Dreams of a Virgin

  Dreams of a Virgin

  Published by John Foltin at Smashwords

  Copyright 2011 John Foltin

  Cover Art by Donna Casey

  Smashwords Edition, License Notes

  This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  INTRODUCTION

  WORKING TOWARDS A DREAM

  BLIND DATE

  HITCHHIKER’S NIGHTMARE

  SHAUNA’S SONG

  TUTOR OF LOVE

  DREAMING OF THE RICH & FAMOUS

  FRIEND AND LOVER?

  STALKING FOR DREAMS

  CYBER DREAM

  HERO OF MY DREAMS

  BAILE DEL SUEÑO (DREAM DANCE)

  DREAM WORKOUT

  YEAR IN THE WAITING

  ODD MAN OUT?

  FOOTBALL HERO

  BANKING ON A DREAM

  TODAY’S TOP STORY

  CONQUERING OUR DREAMS

  THE MAIN EVENT

  KARMA

  THE KIDNAPPING

  ONCE UPON A TIME...

  MONEY CAN’T BUY HAPPINESS?

  LONG LOST LOVE FOUND

  CLEANING THE DIRTY MIND

  SECRET TO SUCCESS

  THE BEST MAN

  CSI DREAMLAND

  JUST SIT RIGHT BACK...

  CAMPFIRE DREAMS

  MERRY CHRISTMAS

  DREAM VACATION

  AUCTION

  ALL IS NOT LOST

  CRIME DOES PAY

  HOPELESSLY CLUELESS

  STAR-CROSSED LOVERS

  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

  PERFECTION

  REALITY

  INTRODUCTION

  This is the story of Jeff, a forty-year-old virgin. He has had trouble talking to women all his life. He has only had a handful of dates in his life.

  He was bullied back in high school and junior high. Girls would feign interest in him to see his reaction. Guys would question his sexuality.

  He is not an unattractive man, but he believes he is. Because women don’t give him the time of day, he feels that there is something wrong with him to drive them off.

  He is a great guy. One of the nicest men you will ever meet. An old-fashioned guy with old-fashioned beliefs. Hard working. Talented.

  His first date wasn’t until he was twenty-six. He has never had a relationship last longer than a month. He hasn’t had a date in more than six years. While most from his high school class are married or were married, he has never come close.

  His biggest wish in life is to become a father. He would love to have a child of his own, to pass down his knowledge and values to. At forty, however, he sees that dream slipping further and further away.

  He’s fallen on some hard times. He’s never been able to enjoy the finer things in life. He’s always had to get by on the bare necessities.

  He gets depressed easily, mostly because of how lonely he gets. When he gets depressed, he dreams. He dreams on how his life could be better. He dreams of what will happen when that first time does happen.

  Dreams. The world of the subconscious. We can’t control our actions in that world, but they can control us if we let them. We can be anything we want to be, do anything we want to do.

  This is a collection of some of the dreams that Jeff has had. Forty dreams in all, one for every year he has lived. Some are innocent; others are extreme. Some are naughty; others are sweet.

  A word of warning: Some of these dreams contain violence against women. I do not condone the actions. I apologize in advance if anyone is offended by any of these stories; it was not my intention to offend. Just remember... These are only dreams. Nothing else.

  With that, let’s take a look inside the mind of this forty-year-old virgin.

  WORKING TOWARDS A DREAM

  Have you ever wanted to ask someone at work out but were too afraid of what would happen if she said no? Well, what would you do if she asked you?

  For months, I have had my eyes on Kimberly. I can describe her without giving her a second look. Long brown hair. Brown eyes. Petite. Very nicely dressed. Very friendly.

  About six months ago, she started working here. Although she worked in a different department, I saw her every day. I fell in love the first time my eyes gazed on her. I couldn’t wait until eleven o’clock to go to lunch just to pass by her again.

  That was just it. I would pass by her. Nothing else. I had to get up the courage to say ‘Hi’ to her. For weeks, I tried. When I opened my mouth, only air came out. I thought, “What’s wrong with you? Two little letters. H. I. Hi. That’s it. Why can’t you say that to her?” Finally one day, she caught my stare. She reacted.

  “Hi.”

  “Uhh. Ahh.”

  I walked by. I couldn’t talk to her. She looked back, wondering, “What’s wrong with that guy?” I could tell by the expression on her face. I was so embarrassed. Now she’d never give me the time of day. That didn’t stop me. I vowed that one day I would talk to her.

  A week passed, and I tried again. Still, I couldn’t get the words out. I would still look in her general direction, but my voice was mute. Finally, I did respond to her. I passed by her, and she said, “Hi there.”

  “Uhh. Hi.”

  I did it. I spoke to her. Now was that so bad? No, it wasn’t. Now to get more than ‘Hi’ out. I had worked with her for four months, and all I’ve said to her was ‘Hi’. What else could I say to her?

  Then, one day, I had to take a late lunch. By coincidence, it was the same time that she took lunch. I usually sit by myself. For some reason, Kimberly sat at my table today.

  “Hi.”

  “Hi”, I said under my voice.

  “My name’s Kimberly. What’s yours?”

