Beautiful Pain, Page 2

  Sophia was lucky that her parents were wealthy. Her father was a solicitor. He established his own firm years ago. He also travelled to Libya often, but Sophia never knew what kind of business he was involved with. Her mother had her own designer company. Two years ago she pushed her to go with her to Paris and Milan for summer then the year after her father forced her to work with him. This year Sophia wasn’t going to be manipulated like that. She wanted to get away from London, away from her parents.

  Sophia never wanted to be like her parents. She wanted to have a normal life, do whatever she wanted and be friends with whomever she wanted to be. They tried to control everything about her life. She fought back, but it was hard after her mother found her in her room. Since that day her life was never the same.

  After she was done with the packing she took her mobile. She was going to tell her other cousin about her plans, but she put her phone away after a moment. She knew exactly what her cousin would say.

  “Are you mad? Your mother will come after you. They will never let you get away from London alone.”

  Ramona was the only person who could understand Sophia’s dilemma. She didn’t have any other friends; even in University she was always alone. In the end she didn’t call Ramona, afraid that she would convince her not to go. She finished packing and was waiting for her mother to barge in to her room, but by midnight no one came. Maybe her parents decided that she was ready to be away from them. Ready to take control of her life.

  Chapter Two

  Sophia was petrified when she landed at Belfast International Airport. Her pulse increased and her palms were damp with sweat. The familiar feeling of apprehension flooded through her body and she instantly closed her eyes to push away those emotions that made her want to do things that she wasn’t proud off. She was on foreign soil but this didn’t mean that she was going to break into pieces. She just had to get the taxi to the city. Her old friend was catching up on her sleep after a long shift in the bar so she couldn’t rely on her.

  After she reclaimed her luggage, she pushed her trolley towards the entrance. For the first time since she was sixteen her parents didn’t fight to keep her close to them. She had to get used to the fact that no one was going to tell her what to do. She tossed her blonde hair, which was a complete mess today, and stepped outside. Grey, heavy clouds covered the sky and the air felt different, or maybe she was just imagining things. The anxiety was finally gone and when she found a taxi, she relaxed a little. Soon she was heading towards the city. She stared at beautiful green landscape, admiring the hills and the countryside, feeling that she was going to have fun this summer.

  She was going to stay with Vanessa, a girl she knew from school. She remembered that period of her life well enough, it was when she was still in control. She and Vanessa were always close until Vanessa had to move away to Ireland with her mother. She never gained any other best friend like her. With time she got closer to her cousin Ramona, but their relationship wasn’t the same. Sophia kept in touch with Vanessa as much as she could, but Vanessa had no idea that Sophia’s life wasn’t as colourful as she was making it out to be. Keeping secrets was Sophia’s second nature.

  “Okay, young lady, here we are,” said the taxi driver with a thick Irish accent, smiling. “That will be forty-four Euros.”

  “Thank you,” replied Sophia, passing him the money. He helped her with the luggage and left her in front of a tall block of apartments in the centre of Belfast. She was far away from London, which now seemed much louder and bigger.

  Vanessa studied French at Queen’s University, and similar to Sophia she was in her second year. Her mother moved to the country and married a local Irishman, and they didn’t see each other much because Vanessa didn’t get on well with her mother’s new husband. Throughout the year, Vanessa worked part-time in the bar, but when the summer came she needed more money so she increased her hours. Sophia was happy with this arrangement. She didn’t want Vanessa to be obliged to look after her.

  She dragged her luggage through the stairs and checked her mobile. She buzzed apartment number thirty-two, biting her lip with anticipation.

  “Hallo,” said the sleepy voice on the other end.

  “Vanessa, it’s me, Sophia,” she said with excitement.

  “Oh my God you are here, come on in,” squeaked her friend, and she buzzed the door open for her. Sophia took the lift and when she got upstairs her friend was already waiting for her wearing red pyjamas.

  “Good to see you, it’s been ages,” said Vanessa, hugging Sophia tightly.

  “Two years actually.” Sophia beamed when she finally released her. Her friend looked tired but in good spirits.

  “Shut up, I can’t believe that I haven’t been in London for that long!”

  “Yes, we haven’t seen each other for a while,” chuckled Sophia. Vanessa was a shorter girl with dirty blonde hair. She was twenty-three, had a petit figure with large green bright eyes and a long nose. Ever since Sophia could remember, Vanessa had always been saying how much she hated London, so when Vanessa’s mother decided to move to Ireland she didn’t have to think about this decision twice.

  “You look amazing! Is this really a Gucci bag?” asked Vanessa, her eyes wide with amazement, eyeing her friend’s designer bag.

  “Oh I hate this bag; you can have it if you want. My mother bought it for me in Milan, but it’s not my style,” replied Sophia, and handed it to Vanessa.

  “Are you kidding me? This probably cost a fortune. I can’t accept that.”

