Vampire's Soul

  He took a breath, and Rand heard that unsettling note in his voice, felt the intensity of it. "I'm a vampire now, and I'm cool with that. Thanks to the seed magic stuff, I was already something different from most humans. That was why I was taken. But she was my mother. I remembered her."

  Cai paused, realizing he was letting his need to strike out take over his emotions. But God, he did remember her. Two hundred years, and he still remembered her smell, the touch of her hand, her eyes. Her smile. "I remember enough of her that, one day, when I'm strong enough, Graham will die at my hands. I've already taken two of the others who were at that audience. It's not my main reason for eating and sleeping, but I know our paths will cross when the time is right."

  Silence ruled the room. When Lyssa did speak, it was in an unexpectedly mild tone. "Since you don't walk in our circles, you may not be aware. This Council bears no love for Graham. Because he has violated our restrictions one too many times, he was recently stripped of his overlord title and is on a probation that will end in his death if one more violation reaches our ears."

  She unlaced her hands and placed the palms flat on the desk. "If that happens, his servant will be separated from him, if she doesn't wish to follow him into death."

  Cai blinked. "You can do that? Separate a fully marked servant from the vampire?"

  "We have had some limited success, for special situations." Lyssa waved a hand, indicating she wasn't going to be deviated from the topic. "She's not responsible for her Master's crimes. However, she is not the same one who helped your mother, I am certain, for he goes through servants at a distasteful rate. He's a disgrace to our society. But Lord Georg is not. He has been a good overlord before this happened."

  "Before the Ennui got to him?"

  Her expression closed. "You are aware of the condition."

  "I know a few things about your world. It's also affected some Trads."

  "Then you have shown more discretion and kindness than I anticipated from your attitude." She inclined her head. "Georg is an overwrought father and vampire seeking a target for his helpless rage, his fear for his daughter. But I expect you know that, which is why you requested a private audience, isn't it? So you could speak frankly without causing him more distress."

  Rand's gaze slid to Cai, surprised when his face shuttered. Thanks to Cai's explanation of his background, most the ire he'd felt at the vampire's callousness had evaporated. He was still acting like an asshole, but Rand now understood better why. Though, because he could be an asshole, Rand wasn't entirely sure why Cai hadn't wanted him here.

  Did he think finding out he'd been a victim would change--

  Not a fucking victim.

  Jacob started, and even Lyssa stiffened in surprise as Cai erupted from the chair, so violently it thudded to its side. In one step, he was facing off with Rand like he intended to attack. His fists were clenched, eyes like living flame.

  It happened so fast, Rand reacted exactly as a wolf would. Flat ears, curled lip, hackles raised, tail out straight and feet braced. Ready for a fight, knowing he was standing right on the threshold on one. Cai met his gaze in unmistakable challenge, his mouth set in a flat line.

  If that's what you think, then I mean it. Get the fuck out of here and don't you fucking come back.

  He wanted Rand to attack. Rand had pressed the trigger that would let Cai act out, wreak havoc. Anything but having to sit here, talking in this absurdly civilized study about something wild and hellish unearthed from a place deep inside of him he didn't touch.

  Rand had told Cai a shifter was a virtually foolproof lie detector. He hadn't explained that an extension of that was the ability to use animal intuition and human insight together to translate a language just as illuminating. His emotions.

  Slowly, Rand's flattened ears lifted to a pricked-up position, his tail lowering from the pre-battle stiffness. He moved forward, watching the vampire's expression turn confused as Rand stopped next to him. Rand lowered his haunches to the carpet, the rest of him following as he settled into an alert, heads-up but lying-down pose on the carpet. His shoulder was against Cai's leg.

  The vampire was facing away from Lyssa and Jacob, so they didn't see what Rand did, the easing of tension from his features, the bitterly rueful look. Cai closed his eyes, and his fist opened, his fingertips brushing Rand's face as Rand dipped his head to the contact, a dignified acknowledgment.

  You're in my personal space, wolf.

  Have your back. You piss off all.

  It's my superpower.