  “Jeff.”

  “So, you busy down there today?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Not very talkative, are we?”

  “No.”

  “C’mon. I don’t bite.”

  “I know.”

  “So, what do you do here?”

  “Key some stuff.”

  “Well, nice talking to you.”

  “Okay.”

  I blew it. My one chance to talk to her, and I choked. She’d never want to talk to me again. What a first impression! My only chance at redemption was to talk to her. I tried, but I couldn’t. For three weeks, I tried with little success. I figured that with all the guys she worked with, why would she waste her time with me?

  Again, I took a late lunch. Again, I sat alone. Again, she sat with me.

  “Hi, Jeff.”

  “Hi.”

  “I’ve noticed you noticing me.”

  “Well, yeah.”

  “Well, I’ve noticed you too.”

  “You have?”

  “Yeah. I think you’re kinda cute.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, I think you’re cute too.”

  “Thanks. So, are you seeing anyone?”

  “No.”

  “Really. Me either.”

  “Someone like you?”

  “Yeah. So, what are you doing this weekend?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Well, you want to go out this Saturday?”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yeah. Maybe we can go to the movies or something.”

  “Well, Okay.”

  “Great. Here’s my number. Give me a call this week.�
��

  “Okay. I will.”

  “Well, see ya.”

  Wow! What just happened here? A beautiful woman asked me out. I spent all this time thinking of how to express myself to her, and she turned around and does it to me. Talk about ironic.

  So, that night, I called her. We got to know each other better. I was actually talking to her. We agreed to meet around six o’clock Saturday night. I had a few days to figure out how to impress her.

  Saturday came. I was dressed in a nice sweater and Dockers. I had a flower ready to give to her. I had everything planned out. I was so nervous that I could hear my knees knocking.

  I arrived at her house around 5:45. I was nervous walking to her house. I rang the doorbell. Her roommate answered the door. She said Kimberly was still getting ready. So, I waited for about ten minutes.

  Suddenly, an angel descended the staircase. Kimberly looked like a vision from Heaven. She was wearing a teal skirt, white blouse, and white shoes. Her hair was all done up. I stood there, my mouth agape.

  “Hi, Jeff. You ready?”

  “Wow! You look great.”

  “Thanks. So do you.”

  “Thanks. Oh, this is for you.” I give her a pink rose.

  “Oh. That’s so sweet. Thank you.”

  We went. I first decided to take her to play mini-golf. She’d never played before. I offered to teach her.

  As we approached the first hole, an easy one, I offered to go first to show her how it’s done. I placed the ball, gripped the putter, swung back, and hit the ball. Hole-in-one! She got excited.

  Now, it was her turn. She placed her pink ball on the tee. She wasn’t sure how to hit the ball or hold the club. So, I stood behind her, putting her hands on the putter the way they’re supposed to. I told her to stand with her feet spread apart shoulder wide. We swung back and forward. Hole-in-one! She jumped up and hugged me.

  I helped her on a few other holes. She did the rest on her own. To make her happy, unbeknownst to her, I let her win. She was so elated to win.

  Afterwards, we went to eat at a nice Italian restaurant. I was a perfect gentleman, opening the door, pulling out her chair, the works. She was eating this up. I ordered the fettuccine alfredo; she ordered the veal parmigiana. Neither of us drink, so we ordered Pepsi instead of wine. We got to know more about each other while we waited for the food. We went through two baskets of bread sticks waiting.

  After dinner, we took a nice, long drive, listening to some romantic music. We avoided all the traffic.

  It was peaceful. I had trouble keeping my eyes on the road because of her beauty.

  Finally, we got back to her place. I walked her to her door, holding her hand.

  “Well, I had a wonderful time tonight,” she said.

  “Me too. I hope we can do this again sometime.”

  “How ‘bout next Saturday?”

  “Great. I’ll call you.”

  She leaned over and kissed me square on the lips. I staggered back to the car. I felt dizzy. My lips were numb. I’d never felt better in my life.

  The next week, we exchanged many a glance at work. I was trying to figure out how to top our first date.

  Saturday came again. I was dressed in a black button-down shirt, black pants, and black dress shoes. I decided against the flower on the second date. She answered the door, wearing a royal blue pant suit.

  “Hi, Kimberly.”

  “Hello. Come on in.”

  “Sorry I didn’t bring a flower this time. I couldn’t find another one that so matched your beauty.”

  She started to blush. “Thank you.”

  “So, shall we go?”

  “Okay. Where we going?”

  “I figured we’d check out a movie. What kind do you like?”

  “Anything romantic.”

  “I know the perfect movie.”

  We went to the theater and sat way in the back. We shared a bucket of popcorn. The movie started. I put my arm around her. She rested her head on my chest. We both enjoyed the movie.

  From there, we went for a nice walk along the river. We gazed up at the stars and moon. We looked at the Big Dipper, Little Dipper, and Orion the Hunter. Well, at least she did. My eyes were fixed on her.

  We went back to her place. She invited me inside for a drink. Her roommate was gone for the evening. We sat on the sofa next to each other. She kissed me. Then, she did something I didn’t expect.

