Morning Sickness, Page 2

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  Two weeks after this incident, Denise was feeling stuck in her apartment. She was following Debbie’s advice to stay home until she could cope with her body’s changes. “The first few months were the worst for me,” Debbie had said. “Your hormones are all outta whack. Just take some time off. You'll know when you can work again.”

  Denise thanked her sincerely for being sympathetic and offering the advice. Moreover, she was glad that Debbie understood the embarrassing scene at the restaurant had only been a moment of pregnant hysteria. Delusions and hallucinations were a common side effect of pregnancy, Denise had read that in a book.

  Unfortunately, it was not clear that she would ever feel prepared to work again. Each hour hit her with new forms of queasiness and pain. Some of it was expected, like throwing up at 5:36 each morning. This had become so regular now that she simply got out of bed fifteen minutes early to sit by the toilet and wait for that special time to puke. It eased the nausea, but that was only half the issue.

  Dizziness, which started in spells, now became a permanent state of being that made the world seem slanted and disorienting—like she could suddenly feel the Earth's orbital rotation. And, of course, there were the food cravings.

  Denise never imagined that cravings would be an issue. Her mother used to tell stories about how she had been ravenous for granola and avocado. The idea of a man making midnight trips to Walmart just to get all the food she needed was how she pictured it. Silly, romantic even, but not true. For Denise, pregnancy cravings weren't cravings at all but bodily desires that had to be met lest she collapse on the floor in a heap of tears and cramps.

  She learned this from experience after having her first desire for meat. Hamburger, steak, hot dog, chops, slices, cuts, her body screamed for any kind (the thicker and redder the better). Not a big deal, so long as there was enough meat to go around, but no laughing matter when there was not. She tried popcorn and crackers as substitutes but that experiment resulted in four hours of the worst anguish she had ever felt in her life.

  As it turned out, being pregnant could be a real pain in the ass and Denise was getting tired of taking care of herself. She was also lonely and frustrated with Andy. He still hadn’t returned any of her calls. Her last messages even hinted that she had something extra special to tell him. It was getting ridiculous.

  This time Denise decided to call until he finally answered.

  “Hello?” Andy’s voice was sleep-filmed and angry.

  “Hello, baby,” she said, careful with her words. As always, she wanted the moment to be special.

  “Why do you keep calling me? I told you we can only talk on the Internet.” His tone was rude, but it was typical for him to be cranky in the morning. Perhaps it would be best not to test his patience and cut to the chase.

  “I'm carrying your baby,” she said.

  There was a brief pause. Denise beamed as she waited for his response.

  “Don’t be stupid,” Andy snapped. “Look, I don't feel like playing games. You're a really nice girl, but I don't think it's going to work out. I'm doing a lot of training now and I don't have time to talk to you anymore. It's nothing personal, I'm just really busy. Sorry, okay?”

  Not at all what she expected, but denial was a common reaction. That was also in a book. She wasn't going to allow him to start believing his own lies, though. “I'm five weeks along,” she breathed, hitting him with the facts. “It's so wonderful, what we've always wanted. We'll be so happy together.”

  Andy let loose a dramatic sigh of frustration. “You're crazy,” he said and disconnected.

  After a long pause, Denise spoke into the dead phone line. “I love you, too.”