Lane One: Seduction, Page 2

  I spot my car a space down from Matt's but I realize he has no idea that I have a new vehicle. He'll freak when he sees it's a Lexus.

  "Umm... actually, my car is here. It's the Lexus near yours."

  His eyes grow wide as he looks the SUV over and then back at me. "That's yours? I almost had it towed this morning when I pulled in. How did you manage to afford that?"

  "My... um... my employer bought it for me, kind of. It's a long, boring story but at the end of it I end up with a Lexus."

  He looks me over skeptically but whatever he wants to say he keeps to himself. "Well, it's a nice car and if anyone deserves a nice car it's you, Cassie."

  "Thanks, Matt."

  We walk over to our vehicles and Matt begins to tell me about this date he has tonight with a girl he met at a bar a few nights ago. Even though Matt had made it very clear in the past that he'd like to date me, I'm glad to see he's moved on.

  "Matt, that's great. You haven't gone on a date in such a long time."

  I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck in a friendly hug. He returns the embrace by wrapping his arms around my waist and squeezing me tightly. When I start to pull away I briefly kiss him on the cheek and smile up at him.

  "You'll have to tell me all about the date the next time I see you. I hope it goes really well for you, Matt."

  "Thanks, Cassie." He chuckles shyly and then walks over to his truck. I get into my SUV and start it, allowing it to warm up. When Matt pulls out of the parking lot I follow him and head to our next destination.

  Matt going on a date tonight only makes me think of Theo even more. I'd like to go on a date with Theo. I'd like to be normal for once. Meet a guy, date a guy and possibly see myself having a future with a guy. I've never had that before and I finally find someone I might be able to have that with, and he's pulling away from me and using Chris as an excuse. I don't know how much more of this teeter-totter of a relationship I can handle.

  I just need a sign telling me what to do.

  Two

  Theo

  Entry #1600

  I've often wondered why I waste my time writing my thoughts in this thing. Is it for me, or for my therapist to analyze my deepest and darkest thoughts? I'm sure he'll say it's for me, but I think it's the latter. I almost abandoned doing this tedious task completely, but then I met Cassie and it gave me a new purpose. Someone to write about, but after my actions today it might be the one piece of evidence to verify that I am, in fact, in need of professional help.

  Maybe I should burn this journal.

  I'm going to hurt that motherfucker.

  Cassie's Lexus is pulling out of the parking lot after that douchebag just had his hands all over her. What the hell is he doing with her anyway? I'm not losing it. I know that truck wasn't there last night before I fell asleep. It's completely irrational, but I need to know when that truck arrived, who that man is, and how he knows Cassie.

  Pulling out of my spot on the street, I follow Cassie's SUV. The traffic is light this morning as we weave through the lanes until we're turning into a park district building several blocks away. There are many other vehicles in the parking lot when we pull in. I know I should stay in the car and wait until she finishes whatever she's doing here. Better yet, I should leave now and go home while my dignity is still somewhat intact.

  I wish I could say that's what I did, but instead I find myself climbing out of my vehicle in yesterday's clothes and following Cassie and my blond-haired nemesis into the building. It's only when I am approaching the door that I notice a line forming on the outside of the brick building. The people lined up are in worn-out clothing, layered to protect them from the morning chill. The line wraps around the building and now I'm really wondering what Cassie is doing here.

  Once I walk through the entrance the florescent lights that line the ceiling blind me, reflecting off the white walls. There are paper signs up directing incomers to the cafeteria and when I enter the large room it has a handful of people all dressed similarly in denim jeans and red t-shirts. This is similar to what Cassie was wearing when she walked out of the church.

  Scanning the room I spot her ponytail swaying back and forth while she unloads rolls of bread from a plastic container on the floor, perfectly lining them up on the folding table. The blond man is next to her setting up portable coffee machines and bottles of water.

  This is some kind of makeshift soup kitchen. She must be volunteering here.

  Wow. She really is out of my fucking league.

