Stains on the Soul, Page 2

  The expression faded to a frown before she had a chance to put any words to paper. The loud roar of Sloane’s engine echoed through the air, stopping her attempt cold. She tossed the pen back into the bag and stood. She gave a half-hearted wave as she approached the car.

  Sloane got out and walked around to her side, glancing down at his watch. “Am I late?”

  “No, Paul just decided to close early.”

  He frowned and opened the door for her. “Why didn’t you call and let me know? I would’ve come early instead of making you sit there and wait all this time.”

  She shrugged before climbing into the passenger side. “It’s no big deal. I got a chance to write a little more while I waited.” And avoid this a little longer…

  “If you’re sure.” He closed the door and walked around to his side. As he started the engine, he glanced over at her. “So what are you working on?”

  “I don’t really know yet. I just started it last night, so I’m still waiting for the characters to tell me what’s going on.”

  He smirked at her, amusement coloring his words. “I still don’t get how you do that. Any time they forced me to write something in school, I spent more time staring at a blank page than writing.”

  Fiona saw an opening and jumped at it. “Well, you’re not going to have to worry about that anymore. I doubt creative writing is a big part of the whole pre-med thing.” Now that she’d gotten the words out, her stomach fluttered as she anticipated his response.

  He turned to look out the back window and backed up. As he steered the vehicle out of the lot, he nodded. “I guess not.”

  “So, did you decide on where you’re going?”

  Sloane braked at a stop sign and glanced both ways before easing the car forward. “Not yet. Hey, are you hungry at all? I could go for a burger right now.”

  Serious talk couldn’t happen in a burger place, especially with a bunch of people sitting there. It would be humiliating for both of them. How could she tell him she’d rather be alone without giving him the wrong idea? On the other hand, being alone with him might not be the best idea, either. Potential witnesses might reduce her risk of distraction. “Sounds good to me.”

  “Cool.” He signaled another turn as silence settled between them.

  * * *

  Neither one spoke until they arrived at the burger place, a fact that set her nerves on edge even further as she considered the idea he’d purposefully changed the subject. Fiona followed him inside and took her place in line. She twirled a strand of her hair as she glanced down at the floor and considered the possibility he already knew and was choosing to pretend otherwise.

  Sloane gave her a gentle poke in the side as they approached the counter. “Want your usual?”

  His voice snapped Fiona back to the present a moment, and she smiled sheepishly at the bored-looking woman standing behind the register. “Sure.” The whole time they waited for the order, she planned out what to say. Fiona must’ve practiced at least a dozen ways to tell him it was over, but still didn’t think anything sounded right. Why can’t you be more like Steve? Now, there was a guy it might be fun to let down. Not that the creep would care. Steve was the captain of the football team and a living example of the jock stereotype. Fiona couldn’t remember the last time that guy bothered to pay attention to anyone not on the team or worshipping his prowess on the field. Guys like him were simple; he only cared about himself so you didn’t have to worry about hurting their feelings—they’d just move on to the next cute thing in a short skirt without a second thought.

  Sloane picked up their tray, and they scanned the place for a table. Fiona pointed at one in the corner that she thought was perfect. It was far enough out of the way to allow them to talk without being too private while also providing a buffer for the shouts of the workers calling out orders and the register drawers slamming. He followed her to the table and sat down across from her, handing her the burger she’d ordered.

  “Thanks.” She unwrapped the burger and took a bite, trying to psyche herself up. It’s now or never… “So, what was it we were talking about?”

  He took a bite of his own food and washed it down with a swig of soda before answering, “Oh, right. We were talking about writing and the fact I can’t do it.”

  She laughed. “That’s right.” She paused a minute, then let her eyes light up as if she’d just remembered. “Oh, yeah…we were also talking about going off to school. Can you believe we’re gonna be leaving in a few months? I barely started packing yet, but it still feels weird to see some of my stuff in boxes.”

  “I’ll bet.” He swallowed some more soda and glanced at her. “Ya know, you’re not going that far away.”

  “Across the state,” she reminded him. “Several hours away…not that I mind. It’s kind of exciting. For the first time in my life, I have absolutely no idea what next year is going to be like…what kind of people I’ll be meeting.” Hint, hint…

  “True. I guess I haven’t thought too much about it yet.” He reached over the table and took her hand. “I’ve been having too much fun to worry about that.”

