The Legend of Jane, Page 2

  “Yes, Officer,” she said in a sweet voice. “Can I have my camera back?” Maybe if she was nice to him, he’d let Emily film some action shots of Luanne leaving the jail cell. She could supplement what footage she had with a few well-staged clips.

  “You can have it back once you leave.”

  Luanne sighed. So much for that.

  Five minutes later, they had left the police station and were heading back to Emily’s house. Luanne clutched the ticket in one hand, her camera in the other. “My car’s still on the side of the road, Em.”

  “I gave Officer Sharp your spare key. He’s going to pick it up and drop it off for you later today. I’m guessing he doesn’t want you hanging around Mr. Tatum’s farm again.”

  “Gee, Officer Sharp sure is trustworthy,” Luanne said sarcastically. “Like a big golden retriever. I can’t believe you trusted him with my keys.”

  “That’s how things are done around here,” Emily said with a small shrug of her shoulders. She put on her blinker and turned into the driveway of the house. “Small towns are a little weird, I know.”

  More than a little weird, if you asked Luanne. But no one did.

  She stared up at the red and white monstrosity of a house that her sister had purchased. The Peppermint House, as it was known about town, was an eight-bedroom Victorian. It was the first house built in Bluebonnet, and had the distinction of also being the biggest eyesore in town. At some point, some fool had thought it would be “cute” to paint the house bright candy red and the trim and shutters white. It looked like a big ugly candy cane.

  But Emily loved the damn place. And she was determined to run a bed-and-breakfast, even though she’d never actually run a bed-and-breakfast. She’d also never renovated a Victorian home, either, and she was doing that as a solo project as well. Luanne normally stayed out of Emily’s business because she was pretty sure Emily didn’t want to be second-guessed on her new career path. And Luanne could respect that.

  They slid out of the car once it was parked, and Luanne glanced up at the lacy curtains fluttering in an upstairs window. “You really ought to let me do a feature about this place on my blog, Em. Haunted hotels are really big right now. I’ll fake some noises on camera to make it seem legit. You’ll be crawling with customers in no time.”

  “No, Luanne,” Emily said firmly, heading to the front door. “I don’t want to be on your blog. I want normal customers, not ghostbusters. Plus, I’m still renovating.”

  She pushed open the front door and stepped inside. Not locked. That was another thing that wigged Luanne out about small towns. No one locked their doors.

  “Why not?” Luanne dropped her camera on the foyer table and headed into the kitchen to grab a drink. She was thirsty. Officer Hotness hadn’t offered her a drink while she’d been in jail, which was a shame. It was almost as if he hadn’t liked her. “You need the money.”

  “I don’t need the money yet,” Emily said. “And your blog attracts weirdos. This is a small town. I like the small-town vibe. No one wants any kooky stuff.” Her sister gave her a prim look. “Except you.”

  “Kooky stuff pays the bills, Em,” Luanne said, swiping a bottle of Dr Pepper from the fridge and moving to a barstool. “Last month’s ad revenue was double what I normally make. My traffic’s gone through the roof. You got any of those muffins left over?”

  Emily bustled past Luanne, pulled a plastic baggie of muffins out of the fridge, and set it before Luanne. “Yeah, and the stalkers went through the roof, too. That’s why you moved here, right? Because someone followed you home once?”

  Luanne shrugged and pulled a muffin out of the bag, peeling the paper from it with great interest and avoiding her sister’s direct gaze. “The Legend of Jane is popular with men.”

  “It’s because you’re dressed like a nut while you do these stunts.” Emily complained. “You should get a real job, Luanne.”

  “No one will hire an investment broker with an expired license and bad credit, Em. You know that.” She bit into the muffin. “Jane’s all I’ve got right now. In another month, I’ll have the last credit card paid off. I can’t fix my credit, but I figure if I get enough money in the bank, it won’t matter. Then I can see about setting up a business. A real one. But for now, the Legend of Jane rides on.”

  Emily sighed and shook her head, then grabbed a muffin for herself. “I just worry that you’re going to get in over your head, Luanne.”

