Vampire's Soul, Page 20

  Three swallows of blood, and the whole world changed.

  Chapter Nine

  Cai had seemed so matter-of-fact about it. Because of that, Rand hadn't expected anything much different from the second mark. This was...

  He'd gone rigid in Cai's arms, no matter that his cock was still throbbing with impending climax, and having Cai deep in his ass was a burning pleasure. This overruled that. It was as if his cells were being remade, every one of them bound to a matching one with the male flush against his back, bearing him down against the mattress.

  The second mark had put Cai's thoughts in his mind, an adjustment to mental privacy, but wolf communication was as much intuition and body language as it was speaking, so it hadn't been a big leap. This was way beyond that.

  Rand could actually feel the vampire descending through all the levels of his mind, deeper, even deeper, penetrating everything. Beyond the mind, and way into the heart and soul. He was walking straight into those rooms, able to throw any door open without Rand's say-so. He'd told Cai that being fucked as a wolf would be like invading a sanctuary? This nowhere-to-hide, child-like but undeniable fear, caused the type of panic Rand didn't experience too often.

  Cai's arm had tightened around him, making it worse. Rand withdrew on every level. Or tried. He was thrashing. "Let me go...can't breathe."

  Cai fortunately listened, pulling out and moving back, giving Rand room to scramble free of the bed. He was disoriented, having trouble making sense of anything. His mind was split in two. Nothing sacred or private any more. He was like a cut open fish, still flopping on a bank, in agony. He hit something, maybe a side table, sent it crashing, and knocked over something else that shattered. A vague burning, like glass cutting into his feet. He didn't care. He was trying to escape, and he knew one sure way to do that.

  No, Rand, don't...

  He shifted, but the disarray of his mind made it one of the worst shifts of his life, as if his bones were being broken and remade. A cry became a howl of agony and he was writhing, thrashing on the floor, caught between human and wolf. Fuck, it was a Split, increasing his terror. It happened sometimes, to wolves caught up in a trauma where they were unable to keep their wits about them. It could become permanent.

  Permanent and fatal, because there was no way to exist with a foot physically in each plane.

  Help...

  "Rand, I'm here. Calm down. Breathe. You're not stuck, goddamn it. You're just worked up. Just breathe." Cai scrambled to his side, his own mind in chaos, still trying to manage all the images and connections with the shifter, while simultaneously trying to figure out what had gone wrong. Well, to do that, he'd need to know what the fuck he was doing, right? And obviously, he hadn't. Some of this stuff, like opening and closing his mind to the shifter to communicate, had been easy as falling asleep, no instructions needed, making him believe the vampire-servant thing was ninety-nine percent common sense and instinct. But this...

  Oh, God, the shifter was...he was part man, part animal, a macabre, monstrous mess of human and wolf body parts writhing on the floor. Fuck, what could he do? Cai didn't know who he could trust here, and he'd...what the hell had he been thinking?

  He whirled at a knock, but the one knocking didn't bother to wait before he entered. It was Jacob, Lady Lyssa's servant. He took in the scene at a glance and came swiftly across the room, though was sensible enough to stop a few feet back when Rand threw his head back and snarled. Rand's mind was being swallowed by his wolf, the human part still caught up in the marking change, trying to sort it out.

  "How can I help?" Jacob asked. He wasn't deferential the way most servants Cai had met were, but he was honest and direct, which Cai appreciated. Rand didn't have time for him to weigh trust pros and cons.

  "I'm not sure. I was third marking him. Least, I think I was. I've never done it before, and I don't know much about human servants, making them, having them..." Cai broke off at Jacob's startled look. "I never witnessed...I was just told the basics. Take blood, release serum, give blood. He's a shifter, I don't know... There was something in his mind about Splitting, this in-between state. He's frightened. I don't know how to help."

  "Okay." Jacob moved to the upended side table, found the house phone where it had fallen behind the bed, and picked it up, punching in a number. "Debra, Jacob here. Are you in? Just landed? Good. We've got an emergency. Not sure what we'll be needing, but Brian's probably the best bet to figure it out."

