Black Box
Jennifer Egan
Jennifer Egan was born in Chicago and raised in San Francisco. She attended the University of Pennsylvania and St John’s College, Cambridge. She is the author of four novels, The Invisible Circus, Look at Me, a finalist for the National Book Award, The Keep, and the bestselling, A Visit from the Goon Squad which won the Pulitzer Prize, and a short story collection, Emerald City. She has published short fiction in The New Yorker, Harper’s, McSweeney’s and Ploughshares, among others, and her journalism appears frequently in the New York Times Magazine.
Also by Jennifer Egan
Emerald City (short story collection)
The Invisible Circus
Look at Me
The Keep
A Visit From the Goon Squad
Black Box
Jennifer Egan
Constable & Robinson Ltd
55–56 Russell Square
London WC1B 4HP
www.constablerobinson.com
First published in The New Yorker
and online, via Twitter, by @NYerfiction, 2012
Published in the UK by Corsair,
an imprint of Constable & Robinson Ltd, 2012
Copyright © Jennifer Egan, 2012
The right of Jennifer Egan to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
All rights reserved. This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or locales is entirely coincidental.
A copy of the British Library Cataloguing in
Publication Data is available from the British Library
ISBN: 978-1-47210-281-2 (ebook)
1
People rarely look the way you expect them to, even when you’ve seen pictures.
The first thirty seconds in a person’s presence are the most important.
If you’re having trouble perceiving and projecting, focus on projecting.
Necessary ingredients for a successful projection: giggles; bare legs; shyness.
The goal is to be both irresistible and invisible.
When you succeed, a certain sharpness will go out of his eyes.
2
Some powerful men actually call their beauties “Beauty.”
Counter to reputation, there is a deep camaraderie among beauties.
If your Designated Mate is widely feared, the beauties at the house party where you’ve gone undercover to meet him will be especially kind.
Kindness feels good, even when it’s based on a false notion of your identity and purpose.
3
Posing as a beauty means not reading what you would like to read on a rocky shore in the South of France.
Sunlight on bare skin can be as nourishing as food.
Even a powerful man will be briefly self-conscious when he first disrobes to his bathing suit.
It is technically impossible for a man to look better in a Speedo than in swim trunks.
If you love someone with dark skin, white skin looks drained of something vital.
4
When you know that a person is violent and ruthless, you will see violent ruthlessness in such basic things as his swim stroke.
“What are you doing?” from your Designated Mate amid choppy waves after he has followed you into the sea may or may not betray suspicion.
Your reply—“Swimming”—may or may not be perceived as sarcasm.
“Shall we swim together toward those rocks?” may or may not be a question.
“All that way?” will, if spoken correctly, sound ingenuous.
“We’ll have privacy there” may sound unexpectedly ominous.
5
A hundred feet of blue-black Mediterranean will allow you ample time to deliver a strong self-lecture.
At such moments, it may be useful to explicitly recall your training:
“You will be infiltrating the lives of criminals.
“You will be in constant danger.
“Some of you will not survive, but those who do will be heroes.
“A few of you will save lives and even change the course of history.
“We ask of you an impossible combination of traits: ironclad scruples and a willingness to violate them;
“An abiding love for your country and a willingness to consort with individuals who are working actively to destroy it;
“The instincts and intuition of experts, and the blank records and true freshness of ingénues.
“You will each perform this service only once, after which you will return to your lives.
“We cannot promise that your lives will be exactly the same when you go back to them.”
6
Eagerness and pliability can be expressed even in the way you climb from the sea onto chalky yellow rocks.
“You’re a very fast swimmer,” uttered by a man who is still submerged, may not be intended as praise.
Giggling is sometimes better than answering.
“You are a lovely girl” may be meant straightforwardly.
Ditto “I want to fuck you now.”
“Well? What do you think about that?” suggests a preference for direct verbal responses over giggling.
“I like it” must be uttered with enough gusto to compensate for a lack of declarative color.
“You don’t sound sure” indicates insufficient gusto.
“I’m not sure” is acceptable only when followed, coyly, with “You’ll have to convince me.”
Throwing back your head and closing your eyes allows you to give the appearance of sexual readiness while concealing revulsion.
7
Being alone with a violent and ruthless man, surrounded by water, can make the shore seem very far away.