  “Pfft,” she said. “I’ve got it all under control. It’s not like I’ll get sent to jail…Oh, wait,” she teased.

  Emily threw a muffin at Luanne. “You’re horrible.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  Luanne trailed a finger along a shelf in the hardware store, yawning to herself as she thought. This small mom-and-pop place wouldn’t carry what she needed for her next stunt, seeing as how they didn’t have lumber. But since she was already here, she might as well check out the rest of the store. She lifted her finger and shuddered at the dust coating the tip. Clearly cleaning supplies were not high on the hardware store’s list.

  She needed props for this weekend’s stunt. Even though she had her cow tipping episode (however botched) and the subsequent arrest on tape, she liked to have a few episodes filmed ahead of time.

  Plus, she was working a lot because she was bored. Since she’d just moved to Bluebonnet, she didn’t know anyone other than Emily, really. And all her friends were currently at their day jobs and couldn’t text or chat on the phone. So to pass the time, she was prepping for her next stunt. This upcoming one would be crop circles. She’d driven past a long, flat field while heading down to Bluebonnet, and it had given her the idea. Apparently you could make crop circles by using rope and boards and pushing the grass down in circles. Luanne had watched some videos and she figured she could make a reasonable attempt at it. And hey, if she failed, that made just as good an episode as the successful ones.

  With a length of rope tucked under her arm and two spools of duct tape over her wrist (one never knew when one would need more duct tape), Luanne headed for the checkout counter. She paused, waiting as the ancient man behind the cashier’s desk slowly rang up the items for the man in front of her. When they paused to discuss whether the right size nuts were being purchased, Luanne stifled her laugh and glanced out the windows to the street.

  Downtown Bluebonnet was kind of cute, she had to admit to herself. There was a homey, quaint feel to things and the shops that lined the street were cheerful, even if they weren’t much to her city-girl eyes. Her gaze drifted over to the Mexican restaurant—the only one in town, mind you—the coffee shop, the beauty salon, and an antiques store that looked more like an overfed yard sale. There was a cute little gazebo in the center of town, and on the other side of Main Street were a few more small shops. Two streets down, and she could walk back to the Peppermint House, which made Main Street rather convenient for her. But since the hardware store didn’t carry lumber, she’d have to borrow Emily’s car and head into the city, since her car was still with the police.

  Speaking of the police…her eyes narrowed with dislike in the direction of the city hall-slash-utilities-slash-library-slash-police building. That darned cop was probably in there, telling stories about how he’d kinda-sorta arrested “Jane” from the Legend of Jane website. She hoped she never saw his ass again. Then she paused. His ass was actually pretty hot. She wouldn’t mind seeing it again. She hoped she just never had to talk to the owner again. But not being able to stare at an ass that hot would seem like a waste of a perfectly good ass.

  The customer in front of her finally finished, and Luanne set her rope and duct tape on the counter with a smile. “Morning.”

  The old man gave her a toothless grin. “Morning to you. Did you find what you were looking for?”

  Why, what a grand opening. Luanne grinned at him and fished a printout from her purse. “Not really, but I wanted to ask you two things.”

  His brows wrinkled together. “I’ll help if I can.�
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  He seemed like a sweet old man. She smiled and unfolded the printout, showing it to him. “Have you seen one of these around town?”

  The old man stared at the printout and then frowned at her. “That’s an ugly dog.”

  “It’s a chupacabra,” she told him, and moved ahead with her lie. “I talked with a farmer the other day who said he saw one off of the highway. You ever seen one?”

  “Chupa-whattah?”

  “Chupacabra,” she repeated, and patted his hand. “You can keep that printout. I’ll pay two hundred dollars to interview an eyewitness that’s seen one.”

  His eyes widened. “Mind if I post this by the register?”

  “That would be lovely,” she said sweetly. When he finished hanging it, she beamed at him. “I was looking for wood planks this morning. About five feet long. Two inches thick. And a drill.”

  “This here’s the hardware store.”

  “Yes, I know. Some hardware stores carry wood. You don’t?”