  Just as I'm thinking I should make a silent departure she looks up and our eyes connect. Her stunning caramel brown eyes brighten with curiosity and then she's on the move, walking towards me with confident determination.

  I stay unmoving as she approaches me, because really, what else am I supposed to do?

  "What are you doing here, Theo?" She crosses her arms over her chest, which just makes the material of her baggy shirt tighten across her breasts. Her full tits are begging to be released from the material.

  Thank God that even with her weight loss she hasn't lost her luscious curves. I want to drown myself between her breasts and motorboat my way out.

  Unfortunately, all the attention I'm giving her curves makes me forget the question she's asked and when I finally look back up at her face, she's fuming with rage.

  "Can you think with the head on top of your neck for just a few minutes instead of the one in your pants?"

  She's feisty in the morning. I like it.

  "I apologize," I reply politely, remembering to try and be a gentleman. "I came here to see if we could talk but I didn't realize you'd be busy organizing a meal." I look around the cafeteria again and see the many volunteers preparing soup, sandwiches, and salads. In another area there are a few men putting packaged snacks inside brown paper bags and laying them out on a large table by the exit.

  "As you can see, Theo, right now isn't the best time to talk. I'm pretty sure you said all you needed to say to me yesterday. I got your message loud and clear, so you don't have to worry about me and I won't be saying anything to Chris if that's what you're worried about."

  Chris? She thinks I'm worried about Chris? I mean, yes, I don't want to jeopardize my friendship with him for her, or anyone else, but I also want to see where this could possibly go. The feelings I'm developing for her may actually lead to something more than just mind-blowing sex.

  But if I only end up getting mind-blowing sex I can be okay with that, too.

  "This isn't about Chris and this isn't about yesterday, although I'd like to apologize for the way I acted. I must have been temporarily insane to reject you when you've been all I've thought about for months."

  Did I really just admit that? Fuck, shut up, Theo.

  "Months?" she asks, her expression changing from fury back to curiosity.

  I should lie and correct myself but something deep inside is telling me that I need to be honest with her in order for this to go anywhere. It'll be the first time I've been completely honest with a female.

  "Did I say months? It's actually been closer to a year."

  Her jaw drops and I want to reach out and caress her chin before shutting her mouth for her with my tongue.

  "Now you're just full of it. You would have never looked at me a year ago. Quite frankly, I'm shocked you're even looking at me now."

  "Why is that?" I'm genuinely curious as to why she thinks I wouldn't look at her.

  She avoids my question completely and asks, "How did you know I was here, Theo?"

  Shit. I can't tell her I followed her here because that would solidify my insanity and then years from now I'll be another story on Dateline narrated by Lester Holt.

  "Cassie, is everything okay?" The blond prick is back at her side and looking at me skeptically as he addresses her.

  She turns and offers him a fake smile. "Everything's fine. Matt, this is... my friend, Theo. Theo, this is Matt."

  Just Matt. I get no other explanation. Not "Theo, this is m
y friend, Matt" or "Theo, this is Matt and he's gay" or even "Theo, this is the current asshole I'm fucking which is why you'll never have a chance with me".

  He's tall and by the defined arms popping out of his red shirt it's obvious he works out, but I'm taller and my body could whoop his ass. He's average-looking but his nose is crooked, his eyes are slightly asymmetric and he has bird lips. Physically this man is no competition.

  Theo-1

  Matt-0

  I reach out my hand and he grips it in a handshake. "It's nice to meet you, Matt."

  His handshake is weak as shit. Someone should have taught him that a firm handshakes shows assertiveness. Every new thing I learn about him affirms that he's less and less of a competitor for Cassie's affection.

  "I'll be over in a minute, Matt. I just need to show Theo out."

  Matt glances at me one more time and then turns around to go back to the table he was at earlier with Cassie. He's dragging his feet across the floor as he walks and I'm all of a sudden wondering what Cassie could possibly see in him.

