would have given her a passing grade.”

  Naomi giggles. We all study at the University of California in Riverside together, and though our fields and interests are different, we had some classes overlap and everyone knew that the Professor loved Jane.

  Jane, however gorgeous she is with her tall, lithe body, killer tattoos, and long pink hair and piercings, was never the type to indulge him. Never mind the fact that he was thirty years older than her, came up to her boobs, and smelled like ham.

  Finally, we get to The Mint and the bouncer is already looking the two of us up and down as we try to get ahead of the small line of smokers outside.

  We tried to dress up from our usual day uniform of jeans and a tank top. I upgraded to ripped jeans and a sequin tank top with a little extra eyeliner. Naomi has me beat, wearing faux-leather pants that make a farting sound when she walks. I don’t have the heart to tell her.

  “We’re on the list,” I tell the angry-looking dude with the bald head and beard down to his knees, the prerequisite bouncer uniform for music venues. I’m willing to bet he has a tattoo on him somewhere that says Mom but I’m not willing to find out.

  He continues to give us the once over. “Name?”

  “Marina Owens and Naomi Harris.”

  He squints at Naomi. “The actress?”

  “No,” she says flatly. “It’s spelled differently.” It wouldn’t kill her to smile. Because as annoying as it is to have the same name as an actress, she actually looks like said actress. And both of them are extremely beautiful, my friend even more so when she smiles.

  But Naomi keeps her grump face on so I have to turn on my smile for the bouncer. Which I hate to do. It makes me look like a kid. I have a lot of teeth.

  “We’re guests of Jane. Magic 8 Ball.”

  “Who?”

  “The band that should be playing right about now?” There’s a dull crunchy rock sound coming from inside but it doesn’t sound like they’ve hit the stage yet. Thank god.

  “Let’s go.” Naomi tugs at my shirt. “Jane’s on the drums. She’s not even going to notice if we came or not.”

  “No, we came all this way, we can’t just bail,” I protest, but my words sound feeble. It would be so wrong to go back home but feel so right. My bed is calling me. Comfy socks. Fluffy robe. I could have a bath and light some candles and read. I know that I’m young and your mid-twenties is about getting out there and partying and meeting guys, but both Naomi and I have accelerated to old lady status really fast. We’re like the Golden Girls over at our apartment.

  “Come on,” she says, and I’m about to turn around and follow her like the weak woman I am when a tall, dashing man steps out of the door, digging a cigarette out of his pocket.

  Okay, I know I just described him as dashing but my mind is fumbling for the right words to convey what I’m seeing, and I’ve read far too many historical romances lately.

  I stare at him, and while Naomi continues to tug at my tank top like a child and the bouncer waits for me to say something, I try to come up with other adjectives to describe this guy standing just to the side of me.

  Handsome.

  Yes, he definitely is, but that’s boring.

  He’s hot. Very hot.

  But that’s boring too.

  He’s…enigmatic.

  Yes.

  Enigmatic. Mysterious, brooding…sexual. A modern Heathcliff or Mr. Rochester dressed in black jeans, a grey V-neck shirt, arms covered in tattoos. He looks sweaty, thick black hair sticking to his forehead. An eyebrow ring over a low arched brow. Wide jaw, steel-cut chin. Full lips. He’s currently biting the lower one as he stands there, looking me over as he pulls out his lighter.

  And then I realize everyone is still looking at me.

  “Are you in or out, lady?” the bouncer says impatiently.

  I snap my attention back to him. “Lady?” I repeat while Naomi snorts. He obviously doesn’t know me.

  “You say you’re with Magic 8 Ball?” the bouncer goes on.

  “Um,” I say. I can feel Naomi’s eyes burning into my skull, wanting me to tell him to forget it. But then there’s this sexy stranger and I’m not normally one to fan myself over a hot guy but this guy is like my kryptonite, and he’s got my panties in a twist. Plus, he’s watching me with interest now as he lights his cigarette, his dark eyes lit up by the flame.

  “Because I wasn’t told there was anyone on the list,” the bouncer adds with some finality. He crosses his arms across his chest for emphasis. br />
  “That’s okay, we’ll just go,” Naomi says.