  He gave the unseen woman details based on some of what Cai had told him, and added info that Cai hadn't. "Think it might have been an unprepped third marking. Going to have my lady come help talk him through it, but it'd be good to have you as backup in case I'm wrong." He paused. "Tell Brian not to wet himself, but the servant is a wolf shifter. Yeah, they really exist. We're keeping that knowledge classified."

  At a later time, Cai would be impressed by how calm the servant remained, with a thrashing half-man, half-wolf on the floor in obvious distress. But Cai was going to lose his fucking mind if someone didn't do something. Now.

  Jacob hung up and returned to Cai's side. "My lady's on her way."

  "What? I..." Cai had shot his mouth off to her earlier. That was different, when he'd been making a point driven by his emotions and what-the-fuck attitude toward almost everything. In a heartbeat, he positioned himself over Rand. The mutated male was tearing Cai's heart out. He'd subsided into a painful whimpering, eyes glassy. He had three wolf legs and one human one, and the jerking of human and animal limbs in a mindless mimic of attempted flight was killing Cai. He'd done this.

  "If she's coming here to take a stripe off my ass or do something terrible to him, she'll have to take me apart piece by piece to do it."

  "I believe something terrible was already done to him," Lyssa said coolly, stepping inside the door and closing it behind her. "By an inexperienced vampire who should have asked questions rather than hiding behind his ego and pride."

  Cai swallowed, his fists half clenched. Jacob straightened, his expression saying he was about to warn Cai to stand down, but Lyssa took care of that herself. She crossed the room, wearing a hunter green dress that flowed over her curves and moved with the same rippling appeal as her dark hair, loose on her shoulders. Unbound, it reached her waist. She was barefoot and dropped to her heels next to Rand, so close to Cai her shoulder pressed against his knee. He noticed Jacob shift closer, a protective gesture. He wanted Cai to move back, but Cai wasn't doing it. Yeah, he'd fucked this up, but that didn't mean he'd abandon Rand.

  "Your shifter is not going to come to harm from me," Lyssa said. "Put your hand where mine is."

  She laid it on Rand's chest, a curious patchwork of wolf fur and human chest hair. The ribs on the right side were spread in a strange, unsettling way, as if about to split from the skin. He understood why Rand's mind was a red haze of spiraling chaos and pain. His was in danger of going the same way if he couldn't fucking help him. Lyssa's calmness helped, he couldn't deny it, but the tightness around her mouth, and close way she was studying what was happening to Rand, didn't assure a good outcome.

  "A third marking is different from a second marking," she said in that mesmerizing voice, drawing Cai's gaze to her face, though his hand remained over Rand's rapidly beating heart. "It is more than releasing the serum and the two of you exchanging blood. The first third marking for a young vampire like yourself is often mentored and guided by an older vampire, when necessary. I expect you dismissed the soul connection as spiritual nonsense."

  "Save the lecture for later. Fix him, help him."

  "It's not a lecture," she said in reproof. "Only his Master, the one who marked him, can fix him. You. So listen, if you truly care for his welfare. Because if you can't, you will have to end his suffering by taking his life."

  Cai's startled glance shot to her. Her face was stern, uncompromising, but not without compassion. The last surprised him, as did the gentleness of her touch when she gripped his other hand and moved it to Rand's abdo
men, so one palm was on his chest, one there. Then she moved behind Cai, laying one hand over his heart, behind his shoulder blade, the other to his lower back.

  "Close your eyes. Don't look at his outer form. Look inside. Breathe with me. Slow. We need to slow it all down, detach from his physical suffering so you can reach past it, end it. You've been in his mind as a second mark. Go there first. Go where it's familiar. A third marking is a soul-to-soul binding, Cai. Heart to heart. You can be everywhere inside him, to the deepest, darkest, most hidden areas of his soul, the uncharted pathways of his heart, and anywhere in his mind. You essentially become total Master of this soul, responsible for its care and existence, even as it becomes your bound servant through eternity."

  "I didn't...I didn't realize it was all that."

  "No. And now you regret, and wish you could take it back, because that type of commitment scares you."

  "I also didn't warn him. He didn't know."

