Larger Font   Reset Font Size   Smaller Font  

Lean Mean Thirteen

Janet Evanovich


  ELEVEN

  Ranger's apartment occupies the seventh floor of the RangeMan building. It's professionally decorated in neutral earth tones and classic comfortable furniture. Its cool. Its calm. It's inviting in a mildly masculine way. The carved mahogany front door opens to a long narrow foyer. Coat closet and powder room on one side. Cherry wood cre-denza on the other. Rangers housekeeper, Ella, keeps fresh flowers on the credenza, plus a silver tray for keys and mail. Modern kitchen with stainless appliances and granite countertops to the right at the end of the hall. Breakfast bar. Small dining room. Small living room. The master bedroom suite consists of a den, a bedroom with king bed and smooth, white, thousand-thread-count sheets, a dressing room with all black clothes, and a weapons cabinet, and a luxurious bathroom with walk-in shower that smells like Ranger s Bulgari Green shower gel. Ranger electronically unlocked his apartment door and I followed him inside. He took an identical lock fob from a drawer in the credenza and gave it to me.

  “If you decide to leave, take the GPS monitor with you. Hals bringing the Cayenne back. It'll be parked downstairs with the key on the seat. It's yours for as long as you need it. I'm sure Ella has dinner in the kitchen. Help yourself. I've got a lot to do. I'm going to grab a sandwich downstairs.” He curled his fingers into my sweatshirt, dragged me to him, and kissed me. “If you want to stay up for me, I'll make it worth the wait,” he said, his lips barely touching mine when he spoke. And he was gone.

  I've lived in Ranger's apartment once before for a short time when my life was in danger. And for a short time, I worked in the RangeMan office. The building felt very safe back then, but after a while claustrophobic.

  I prowled through the kitchen and found a chicken stew with rice and vegetables. I scarfed down the stew with a glass of wine, and took a second glass into the den to watch television. I sunk into Rangers big, comfy couch and re-moted the plasma.

  Morelli's house was comfortable ground for me. It was filled with hand-me-down furniture left to him by his Aunt Ruth. It looked a lot like my parents' house, and in a strange, unexpected way, the house fit Morelli. When Morelli had time, the house was kept neat and orderly. When Morelli was overworked, the house became cluttered with abandoned shoes and empty beer bottles. Ranger s apartment felt exotic. The furniture was expensive and chosen for Ranger. Very comfortable but a little sterile. No family photos. No dog-eared books. This was a place where Ranger slept and worked and ate but didn't live.

  Morellis house was a destination for him. Ranger's apartment felt like part of his journey. I probably should have gone home, but the truth is I love visiting Ranger's apartment. It smells great… like Ranger. His television is bigger and better than mine. He has better water

  pressure in his shower. His towels are softer and fluffier. And his bed is wonderful, even when he isn't in it. Ella irons his sheets and plumps his pillows. If there's a woman out there who could make me turn, it would be Ella.

  I fell asleep in front of the television. I woke up at eleven and again at eleven-thirty. I forced myself away from the television and into the bedroom, shucked most of my clothes, and crawled into Ranger's fabulous bed.

  The alarm jolted me awake, and I had a moment of utter confusion before realizing I was at RangeMan. The room was dark, but I could see Ranger outlined against his dressing room light. He crossed the room and stood at the bedside to turn the alarm off.

  “I have an early meeting with a client this morning,” Ranger said. “And I want to talk to you before I get involved in RangeMan business. Ella has breakfast on the table.” His cell phone rang, and he left the bedroom.

  I painfully rolled out of bed, my whole body aching from the fall off the car hauler. I flipped the light on, limped across the room to Rangers closet, and shrugged into a robe that had been bought for Ranger, but I was sure had never been worn. I couldn't imagine Ranger lounging around in a robe.

  Ella was a small, slim woman with intelligent, dark eyes, short black hair, and contained energy. Ellas husband managed the property, and Ella managed the men of RangeMan. She cooked and cleaned and did whatever was necessary to get Ranger out of his apartment each morning in presentable condition. She bought his shower gel, did his laundry, ironed his orgasmic sheets, and set out fresh flowers.

  The breakfast tray she brought to his door was almost always the same. Coffee, fresh fruit, whole-grain bagels, lox, fat-free cream cheese. An egg-white frittata with vegetables. Very pretty. Very healthy. This morning, Ella had set the dining room table for two.

  Ranger ended his call and joined me at the table. He was in corporate attire. Black dress slacks, black dress shirt, black-on-black striped tie, black gun and holster. He draped a black cashmere sports coat on an empty dining room chair, then poured coffee while still standing, and sat across from me.

  “Holy cow,” I said to him. But I was thinking Holy Cow!

  “I wasn't trying for holy cow,” Ranger said. “I was shooting for respectable.” “Good luck with that one,” I told him.

