Reaching Retribution (The Prophesized #4), Page 2

  A warm feeling spreads through my stomach. Dang it. I bet someone somewhere is laughing at this turn of events. Claire said that I would know when I had to do something, and I’m guessing that this is what she meant. Keeping my groan inside, I turn toward Lily and put on a neutral expression. “How’d it happen?” I ask her.

  Lily crosses her arms and looks up at the sky. Biting her inner lip, she tries to hide the tears in her eyes. “Why? It doesn’t change anything.”

  “Look Lily, obviously we’re supposed to help each other. If you want to get out of this situation alive, we’re going to have to trust one another,” I tell her.

  She tears her eyes away from the clouds above and looks down at me. I watch her for a few seconds, but she does nothing. Fine, I’ll find my own way out of here. I turn and walk away from her, knowing that she’ll call after me if she’s serious about surviving this.

  “Wait, Ryanne, I don’t know what to do! I have no idea where to go. I’m scared and confused and I need help!”

  “You’re not the only one dead here, Lily! I want to get back too. I have a soulmate and a protector waiting for me. If I don’t get back, my protector will die, my soulmate will become depressed, and a crazy man will rule the world, enslaving humans to fulfill his every need.”

  “Who the heck are you?” she asks when she catches up to me. I look at her out of the corner of my eye, but continue walking.

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “Yes I do. That’s why I asked.”

  “Well, I asked how you died, but you didn’t tell me. You have your secrets. I have mine.”

  We walk a few more steps in silence before she speaks. “My step-dad,” she whispers.

  “What?” I stop walking and face her, making sure I heard what I think I heard.

  “My step-dad killed me,” she repeats.

  “What?”

  “He got drunk and beat me.” I may not be Lily’s biggest fan, but she didn’t deserve that. “I instigated it. He hit my mom, so I yelled at him. He didn’t mean to kill me. He doesn’t know how he acts when he drinks.”

  “What did your mom do?”

  “She tried to stop him, but he knocked her out. I don’t think she’s dead.” Technically, her mom could be dead, but I don’t tell her that. Lily’s here because it wasn’t her time to die. She’s getting another chance.

  “I’m sorry,” I tell her.

  “What about you? How’d you die?” she asks me. I turn away and continue walking. We’re heading somewhere, but I’m not quite sure. I bite my tongue to keep from talking, but for some reason, I want to tell her. She just shared her death experience with me, and right now there’s really no point in keeping it in. I don’t see what it could change.

  “I walked in front of a flying dagger,” I mumble while staring down at the ground.

  “A flying dagger?”

  “A man targeted someone near me and I tried to push her out of the way. He threw a dagger, and I got hit. End of story.” There’s actually much more to the story, but I don’t know how much I can tell Lily. She doesn’t know about mages, and even if we both get out of this alive, I’m not sure what we’ll remember.

  “What happened to the guy who threw the dagger?”

  “I bet someone beat the crap out of him. I hope someone did,” I say even though I’m not sure if I actually mean that. We’re heading toward Pearl Village, the neighborhood of all the old rich homes in our town. Of course Lily lives there. I try to stop walking, but can’t. My feet are moving without my permission.

  “Are we heading to my house?”

  “I think so,” I tell her. “I don’t really know how all this stuff works. Last time I died, I didn’t have to do this.”

  “You’ve died before?”

  “You don’t want to know,” I tell her as we stop in front of an older home. She doesn’t live in one of the larger, ritzy houses. The house in front of me is a one story home. Deep red bricks are offset with beige shutters surrounding the windows. It looks like we’re now in present time. There’s a man walking his dog across the street, but he doesn’t look in our direction.

  “Can anyone see us?” Lily asks while looking around; her eyes landing on the man and his dog.

  “Umm, I don’t really think so.” Before I finish, we start walking. It’s weird not being in control of your body. We’re obviously supposed to see something inside of the house, but we don’t have to open the door. We literally walk right through it. “That’s so weird.”

