American Dreams (The Idea Book), Page 2

  3.) Boat slip, anchorage, dry dock

  4.) Stand up head, stand up shower, outboard motor or inboard.

  5.) Geographic location for boat.

  6.) Time division scheme desired.

  7.) Smoking or Non in cabin.

  8.) With or without dinghy, With or without sonar and/or GPS

  For those seeking a boating partner as well as an ownership partner the site could offer to match based upon the above variables plus on personality traits that are important to compatibility (regardless of gender).

  A successful YachtsMatch.com would add immeasurably to the wealth of yacht brokers and the yacht industry as a whole. Yacht brokers surely will be unable to resist contracting with you for referrals of YachtsMatch boat partnerships. The business formula to protect and maximize profits for YachtsMatch needs to be modified from VacationHomesMatch as yacht sales are much less broker oriented than home sales. You need a commitment from each member, at the outset, to purchase a yacht, from one of your several sponsored yacht brokers or to forfeit a deposit of several hundred dollars or more. In turn, you would refund the deposit: a.) if no partnership match was found through your service or

  b.) if the member partnership made good on the commitment to buy from one of your sponsored yacht brokers. (In which case they get the refund directly from the yacht broker as a discount off the sale price).

  This business model should succeed in directing most member partnerships to purchase with sponsored brokers. It should thereby ensure that you and your sponsored brokers would enjoy a very profitable relationship. Most people have a strong aversion to forfeit of deposits. In those instances where they choose to buy from other than one of your sponsored yacht brokers then you’ll get to keep the forfeited deposit as a consolation. As long as you haven’t set the deposit amount too low you will continue to have a profitable business model.

  Chapter 4: Love Lockets

  Lockets have been around forever, used to hold pictures and a lock of hair but few lockets if any are the right size for holding a condom. Maybe that is what they were originally designed for. At the very least that is what they should have been designed for. Forgive me for using 2010’s most overused word but this is the one idea in this book that will go viral (no pun intended) within months of publication.

  Most couples, who use condoms, prefer not to put them on until just before entry which poses the problem of fumbling for the condom on the night stand while in the heat of passion (not too bad with the lights on but really tough in the dark). Some women are adept at reaching the condom and turning it’s application into an erotic act of foreplay, but lets face it those ladies are a rare and wondrous find. Of course the art can be developed between steady couples, but who has less need of condoms (in terms of STD risk) than steady couples.

  When I originally conceived of the idea of Love Lockets the only known deadly STD (sexually transmitted disease) was curable with penicillin so the condom was intended more as a contraceptive to prevent pregnancy than as a prophylactic to prevent STD’s. In those more innocent times I envisioned an ad that read “ERA The Equal Responsibility Adornment” with a pretty woman wearing the locket with the caption “Love Lockets, she wears it for him, he wears it for her”. A trifle chauvinistic, perhaps but it was different time. It was the time of the fight for ERA (for you, youngsters that’s The Equal Rights Amendment).

  The advent of the incurable HIV (ultimately deadly as AIDS) has reversed things. Now, (once again) disease prevention trumps contraception, as the reason to use a condom. Now, he wears it as much for himself as for her and until they exchange HIV test results and are dating each other exclusively the condom is literally, a matter of life and death. The greater incidence of other less than deadly STD's reemphasizes the importance of the condom in the world of singles. And it is in the casual encounter (where the risk of STD’s is highest) that the Love Locket will be most useful in transforming what had been a clumsy disruption into a smooth transition from bare to sheathed.

  While lockets have traditionally been worn around the neck, the Love Locket would be more suitably attached to a woman's garter which places it in the most convenient and contiguous place for its’ use. And besides that garters are so sexy. But worn as a necklace, it would in many circumstances be every bit as accessible and sexy, as on a garter, especially if the necklace were of the lace cloth choker variety so it didn’t dangle and tangle and was kept in place to be readily found at the right moment. The choker with a cameo locket has the appeal of chaste yet bawdy, the naughty but nice combo that so many men find to be highly erotic. It could also be worn as a bracelet snug on the wrist and again readily accessible or on an armband.