  "Which is also a big part of the problem. First things first. Focus. As you relax and focus, you'll be able to see those pathways inside him. You'll see where your marking has rushed in like floodwater, taking up too much room. Too much, too fast. Too deep. Drowning him. Imagine instead your binding with him is a mist like fog, light as air. Draw back slowly, give him room to be Rand, to find himself and all the things he knows about himself. No, do not withdraw all the way or too fast. Get past your guilt and fear."

  Her tone was a gentle reproach, but effective. Cai wondered how the hell she was sensing all this through her palms. She had no access into his mind, but it was as if she did.

  "You're his Master. You must help him. He must know you're there, that you're linked and bound, yes, but he isn't imprisoned. There's no need for him to be hurt and afraid. You are there, and you will care for him. Help him make sense of this. Speak to him in his mind, because you are his lifeline back."

  He doubted her at first, but as he followed her direction, breathed, focused, Cai was startled to see exactly what she described. Pathways opened, winding, twisting together, forming amazing tapestries made up of life threads that ran from the core of Rand's soul, connected intimately to his heart. Then, his mind, a control center for it all, thrown into chaos like an engine with a wrench in it. Cai could pull out that wrench. He identified his own presence, a shifting energy that he started to reel in, how the fuck he didn't know, but suddenly he did, even if he couldn't describe it.

  Rand made a noise somewhere between a growl and a question, and Cai pressed his palms harder against his chest and stomach, firm reassurance. I'm here. He remembered the wolf's words as he came out of his nightmare and rephrased them. I'm your vampire, and it's all right. Just relax. Become man or wolf, whichever is easiest. You have the space. You know how. I just knocked you off your axis because I didn't know what the hell I was doing and wrecked the car, turned us upside down.

  "Just back away from the wreckage and settle down. You've done it a million times. Go forward or back. Just don't stay like this, because they'll sell you to a freak show to pay for the damage we did in here."

  He wasn't sure if the humor would help but hell, it helped settle his nerves, so he threw it in. Cai realized he'd said it aloud when he felt Lyssa's fingers flex against his back. He wasn't sure what she was doing, but a cool, steady energy flowed through him from her contact. It had an unnervingly calming effect.

  He felt the shift grind back to life again, though he winced as the initial jolt of it pulled a sound of pain from Rand's lips. Cai held onto him, talked to him, watched the human leg give way and disappear before the introduction of the fourth and final wolf leg. His torso twisted, rocked, and that amazing melting effect happened, things blurring. Suddenly, the human was gone.

  As Rand finished the full transition to wolf, Cai let out a relieved breath so strong it rocked him on his heels. The wolf lay there, panting, and he was stroking his fur. "It's all right. We'll figure it out." I'm sorry, Rand. I fucked up bad. I get it if you want out of this gig. I won't hold you to it.

  In answer, two gold eyes focused on him, telling Cai that Rand was deep inside the animal, beyond the reach of his humanity, unless Cai wanted to push it. He didn't need Lyssa to tell him how bad an idea that would be. The wolf staggered to his feet and swayed. Cai stood up and moved back, Lady Lyssa at his side. Jacob was on the other side of the wolf, a faint frown creasing his brow as he watched Rand, all of them waiting to see what the wolf would do.

  The large black head lifted and Rand's eyes swung back to Cai again, taking the measure of them all. With a quick snap of teeth and flattened ears, the wolf sprang. But not toward them. He went for the door and was gone, the sound of his toenails hitting the stairs reaching them briefly before there was nothing.

  "I'll make sure he gets out," Jacob said, heading toward the door. He glanced over his shoulder at Cai. "If that's the best thing?"

  "Yeah. Letting him out is the best thing." Cai pushed away the sudden heaviness inside him. It was like a gift had been handed back to him, weighing ten times more than it had when he gifted it.

  Turning to Lyssa, he hesitated but sketched an awkward bow. Another first for him. "Thank you, Lady Lyssa."

  In answer, she moved to a guest chair that hadn't been upended by the mayhem and gestured imperiously to another. "Sit, and tell me how much you know of having a human servant. The truth this time. Caginess has its place, but hiding your ignorance about this provides you no advantage, Mordecai. Obviously."