  He scratched his chin, thinking. “Lemme go to the back and check.” He began to shuffle out from behind the counter.

  He moved at a snail’s pace, and the morning was half gone already. “It’s okay. I can go somewhere else.”

  “No, I don’t mind. I’ll go look.”

  “It’s really not necessary,” she continued, watching his plodding steps and wincing at his speed.

  He waved her off, disappearing down one dusty aisle.

  Lord, she was going to be here all day if he was going to check in the back for a plank of wood for her. Luanne sighed and hopped up on the counter to wait, dangling her feet. She glanced out the dirty window back to Main Street…and froze.

  Officer Hotness was passing by the window.

  She groaned. Don’t come in here. Don’t come in here. Don’t come in here.

  He glanced through the window, squinted…and his steps slowed.

  Damn it.

  He headed for the door of Merle’s Hardware.

  Just her luck. Luanne straightened, pinning a smile to her face. The best defense was a good offense. Maybe if she came on hot and heavy, he’d skedaddle right away. It was as good a plan as any.

  The officer entered the hardware store, and she noticed he ducked a little when he went through the door. Maybe it was because she was a six-foot amazon, but that simple motion seemed irresistibly sexy somehow. This was a man she wouldn’t have to wear flats to go out on a date with, she realized. This was a man she wouldn’t have to hunch down next to in photographs. This was someone she could relax around. And that was incredibly, unbelievably appealing to someone as tall as she was.

  She didn’t have to fake the purr in her voice as she smiled at him. “Why, hello, Officer Hotness.”

  He stopped in his tracks and glanced behind him.

  “I’m talking to you.”

  He wore mirrored sunglasses, but she was pretty sure he was blushing underneath them. “Officer Sharp,” he corrected.

  “I’ll say,” she added with a wink. “How’s it hanging?”

  Yep, he was definitely blushing.

  Officer Sharp moved to her side and pulled a set of keys out of his pocket. “These are yours. The car is parked in front of the station.”

  “That’s very thoughtful of you,” she said, swinging her feet and staring up at him thoughtfully. “How are the cows?”

  “The cows?”

  “No worse for the wear despite my visit?”

  A hint of a smile curved his mouth, and she saw hints of sexiness in his rugged face. “No. They’re fine.” He looked her up and down, noticing her plain jeans and white T-shirt. “No Legendary gear today?”

  “Afraid not,” she said with a smile. “Jane only comes out to play when I’m filming. The rest of the time it’s just plain old me.”

  He leaned on the counter next to her, and his arms crossed over his chest. “I’m not so sure about the ‘plain’ part, Miss Allard.”

  He remembered her last name. And he said she wasn’t plain. Officer Hotness was flirting back with her. How…fun. Luanne tilted her head at him, staring up at her reflection in his glasses. “That’s sweet of you. I bet you say that to all the crazy trespassers.”

  A flash of white teeth shone. “Just the pretty ones.”

  “So where would a trespasser like me go to get a drink around here, Officer?” She was inches away from batting her eyelashes at him like an idiot. The man was definitely stroking her ego.

  “Only one place in town serves alcohol. You like Tex-Mex?”

  He must have been talking about the hole-in-the-wall Mexican food place she’d been avoiding since moving here. Figured. “Don’t suppose you’d like to get a drink?”

  His grin widened. “I…” His voice broke off and his smile disappeared.

  “What?”

  He reached past her and snagged the flyer that Merle had put on the register. “What’s this?”

  “Oh, nothing,” she said lightly. “Someone’s looking for a—” She leaned over the paper and made a show of reading it. “Chupacabra, looks like.”

  Officer Sharp stared at the flyer, his mouth thinning. Then his face turned toward her again. “If I call the number at the bottom of this flyer, is your phone gonna ring?”

  Luanne swung her feet. “Maybe.”

  Just then, Merle appeared from the back storage room, his steps shuffling and slow. “The only wood I have is on the mops,” he pointed out, unscrewing a mop and then waving the handle at her. “It’s not a flat board, but will this do?”