  She started kissing me more passionately. I was surprised to feel her tongue inside my mouth and her hand gripping my back side. She invited me to her room. What was I going to say? No?

  We went to her room. She started to unbutton my shirt. I didn’t know what to do. This had never happened to me before. She took off my shirt. She asked me to unbutton her top. Nervously, I did. She was wearing a sexy red lace bra under her top. She then proceeded to unbuckle my belt and unzip my pants. Here I was, standing in my plain white BVD boxers. She took off her pants. She was wearing red lace panties to match her top. She took me to her bed. She put her hand down my boxers and massaged me. I started feeling weird.

  We lay down on her bed. I pulled off her panties. She pulled down my BVD’s. I inserted my now erect penis into her and proceeded to make love. I unfastened her bra. I draped it down over her shoulders. I was about to expose her breasts.

  That’s when the alarm went off and woke me up. Thanks a lot!

  I tried to fall back asleep after hitting the snooze button, but alas, Kimberly was gone.

  BLIND DATE

  Most people dread blind dates, the fear of the unknown. Some work. Most don’t. Here is Jeff’s ideal blind date.

  I had been on a few blind dates in my life. None of them had ever turned out well. My expectations were shot down.

  That’s why I was so surprised when my friend Michael called me up one Saturday.

  “Hey Jeff. What’s up?”

  “Not much, Michael. How about you?”

  “Okay. Listen, I’m calling because I met this great woman last week. We’ve been talking every day.”

  “That’s great.”

  “Yeah. Well, anyway, she’s got a sister who’s perfect for you.” I’ve heard this before. I knew what he was going to say next.

  “She’s got a nice personality.” She’s ugly.

  “She’s fun to be around.” She’s very ugly.

  “And she’s very nice.” Unbelievably ugly.

  “So, what do you think? You want to go out with her Saturday?”

  Since I hadn’t had a date in six months, I agreed. I figured, “What did I have to lose? She might be alright.”

  I had a week to think about it. Or a week to back out of it. No, I decided to go through with it. She couldn’t be that bad.

  Michael called me Monday. “Hey, Jeff. I talked to Emily. She said her sister Tiffany would love to go out with you.” She’s desperate.

  All week I tried to picture what she looks like. 5' tall. 185 pounds. Not pretty. Boring.

  Before I knew it, it was Saturday. Michael picked me up. We were going to go on a double date. We arrived at their house. Emily answered the door and hugged Michael. Michael introduced me to Emily.

  “Nice to meet you, Jeff.”

  “Likewise.”

  “Tiffany’s almost ready. C’mon in.”

  Five minutes later, Tiffany entered the room. All my visions were clearly distorted. Brownish hair halfway down her back. Hazel eyes. Ruby red lips. The cutest dimples. 5' 5". About 130 pounds. Pink blouse. White skirt, knee high. An angelic voice.

  “Hi, Jeff.”

  “Hi.” I was nervous. She was everything I had hoped for and nothing I expected.

  We talked all the way to the restaurant. Turned out we had a lot in common.

  At the restaurant, we sat together in a booth. I ordered for me and Tiffany. Then, Michael and I went to the restroom.

  “So, what do you think?” Michael asked me.

  “She’s great. I can’t believe it. She seems to be hanging on
my every word. Thanks, Michael.”

  “Glad to hear it, Jeff. I knew it would work.”

  As we went back to the table, Emily and Tiffany were staring at us. Apparently, they missed us.

  When we went to the movies, I asked Michael if we could sit separately. He said okay. Michael and Emily sat in one section. Tiffany and I sat in another.

  When the movie started, I felt her hand on my leg. In response, I put my arm around her. She started blowing in my ear. I knew then that before the night was over, things would get out of control.

  As the movie ended, her head was resting on me. I thought she was asleep.

  I asked Michael to drop me and Tiffany off at my house. I’d drive her back. This would let Michael and Emily be alone. I knew Tiffany would want this.

  So, holding hands, we walked to my house. We sat on the sofa. I offered her a soda. I went to the kitchen to grab two cans of Coke. On the way back, I dimmed the lights.

  I gave her the soda. She said maybe later. She grabbed my hands.

  “You know, Emily described you to me, but I had no idea you were so cute.”

  “I thought the same thing about you.”

  She drew me closer. “And so interesting.”

  Closer. “And sexy.”

  As she drew me still closer, our lips met. I pulled back at first. Then, I kissed her. From there, I think she misinterpreted my actions.

  She started getting even friskier. She started to unbutton her blouse.

  “Whoa. Wait a minute. I’m not that type of guy.”

  “What’s the matter? Don’t you like me?”

  “Of course I do. I’m just not ready for that yet.”

  “Sure you are. You just don’t know it.”

  She proceeded to run her fingers through my hair. She scissored my leg with hers. She whispered in my ear.

  “You know you want me, you sexy stud, you.”

  I gave in. I finished unbuttoning her blouse. She started on my pants. I took off her blouse as she took off my pants.

  “I know you might not be ready for sex, so I’ll try something else.”

  She took down my boxers. She then proceeded to put my Woodrow in her mouth and treated it like a Tootsie Roll Pop. Except there was no chewy center.