Wide Awake, Page 3

  “That was quick,” she laughed, reaching out for her seat belt. “Very impressive.”

  I revved the engine and pulled off. I could feel her eyes burning into me. Every now and then I would look at her. Her scent filled my car and was doing things to my body. I wanted her, all of her. To feel her bare skin against mine, feel her lips against mine and lose myself in her. The blood was now pumping south and was causing discomfort. I had to think of a way to stop my sordid thoughts.

  “What did you do in New York?” I shifted in my seat to try and ease my arousal.

  She waited a beat before she answered. “You really want to know?” I nodded. “Well, I had to do a few interviews to promote my new autobiography.”

  “You write?” I said, surprised really.

  “NO!” She laughed. “I had to speak into this recording device for months and someone else wrote it down from it.” She suddenly burst out laughing. “Things people do for money, huh?”

  “You didn't want to do that?”

  “Like I had a choice,” she grunted. “Then, I went and had look around some apartments.”

  We finally arrived outside my apartment. the last part had hit me hard. I pulled the key out of the ignition and tapped it against my hand. “You're moving?”

  “Not sure yet” her facial expression blank. “Come, I want to see where you sleep.” She jumped out of the car quickly and I followed.

  I opened my door and head gestured for her to enter. She stepped inside and began to look around. She removed her bag and placed it down on the sofa.

  “You're so lucky,” she sighed, as I closed the front door behind me. “It looks very homely.” Her eyes looked over to a picture of me and Jo. It was taken during our recent trip to Disney Land. I had my arm draped round her and we were both wearing Mickey Mouse ears.

  “Your roommate?” She pointed, I just nodded and she picked the photo up to study it. “She is very beautiful.” She gave at a little breath. “So, so lucky,” she said again.

  I stepped a little closer towards her. “What do you mean?”

  She placed the photo down and turned to face me. “You have everything” her hand swept across the room. “A home, friends and normality.”

  My hand reached out and placed it's self on the side of her face. The pain in her face was heart wrenching. “You're lucky to” I tried to sound convincing. She closed her eyes and fell into my touch.

  “Tell me more,” she whispered, her hands resting on my chest. “Please, tell me more.”

  “Well,” I began, feeling a little put on the spot. “You're talented, beautiful, and successful and you can get any man falling onto their knees for you.” Her eyes sprung open, had I said the wrong thing. I backed away and ran my hands through my hair. I knew I was going to mess up somehow.

  “Hey,” she grabbed hold of my wrist. “You've done nothing wrong,” she answered my unspoken question. “Show me where you sleep.”

  Chapter Four

  4. Letting go tonight

  She wanted to see my room, fuck! This was actually going to happen. Wait! I was just assuming things, just because she wanted to see my room didn't actually mean she wanted sex. She began to make her way down the hall, with me following behind trying to scrap whatever nerve I had left.

  “Which one is yours?” She asked, looking over her shoulder and fluttering her eyelashes. I pointed to the door, she was next to. Her hand gripped hold of the handle. “Can I?” I gave a little smirk and she slowly opened the door. “Wow,” she laughed, entering my room. “You clean... Not something I have seen from a man before.”

  I had to admit I was a cleaning freak, but then it was good to have everything in its right. Unlike Jo-- whose room was a tip and she was the most unorganized person I had ever met. I had tried to convince her to be tidy, but it hadn't managed to rub off on her.

  She spun round to face me and I had to catch my breath, her eyes were narrowed and the heat from them was erupting the arousal I had managed to deal with earlier. “Do you have many women in here?” She was almost purring.

  “No,” I muttered, feeling rather embarrassed. “In fact, I think you are probably only the third I have had here since I moved in five years ago.”

  “Three plus your room mate?

  ”I placed my hands over my face and cringed. “No, Jo is included in the three.” I felt her soft dainty hands move mine away from my face.

  “How?” She looked puzzled, her head tilting to the side and taking me in. “How is it even possible that you are not fucking your way through the entire population of LA?”

  My jaw dropped, her saying the word fucking sounded good from her mouth. Normally, women who swore were an utter turn off for me. She made it sound erotic, tempting.