  “I have enough labelled stuff. Plus, I want to feel normal for once, which means that I have to trade all my clothes, so just shut up and take it,” said Sophia firmly.

  “You are crazy,” exclaimed Vanessa, still staring at the bag. “Let’s get you inside before the neighbours start talking. Besides, I just woke up. I had a mad shift last night so the apartment is in a mess.”

  Vanessa helped Sophia with her luggage. Inside the space was kept in minimalistic décor. The kitchen was small, but it had everything that the girls needed. The living room had two large sofas, a big TV, and a balcony. The apartment overlooked another building so Sophia wasn’t impressed with the view, although she wasn’t going to complain. Vanessa was right, the apartment was a mess. There was a pizza box lying on the floor, cans of beer and piles of clothes were everywhere. Sophia remembered that Vanessa was always really untidy.

  “Let me show you your room,” Vanessa said quickly, scratching her head and looking slightly embarrassed. Sophia’s room was a decent size with a double bed and fitted wardrobes. “Nicole left a lot of her stuff, but I am sure that you will be fine.”

  “It’s perfect,” sighed Sophia, placing her bags by the bed.

  “Oh my God, I am so excited that you are here. I thought that I would have a crappy summer working all the time, but now whenever I am free we are going to get drunk.”

  “I will be out most of the time working as well, so you are not the only one.”

  “I guess that’s true, but we still need to find time to enjoy ourselves,” said Vanessa. “Are you hungry? I’ve got a cold pizza and Budweiser.”

  “Sounds good.”

  The girls went back to the living room and Sophia offered to clean a little. She wasn’t tired although she’d had an early start. She was excited about being in Belfast. Vanessa promised to show her everything. Just before Vanessa was due to start her shift Sophia made spaghetti bolognese.

  “So tell me, have you left a boyfriend behind?” asked Vanessa, smiling. Sophia tensed her back, looking down at her dish.

  “No, no boyfriend. I am still single,” she replied dryly. She couldn’t tell Vanessa how lame her life really was. She didn’t have any friends in London, because of her parents. After the therapy, she lost contact with everyone. She had a boyfriend when she was sixteen but that didn’t last long. All her previous relationships with men were difficult, and Sophia wasn’t ready to tell anyone about her complicated past.

 
“I am sure that we can soon change that, one night out with me and you will be lost in the arms of some hot Irishman,” Vanessa giggled playing with her food. Sophia smiled lightly. She couldn’t think about the romance right now, she was here to gain experience.

  “I can’t deal with men right now, I am an emotional wreck! I am sure that no one would be interested in someone like me.”

  “Are you mental?” snarled her friend. “You are hot, have amazing hair, and a body to die for. Guys will be fighting to go out with you.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “You got the look, baby, and boys here like girls like you,” sang Vanessa.

  Sophia smiled again, dismissing her friend’s comments. She wanted to help people, that’s why she came to Belfast. When she was supporting others she felt better and her confidence grew. This way she dealt with her own fears. Guiding someone else’s life allowed her to have control over her own.

  “I am really not interested in dating, but I will go out with you. I need to put my head down and chill out,” said Sophia rolling her spaghetti on her fork.

  “That ain’t going to happen, my dear, you have exotic beauty. I am just warning you now so you know.”

  Sophia didn’t know how to tell Vanessa that she wasn’t ready to get involved in a serious relationship or even a holiday fling. So instead she changed the subject. Her plans didn’t involve dating anyone. She just thought that it would be a waste of time. She had to get back to University in September and her past always haunted her, so men kept away.

  Vanessa had to go to work for seven o’clock and Sophia was happy to stay in the apartment. When she was alone she dialed Ramona’s number.

  “What’s up, sugar plum?”

  Michelle hated Ramona, once she had called her a control freak. This didn’t go down too well with the rest of family.

  “You won’t believe me if I tell you where I am right now.” Sophia chuckled, sitting comfortably on the sofa.

  “You are speaking to me in the toilet whilst your pathetic mother is listening.”

  Sophia rolled her eyes.

  “You know when I told you about my idea of working somewhere away for the summer?”

  “Yes, and we both know that your parents won’t let you go.”

  “Well, I am in Belfast right now; I flew here yesterday after I told my parents all about it. That agency in London found me this amazing contract for three months!”

  There was long silence on the other side of the phone.

  “You’ve got to be shitting me? You are in Ireland right now?”

  “Yes, can you believe it? I sorted out my paperwork, bought a cheap ticket, and I won’t be back until September. Mum and Dad freaked out a little, but they didn’t stop me.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you cow? I would have dropped you at the airport,” sighed Ramona. “Are you sure that your crazy mother is fine with that? Maybe in a day or two you will be kidnapped on the street and they will transport you back to London.”

  “Dad wanted me to start working in his firm next week. I’d had enough and I just decided to do it. I am twenty-two and the therapy is behind me. I am fed up living my parents’ life.”