  The world is way overdue for Love Lockets, which should make some creative entrepreneur very wealthy and content in the knowledge, that the wealth was earned in providing jewelry, that fostered safe sex practices, (that would most certainly have saved lives) while facilitating a smoother more enjoyable sexual experience for millions, upon millions, upon millions of occasions. Though envisioned for the privacy of the boudoir, Love Lockets would probably be more profitable if marketed as the chic jewelry of brazen rebellion against yesterday’s sexual mores. But it will still work, promoted strictly for display in the boudoir.

  Chapter 5: Club Costume

  From time to time most everyone enjoys wearing a costume but so do a lot of jerks. That’s why few go the costume route unless it’s Halloween or a costume party they’ve been invited to. Those affairs are more often than not an eclectic mix of attempts at glamour or cool or attempts at humor but rarely are the costumes determined by one specific theme. In movies the well to do and some college frat houses may have such wonderful theme costume parties but I number among the many who haven’t been to such affairs. We want in.

  It might not work outside a resort community or a city like Los Angeles or New Orleans, but it need work in only one or more of these settings. There is a need for a nightclub (with or without a restaurant but with food) that offers the theme costume experience to their customers if only on weekends and holidays (or six - seven days a week). Call it Movieland or Stageland or TVLand but lets have one or more nightclubs where everyone dresses in character of the theme chosen for that night (or that weekend or that week or even that month). Themes could be based on a movie such as Gone With the Wind or The Three Musketeers.

  This is what I envision, for what we will call Club Costume. When the guest arrives a host or hostess shall escort them to dressing rooms where they will select a costume to rent for the evening (unless they arrived already costumed in appropriate attire for the nights theme). Only costumes in keeping with the theme shall be available to choose from. If the theme is Marie Antoinette's France then the costumes will all come from that period. For ladies they could choose anything from the costume of a scullery maid to that of a duchess while the men could choose anything from stable boy to a duke. Similarly, if the theme was the Old West a woman could choose anything from the costume of a farmer’s wife to that of a dance hall girl and a man could choose anything from a cowboy to a saloon keeper.

  Guests will be given the full treatment head to toe. Depending on the theme it could be a wig, a tiara, a gown, tights, stockings and garters or cowboy boots with spurs. Male or female, their face would get treated by a make up artist, as if they were appearing on stage or in a movie. Wait staff and bartenders will also be attired for the period in gray and white colors to distinguish them from guests who will be more colorfully attired (which could include black). The nightclubs decor will suit the theme of the evening, as well.

  As the foregoing suggests, such club’s require much more square feet than your average club. It requires space to house the props and changes in decor. Space is needed to store all the costumes, and for male and female dressing rooms. The club will need to serve a large number of guests to cover the overhead. If you like to think big you could divide the club into several bars each with the decor that serves on
e or two themes. This would take more real estate but it would allow several themes to be offered per night and offer the savings realized by volume. I’m grandiose so I prefer the latter. If it worked in a location such as Hollywood or Orlando you could then franchise the operation to other resort locations or keep it an exclusive feature of one special resort.

  Traditionally the Gay community has embraced costumed affairs. It’s an obvious venue for cross-dressing with little risk of opprobrium from the Straight community. Hence, the Gay community might embrace such clubs as their own. This could prove highly profitable as the Gay community is known to have more disposable income than the Straight community. But experience tells us, that if Gay’s embraced the clubs then Straights for the most part would shun the clubs.

  The shrewd entrepreneur will try to have it both ways (no sexual innuendo intended). The trick is to serve both populations without driving away either. What seems to me an obvious solution is to have two or three nights a week when cross-dressing is permitted (or even encouraged) and to bar cross-dressing the rest of the week. This doesn’t bar Gays from the club when there is no cross-dressing permitted and likewise doesn’t bar Straights from the club when cross-dressing is permitted. But it does set an atmosphere, on non-cross dressing nights, that most Straights would find more comfortable.