  She started to walk around me, never taking her eyes off mine. As if she was some wild animal and I was her next kill. My heart raced again and the sweating began. I couldn't take my eyes away from her. She reached for the hem of her T-shirt and pulled it over her head.

  My mouth was dry and I was staring at her perfect breast, her tiny waist and flat stomach. “I have a theory,” she stopped to kick of her trainers. “I think you can tell how a man will be in bed by the way they dance.”

  “Really?” I growled.

  “Really...” She slowly walked over to me and ran her hands up and down my chest. I could feel myself getting hard and the flames enlighten through my body. Slowly, one by one she undid the buttons.

  “You're a beautiful man, Ryder.” Her hands ran up and down my bare chest, she gently pulled my shirt off me. “You have strong arms which I am pretty sure could pick me up, hold me against that wall and keep me steady well you fuck me.”

  “I'm pretty sure they could.” I wanted to reach out and grab her, but the way she was doing this looked a lot more fun.

  “I've wanted you since you walked into that warehouse,” she moaned, as she placed kisses along my chest. My head fell back and I tried to stay focused. “Ryder,” I grunted in response, my eyes half open. She stood back slightly and unfastened her jeans allowing them to hit the floor. “Take me now, please.”

  That was my cue. I grabbed hold of her and pulled her into me, walking her backwards towards the bed. My lips collide with hers, hungrily I kissed her. My tongue dipping in and out of her mouth, she tasted amazing. She fell onto the bed, with me pushing her into the mattress. I couldn't move my lips away from hers, her fingers tugging in my hair. I pressed my erection into her hip, just so she knew how she was driving wild. She gave a slight groan, but the kiss never stopped.

  My lungs burned and I had to pull away. I looked down at her perfect face and she was panting just like I was. I stood up and removed my trousers, allowing her to see my hardness it all its glory.

  “Please, now, Ryder” she begged as she licked her lips. Her own thumbs dipped into the band on her thong and she pulled it off, throwing it across the room.

  I crawled back on top of her and our lips collided. Her legs opened wide for me to enter her wetness, I slammed into her and she cried out in pleasure.

  Resting up on my elbows I stared down at her perfect face, as I gained rhythm and pace. The wonderful sound she made as I pulled out and slammed back inside of her with force.

  “Harder” she yelled, her nails digging into my flesh. Slamming into her with force, I found my release and watched as she trembled beneath me.

  My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest, this was the first time I'd made love to a woman in a long time. My lips kissed her face and she gave a little girly laugh.

  “I guess my theory was right,” she smiled, locking her arms around my neck. “Can I stay?” I just nodded, I was unable to talk.

  ***

  I woke up to the sound of someone calling my name. I looked up and Tess's face was above mine. Her finger tips traced along my face. “Morning,” she smiled.

  “Morning,” I said, surprised. It wasn't a dream, it had actually happened. I placed my hand to the back of her n
eck and pulled her face down to mine. Once again we fell into a mesmerizing kiss. It didn't last long this time. She quickly pulled away and stood up. I noticed she was fully dressed with her bag resting against her hip.

  “I have to go.”

  “Oh,” I cried. “Give me a minute and I'll drive you back.” I pulled back the covers and was just about to get up.

  “No!” She held up her hand. “I have someone picking me up.” As if on cue the buzzer rang. “I had a wonderful time, Ryder. It was amazing, thank you.” She headed towards the door. “I'll call you” she added and then was gone.

  A few seconds later I heard the front door open and then close. She was gone.....

  Chapter Five

  Falling hard with an open heart

  Saturday came and went without a word from Tess. I guess she was busy with work or something. I spent most of the day watching TV and chilling on the sofa. I was still on a natural high after the night before. Everything about it was perfect, all my thoughts were consumed with Tess and the way she lightened up my dull, glum gym obsessed world.

  Sunday, and still no word... I would be lying if I said I wasn't bothered. I kept thinking maybe I had done something wrong, but nothing to come to mind. Maybe she had regretted it.