  Cai's shoulders lifted in a sigh, and Rand watched his face rearrange into a more neutral expression before he turned to face the desk again. "Sorry about that," Cai said politely. "Domestic issue. Where were we?"

  Lyssa studied him. Rand could feel the current of tension through Cai. He wanted to get this done. Really wanted to be out of here.

  Fortunately, Lyssa seemed to understand and didn't linger on the unexpected episode. "So you can lead us to where these Trads are," Lyssa said. "Do you think a single assassin could do an extraction? Or would an armed party have better success?"

  Cai shook his head.

  "I said I could draw you a map. But it won't help, whether you send one or a hundred. They'll hear you coming a mile off, because you don't move in their world. They'll take off with her as soon as they detect you're in the area tracking them. Which they will. If by some miracle, you corner them, they'll kill her just to spite you. Unless she's already conceived, which isn't likely unless some miracle happens that hasn't been pulled off to date. And when they kill her, they'll do it in the ugliest way possible, so her father gets back only a pile of meat, bone and blood."

  As Lyssa's expression tightened, Cai tipped his head toward Rand. "If you want tactful, talk to him. Even when he's in the drool and fur state, he's subtler than I am."

  "No doubt," Lyssa said. "I expect him to curb his drooling. Hard to clean out of the carpets."

  See? Told you about the carpets.

  "Would they trust you, Mordecai?" Lyssa continued. "To infiltrate their ranks and retrieve her, get her to safety and give us time to send you backup for the extraction?"

  He blinked at her. "Don't know, because there's no way in hell I'm doing that."

  She tapped a nail on the desk. "It has been my experience there is always something someone wants, enough to compel them to attempt something unwise or impossible."

  "Both apply to that scenario."

  "I can't compel you to do it," she said. "But I will ask you, is it possible?"

  "No. Not if you're asking an amoral bastard like me to do it. Now, if you had someone who'd lived with the Trads who had his moral sensibilities," he jerked his thumb at Rand, "you might get a needle through that hell-tight sphincter."

  "So if both of you went--"

  "No." Cai's voice went flat with menace, right on the brink of the fury he'd displayed moments earlier. Rand noted Jacob tracking that aggression, but he stayed where he was. From Lyssa's still gaze, her deceptive relaxed state, she had things in hand, even if Cai came over the desk at her, which Rand sincerely hoped didn't happen.

  "If I had an insane inclination to drop in on the colony that has her, he wouldn't be part of that. He's not my full servant, Lady Lyssa. He's second marked, but that was to help him heal from serious injury. He has no commitment to me and I place no bond on him. He's not human, so he's not going to out the damn vampire secrecy code."

  "Indeed." She pursed her attractive lips. "Well, since you have no bond on him, I can ask him directly what his feelings about it are." She turned her gaze to Rand. Cai moved in front of him, just as fast.

  "I said fucking no. You supposedly know a dozen languages. You have trouble understanding that word, bitch?"

  Aw, hell. Rand was glad his wolf expression concealed his inner cringe. Damn it, Cai...

  Lyssa had proven she'd tolerate a certain lack of manners from someone unused to her world. The wave of coldness, all amiability wiped from her expressio
n, said she'd reached her threshold. Cai had just stepped in it.

  But from the set of his shoulders, Rand expected Cai knew that. Fuck, had he done it to protect Rand, just like he'd done before? But whatever the reason, a distraction was needed. Now.

  Going to need those clothes.

  He could shift in a matter of seconds when needed, though fluidity had to be sacrificed to speed. Fortunately, he managed it without it becoming too much of a bone-breaking, skin-splitting horror show.

  Jacob's set expression, reflecting his lady's displeasure with Cai, transformed to fascination, and then a slow smile. It was the reaction shifters appreciated the most, somewhere between a kid realizing dragons did exist and always knowing they had been there, just out of sight. Lyssa, on the other hand...

  Rand guessed he should have anticipated a vampire's reaction would be well-flavored by strong sexual interest. He was alive because of Cai's, after all.

  The vampire queen's appraisal started at the feet and went up with lingering thoroughness. When she reached Rand's face, he thought he might be blushing.

  "If all shifters looked like you, Rand, I expect vampires would have dug them out of the mountains long ago."