You may feel solidarity, at such a time, with the beauties just visible there in their bright bikinis.
You may appreciate, at such a time, why you aren’t being paid for this work.
Your voluntary service is the highest form of patriotism.
Remind yourself that you aren’t being paid when he climbs out of the water and lumbers toward you.
Remind yourself that you aren’t being paid when he leads you behind a boulder and pulls you onto his lap.
The Dissociation Technique is like a parachute—you must pull the cord at the correct time.
Too soon, and you may hinder your ability to function at a crucial moment;
Too late, and you will be lodged too deeply inside the action to wriggle free.
You will be tempted to pull the cord when he surrounds you with arms whose bulky strength reminds you, fleetingly, of your husband’s.
You will be tempted to pull it when you feel him start to move against you from below.
You will be tempted to pull it when his smell envelops you: metallic, like a warm hand clutching pennies.
The directive “Relax” suggests that your discomfort is palpable.
“No one can see us” suggests that your discomfort has been understood as fear of physical exposure.
“Relax, relax,” uttered in rhythmic, throaty tones, suggests that your discomfort is not unwelcome.
8
Begin the Dissociation Technique only when physical violation is imminent.
Close your eyes and slowly count backward from ten.
With each number, imagine yourself rising out of your body and moving on
e step farther away from it.
By eight, you should be hovering just outside your skin.
By five, you should be floating a foot or two above your body, feeling only vague anxiety over what is about to happen to it.
By three, you should feel fully detached from your physical self.
By two, your body should be able to act and react without your participation.
By one, your mind should drift so free that you lose track of what is happening below.
White clouds spin and curl.
A blue sky is as depthless as the sea.
The sound of waves against rocks existed millennia before there were creatures who could hear it.
Spurs and gashes of stone narrate a violence that the earth itself has long forgotten.
Your mind will rejoin your body when it is safe to do so.
9
Return to your body carefully, as if you were reëntering your home after a hurricane.
Resist the impulse to reconstruct what has just happened.
Focus instead on gauging your Designated Mate’s reaction to the new intimacy between you.
In some men, intimacy will prompt a more callous, indifferent attitude.
In others, intimacy may awaken problematic curiosity about you.
“Where did you learn to swim like that?,” uttered lazily, while supine, with two fingers in your hair, indicates curiosity.
Tell the truth without precision.
“I grew up near a lake” is both true and vague.
“Where was the lake?” conveys dissatisfaction with your vagueness.
“Columbia County, New York” suggests precision while avoiding it.
“Manhattan?” betrays unfamiliarity with the geography of New York State.
Never contradict your Designated Mate.
“Where did you grow up?,” asked of a man who has just asked you the same thing, is known as “mirroring.”
Mirror your Designated Mate’s attitudes, interests, desires, and tastes.
Your goal is to become part of his atmosphere: a source of comfort and ease.
Only then will he drop his guard when you are near.
Only then will he have significant conversations within your earshot.
Only then will he leave his possessions in a porous and unattended state.
Only then can you begin to gather information systematically.
10
“Come. Let’s go back,” uttered brusquely, suggests that your Designated Mate has no more wish to talk about himself than you do.
Avoid the temptation to analyze his moods and whims.
Salt water has a cleansing effect.
11
You will see knowledge of your new intimacy with your Designated Mate in the eyes of every beauty on shore.
“We saved lunch for you” may or may not be an allusion to the reason for your absence.
Cold fish is unappealing, even when served in a good lemon sauce.
Be friendly to other beauties, but not solicitous.
When you are in conversation with a beauty, it is essential that you be perceived as no more or less than she is.
Be truthful about every aspect of your life except marriage (if any).
If married, say that you and your spouse have divorced, to give an impression of unfettered freedom.
“Oh, that’s sad!” suggests that the beauty you’re chatting with would like to marry.
12
If your Designated Mate abruptly veers toward the villa, follow him.
Taking his hand and smiling congenially can create a sense of low-key accompaniment.
An abstracted smile in return, as if he’d forgotten who you are, may be a sign of pressing concerns.
The concerns of your Designated Mate are your concerns.
The room assigned to a powerful man will be more lavish than the one you slept in while awaiting his arrival.
Never look for hidden cameras: the fact that you’re looking will give you away.