  “You’re here to see Magic 8 Ball?” the sexy stranger asks, smoke spilling from his mouth. He has this British accent that makes me want to melt into a puddle right here, right now.

  Naomi sighs. “Our friend Jane is the drummer.”

  “You do realize it’s just a shitty cover band, right?” the guy says. I could watch his lips move and hear him talk in that sexy accent all night. He says “shitty” without pronouncing the Ts in the middle.

  Naomi laughs, and she rarely laughs with strangers. “We know it’s a cover band. Whether it’s shitty or not, that remains to be seen. We haven’t seen them play before.”

  “I’d save your money,” he says. “Though I guess if you’re on the list, you could get in for free…if you’re a sucker for punishment.”

  “Not on the list,” the bouncer interjects.

  “That bad, huh?” I joke to the sexy stranger.

  He shrugs and looks off. He has this cageyness to him that only adds to his mystique, like he’s too cool for school but not even trying. “Their singer is a real arsehole. Total wanker. I’d stay away from the likes of him. Thinks he’s better than David Gahan.”

  “Well, it is a Depeche Mode cover band, so I’ll give him a pass on that.” I pause, remembering that it’s actually Jane’s brother who is the singer of the band. I had no idea he was an…arse. “And anyway, like we said, we’re here for Jane. To support her. Be a good friend.”

  He nods slowly, looking between the two of us with a look I can’t quite figure out. “Then she’s going to owe you a mad favor.”

  “She’s worth it.”

  His expression turns. It’s like he’s approving of me now.

  I like it. I want his approval. God knows why.

  Oh yeah. The dangerously handsome and edgy thing.

  His lips twist into a smirk that somehow only turns on the charm. “What was your name again?”

  “I never gave it. It’s Marina,” I tell him and shrug my shoulder back toward Naomi. “And that’s Naomi.”

  “And you are?” Naomi asks him pointedly.

  He grins. “Just an arsehole,” he says, taking a long drag of his cigarette and looking off down the street at the passing cars, their headlights briefly running over us.

  “Well, it was nice to meet you, arsehole, but—” Naomi starts to say.

  Suddenly the door to the venue opens again, the sound of instruments tuning, sound check in progress, ringing out into the night air. A guy with a Magic 8 Ball shirt and red handlebar mustache sticks his head out and waves at Mr. Arsehole.

  “What the fuck are you doing, Laz? We’re going on, now.”

  Laz?

  “Your name is Laz?” Naomi asks. “You mean, like Jane’s brother, Lazarus? Like the singer of the damn band?”

  He manages a tiny smile and takes out the pack, stubbing his cigarette out on it. “I’m coming,” he says to the ginger-mustached man, who makes a huffing sound and disappears back inside.

  Then Laz taps the bouncer on the shoulder and points at us. “They’re with me.”

  The bouncer looks like he’s about to ask him who he is but decides against it. He sighs and turns away, his bald head gleaming in the overhead light. “Fine.”

  Laz looks back at us, gestures to the door. “You girls coming or what?”

  “Your name would be Lazarus,” I remark.

  His brows raise, eyebrow ring glinting. “What?”

  “You have to pardon her. She says the wrong things,” Naomi says, putting her hands on both my shoulders and trying to steer me inside.

  “Hey, he called himself an arsehole,” I point out as she pushes me inside the venue. “He could have told us he was with the band. Or is the band. Instead of playing that little game.”

  “I’m with the band,” he corrects me, walking slightly ahead of us, his eyes right on me. “I play guitar, I sing, and they aren’t even my songs. And you’re right. I guess Lazarus is kind of a douchey pompous rock star name. I like to think it’s because my father listened to a lot of Nick Cave and not that my mother has an obsession with myths.”

  The room is crowded and very dark, even the closer we get to the stage. “I’d buy you girls a drink,” he says, “but it will have to wait until after. I’ll let Jane know you’re here.”

  And at that he walks smoothly through the crowd and gets up on the stage, grabbing his guitar from the stand.

  “Break a leg!” I call out after him, but my voice is lost in the crowd and that’s a good thing because I sound like an idiot.

  The Mint is a small place. The stage is barely a few feet above the ground. The lights are low and everything smells like beer, and it’s already too loud in here and they haven’t even started playing. But still, I feel like this night is becoming the beginning of something. What, I don’t know.