  I stop inside the door. A small living room with a box television and stained couch is directly to my right. Small pictures of a young Lily clutter every available surface. “Lily, why did you torment me in high school?” I’ve wanted to know the answer to that question for a long time now, and I don’t know if I’ll get another chance to ask it.

  She turns toward me and grabs onto the ends of her dark hair. “I don’t know, Ryanne. I didn’t want to, but Adam threatened to break-up with me if I didn’t. I didn’t believe his story about you. You always seemed like this really sweet, shy girl. I knew it was him. I was afraid that if he broke up with me, I wouldn’t be popular anymore. I was afraid that if I didn’t go along with everything he said, everyone would find out that I come from this. I’m not the stuck-up rich girl everyone thinks I am, but I worked so hard to build this reputation that I just couldn’t turn back. I had a role to fill, so I went along with everything.”

  “You never thought that more people would like you if they knew the real you?”

  “No one would have liked the real me.” She motions to the room around her. My eyes scan the area, but I don’t see anything wrong with this house.

  “I would have. I think this Lily is so much better than the one that I knew in high school.”

  Still clutching her hair, Lily looks down at me and frowns. “I’m really sorry for everything I did to you, Ryanne.” She seems sincere. “I know that an apology doesn’t give you back anything, but it’s all I can do.”

  I glance up at her, but she’s no longer looking at me. Her eyes are glued onto the entryway of the kitchen. “I forgive you.” Nodding, she steps away from me and moves toward that area. A few seconds later, I follow after her. I try to hold in my gasp, but I can’t when I see the scene in front of me.

  An older woman is lying on her back in the doorway. She’s breathing, so Lily’s right about her mom still being alive. My eyes move toward the center of the room. A man is leaning back against chipped cabinets, silent tears running down his face.

  Lily is standing near her mother, watching the scene. He slowly moves toward Lily’s body lying in the middle of the floor. Her body is laying at an odd angle in the middle of the kitchen floor with blood dripping down her face from a head wound. Her arms are covered in deep purple bruises. He did that to her?

  Her step-dad crawls over to her body. I can hear sirens in the background. Someone must have heard the commotion and called the police. “I’m so sorry, Lily,” he sobs. “I’m so, so sorry.” He kisses her forehead and leans back. Lily’s staring down at him with sadness in her eyes. She’s not angry at him for killing her. She’s upset. Why?

  “He’s not necessarily a bad guy, you know? He was abused by his father when he was a kid. It’s all he knows. My mom thought she could change him. Some people can’t change,” she explains to me. Turning to her step-dad, she crouches down in front of him. Police break the front door down and storm into the house, weapons drawn and ready. Lily looks over at her step-dad and briefly glances at me. “I forgive you,” she whispers.

  Lily gasps and her real body begins to shake. The police rush past me and yell at her step-dad to put his hands in the air. He willingly lets the cops cuff him and escort him out of the house. The Lily I was standing with fades until she’s no longer with me. Paramedics rush into the kitchen with two stretchers. Lily’s mother is placed onto one while two other paramedics move toward Lily.

  “She’s alive!” a female yells. I back out
of the room. The paramedics are doing their jobs to ensure that Lily survives. I’m no longer needed here. Lily’s need was to apologize to me and forgive her step father. Now what am I going to do? There’s no one to help me here. I still don’t understand what is going on right now. I don’t know the man that killed me. Honestly, I’m not really upset with him. I wish that he didn’t throw the dagger, yes, but I don’t have any previous problems with him.

  Walking through the front door, I head down the driveway and back to the street we just walked on. I wonder if Lily will remember any of this afterwards. Will I remember any of this? I really need to figure out what I’m supposed to do. How long have I been dead? How long do I get before I’m officially considered dead?

