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    Cabin Fever (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 6)

    Page 3
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      we stepped out the sliding glass door.

      Each of us had to walk into the woods and write

      our name on the tree fort we built last summer.

      And whoever chickened out was wrong about

      volleyball and had to call the other guy “sir” for

      the rest of his life.

      53

      Rowley seemed to think that was a fair deal.

      I told Rowley I’d go first, and I walked into

      the woods. But as soon as I knew he couldn’t see

      me, I ran around to the front of my house.

      zip

      There’s no way I was gonna go into those

      woods by myself at night. I had written my name

      on the tree fort when me and Rowley built it over

      the summer, and that’s the reason I came up

      with the dare.

      54

      Greg

      I walked in the front door, made a bowl of ice

      cream, and relaxed for a while. And I have to

      say, some time to myself was just what I needed.

      aahh!

      55

      Once I finished my ice cream, I walked around

      the side of the house, rubbed some dirt on my face

      and clothes, then came running out of the woods.

      there was a big dog or

      a bear or something

      back there, but

      luckily i outran it!

      I probably shouldn’t have added that last part,

      because Rowley totally gave up on the dare after that.

      can we please go

      inside now, “sir”?

      56

      Anyway, that break was just what the doctor

      ordered, and the rest of the night was

      argument-free.

      shudder

      shudder

      This morning my family headed to church, and

      Rowley came with us. I don’t think Rowley’s

      family really goes to church that much, so he’s

      not used to all the rules about what you’re

      supposed to do and when. So I always have to

      tell him when you need to kneel and stand and

      all that.

      Toward the end we all did the “Peace be with you”

      part, where you’re supposed to shake everyone’s

      hand. I said “Peace be with you” to Rowley, but

      he started giggling.

      57

      I think he must’ve thought I said “Peas be with

      you,” like the vegetable.

      peace

      be with

      you.

      no, peas

      be with

      you! hee

      hee hee!

      shake

      shake

      I don’t think Rowley totally understood that

      you’re just supposed to shake hands with people,

      either, because when the woman in the pew behind

      us said “Peace be with you,” Rowley gave her a big

      wet kiss on the cheek.

      smooch

      After church we dropped Rowley off at his house,

      and I was glad he was gone and that I could go

      back to playing my game.

      58

      And something tells me Mom felt the same way.

      peas be

      with you.

      hee hee hee!

      DECEMBER

      Tuesday

      Today I was playing Net Kritterz in my room,

      and Mom walked in. She watched for a while, then

      asked what I was doing in the game. I explained

      that I was watching my Chihuahua watch TV,

      because if your virtual pet watches at least two

      hours of commercials a day, it makes him happy and

      you get twenty bonus tokens.

      59

      Then I asked Mom if she wouldn’t mind spotting

      me ten bucks because the Net Kritterz store

      just started carrying trampoline shoes and I was

      pretty sure Gregory’s Little Friend would really

      like to have them.

      But I guess I picked the wrong time to ask Mom

      for a loan, because it seemed like she was in a bad

      mood. She said I didn’t have any appreciation for

      the “value of money” and that if I wanted to pay

      for my Net Kritterz “habit,” it was gonna have


      to come out of my own pocket.

      I told Mom I didn’t have any money of my own

      and that’s why I kept hitting up her and Dad.

      But she said there were plenty of things I

      could do to earn some. She said it’s supposed to

      snow tonight and I could go out and shovel our

      neighbors’ driveways tomorrow.

      60

      I really don’t feel comfortable knocking on

      doors and asking our neighbors for money. My

      school has three fundraisers a year, and I have

      to go from house to house begging people I

      hardly know to buy something from me.

      And half the time I don’t even really know what

      it is I’m selling.

      hello, mr. kappler.

      would you like to

      purchase some hardy

      geranium bules?

      I wish the school would give us something useful

      to sell, like candy bars or cookies. The Girl Scouts

      are lucky, because at least they get to sell stuff

      people actually want.

      61

      The way the system works with these fundraisers

      is that us students do all the work and the

      school gives us these junky prizes as rewards.

      One time I sold twenty dollars’ worth of gourmet

      coffee beans, and all I got was a cheap yo-yo

      that broke before I even got off school property.

      what

      the—?

      snap

      boink

      But Rowley really got stiffed. He sold $150

      worth of beans and got a Chinese finger trap as

      his prize. It actually worked like it was supposed

      to, but Rowley couldn’t get his fingers out, and

      his mom had to cut it off when he got home.

      snip

      62

      Last year the school tried something different.