  Ranger was strong inside and out. He was intelligent. He was brave. He was physically and

  emotionally agile. He was incredibly sexy. He was deceptively playful. But more than anything else, Ranger reeked of bad boy. It would take a lot more than a cashmere sports coat and an Armani tie to offset the testosterone and male pheromones that leaked out of him. I doubted Ranger would ever be entirely respectable.

  “Okay,” Ranger said. “I admit respectable was a stretch. How about successful?” “Yes,” I said. “You look very successful.”

  He helped himself to fruit and a slice of the frittata. "I'm going to make a deal with you.

  The deal is that you work with me on the Dickie thing, and you don't go off on your own.“ ”That's the deal?"

  “The alternative is that I lock you in my bathroom until I get this mess figured out.” “What about you? Are you going off on your own, without me?”

  “No. I'll include you in everything.”

  “Deal.”

  "Gorvich, Petiak, and Smullen all have legitimate addresses, but none of them spend any

  time at them. And they don't spend a lot of time at the office downtown. I had someone search the three residences, and he found nothing. No computers. No clothes in the closets. Nothing in the refrigerators. WeVe been calling their phones and only get a message service. Never a callback."

  “Lula and I went through the law firms apartment building on Jewel Street and discovered Smullen was keeping a woman on the top floor. The woman said Smullen lived there when he was in the country. He was missing in action when we got there, and his girlfriend was angry. I should check to see if he's still missing.” I took a bagel and loaded it up with cream cheese. 'Why don't these guys live in their houses?"

  “Maybe they're worried an unhappy client might come calling. I've been looking at the material you lifted from the law office. Rufus Caine paid the firm a little over a million dollars last year for legal services. I thought we might want to talk to him.”

  You couldn't be associated with crime in Trenton and not have heard of Rufus Caine. Vinnie had never bonded him out, so everything I knew was secondhand. And what I knew mostly was that he wasn't a nice guy. “Rufus Caine is middle-management pharmaceuticals. Will he talk to us?”

  “I have a relationship with Rufus. He lives and works out of a slum apartment building behind the train station. I thought we'd pay him a visit this afternoon. In the meantime, I have your FTA, Stewart Hansen, ready to go. Call the control room when you want him brought down to the garage. I'll send one of my men with you, but you probably don't want to involve RangeMan in the delivery.” Ranger finished his coffee and pushed back from the table. “I have to run.”

  Han SEN was in the backseat of a Ford Explorer, physically ankle-chained to the floor, mentally floating in La La Land. Ranger hadn't been kidding when he said they'd been keeping Hansen happy. Hard to tell if Hansen was in this euphoric state from too many episodes of Scooby Doo or too much wacky to
backy.

  I parked the Explorer in the public lot across from the courthouse and unlocked Hansen s ankle shackles. His hands were still cuffed behind his back, and I had to help him out of the SUV. Rangers guy was in the front passenger seat, looking nervous, not sure how much help he was supposed to give me and still stay politically correct.

  “I'll be back,” I told the RangeMan guy. “Don't go anywhere.”

  I maneuvered Hansen into the building, stood him in front of the docket lieutenant, and

  Hansen started giggling.

  “Shit,” the docket lieutenant said. "Last time I was that happy, I was in charge of the

  evidence room and we'd just busted a gangbanger carrying a suitcase full of medicinal weed." I completed the paperwork, got a body receipt, and called Connie and told her Hansen was

  in the lockup in case someone wanted to spring him again.

  Ranger had said he'd be busy until noon, and it was still early, so I jogged to the SUV, got

  behind the wheel, and drove to Coglin s house. Ranger had made me promise to work with

  him on the Dickie thing. He hadn't said anything about my FTAs.

  “Small detour,” I said to the RangeMan guy. “What's your name?”

  “Brett.”

  He didn't look like a Brett. Guys named Brett were supposed to have a neck. This guy

  looked like he should be named Grunt.

  I parked at the curb and had Brett follow me to the door. Brett was wearing a full utility

  belt with gun, stun gun, a can of pepper spray that could take down a grizzly, and cuffs. He

  was dressed in RangeMan SWAT, and he was scary-looking as hell. My intent was that

  Coglin would see Brett with me and keel over in a dead faint before he got to fire off the

  shotgun.

  I knew Coglin was home. I'd seen him moving in the glassed-in front porch just before I'd

  parked. I hadn't heard the car leave from the backyard, so I rang the bell and listened for the

  car. If I heard the car engine catch, I'd take off and run him down at the cross street. I rang the

  bell again.

  Brett was close behind me at the ready. “Should I break the door down?” “No,” I said. “It's probably not locked.”

  Brett stepped in front of me and tried the door handle. He pushed the door open, stepped

  inside, and bang! Brett was covered in funk and short mousy brown hairs.

  Hard to tell what the creature had been. I was guessing sixty-pound rat.

  “What the-” Brett said.

  “Its getting old,” I yelled into Coglins house. “I'll be back.”