  As I turn right, I feel something pulling me back toward the entrance of the neighborhood. I follow the road until I end up back in front of the school again. Where am I going? I walk past the school and continue moving through town. It feels strange to be back here. I’ve been away for so long. Even when I was here, I didn’t go out too often. When I get toward the edge of town, I instantly know where I am going. I try to bury my feet in the ground. I don’t want to go any further. I start shaking my head as my hand moves forward, without my permission, and opens the gate.

  Walking past the rows of tombstones, I head to the back lot of the cemetery. Tears are streaming down my face before my feet stop moving. I bite my lip and look around. I’m alone—alone with the dead. Falling to my knees, I look at the gravestone in front of me.

  In loving memory.

  Maureen Nicole Arden

  April 30 1968 - July 17, 2012

  A hurricane of emotions crash into me as I sit on the cold, damp ground. Despite not having my powers, the sky darkens and the temperature cools, seemingly matching my emotions. It becomes difficult to breathe. I try to control my feelings, but it’s been so long since I’ve let myself feel this much. I’ve tried to close this part of me off. I’ve tried to forget about that day and push everything back. I lean forward and rest my head on the grass at the base of the tombstone, letting my tears soak the earth. “You left me,” I whisper. “You left me here alone.”

  “I had to, Ry-Ry.” I jump and fly backward when I hear my childhood nickname.

  “Mom?” I start shaking as another sob racks through my body. She runs forward and wraps her arms around me. I know this isn’t real, but it feels like it. She still smells like the familiar vanilla scent she always wore. I lean into her arms and cry on her shoulder. She runs her hand through my hair like she used to. It’s like nothing changed. This was how she would comfort me when I was sad—when she was alive.

  “I’m here.”

  “I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

  “You’re not supposed to be here, Ryanne. It’s not your time yet,” my mother tells me. I’m not letting her go. I don’t know how much time we have.

  “I can’t go back. I have to do something here. I don’t know what though. Claire couldn’t tell me much.”

  “You have to talk to me. Admit everything that’s going on in that brain of yours. Everything that you’ve locked away. All the secrets you’ve been keeping. You need to get everything off your chest. Then, and only then, can you go back.” That doesn’t seem too difficult.

  I get out of my mom’s arms and sit down against her grave. Tears are still pouring out of my eyes, but it’s not as uncontrollable anymore. Hiccupping, I start. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Not just right now, but all the time. When you died, I wouldn’t let myself get close to anyone. I pushed everyone away. I locked my heart away.”

  “That’s not going to get you back into your body. You have to dig deeper than that.” I bite my lip and look back at my mom. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. “Say what’s in here.” She points to my heart.

  “I’m mad at you.”

  “Good, keep going.”

  “I was supposed to die in that accident. Not you. Me! Do you know what that does to someone? I woke up after the accident, strapped to a bunch of IVs, alone in a hospital room. I had no family to go to. I had no friends to help me. I had no one. I was suddenly more alone than I’ve ever been in my life. Do you know what it’s like to have no one? No one wanted me. And the whole time, I had to live with the fact that the only person who loved me was dead because she saved me.

  “I should be grateful that you saved me, but I’m not. That car was headed for me, mom. You looked me in the eyes right as you jerked the car in a different direction. I watched the world blur outside the window as the car flipped. Do you know how many times I walked into Jane’s bathroom and thought about how easy it would be to swallow a bunch of pills and make everything better? I thought about suicide, Mom!” I lean back and wrap my arms around my legs. I’ve never revealed that to anyone before.

  “Now, I have Colton. I love him so much that it scares me. He’s makes me feel desired and knows how to comfort me when I’m upset. He can make me laugh when I’m sad or angry. He’s always worrying about me, which is annoying but nice at the same time. He’s too good for me. I’ll never be enough for him. He deserves someone who can focus solely on him, but I feel like I have to live up to this prophecy thing or everyone will be so disappointed.