      They had us sell raffle tickets, and whoever won

      the raffle would get a spring yard cleanup from

      the seventh-grade class.

      Mrs. Spangler, who lives down the street from

      me, won the raffle, and on the first day of

      spring the whole seventh grade showed up at her

      house. But there were only two rakes for all those

      kids, so most of the class just ended up sitting

      around with nothing to do.

      63

      And by the time the “spring cleanup” was done, Mrs.

      Spangler’s yard was worse off than when it started.

      The new thing the school is doing is these

      Walkathons. The idea is that we’ll walk around

      the track at school a certain number of times, like

      one hundred or two hundred laps, and get our

      neighbors to sponsor us for each lap we complete.

      walkathon

      Sponsor Sheet

      $0.25/lap

      Name

      # of laps

      Deorgette Kramer

      Tony Sinclair

      Henry Nielson

      Leslie Simpson

      Barbara Preston

      Lavar Collison

      64

      I can understand asking someone to pay for seeds

      or coffee beans or whatever, but I don’t know

      what kind of person gets pleasure out of having

      some kid walk around a football field a coupl
    e

      hundred times.

      The reason the school put on the Walkathon in

      September was so they could pay for a billboard

      near the town park.

      keep the town

      park clean

      65

      I couldn’t figure out why the school didn’t

      just skip the Walkathon and have the kids

      clean up the town park instead. But I guess if

      the seventh grade was involved, they might’ve

      completely trashed it.

      I’ve done the math, and I’ve figured out

      that each grown-up on my street gives me an

      average of twenty-three dollars a year for school

      fundraisers.

      So I should just invite all the neighbors to my

      house once a year and tell them to bring me the

      twenty-three bucks in cash, because it sure would

      save everyone a lot of pain and anguish.

      66

      Wednesday

      It snowed last night just like Mom said it would,

      and while all the other kids in the neighborhood

      were enjoying their day off from school, I was

      pounding the pavement looking for work.

      I thought about whose door I should knock

      on first, but it wasn’t easy. Mrs. Durocher lives

      right across the street, but she’s a little too

      affectionate, and I usually do my best to avoid her.

      how about

      a hug,

      gregory?

      did somebody

      just drop

      this pebble?

      67

      Then there’s Mr. Alexander, who moved into the

      Snellas’ house. He must not have worn braces as

      a kid, because his teeth aren’t very straight.

      Unfortunately, the first time Dad met Mr. Alexander

      was on Halloween, and Dad must’ve thought his

      teeth weren’t real.

      ha ha! those

      teeth are

      hilarious!

      So I decided to skip Mr. Alexander’s house, too.

      There are people who live on my street that I

      haven’t spoken to in years. When I was about

      four, Mom and Dad had a cocktail party for some

      of the couples in the neighborhood, and I went

      downstairs during the party to use the bathroom.

      68

      But I guess back then I didn’t know you were

      supposed to keep the door locked, so Mr. Harkin

      walked right in on me.

      When I was done I found Mom and told on

      Mr. Harkin, and I’m sure he felt like a jerk.

      So I’m not about to knock on the door of some

      guy I ratted out when I was in preschool and ask

      him for money, either.

      oops! sorry

      ’bout that,

      buddy!

      69

      Today I realized there’s just too much history

      between me and the people in my neighborhood, so

      I decided to go one street over to Prentice Lane

      and start fresh.

      I walked up to the house on the corner and

      knocked on the door. But I recognized the lady

      who answered. She was Mrs. Melcher, one of

      Gramma’s friends from Bingo.

      I told Mrs. Melcher I was trying to earn a

      little money shoveling people’s driveways and that

      I’d be happy to do hers for five bucks.

      70

      But she told me she never gets visitors and

      invited me inside to chat.

      I didn’t want to be rude, so the next thing I

      knew I was sitting in Mrs. Melcher’s living room

      surrounded by the lawn ornaments she took inside

      for the winter. I felt a little uncomfortable, but

      I figured if I was gonna ask someone for money

      the least I could do was try and be polite.

      But all I could think about the whole time I

      sat there was how much money I could’ve been

      making if I’d just knocked on someone else’s

      door instead.