  Yeah, walk away you little bitch.

  And now I'm acting like an eight-year-old.

  "Theo, you need to leave," Cassie demands, drawing my attention back to her.

  "You never answered my question."

  "I wasn't aware you asked me anything." She's pulling at the hem of her cotton shirt and I know she remembers exactly what I asked her, she's just hoping I forgot.

  I'm not going to let her off that easily.

  "Why are you shocked that I'm interested in you?"

  She drops the hem of her shirt and clasps her hands in front of her. "It's not like you're oblivious to how good-looking you are. It's how you've managed to dangle so many different women all these years. I, on the other hand, am nothing special to look at. You screw women who could be in swimsuit catalogs and I'm not model material. I'm overweight–"

  "Stop," I practically yell, placing my hands over hers. "I don't appreciate you speaking poorly of the woman I'm interested in. Your curves are sexy as hell and what makes you think I only screw swimsuit model types?"

  "Bailey."

  I knew screwing Bailey was somehow going to bite me in the ass.

  "Bailey is inconsequential. She's no one, Cassie."

  "Wow," she murmurs, taking a step back so I'm forced to release her hands. "Glad to know the women you screw are inconsequential to you."

  Jeez! She's taking this all wrong. I drag my hand through my hair; pulling it from the roots as I try to fix the verbal fuck-up I've just put myself in.

  "That came out wrong. Bailey's a great woman–you know what? I'd be a fucking liar if I told you Bailey was a great person and deserves better. The truth is she's a horrible woman and I never should have touched her. I don't have a lot of regrets in this world but she is one of the few I have. I hope for her sake she takes a long look at her life and makes some changes. Now, that's enough about Bailey because I didn’t come here to talk about her, or any of the other women I've been with. I came here to talk about us."

  "I'm busy, Theo. The doors are about to open so this conversation is going to have to wait."

  My heart starts to race in panic. If I leave now I know it will be that much more difficult to get her alone. Her guard is up with me, and understandably so, but I need to break it back down. I've made a little leeway with her right now because she's openly talking to me, and I'm not trying to strip her naked. This is progress. I can't leave.

  "What is it that you'll be doing when the doors open?"

  "What I do every Saturday. Feeding a few hundred of Chicago's homeless population. We provide them with a good meal, some snacks to take with them when they leave, and a list of places in the city that will provide a warm place for a limited amount of people to sleep this week."

  She's a saint. Everything I learn about this woman just solidifies what a pure heart she has. Where did she come from?

  I find myself volunteering before I can even think the words through. "I'll help."

  Her eyes squint at me skeptically. "That's okay. I think we have enough volunteers."

  "You can never have enough volunteers."

  "Um, okay. You can help me in the kitchen, I guess. I'm making hot chocolate and pouring it in disposable travel cups for them to take on their way out of the facility. This way they'll have something warm to drink for the next hour or two."

  "You act like it's freezing outside, Cassie. It's a little chilly, but it's late spring not the dead of winter. The sun will warm them up."

  "Wow, you're an a–" she pauses for a brief second before continuing, "You're a real piece of work."

  I laugh and wink at her. "Thanks."

  Rolling her eyes, she turns and walks towards the kitchen and I follow her. We step through the double swinging doors into and empty kitchen and she starts to dig through the cabinets, slowly pulling out all the ingredients she'll need to make the hot chocolate.

  "What can I do?" I ask, looking around the spotless kitchen.

  "In the cabinet underneath the microwave you'll find pots. Can you grab the two largest ones and fill them with water before placing them on the stove. Then turn the burners on medium heat."

  She doesn't even look at me as she gives out her orders. She's completely focused on her own task. I grab the pots, fill them with water and place them on the stove. As the water slowly starts to heat, I turn to watch her. She's relaxed and comfortable, completely in her own element here in the kitchen.

  And even in her volunteer outfit I find myself fighting off an erection.