  He couldn't even bristle at the rebuke. "Doesn't really matter. That was probably my first and last experience. If he has any sense, he's running his ass off toward the nearest forest." It would have been nice to say good-bye face-to-face, but Cai guessed he could do it mind-to-mind. And receive a big Fuck-You silence in return.

  "Servants, when they are meant to be ours, can surprise you. I think it's best you be prepared. Even if he doesn't return, you have third marked him, Cai. His life is forever linked to yours now. You will know when he is afraid, hurting...dying." She folded her hands in her lap and crossed her legs, regal in the velvet dress even with her bare feet. Her toenails were painted the same hunter green. She wore no jewelry.

  Jacob returned. "He's out. He headed straight for the woods." The servant's gaze shifted to Lyssa, a curious look passing between them. She nodded.

  "I will find him if necessary," she said.

  "He'll stay out of sight," Cai assured her. The idea of Lady Lyssa traipsing through the woods wolf-hunting was something he couldn't imagine, though he didn't doubt she would do it. "The wolf's cautious about being seen by humans. He won't cause you any problems."

  "No, I don't expect he will. You, on the other hand, interrupted my usual wake-up ritual." She glanced down pointedly at her feet.

  "Well, you have a really nice pedicure. You should show that off." Cai bit his tongue and put his head in his hands, his elbows propped on his knees. He sighed. "Being a wiseass is just what I am, my lady. Not going to fucking apologize for it every second. But fuck, I didn't mean to screw him up like this."

  He straightened. "I don't know a lot about servants. Trads don't keep humans as servants, except as breeding stock. And he's not fully human, so I don't even know how much of any of it applies. But hell, what you just did worked pretty well."

  "I am glad for that. Because of his different physiology, I had no idea if it would."

  He looked at her, surprised. "You acted like you knew exactly what you were doing."

  She smiled, though her gaze remained serious. "Calm assurance was what you both needed. I provided it to you, so you could provide it to him."

  "Damn. You are one unflappable bitch. Lady. Queen." He closed his eyes. "Sorry. Again."

  "Perhaps it's best if you listen and I talk. Your chances of survival will increase exponentially."

  "Like I haven't heard that before." But he did his best to look respectful and attentive. As well as tamp down an unsettlingly strong desire to take off and find Rand, make sure he was
okay. He was, he knew it. He just needed space.

  "Rand seems to have many of the best qualities, human and wolf, that contribute to being an excellent servant," she observed.

  "I'm not so sure of that. He's an alpha," Cai said. "I mean that literally, in the wolf sense."

  "How delightful. An alpha male servant is a gift to be prized, Mordecai. Even when their will poses some difficult challenges." Her eyes warmed on Jacob, before her attention came back to Cai. "I wish you well on the exploration of it."

  Cai stared down at his hands, loose on his knees, his planted feet below. "Is there anything else, like this marking, that I should know about?"

  When his head lifted, her cool eyes had warmed. "That's a far better track to follow than self-flagellation. And the answer is yes. Navigating that soul-link without pushing too hard upon it, is important to protecting his well-being and strengthening the connection between you. I'll give you the information you need to avoid causing your beautiful wolf further, unintended distress." Her eyes gleamed. "Because it goes far better for you both, when punishments and pain are planned."

  After a thorough and eye-opening introduction to the vampire-servant relationship, Cai's brain was almost as overloaded as it had been when he'd so rashly inflicted the third mark upon Rand. Lord Brian had arrived at the tail end of the conversation, announced by one of the house maids via phone. Jacob had thanked her, told her to take Brian and his servant to a guest room and get them what they needed to settle in, as there was no longer an emergency requiring Brian's immediate presence.

  "No, the wolf's not here right now," Jacob said, in answer to a question Brian had apparently posed. "Don't worry; he'll be back."

  "Lord Brian is likely disappointed he can't rush right down to see your wolf," Lyssa said with amusement. "He's not our typical vampire. His energy and passion are devoted to science, particularly issues related to vampire kind. Fertility, vampire-servant bonds, and Ennui."