  “Good for you my sugar plum. Just make sure you lose your virginity this summer. I want you to have fun and find yourself a nice Irishman who will take away all that fear!” said Ramona. She always talked about how pathetic Sophia’s sex life has been; a year in the hospital hadn’t given Sophia any more confidence.

  “You know that is not going to happen, Ram. I am going to work with prison leavers and I won’t have time for anything else.”

  “Well that’s even better. I am sure there will be a few to choose from.”

  “Can you hear how ridiculous this sounds? I need to get going,” Sophia said, slowly losing her confidence.

  “Hold on, where are you staying? I am going to visit you in August and then we will go for a night out.”

  “I am staying with an old friend, Vanessa. I told you about her. It will be good if you would come,” said Sophia.

  “I want to meet the famous Vanessa. Come on, put her on so I can talk to her ...”

  “She is working. Besides, you are still my true friend, so don’t worry.”

  “Just keep a week in August reserved for me, and keep your head up. Call me if you’ve got any news, all right, mon chere.”

  “Yes, I will. I love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  Sophia hung up and put away her mobile. She was alone in Belfast far away from her parents and anyone else that knew the truth about her. She told herself that she was going to make the most of this summer.

  Chapter Three

  Sophia woke up on Monday morning already feeling nervous. Yesterday Vanessa had decided that she wanted to show Sophia the best attractions Belfast had to offer, so they had a busy day. When they finally got home in the evening Sophia was exhausted. Vanessa really wanted to take Sophia out to her favourite club, but Sophia refused. She was starting a new job the next day and she wanted to make a good impression.

  She lay in her bed thinking about the day ahead of her. She heard Vanessa snoring in the other room and got up to take a shower. Her long, bushy hair was untidy, so she pulled it up together in a ponytail, but she still looked like she had been hit by a thunder storm. She applied a little makeup, and decided to wear black trousers with a navy jumper. She just wanted to look ordinary and thought that plain clothing would do the trick. Sophia had looked at the map last night and she had a rough idea where to go.

  She left the apartment just after eight o’clock. Her shift wasn’t starting until nine, but she wanted to be sure that she was on time. It turned out that her new office was only a ten minute walk from Vanessa’s apartment. Sophia was surprised to see that the Probation Office was just off the busy street. She entered through the solid doors, and the older security guard got up when he saw her.

  “I am here to see Susan O’Brien,” she said, smiling.

  “Just take a seat in the waiting area and I will call her,” he replied, pointing at the large room. She was excited being there, ready to face the challenge. The room was filled with chairs; on the boards there were various announcements and posters with job adverts, information about accommodation and benefits. No more than ten minutes later a short woman in her mid-thirties walked in smiling widely. She was slightly overweight with a plump oval face filled with freckles. Her hair was pure red, falling flawlessly on her face.

  “You must be Sophia Eman?”

  “Yes, that’s me,” replied Sophia quickly, and the woman shook her hand.

  “I am Susan O’Brien. I will be looking after you. My supervisor was supposed to greet you with me, but he is running late because of the traffic. So I apologize, but you are stuck with me for now.” She chuckled.

  “It’s nice to meet you. I am really excited to get started,” beamed Sophia.

  “Let me introduce you to the other members of the team. We are short staffed and everyone is glad that you are finally here. You will have only a few offenders on your caseload to start with and everyone is helpful so you don’t have to worry,” explained Susan.

  They stopped to sign in the book just to be sure that Sophia wasn’t going to be missed in case of a fire. After that Susan took her to the first floor. She entered the spacious warm office.

  “Mary Ann, this is Sophia, she is covering Elizabeth,” said Susan to the tall woman who smiled. She looked busy, talking over the telephone. They turned right, passing through a long corridor. The next room was wide and filled with a small workplace for each officer, Sophia counted to around twelve. Various faces were smiling at her. Sophia instantly had a good feeling about this place.

  Susan started to show her around and introduce her to other members of staff. For now she was only a temporary worker. She was only going to be here until September so she wasn’t expecting to be treated as a long standing member of the team. Overall the people who worked in the office seemed
friendly.

  For the next two hours Sophia had to fill out a lot of forms and go through induction, risk assessment, and some of the important policies. After that Susan took her back to the main room.

  “This is going to be your desk for now. Later on you will sit with me on a few reviews so you will get the gist of things,” said Susan. Sophia’s office was situated by an older woman in her late forties. As far as Sophia remembered, her name was Debra.

  “Sounds good.”

  “I will be back in a moment. All the offenders will start coming in an hour or so, so we have a bit of time to prepare you for everything. You mentioned that you are doing your diploma in Probation Practice?”

  “Yes, I started it a few months ago, that’s why I thought it would be good to get a short contract to gain some experience. I worked with Probation Service last year, but it was only two days a week.”