  I led Brett to the Explorer and drove him back to Range Man.

  'What is this stuff on me?“ he asked. ”What happened?"

  “I think you might have been beavered, but there's no way to know without DNA testing.” I walked him upstairs to the control room and turned him over to Hal. Down the hall,

  Ranger stepped out of his meeting and glanced my way.

  “It wasn't my fault,” I said to Ranger.

  Ranger smiled and returned to his meeting.

  Ella brought salad and sandwiches up at noon and Ranger strolled in minutes behind her. “How'd the meeting go?” I asked him.

  “Good.”

  He selected a sandwich and ate it standing up in the kitchen. I did the same. “I notice you're dressed in RangeMan colors,” Ranger said to me.

  “Turns out I have clothes in your closet.”

  “More than just underwear and socks,” Ranger said. "They were left from the last time you

  stayed here."

  “Does that make us a couple?”

  “Spend another night with me, and I'll explain couple to you,” Ranger said. I was tempted to ask him how we'd spent last night, but thought maybe it was best not to

  know. I'd gone to bed alone, and he was up and dressed when the alarm went off. I was telling

  myself he'd slept on the couch. That was my story and I was going to go with it. He removed his tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt, and I managed to keep myself from

  dragging my tongue down his chest to his belt buckle. I conjured the image of Morelli in my

  kitchen and told myself it wouldn't be a good idea to spend another night here. Ranger disappeared into his dressing room, and when he returned, he was in cargo pants, Tshirt, and cross-trainers. His gun was clipped to his belt. He grabbed our jackets and hats from

  the coat closet. His hat said seal and mine said rangeman.

  “Let's roll,” Ranger said.

  We were in Rangers turbo, parked on Ellery, looking out at the pathetic apartment building

  where Rufus Caine conducted his business. Other buildings on the block were graffitidecorated, but Caine s building was unscathed. It was four floors of eroded redbrick and

  peeling paint trim. And the front door was missing.

  “Are you sure you want to leave the Porsche here?” I asked Ranger. "What are the chances

  it'll be here when we come back?“ ”Chances are good. Only a dealer would leave a turbo

  sitting out here in front of Caine s building. And no one wants to steal that car. No one wants

  that kind of trouble."

  We left the car and stopped at the buildings stoop. The tiny foyer was littered with used

  condoms and syringes and what I hoped was dog poo.

  Ranger scooped me up and carried me to the stairs. "This way we only have one pair of

  shoes to throw away," he said.

  We hiked to the fourth floor and Ranger knocked on the door.

  “Yeah?” came through the closed door to us. “Who's there?”

  “Ranger.”

  The door opened and a toady looked out at us. “Who's she?” he asked Ranger. Ranger didn't say anything, and the toady backed up and opened the door. There were four people in the room. Three goons and Rufus Caine. Easy to tell Rufus. He

  was the two-hundred-pound, five-foot-five guy having a midlife crisis, all decked out in

  jewelry and hair plugs. He was on the couch with a napkin daintily perched on his knee and a

  glass of champagne in his hand. There was a mound of sandwiches on a large plastic take-out

  platter on the coffee table in front of him.

  “I was having lunch,” Rufus said to Ranger. “Help yourself.”

  “I just ate,” Ranger said. “But thanks.”

  Rufus eyeballed me like I was dessert. “Who's your bitch?”

  “This is Stephanie,” Ranger said. “She's running relief for Tank.”

  “I didn't know you and Tank had that kind of relationship,” Rufus said.

  Ranger didn't smile.

  “So wassup?” Rufus asked.

  Ranger didn't say anything. He just stared at Rufus. Rufus made a little flick with his hand

  and the three idiots left the apartment.

  “Sit,” Rufus said to Ranger.

  Ranger sat, and I stood. I was the muscle in the room.

  “I'm thinking about retaining some counsel,” Ranger said. "I'm looking at Petiak, Smullen,

  Gorvich, and Orr."

  “Good firm,” Rufus said.

  “Why is it good?”

  “Discreet. Got a good business ethic.”

  “And?”

  “Understands the barter system. You sure you don't want a sandwich?”

  “I want to know more about the barter system,” Ranger said.

  “Why?”

  Ranger didn't say anything. He didn't blink. He didn't smile. He didn't sigh. He just silently

  stared at Rufus.

  “Good thing I like you,” Rufus said to Ranger, "because you could improve on your social

  skills. You're not exactly a fun guy. Anyone ever tell you that?"

  Ranger cut his eyes to me and then back to Rufus.

  “The barter system is where you trade some shit for other shit,” Rufus said. "Wait a minute.

 
; Maybe I don't mean the barter system. What is it when you say you're paying for legal advice,

  but you're really paying for inventory?"

  “Lying,” Ranger said.

  “Yeah, that's what those assholes understand… lying.”

  Ranger reached forward and took the bottle of champagne off the coffee table and refilled