  Cai was looking between them like he wasn't sure if he needed to fight the vampire queen or smack Rand in the head. Putting his hand on Cai's shoulder to hopefully prevent either option, Rand executed a short bow.

  "My lady," he said courteously, "Cai was trying to protect me. I expect you have those in your life you'd take similar, inadvisable steps to shield."

  Lyssa blinked. "It has been said."

  As Jacob coughed over a chuckle, she sent him an admonishing look.

  "My servant has clothes up in the room," Cai said shortly. Fancy words work better if your junk isn't hanging out there, being a distraction.

  Without distraction, you'd probably be a greasy spot on the carpet.

  She likes me. I can tell.

  Lyssa glanced at Jacob. "Send Giles to retrieve Rand's clothes. He need not be too hasty about it."

  It was Jacob's turn to give her a narrow look, but he crossed the room and stepped to the door. He kept it cracked so the house servant couldn't peer within. While his voice stayed low, Rand detected the last words. "Make haste."

  The glint in Lyssa's eyes became like that of a faceted jewel. Jacob returned to her side only a couple moments later, clothes in hand. She gave him an openly amused look. "I was unaware Giles was an Olympic sprinter."

  Jacob offered an ambivalent grunt.

  As Rand took the clothes and stepped aside to pull them on, she turned her attention back to Cai. "Your convictions need not be brayed like a mule to be truth. I've lived long enough to experience loss, betrayal, and know how terribly unfair life can be. It can also be glorious, when the essential elements needed as a balm to those feelings are discovered. I hope your tongue allows you long enough to find them."

  She switched back to the original topic, ignoring Cai's bemused reaction. "Are you still accepted as one of them?" Lyssa asked.

  "I said I won't--"

  "Indulge me in a hypothetical. Are you still accepted as one of them?"

  Cai scowled. "Probably. Yes. No. Maybe. The one who leads them now is the vampire who stole me when I was a kid. Goddard."

  He should just stop talking, but he'd promised honesty. It was no big deal. Cai could say it out loud. It didn't mean anything and he'd be out of here soon.

  But saying the male's name was harder than it should be. He wanted to spit it out a few more times, just to prove it had no hold on him, maybe scream it and add a few expletives to embellish it...but that might make him seem a bit unhinged. Right? More than he'd already proven he was.

  He could feel Rand's gaze on him. He's alive, why?

  Cai appreciated the male's wave of homicidal support. Just as he'd appreciated his reaction of a few moments ago when he'd lost it like a fledgling. It should have made Cai even more unsettled, but the wolf sitting down next to him, leaning against his leg had been...calming. Fuck.

  Rand had donned the jeans and shirt. Rand and Torrence were almost an exact match in size and breadth, though Rand had a slightly narrower ass. Or Torrence preferred to wear his jeans looser. Cai was guessing servant preferences didn't usually dictate their clothing choices; their Master or Mistress did. Helga would want her servant's ass to be as nicely defined as possible in his clothes, so Rand's muscular butt being narrower was likely the correct conclusion.

  "You have a sorcerer who could find me among millions of square miles of parkland," Cai reminded the vampire queen. "Why don't you just have him poof her out of there?"

  "Unfortunately, there are strict limits to how he may help us, and we have reached those." She lifted a shoulder and frowned. "Particularly since Greenwald's retrieval team used his help inappropriately. But we have a support member of this Council, Lord Brian, who is our scientific research director. He is on his way here and has said he has additional resources for any rescue attempt we are framing."

  Cai set his jaw. "And I'm the picture you want to put in that frame. Doesn't matter what ideas he has, we're still talking slim-to-none chances."

  "True. But according to your information, our slim window of chance rests on having someone who can get in there without raising alarm. That person would have the resources we could provide. And our gratitude. Which, in our world, goes a very long way. You may not want us to give you anything, Cai, but how very pleasing would it be for us to owe you?"

  Before he could formulate a response to that, Lyssa cocked her head.

  "Why do you have one steel fang?"

  Cai blinked at the sudden change of topic. "Because Trads are elitist assholes," he said flatly. "A vampire made from one of their captured humans is considered inferior. Citizens of their fucked-up world, yes, but second-class ones."