  Finally, by the afternoon the phone rang. It was only my dad, telling me that Mr Young wanted to hire me permanently as his driver. I accepted straight away, being a driver sounded a better job for me than body guard.

  Sunday evening and Jo arrived home filled with stories of how romantic Ryan had been. I just sat, half listening, my mind still filled with Tess. I had tried to call her hotel suite a few times, but there was no answer. Either she was avoiding me or was away doing some sort of work.

  The next two weeks went by slowly and still no call. I had got myself into a routine. During the day I would drive Mr Young all round LA, then the evenings, I would hit the gym and then at night lay staring up at the ceiling.

  I know by now I should have taken the hint she wasn't going to call. Something deep inside didn't want to admit that she obviously wasn't interested.

  I got in from work one evening and I couldn't be bothered to go to the gym. The lack of sleep had actually caught up with me. I flopped onto the sofa and gave a sigh.

  “Right!” Jo yelled, glaring at me over the sofa. “You can't go on like this. I have watched you for two weeks moping around, you need to get out.”

  “I'm not really in the mood” I yawned.

  “Ryder Hilton!” She scowled and I knew she meant business. “She is not worth putting your life on hold for. If she can't be bothered to make a simple phone call then she is simply not worth it.”

  “What do you suggest I do?” I groaned. I knew she was right, but I felt something that night with Tess and I would of liked the chance see it develop. There had to be a reasonable explanation and I knew there was.

  “Come out with me and Ryan tonight,” she suggested.

  I rolled my eyes. “Please Jo, anything but hanging out with you and Ryan” I pleaded. Jo didn't bother me, but a whole night just trying to be nice to Ryan... Well, that seemed like a lot of hard work.

  “Sit up,” she ordered as I rubbed my hands down my face. “Now you listen, Ryder Hilton. YOU are coming out with me and Ryan and YOU are going to have a good time!”

  “Okay... Okay!” I gave in, like I even had a choice not to. “Let me go and get sorted.” I stood up and walked towards my bedroom. I

  Wished my room had a lock, I really just wanted to hide away, possibly with a phone--- just in case!

  I sat down on my bed and rubbed my brow. How much fun was tonight going to be? Watching Jo and Ryan act all loved up. Then the stabbing pain started again, was it possible to feel this way over someone after one night?

  I couldn't make sense of my feelings... Did I love her? Or was I just hurt that she had used me? Had she used me? It wasn't like she forced me into having sex with her. I wasn't sure about anything at the moment apart for the first time in years. Tess had made me feel alive again.

  She gave me a little glimmer of hope that maybe I was normal and not a freak, like my father thought I was. She was the one I thought I could be with, how long would it be till I found someone else like that? Would I ever find it again?

  “Come on!” Jo yelled, outside my door. “If you're not ready in twenty minutes I will drag you out.” I heard her heels click down the hall.

  She was right. I couldn't put life hold over one night with a complete stranger. I doubted she was worrying about me... I let out a deep breath. I had to put Tess behind me and move on. Staying in every night wasn't actually going to lead me to meeting anyone new. She was out there somewhere. I just had to start looking.

  Clubbing!

  One of the things I hated the most... A room of horny students getting off their faces in the attempt they may go home with someone. What was the point? At the end of the day they were more likely to end up with an STI rather than a serious loving relationship.

  I sat with my drink and watched Jo enjoy herself. I still hated Ryan even after his attempt to be friendly towards me. There was just something about him and I couldn't put my finger on it. Yeah, he was polite and he looked very much in love with Jo, constantly touching her, kissing her cheek and making sure she was having a good time.

  I just kept wondering whether it was an act in my present. I downed the rest of my vodka and reached out to grab another from the tray. Drowning my sorrows seemed such a better way to spend the evening.

  “Hey,” Jo skipped up behind me and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Come and dance,” she pleaded.

  “No!” I downed another. “I am enjoying my date” I raised my glass and gave a little grin.

  She sat down in the spare seat next to me and quickly snatched the glass out of my hand. “This will not help.” She could have that one, it was empty. I reached out to grab another but she pushed my hand away. “Ryder, please stop this.”