  She shifted in her seat as his hand touched hers. Say it already. Fiona wanted to tell him it was time to ease off, that she didn’t believe in doing the long-distance thing. It was such a simple thing; why couldn’t she get the words out? “I’ve been having fun too.” Why did I just say that? For some unknown reason, the look in his eyes caused her brain to reject logic. All Fiona knew was that it had to happen sooner or later. Preferably sooner.

  Chapter Three

  Fiona trudged toward the stairs, mentally fuming about her lack of courage. She liked the guy, but it became clearer by the day that this wasn’t going to work. Still, he continued to have this strange hold over her that made it impossible to get the words out. At this rate, I may as well wait until I leave and then stop writing him. It would probably work a lot better than this. The second the words came to mind, a sinking sensation radiated through her stomach and caused her breath to hitch. Okay, okay…. Point taken. There was a way to deal with this situation, and avoidance wasn’t it. She just had to figure out how to get past this block, whatever it was.

  “Fiona, is that you?”

  Her sister’s voice carried through the house, causing Fiona to pause at the bottom of the staircase. “Yeah, I’m here. What’s up?” She closed her eyes, listening for her sister’s response.

  “Shannon’s on the phone for you.”

  She walked into the kitchen and, sure enough, she found Rebecca standing by the fridge with a receiver in her hand. “Thanks.” Fiona took the receiver. “Shan? What’s going on?” She couldn’t help smiling as Rebecca turned her attention back to the fridge. She watched as her sister searched the full appliance, no doubt unable to choose a snack—it happened every afternoon.

  “Please tell you me you didn’t forget.” A trace of annoyance colored her friend’s words.

  Fiona placed her hand over the mouthpiece and cursed under her breath as she turned away from the search playing out a couple feet away. Between the dreams, her paralysis with Sloane, and now this, Fiona was amazed she remembered to breathe each day. Maybe I’m not getting enough caffeine. “Of course I didn’t.”

  “You are going to the party tonight, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, but I just got home, so you guys can go ahead without me. I’ll meet you later on.” The fridge door slammed behind her, and Rebecca swept past carrying a bag of chips. Fiona frowned and hoped there’d be some left over later.

  “Are you sure? We can always be fashionably late; maybe it’ll make an impression on Steve.”

  “Yeah, right. Are you serious? That guy’s never noticed anything not wearing a cheerleader outfit and holding a megaphone.” She hated to be so blunt about it, but it was the truth. She and their friend Amy had been trying to get that message across since last year when he stood Shannon up for Homecoming. Sadly, Shannon didn’t seem to care. As much as Fiona loved her frien
d, she seriously questioned her sanity sometimes.

  “He’s not that bad,” Shannon argued. “Most people don’t understand him; he’s one of those complicated types.”

  That didn’t sound like a ringing endorsement to her, but Fiona wasn’t about to say so. She decided the best way to handle her friend’s romantic life was to stay out of it. She was just in the middle of trying to devise a graceful way to change the subject when she was sent a savior: her mother. The woman struggled to open their back door while balancing several grocery bags in her arms. “Hey, Shannon… I have to go. My mom needs some help with the groceries. I promise I’ll be there though.”

  “You’d better!”

  Fiona laughed at the threatening tone in her friend’s voice. “Promise.” She hung up the phone and hurried to the door. She opened it and took some of the bags from her mom.

  “Thanks, sweetie. Who was that on the phone?”

  “Oh, it was just Shannon. She just wanted to make sure I’m going to that party tonight.”

  Her mother’s eyes lit up at the mention of a party as she set her bags down on the counter and began putting boxes and cans in the cabinet. “That’s good. Whose house is it at?”

  “Jeremy’s.”

  Her mother’s face darkened as she closed the cabinet door. “I guess I should’ve known the answer to that.”

  Fiona could see the beginning of another rant on how spoiled and rude Jeremy was, so she put the last of the veggies in the fridge and closed the door before giving her mother a hug. “I better hurry or I’ll be late. See you later!” She rushed out of the kitchen, retreating to the safety of her room.

  As she started getting ready for the evening, a vague sense of dread began to creep into her stomach. It was similar to what she called her “gut check”, but more intense. A part of her was terrified of going, and she couldn’t figure out why. Her best friends were going and they always had a great time. Plus, it was at the home of one of the richest kids in town, who spared no expense showing everyone a good time. There was a strong possibility of live music and movies in the home’s theater room—two of her favorite things. So why was a knot forming in her stomach just thinking about attending?