  You risk losing the patronage of those in the Gay community who interpreted the policy as an unwarranted concession to homophobia. But I believe you would lose far greater numbers in the Straight community without such a policy. I am also well aware that many transvestites are heterosexuals. They would need to be comfortable cross dressing in a primarily Gay crowd, unless of course, I’ve got this all wrong and the majority would be made up of heterosexual transvestites who just can’t get enough of cross dressing in a costume club.

  Chapter 6: The Grilled Cheese Grill

  How can you beat the prices at McDonald’s? Simply take the meat out of the equation. The Grilled Cheese Grill is a fast food restaurant that specializes in grilled cheese sandwiches, which you should be able to sell at lower prices than a fast food burger (cheese normally costs less than meat). This doesn’t mean that grilled cheese sandwiches with meat inside won’t be sold but you’ll pay extra for the meat (and you won’t get the meat without the cheese). But meat (other than bacon) is the least of extras you can offer on grilled cheese sandwiches. They can be enriched with diced tomatoes, chopped onions, mushrooms, celery bits, (or most anything you can put on a pizza) and in combinations of two more.

  Cheese can be offered in several varieties: American, Swiss, Monterey Jack, Cheddar, Provolone or in combinations of two or more of the above. It can also be served on several breads: white, wheat, multigrain, sourdough bread, French bread, Italian bread, or garlic bread. When The Grilled Cheese Grill chain is first launched it should serve only grilled cheese sandwiches (without meat) along with french fries, soup, salads, soft drinks, coffee, tea, milk shakes, and frozen yogurt. Meat products can be added later if needed to broaden the appeal of the restaurants. The variety of breads and cheeses should probably also be limited to three or four at the outset. This would keep it simple and allow for menu expansion, as a means of generating interest once the chain is established.

  The Grilled Cheese Grill provides a whole new line of fast food restaurants that can readily compete on a cost basis, offering a food that Americans universally love. True, hard-core vegans will shun dairy products but your ovo-lacto vegetarians and the fish eaters are going to love this alternative to a beef or chicken fast food establishment. I’ll be amazed if a big company such as Kraft doesn’t jump on this before some independent entrepreneur can get a chain up and running. Once the brand gains recognition beyond American borders it can easily be taken international.

  Addendum:

  I recently read in the paper, somebody has begun a version of this

  using a food truck. With some financing he/she could be the one.

  Chapter 7: Big Swings

  Whenever I meet someone who grew up on Long Island (as I did) I always tell them of my love for Jone’s Beach and universally they concur that they too loved Jone’s Beach. On a visit I made several years ago I was saddened to see that the swimming pool no longer had five diving boards (two low, two medium flanking a high dive). I am sure it saves the State of New York on insurance costs to have only two low boards. How sad to deprive this generation of children the thrill and athletic knowledge of diving off the high board (and the medium boards, as well). But this is only vaguely tangential to the subject of swings. However, it is related on the grounds that my only experience with big swings (i.e., swings that adults and teenagers may enjoy) comes from enjoying them in my youth at Jone’s Beach. I don’t know if they still exist at Jone’s Beach or fell victim, like the high dive to tight fisted myopia in service of fiscal conservatism.

  In any case, big swings is not an idea of my own invention, someone else deserves the kudos for this wonderful conversion of playground equipment for kids to playground equipment for grown ups. In all my travels across America and Abroad I have never seen a big swing anywhere but Jone’s Beach. And I have gone to playgrounds everywhere I’ve lived which includes: New York, New Jersey, South Dakota, Oklahoma, Alaska and California. If I’m to enjoy a swing it’s a child's swing and I must be careful lest my feet scrape the ground, as the seat hangs low for children’s use. And I can’t swing very high because the swings are a standard height of no more than nine or ten feet at best.