  “No, I need flat,” she told him quickly, hoping he wouldn’t dismantle any other mops on her behalf. “It’s okay. I’ll head into the city and go to one of the big lumber stores. No big deal.”

  “I’d like to help,” Merle said, staring at the headless mop and then offering it to her. “You sure?”

  “I’m sure.”

  “I’ll just ring you up, then.”

  It got quiet as Merle shuffled back behind the counter. Luanne hopped down and peeked over at Officer Sharp. His arms were crossed over his chest, the chupacabra flyer discarded on the counter and forgotten.

  “What’s with the do-it-yourself kit?” he finally asked.

  She’d been rather hoping he wouldn’t. “Just a project.”

  “A Jane project?”

  Luanne fidgeted as Merle began to ring up the duct tape and rope. “It might or might not be for making crop circles.”

  “Luanne,” he said in a warning tone.

  So they’d moved beyond “Miss Allard” and “Jane” on to Luanne. And now he was using his disapproving cop voice on her. Gone was Officer Hotness. Officer No-Fun had returned.

  “It’s just stuff,” she told him. “Don’t worry. I’m going to crop-circle outside of your jurisdiction.”

  He said nothing as Merle gave her the total, and she pulled out a wad of cash and paid him. But when she picked up her purchases and headed out the door, he followed her.

  Damn it. She paused on the sidewalk outside of the hardware store, glancing down the street. He’d parked her car on the side of city hall, she could see now. She could go there and pick it up, but Officer Hotness would probably dog her footsteps every inch of the way. Or she could run like a chicken and head down the street back toward the Peppermint House.

  A tall shadow fell over her, blocking out the light, and Luanne squinted up at the cop. It was rather novel, having to squint up at a man. This must have been how regular-height women felt. “There a problem, Officer? Is buying rope and duct tape illegal now?”

  His lips thinned as he regarded her upturned face. “I don’t like what you’re doing. This is a quiet town. You don’t need to get everyone riled up about chupacabra or crop circles or cow tippings. You’re just causing trouble to cause trouble, and I can’t have that.”

  “Are you giving me a lecture on being naughty? That seems unfair, considering I pretty much asked you out and you just turned me down.” So she was fudging the facts a little.
She was still a little disappointed that they’d gone from sexy flirting to Jane-is-a-bad-bad-girl.

  That expressive mouth fell open, just a little. “Asked me out?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I asked you where a girl has to go to get a drink around here. Hello? Classic pickup line.”

  She could have sworn his ears turned just the slightest bit red. “I see.”

  “I’m a big girl,” she told him. “No height joke intended. You can just say no without lecturing me. I won’t cry.”

  He took the sunglasses off in the next minute, and she realized just how very green his eyes were. How striking. A hint of a smile curved his mouth again, and she felt a flare of attraction between them again. “I don’t think I want to say no, Miss Allard. What time should I pick you up?”

  CHAPTER THREE

  For some reason, Luanne was nervous. She smoothed her black dress in the mirror, then sighed and tore it off, tossing it on the bed with thirteen other outfits. This was just a stupid date. It wasn’t even supposed to be a date. She should just think of it as dinner with a friendly stranger who happened to be a guy. That’s all.

  But she kept thinking of the appreciative way he’d looked at her—Luanne, not wacky Legend of Jane—and for some reason, she wanted to get this right. So she changed clothes again, slipping on her favorite pair of jeans that made her ass look fantastic, and a silky top with no sleeves and a loose neckline that displayed some cleavage she was rather proud of. Much better. This outfit said that she was interested but not invested. The dress said a little too much. Jeans were perfect.

  Luanne dug through the bottom of her closet and triumphantly pulled out a bright red pair of heels. They were four-inch stilettos and gorgeous. She loved them. She never wore them, though, because they made her tower over every man she’d ever dated, or made her look like a flagpole when she went out with her girlfriends.

  Tonight, though? Tonight she had a date with a man who was easily six inches taller than her, and she could put on stilettos. And that was something she was definitely going to take advantage of.