  “I can’t believe that’s Jane’s brother!” Naomi yells at me above the noise.

  “Stepbrother!” I correct her, watching as he walks across the stage and says something to Jane. I can barely see her behind the drums, just the top of her pink head, until she stands up and waves at us with both hands, enthusiasm turned up.

  We wave back.

  “Still!” she says. “I’m surprised we haven’t met him already!”

  I’m not. Jane, her brother, and the two other dudes, only formed this band five months ago. Before then, Laz was apparently studying abroad, though I’m not sure where. England, I’m guessing. Jane hasn’t really talked about him much, either, so I assumed they aren’t really close. I do remember her saying that she was honored that he invited her to play drums, especially since a lot of bands won’t give a female drummer the time of day, even those as talented as Jane. Anyway, she has a younger brother, Noah, that she’s a lot closer to, so Laz has always had this mysterious air to him. Which, after meeting him in person, I can totally understand.

  “Hiya,” Laz says into the microphone after he gives his guitar a hard strum that fills the room and makes my teeth vibrate. “We’re Magic 8 Ball and we’re here for your pleasure.”

  All the girls in the room erupt into rising waves of giggles and cheers, and it’s only then that I’m noticing how many of them are crowding the stage, staring up at him with heart eyes, vying for his attention.

  But for one moment, when he looks across the room and meets my eyes, I have it.

  Then the band launches into a rolling, bass-heavy version—“Policy of Truth”—and our moment is over. If it ever was a moment. You see, I tend to have these moments with guys where I think, yay maybe he’s actually into me, he’s been giving me some good eye fucking. But then it turns out that he actually has something in his eye.

  For a cover band, they’re really good. Color me surprised. Jane is great, of course, and everyone holds down their instruments really well, but Laz steals the show. Not only does he have the swagger, this panther-like domination of the stage, but his voice is amazing and completely on point. Even with the shitty sound system and acoustics in the venue, he brings the songs to another level, like they were always his to begin with.

  “They don’t suck!” Naomi yells at me as they go into their last song.

  “No, they don’t! I’m so glad we don’t have to lie to Jane now!”

  We had come up with our straight faces back at the house, prepared to tell Jane how awesome she was and all that, wrongly assuming they weren’t going to be any good. I mean, you know how it is when it comes to your friends and art. You want to encourage them at all costs, even if they’re terrible, and while we knew that Jane was talented, you never know how a band will perform as a whole.

  When the show is over after a blistering forty-five-minute set, my ears are ringing and Naomi is telling me we should go say hi to Jane and then leave. I should listen to her. I have to be up early for work tomorrow and I’ve only been working at the garden center for a week, so I’m still trying to make a good first impression.

 
But while Jane works her way through the crowd to come and say hello, I’m watching Laz, the girls in front of him parting like Moses parting the Red Sea.

  “I’m so glad you came,” Jane squeals, even though she’s not the squealing type. “God, I hope the sound was okay? It wasn’t shit, was it? It’s so hard to tell from up there.”

  “You were amazing,” I tell her, my eyes going to Laz who has stopped just behind her. “Both of you.”

  “So, I see you all know each other,” Jane says, looking between the three of us. “That should cancel out any awkward introductions.”

  “You should have seen the awkward introduction we had before you played,” I tell her. Laz raises his brows at that but I plow on, “Anyway, you were both awesome. Band is awesome. Sound was…loud. I’m glad we came.”

  “Yes, totally,” Naomi adds. “But we really shouldn’t stay out so late. You have work in the morning, Marina, remember?” She’s giving me the let’s go look.

  “You’re not going anywhere. I promised I would buy you both a drink,” Laz says. “What you havin’?”

  I try not to smile as I look at Naomi, silently pleading for her to stay.

  She sighs, giving me a dirty look before she says to Laz. “A beer. Cold.”

  “Not very picky,” he says. “I like that. And you, blondie?”

  My smile widens. I’ve heard that nickname a million times before but with his accent, it’s to die for. “Anything.”

  He cocks his head, considering that before looking inquisitively at Jane. “Drink?”

  “Vodka soda,” she says to him, and as soon as he walks off to the bar, her attention is on me, one brow raised.