  Why all this fuss about big swings? Swings provide exercise for your back, buttocks, chest, tummy, arms and legs without punishing your knees or feet as you would by walking or jogging for exercise. What could be better than an exercise that works all these muscle groups and is fun to do. The only impediment is that the swings in parks, playgrounds and backyards are designed for the enjoyment of children, not for adults.

  Big swings twelve to sixteen feet high and designed to hold adults up to 350 pounds or more need to be made available for backyards and playgrounds. For exercise value adults need only add weights to increase the value of the exercise. If you have good knees then you can add ankle weights and otherwise you can add weights with a divers vest or wrist weights. The beauty is that once you reach the height of the arc that a big swing affords you are compelled to keep a maintenance pace or to slowly lowering your arc down to a stop, wherein you start all over until you reach the number or reps or a time goal you set for the exercise. The best part is that this activity is so stress relieving and can be done while sitting down (it’s every couch potato’s dream).

  I don’t know that there’s a lot of money to be made in big swings but if they caught on it could be a small fortune for the playground equipment industry. And in any case it would improve the physical health of the country and that’s always a good thing.

  Section III

  A Nonprofit Idea to Help Your Favorite Charities

  Chapter 8: Midnight at the Mall (The Mall Ball)

  Every New Years Eve there are millions of Americans who haven’t been invited to a New Years party and don’t want to throw one of their own but who would still enjoy attending a party. Some of them will go to a bar or nightclub where many others prefer to celebrate but just as many or more end up sitting at home watching the ball drop at Times Square. Unless you’re a youngster the latter now means suffering through Rap music, (might just as well go to bed at eleven).

  I can’t think of a better opportunity to raise money for charity than through a Midnight at the Mall on New Year’s Eve. December 31st is the last day on the calendar year that you can donate to charity and claim it when filing your income taxes in April. Malls are closed but still have their holiday decorations on display. With volunteer manpower from a sponsoring group you can set up tables and chairs throughout the mall. You can rope off sections for dancing and stores in the mall can provide big screen high definition televisions (to promote their sale) where you can air music videos (and videos of mus
ic from movies). Food could be provided by one or two restaurants at the food court (who stay open for the night) or by caterers at the food court (should the restaurants decline to participate).

  Any sorority, fraternity or service club (e.g. Kiwanis, Elks, Rotary or Jaycees) could sponsor the Mall Ball. The key to attracting the broadest participation is to offer to raise funds for any and all charities from a local Boys Club or community college to nationwide charity (such as the Salvation Army or American Red Cross). The sponsoring group would set up a booth to take donations and/or pledges for the charity of ones choice. All donations and pledges would be recorded on computers.

  Sponsors would also man all the mall entrances to charge an admission fee to cover the cost of entertainment, complimentary champagne (served between 11:30 pm and 12:30 am) and to raise money for the sponsoring group. Malls would be asked to contribute security guards and clean up. The ball would run from an hour after the malls normal closing time to somewhere between 1:00 and 2:00 am.

  My dream is to see Midnight at the Mall (the Mall Ball) go nationwide gaining a special broadcast on closed circuit television that is hosted by celebrities and shows music videos and musical scenes from movies to entertain the guests at the Ball. Those holding rights for royalties to such videos and movie scenes would be asked to waive the royalties or donate them to a charity. This would lend a special cachet to these events and a sense of a shared National community that would add immeasurably to the attraction of Midnight at the Mall.

  Chapter 9: Cameras and Voice Print for School or Prison

  Though the technology may have limited value to everyday classroom teachers, (especially those who have discipline mastered) voice print computers for substitute teachers would be world changing. Many teachers would object to a recording device in their classroom on grounds that it is an intrusion on their privacy, as a teacher, so it is important that teachers enjoy the option of refusing the technology, should they feel uncomfortable with it for any reason.