  Cai bared his fangs and pointed to the steel one. "They break one off and dig it out from the root, then cauterize it with your blood so it won't grow back. The 'one fang' designation says you were made within the Trad clan, but you're not a pure vampire. You were once one of their slaves."

  He could feel Rand's gaze on him again. Not that it had ever left, but sometimes it felt as if the guy was staring inside his head. The second mark wasn't an open two-way street, but with Rand, it felt like it was. Cai really should have done a better job of pissing him off so the shifter would have stayed out of this pointless meeting.

  "On the other hand, for all their faults, Trads are pretty self-sufficient." Cai swept his gaze over the room. "Those made vampires I talked about? I'm betting most leave within a short time, because they're not prepared for the rustic realities of Trad life, the lack of comforts. A true Trad wouldn't be caught dead here."

  Lyssa watched him another unsettling moment. "You're an interesting mix, Cai. So full of hate for both sides, but you will favor one over the other when it suits your purpose to sneer at the one before you."

  Cai shrugged. "I'm an asshole. It's the best thing I know to be."

  "Hmm. I think that suit of armor has been purposefully dinged and tarnished. I don't think you want that young female to be harmed, or to die."

  "I don't want a lot of things," Cai said harshly. "But my wants have never meant a damn to anyone but me. So can we get this over with? Go ahead and torture me under the illusion that it will get me to agree to a suicide mission, or kill me."

  "Neither at the moment, I think." She ran a fingertip over the surface of the desk, back and forth, a meditative gesture. "I wish to give this matter some thought and talk to the rest of the delegation. Georg exceeded his authority in how he brought you here, but don't leave until I grant you permission. We may need further information from you. If you exercise patience, you'll be released without further harm. You have my word."

  "Patience isn't my strong suit. Nor trust."

  "I wouldn't have guessed." That faint smile again. Her gaze slid to Rand. "I've told no one but the Council delegation what Rand is, and it wo
n't leave that circle at this time. It's your decision whether to expose his human side to anyone else here."

  Rand nodded, a courteous albeit cautious appreciation. Cai was less impressed. He lifted a brow.

  "That a threat? I behave or else you'll tell everyone shifters exist?"

  Lyssa blinked. "You told me very specifically what your terms were for this audience, and chastised me for believing you were angling yourself for greater spoils. I believe you can take my response at similar face value."

  Well, he hadn't expected that. Expected to believe her, that is. Unsettled, Cai looked toward Rand. Up to you. You can shift back to wolf before we leave the room. Or, since the only ones we have to fool are Greenwald and his staff, we can build on what Giles has likely already spread around. That you're my servant, and you just arrived. I'll tell anyone who asks that the wolf is out hunting in the forest.

  Rand accepted that with an interesting push of agreement that was wordless, much as he'd communicate it in wolf form. Cai managed an awkward half-bow to Lyssa that made him feel like an idiot, but she inclined her head. Probably laughing her ass off behind that neutral expression. Or maybe not. What had been discussed these past few minutes, and what had brought Cai here, weren't really laughing matters.

  When he left the room, Rand stayed close enough on his heels Cai felt the heat of his presence. Yet he didn't draw a deep breath until he heard the double doors close behind them. Even then, it felt as if something was constricting his chest. Holding him back, holding him tied to the words in that room.

  Goddamn it.

  Jacob crossed his arms as he watched the two depart. Rand had followed Cai, but paused at the door, looking back at Lyssa with a hard-to-read expression on his face. Then he left.

  A shifter. I wish Kane could have seen that.

  Yes. Lyssa offered an absent smile as he referred to their son. She meant it, but Jacob knew a lot of far more troubling things were turning over in her head.

  To ensure their privacy, Jacob continued to speak in his Mistress's mind. You won't convince him, my lady. His mind and heart are set. The trauma they did to him runs deep. You're asking a man not just to confront his nightmares, but wade into them up to his neck and risk drowning.

  She lifted a shoulder and turned the desk chair to face him. If there's any chance of convincing him, it won't be me who does it. It will be his wolf.