  “Stop what?” I asked, looking at her shocked. Hadn't it been her idea for me to come out and enjoy myself. God, sometimes she could be so annoying.

  “This,” she held up the glass. “Drinking will not block or make anything better. Right, you need to move on and find someone else. Someone who wants to be with you.”

  The alcohol was beginning to take its effect. “Like you?” I said in a flirtatious tone. Jo rolled her eyes and started to laugh. I leaned a little closer and grabbed hold of her hand. “Why don't we get together?”

  She tilted her head to the side. “Why do you always do this?”

  “Do what?” I asked, innocently.

  “This... When you've been drinking. Both you and I know we are friends.”

  I removed my hand from hers. “I know, I know... And I love you very much” I kissed her cheek. “Alright,” I sighed. “Show me your moves.”

  I stumbled out of my seat and somehow made it over to the dance floor. Jo wrapped her arms around me and we started swaying. This felt comfortable. I didn't have to prove anything to Jo. We could just stay like this without any showing off or trying to impress.

  I looked down at her. “What's wrong with me?” I mumbled.

  Her head rested on my chest. “Nothing,” she sighed.

  “Then why can't I do what men my age does?”

  “Are you referring to one night stands?” She laughed and I nodded my head. She stopped dancing and looked directly up into my eyes. “Because you're one of the decent ones, Ryder. You like to get to know someone and you need a connection. Do you know how many women would love to have a man like you?”

  I gave a big smile. “Ah, flattery” I pulled her back into me and rested my cheek on the top her head. “What would I do without, Jo?”

  “I don't know,” she shrugged. “And I never want to find out.”

  “Hey,” said a voice interrupting us. I looked over and there was Ryan glaring at me. I narrowed my eyes and gripped Jo harder. “Could I have my girl back?”

 
; His girl? Like she was some sort of procession. I hated him, everything inch of him screamed cheat and liar. From the way he wore his shirt slightly open, the amount of gel he used in his hair. The way he stood like he owned everything. The hatred was building up. I slowly released Jo from my grip and stood in front of him.

  Me towering above him gave me some power and I liked it. Without thinking I grabbed hold of his shirt, his face filled with panic and his eyes wide.

  “Correction” I snarled. “She was my first and always will be.”

  “Ryder!” Jo screamed, pulling me away. She pushed me in the chest, but it made no impact on me. I just stood looking at Ryan over the top of her head. “What do you think you're doing?” She was turning this round on me. He can go round treating her like an object, but I was in the wrong for putting him straight. I ran my hands through my hair and let our a little air from my mouth.

  “What are you even doing with him?” I asked.

  “What?” I watched her jaw clench. “Look, you are just looking for someone to take out your anger on. It is not our fault that slut hasn't called you.” She pointed her finger at me. “Go home... I'll speak to you tomorrow.”

  “Fine!” I yelled. “Don't come running to me when he breaks your heart... AGAIN!!!” I stormed out of the club, pushing my way through the crowds. I got outside into the cool LA night air and started to take in deep breaths. What had happened? I suddenly felt ashamed and stupid. Why had I behaved in that manner? That was really unlike me, had this whole thing with Tess turned me into a mental person?

  My phone began to ring. I pulled it out of my pocket and didn't recognize the number. I hit the receive button and put it to my ear. “Hello, Ryder Hilton speaking?”

  “Ryder,” a little voice replied on the other end. What? I couldn't reply, I was stunned. How? Why? “Ryder,” the voice said again, this time in a little panic. “Are you still there?”

  “Yes, what do you want Tess?” I started making my way down the street.

  “I need to see you” her voice soft and breathy. “I am sorry I haven't called, but the morning I left yours I had to go to Europe and I forgot to take my phone with me.” She sighed. “Will you come and see me, please?”

  God! I hadn't expected this. What was I meant to do? Was this how it was going to work? She would disappear and then I would go running every time she clicked her fingers or could fit me into her schedule. Then what was the alternative, sit at home and wait for Jo to come back and remind me of my awful behaviour. The scales seemed unbalanced and I didn't want another argument tonight.