  Walking over to her, I spot an antique small radio on the long island of the kitchen. I turn it on and the loud sound of static fills my ears. I lower the volume, playing with the tuner until I get a decent radio signal. I instantly recognize the song as something that used to play at the roller rink when I was at boarding school.

  As I Swear by All 4 One plays on the radio I slide up behind Cassie and rest my hands on her hips. She's scooping out cups of cocoa from a large tin can and she stills, dropping the measuring cup in the powder.

  I lower my mouth to her ear and softly start to sing along with the song, ignoring the fact that I sing for shit. I switch to humming when the lyrics turn to words of lifelong commitment, but as I hum Cassie starts to slowly move her hips to the beat of the music.

  I turn her in my arms so she's facing me and then take her arms, placing them around my neck before resting my hands back on her hips. "Dance with me."

  It comes out as more of a statement than a question, but I still give her a chance to tell me no. She surprises me by tightening her grip around my neck and whispering, "Okay."

  We shift back and forth awkwardly and I'm beginning to regret my impulsiveness. I should be having fun with this. I willingly have her in my arms and I don't want to fuck that up now. Loosening her grip around my neck, I dip her back and then pull her up so she's flush against me. She giggles against my chest and I can't help the smile that spreads across my face because she looks likes she's genuinely enjoying this.

  Who knew this cheesy shit actually works?

  The song changes to I want to be Sedated by The Ramones and our moment is over. I release Cassie so she can finish up with the hot chocolate and I go to check on the water.

  "The water's almost at a boil. What do we do next?"

  She brings her measured cups of cocoa over along with some cinnamon and stands next to me at the stove. "It's pretty simple. We'll just mix the cocoa in with a teaspoon or two of cinnamon and it'll be ready to go. At home I make my hot chocolate with milk and fresh chocolate but we can't do that here. We don't have enough money in the budget for that much milk and bars of chocolate."

  "I'm sure this will taste just a good."

  Her face squishes up in disgust as she huffs. "This powdered chocolate doesn’t hold a candle to the real thing. Haven't you ever had homemade hot chocolate before?"

  I'm not sure but I don't think I ever have. I didn't have the June Cleaver m
other who made home cooked meals, helped me with my homework and went to my baseball games. My mother's only concern was to make sure she hung on my dad's arm at events and attended all the right social gatherings, while my dad was out fucking women half his age.

  "I don't think I have," I reply coolly.

  "That's... surprising."

  "Glad I can surprise you." I don't know why it bothers me so much that I've never had a homemade cup of hot chocolate before, but I guess it just reminds me of my mother’s inadequacies.

  "I'll have to make you a cup one day," she replies smiling at me. Her smile is such a turn on and before I can even think about the fact that I'm about to ruin our nice morning together, I lean in and kiss her on the cheek, near the crease of her mouth. My lips leave her skin as I inhale her natural scent mixed with soap. I'm less than an inch away from her mouth and I notice her breathing halt before she starts to take deep breaths in and out. I watch her lips tremble as her tongue darts out to lick her bottom lip. My eyes trail up her face until our eyes lock.

  She's not moving away. In fact, she's not even looking away. I don't want to fuck this up again, but I'm unable to resist her when we're close like this.

  Hesitantly, I lean in and brush my lips against hers. Her bottom lip dragging against my top lip. When she doesn’t stop me I kiss her again and again.

  Her soft, full lips move tenderly against mine and it's nice. I have no desire to speed things up. I'm not thinking up plunging my tongue in her mouth or stripping her naked and laying her down on the kitchen island. Okay, maybe I am but I'm also enjoying the feeling of her lips on mine.

  My hand comes up to caress her cheek before I slowly pull away, ending what might possibly be the best kiss of my life. I needed to end the kiss now or I would have followed my impulses and stripped her naked, with hundreds of other people on the other side of the kitchen door.

  Her eyelids flutter and she slowly peels them open and breathes out, "Wow."

  "Yeah, wow," I reply back, letting her know I felt exactly what she felt.