Determine whether your Designated Mate seeks physical intimacy; if not, feign the wish for a nap.
Your pretense of sleep will allow him to feel that he is alone.
Curling up under bedclothes, even those belonging to an enemy subject, may be soothing.
You’re more likely to hear his handset vibrate if your eyes are closed.
13
A door sliding open signals his wish to take the call on the balcony.
Your Designated Mate’s important conversations will take place outdoors.
If you are within earshot of his conversation, record it.
Since beauties carry neither pocketbooks nor timepieces, you cannot credibly transport recording devices.
A microphone has been implanted just beyond the first turn of your right ear canal.
Activate the microphone by pressing the triangle of cartilage across your ear opening.
You will hear a faint whine as recording begins.
In extreme quiet, or to a person whose head is adjacent to yours, this whine may be audible.
Should the whine be detected, swat your ear as if to deflect a mosquito, hitting the on/off cartilage to deactivate the mike.
You need not identify or comprehend the language your subject is using.
Your job is proximity; if you are near your Designated Mate, recording his private speech, you are succeeding.
Profanity sounds the same in every language.
An angry subject will guard his words less carefully.
14
If your subject is angry, you may leave your camouflage position and move as close to him as possible to improve recording quality.
You may feel afraid as you do this.
Your pounding heartbeat will not be recorded.
If your Designated Mate is standing on a balcony, hover in the doorway just behind him.
If he pivots and discovers you, pretend that you were on the verge of approaching him.
Anger usually trumps suspicion.
If your subject brushes past you and storms out of the room, slamming the door, you have eluded detection.
15
If your Designated Mate leaves your company a second time, don’t follow him again.
Deactivate your ear mike and resume your “nap.”
A moment of repose may be a good time to reassure your loved ones.
Nuanced communication is too easily monitored by the enemy.
Your Subcutaneous Pulse System issues pings so generic that detection would reveal neither source nor intent.
A button is embedded behind the inside ligament of your right knee (if right-handed).
Depress twice to indicate to loved ones that you are well and thinking of them.
You may send this signal only once each day.
A continuous depression of the button indicates an emergency.
You will debate, each day, the best time to send your signal.
You will reflect on the fact that your husband, coming from a culture of tribal allegiance, understands and applauds your patriotism.
You will reflect on the enclosed and joyful life that the two of you have shared since graduate school.
You will reflect on the fact that America is your husband’s chosen country, and that he loves it.
You will reflect on the fact that your husband’s rise to prominence would have been unimaginable in any other nation.
You will reflect on your joint conviction that your service had to be undertaken before you had children.
You will reflect on the fact that you are thirty-three, and have spent your professional life fomenting musical trends.
You will reflect on the fact that you must return home the same person you were when you left.
You will reflect on the fact that you’ve been guaranteed you will not be the same person.
You will reflect on the fact that you had stopped being that person even before leaving.
You will reflect on the fact that too much r
eflection is pointless.
You will reflect on the fact that these “instructions” are becoming less and less instructive.
Your Field Instructions, stored in a chip beneath your hairline, will serve as both a mission log and a guide for others undertaking this work.
Pressing your left thumb (if right-handed) against your left middle fingertip begins recording.
For clearest results, mentally speak the thought, as if talking to yourself.
Always filter your observations and experience through the lens of their didactic value.
Your training is ongoing; you must learn from each step you take.
When your mission is complete, you may view the results of the download before adding your Field Instructions to your mission file.
Where stray or personal thoughts have intruded, you may delete them.
16
Pretend sleep can lead to actual sleep.
Sleep is restorative in almost every circumstance.
The sound of showering likely indicates the return of your Designated Mate.
As a beauty, you will be expected to return to your room and change clothes often; a fresh appearance at mealtimes is essential.
The goal is to be a lovely, innocuous, evolving surprise.
A crisp white sundress against tanned skin is widely viewed as attractive.
Avoid overbright colors; they are attention-seeking and hinder camouflage.
White is not, technically speaking, a bright color.
White is, nevertheless, bright.
Gold spike-heeled sandals may compromise your ability to run or jump, but they look good on tanned feet.
Thirty-three is still young enough to register as “young.”
Registering as “young” is especially welcome to those who may not register as “young” much longer.
If your Designated Mate leads you to dinner with an arm at your waist, assume that your attire change was successful.