  “Sometimes I feel like I’m spread out too thin. I can’t give Colton what he needs, because I’m so focused on everyone else. Someday he’s going to realize he can do better and leave me. He’s going to want someone who can be there for him when he needs it. He’s going to want someone who can control her magic and is always in control of her life. He’s going to want someone else.”

  “There’s more.”

  I look at her. She looks the same as she did when she was alive. Her chestnut hair is still cut in a short bob. Deep blue eyes look back at me. We look nothing alike. I apparently take after the Doctor in that department.

  “I’m afraid that I’m going to screw all this up. Claire’s dead because of me. Colton died because of me. What if someone else dies? I won’t be able to live with that. Every day, I want to run away from all this. I want to grab Colton and run off. I want to live without fear. I’m tired of being surrounded by violence and death all the time.”

  “You have to let it out, honey.”

  “Fine,” I stand up. “You want me to let it out? I hate that I have these powers. I hate that I’m the chosen one. I hate that dad was never there. I hate that you left me last year. I hate that I feel like I’m never going to be good enough for anyone. I hate that I can’t stop worrying about those around me. I hate that Liam gave me this stupid pendant because if I actually die today, he does too. I hate that Dravin is always one step ahead of me, and he has a plan while I don’t. I hate that I get these visions. I hate that all I see is death, and I hate myself for attracting so much trouble and endangering everyone I love.”

  Mom just stares at me, knowing there’s more I have to say. I start pacing back and forth, trying to collect my thoughts. I feel like there are so many things running through my mind right now that I don’t know what to say.

  “Despite all that hate, I wouldn’t change anything, because I love all those people. I love everyone I’ve met since I’ve become a mage. I finally have a family again. Every day I wake up and miss you, but I know you had to die to give me something to fight for. I want to make you proud, and I’m afraid that I haven’t done that yet,” I whisper that last part.

  My mom smiles at me. “There you go.” She moves toward me and wraps her arms around me again. “Now, you have to admit that you are good enough for that boy who loves you more than life itself. You have to admit that you are strong enough to do this. You have to tell me that and believe it yourself.”

  “I can’t,” I whisper.

  “Then you can’t go back.”

  I could always tell when mom was lying to me and right now, she’s being sincere. “But I’m neither of those things.”

  “Why can’t you see what everyone else sees in you, honey? Your soulmate thinks you
are too good for him. Everyone else thinks you two are perfect for each other. Tom is so proud that Colton found someone like you. I’m so glad that you found someone like him. You two are meant for each other. They wouldn’t give you a soulmate who was too good for you. You’re each other’s perfect half, and you are more than strong enough for this. How many times have you been captured? How many times have you been beaten and broken? How many times have you come back from all that? How many times have you said I’m not going to give up?”

  Everything she’s saying makes sense, but I still don’t want to believe it. It’s hard to let go of so many insecurities. It’s not like a switch that you can just move over to make everything better. “Can I tell you that I think that I could someday be good enough for him and that I have the potential to be strong enough for all this?”

  “Do you honestly believe that? With all your heart?”

  I know Colton loves me, and I know I love him. Maybe once all this war stuff is over I can feel more confident in us. I can finally be good enough for him. Yes, I do believe that part. Am I strong enough? At the moment, I don’t think so, but everyone else seems to believe I am. I can’t let their faith be misguided. I’ve already proven myself in training and in actual combat. With a little more practice and skill, I do think I can be strong enough.

  “Yes,” I whisper. My mom tightens her arms around me. I feel weird. My body starts to vibrate. What’s going on?

  “I’m so proud of you, Ryanne. Don’t ever question that. I’ll always be here for you. All you have to do is ask, and I’ll listen. I wouldn’t change anything that has happened. I love you so much.”

  I gasp as pain shoots through my body. I close my eyes and pray for this to be quick. This is the end. As darkness envelopes me, I feel my body being pulled in every direction. I must be going to Hell, because this pain is unbearable. If I could, I would be screaming, but my mouth won’t cooperate.

  “Don’t fight it.”

  Chapter Two

  Colton