The Christmas Ornament, Page 3

Thaddeus meant well but knew nothing about my situation. He knew nothing about my hurt, the confusion in regards to the earlier part of the day, and the years of dread I had toward the one day of the year that used to bring me so much happiness. It was all gone, and as far as I was concerned it wasn’t coming back.

  I turned and faced Thaddeus. “What the hell do you know about my situation?” I asked angry.

  Then came the moment that changed everything.

  “Because I was one of your grandfather’s victims,” he said. “He ripped me off, and me and my family went homeless for a while.”

  I was stunned but still kept with my plight. “Then, you understand how I feel,” I said. “You hate him, too.”

  Thaddeus smiled. “I do, and I would more if I were still alive,” he said. “But I’m dead, and it doesn’t matter anymore when you‘re on this side of things..”

  My mind reeled with various possibilities. “If you don‘t mind me asking, how did you die?” I asked.

  “I killed myself,” he replied without missing a beat.

  A lump formed in my throat, as I began to draw conclusions on my own. “Was it because of my grandfather?” I asked dreadfully. “It was, wasn’t it? You killed yourself because of a the old man.”

  Thaddeus paused for a moment. “I did, or so I wanted to believe at first,” he said. “But in all reality, I was the one who held the gun to my head. I was the one who pulled the trigger.”

  “And you’re not angry at him,” I said amazed.

  “It would be easy for me to say that,” he said. “The truth is we all make our own choices in life. Things happen none of us can help, but we all make our own decisions in how we react to them. The same goes for you, Marcus Morgan. You came here to die, didn’t you?”

  I said nothing. The tears in my eyes spoke volumes for me.

  Thaddeus continued. “You don’t like Christmas anymore. Why not start liking it again? You can spend Christmas with your loved ones. I wish I had just one more day to hug my family, and I‘m jealous of you.”

  I rethought my plans. “But what if I don’t want to die now?” I asked.

  “Boy, haven’t you learned by now everyone wants death when they’re between a

  rock and a hard place?” he asked. “Everyone wants to be just like me, but the truth is when you‘re dead and stuck in limbo you want life more than anything.”

  Tears flowed down my cheek. For the first time in my life nothing was suppressed. There was no more hiding behind a barstool or numbing the pain away with the tasty concoctions of an alcoholic beverage. Everything that was in my soul came out for everyone around me to see.

  “Nothing’s the same anymore,” I said. “Even the ornament’s broken. You can’t fix everything.”

  “Are you referring to this ornament?” Thaddeus asked.

  Dear God, the ornament was whole, as though it had never shattered. Thaddeus picked it up by the restored hook and handed it to me. Then, something else happened. Christmas meant something for me. In that one little moment where nothing colossal necessarily happened, I wanted life and most of all I wanted mine.

  I smiled. “How did you fix it?” I asked amazed.

  “It’s a funny thing, Marcus,” he said. “This ornament’s a lot like forgiveness. When you hang on to the past, memories remain shattered. However, when you forgive someone, you no longer see the shattered pieces because it’s as though it was never broken to begin with.”

  I looked up again, and Thaddeus and the other spirits were gone. My grandfather was redeemed, as I forgave him in the moment, but he wasn’t the only one I forgave. I also forgave me for denying myself to love the most joyous time of the year for so many years.

  *****

  Many things changed after that night in the cemetery. I started the Samuel Morgan Toy Drive every Christmas. It was time his name meant giving back instead of something that did nothing more than brought shame and pain.

  Also, I made a valiant effort to be home for Christmas every year. It had a brand new meaning for me again and in ways I never thought possible. Like I said before, the lessons I learned about healing weren’t anything colossal. They were as simple as learning about life among the dead, how to healing among all the pain, and learning to love again through the shattered pieces of the Christmas Ornament.

  NOT THE END. ONLY THE BEGINNING.