      71

      I must’ve been in there for an hour before I

      was finally able to steer the conversation back

      to the subject of me shoveling her driveway.

      But Mrs. Melcher said her son was coming by in

      his pickup truck any minute and he plows her

      driveway for free. So that’s an hour of my life

      I’ll never get back.

      rumble

      scrape

      I headed back out onto Prentice Lane and

      started knocking on doors. I guess most people

      were at work, so it took me a while to find

      someone who was actually home. I finally got lucky

      when a guy who looked like he just woke up came

      to the door. I told him I’d shovel his driveway

      for five bucks, and he said it was a deal.

      72

      I got to work and was making pretty good

      progress. But it started snowing again while I

      was shoveling.

      By the time I finished, it had snowed so much

      that you could barely tell I did any work.

      73

      So I rang the doorbell and asked the guy if

      he wanted me to shovel his driveway again for

      another five bucks. But he wouldn’t go for it.

      And to make things worse, the guy said he

      wasn’t gonna pay me the first five bucks until his

      driveway was clear like I promised. See, this is

      why it’s a good idea to have a contract before you

      start working for someone.

      I got back out there and started shoveling, but so

      much snow was falling that I was getting nowhere.

      (pant,

      pant)

      74

      Then I had an idea. Gramma’s house was only a

      few streets away, and I remembered that she

      keeps her lawn mower in the garage. So I walked

      over to her place and pushed the mower back to

      the driveway I was working on.

      I thought the snow-mowing idea was genius,

      and I couldn’t believe no one had ever thought

      of it before.

      Unfortunately, it didn’t go as smoothly as I

      hoped it would. I thought the snow would shoot

      out of the side, but the blade cut right through

      it and the snow stayed where it was.

      rrrrrrrrrr

      Eventually the mower started making funny

      sounds, and then all of a sudden it stopped.

      75

      So I guess those things aren’t really built for

      cold weather.

      rattle

      shudder

      I pushed the mower to Gramma’s and put it back

      in her garage. Hopefully it will thaw out before

      the summer rolls around.

      I still had this guy’s driveway to deal with, but

      now the snow was REALLY coming down, and

      there was no way I was gonna spend the rest of

      my day working for five bucks. I needed a quick

      solution so I could move on.

      I could see that his garden hose was attached to

      the house, so I turned it on, put the nozzle to

      the “shower” setting, and sprayed down the snow

      in the driveway.

      76

      It was GREAT. The water melted the snow

      on contact, and I was cruising. Then I saw a

      sprinkler leaning up against the house, and I got

      an even BETTER idea.

      Once I was finished, I turned off the sprinkler

      and knocked on the guy’s door. He
    paid me my five

      bucks when he saw that his driveway was cleared.

      77

      I was pretty excited about the way things

      worked out, and I figured if I found some more

      people with sprinklers, I could have multiple jobs

      going at once.

      Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anyone else who

      was home. But my idea probably wouldn’t have

      worked out anyway. Because by the time I

      walked back down Prentice Lane, the driveway I

      hit with the sprinkler was frozen over.

      waaaugh!

      slide

      When Dad got home, we had to go out and buy five

      big bags of rock salt to melt the guy’s driveway.

      78

      So now instead of having money in my pocket for

      all my hard work, I’m twenty bucks in the hole.

      shake

      shake

      crackle

      pop

      Thursday

      Dad wasn’t too happy that I turned somebody’s

      driveway into an ice-skating rink yesterday, and

      he said he was disappointed in me for using “poor

      judgment.” That’s the exact same phrase he used a

      few weeks ago when I scratched up his car.

      It all started when I won Student of the Week

      at school. When you win Student of the Week,

      they give you a bumper sticker that you can put

      on your family’s car.

      79

      The bumper sticker is pretty corny, but it was

      still cool to win it.

      My child is the

      STUDENT OF THE WEEK

      and I’m MIGHTY PROUD!

      I’m not sure why I won, but I think they

      just give it to everyone eventually. Fregley won

      Student of the Week this past Friday, and I’m

      guessing it was for not biting anyone for five

      days straight.

      Mom wanted to put my sticker on her car, but

      her bumper is so overcrowded that I knew it

      would just get lost on there. So I asked Dad if

      I could put it on his car.

      80

      Dad recently bought a new car, and I thought

      my Student of the Week sticker would look really

     


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