  Fiona took a deep breath and willed the rising panic inside away. She almost laughed; it was so ridiculous. Why should she be afraid of going somewhere she’d been a million times before? Still, she wondered if this was such a good idea. Her gut hadn’t failed her often, so she had no reason to think it would now. She shook her head. This is stupid. What are you going to say—you’re scared to go out? The worst that could happen was getting a minor headache from the noise of the band. She changed her clothes and went downstairs, calling out her goodbyes to her family before slipping out the front door.

  Every step she took toward her car caused the knot in her stomach to grow larger. Fiona climbed inside, pausing to collect herself before starting the engine. She took one deep, cleansing breath after another and reminded herself it was just another party. Once her seatbelt was secured over her chest, she glanced down and was surprised to note her knuckles were white. “I’m turning into such a head case,” she muttered as she started the car and pulled out of the driveway. 

  Chapter Four

  Hours later, Fiona wondered why she’d been so worried. Jeremy Richards’s party turned out to be a hit, except for an awkward moment when Shannon tried to talk to Mr. Quarterback. He, as usual, didn’t even notice she was there. It was a sad display, but she and Amy managed to get the poor girl’s mind off the rejection. They made their way out to the pool in the backyard to hang out. The sounds of a local band mixed with laughter and chit-chat filled the air, while the smells of catered treats tempted Fiona’s taste buds. She contemplated getting some sweets, but her full stomach protested with a painful twinge. Jeremy had made sure there was enough food on hand to prevent anyone from leaving his house without putting on about ten pounds, and she enjoyed every bite. She watched as some of the guests splashed in the pool, creating as much noise as the band. She was so engrossed in what was going on around her it took her a moment to register someone was talking to her. “I’m sorry?”

  “I said ‘how’d it go with Sloane?’” Amy’s voice rose as she narrowed her eyes. She tucked a strand of short, frizzy blond hair behind her ear, showing off her tiger’s eye earring—she never went anywhere without one of her many stones and gems.

  “It didn’t.” Fiona bit her lip, averting her gaze. She and Amy had known each other as long as Fiona could remember, and sometimes Amy felt more like her older sister than her friend, especially when she got that tone in her voice.

  “Fiona!” Shannon’s long, black ponytail swayed as she shook her head, “are you kidding me? Why not?” She folded her long, slender arms over her new designer swimsuit.

  Fiona cringed as she looked from one pair of accusing eyes to another. With their taller frames, the effect was even more unsettling. She felt like a small child with disapproving teachers glaring down at her. Despite the fact she’d only known Shannon for a few years now, the girl seemed to know her as well as Amy did and was even less shy about calling Fiona out when needed. “I know, I know. I really need to just break it off already. I just can’t seem to do it, and I can’t figure out why. It’s like the guy put some kind of voodoo on me. Every time I try to do it, he gets this look in his eyes that makes me forget what I was going to say.”

  Fiona looked down at the water, cautiously dipping a toe into the liquid. Satisfied with the temperature, she submerged her whole foot. She sighed, moving it in a circular motion. That is so weak...

  “Maybe you really don’t want to.”

  Fiona turned her attention to Amy, her eyes wide. “You did not just say that.”

  Amy held her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Hey, I’m just suggesting a possibility here.”

  “Fair enough.” Fiona glanced over at Shannon. “And what do you think?”

  “I think if you two don’t quiet down, you won’t need to say a word about breaking up with him—one of them will overhear and beat you to it.” Shannon nodded to the deep end of the pool.

  Fiona followed Shannon’s gaze and saw Jeremy and a small group of friends looking at them. She only let her eyes settle on them for a second before fixing her gaze elsewhere. She leaned closer to her friends, pretending to point out an odd-shaped cloud. “You’re right. We’ll talk about this later.” The thought of Sloane hearing she wanted to break up through the rumor-mill instead of from her caused her skin to crawl. That group was worse than a Hollywood gossip rag.

  * * *

  The three friends spent the rest of the evening talking about what schools they were going to and what they wanted to study…much safer topics than Fiona’s love life, or impending lack of one. Amy even managed to get Fiona to go all the way in the pool, much to Shannon’s—and Fiona’s—surprise.

  Around midnight, Fiona climbed out of the pool and dried off. She yawned as she wrapped the towel around herself before rubbing her aching legs. She supposed that was what she got for letting them talk her into swimming even though she wasn’t used to it. “Guys, I’m beat. Maybe we should go.”

  “Fine with me.” Shannon followed suit and squeezed the water out of her hair. She glanced around, motioning to Amy. “Come on!”

  “I’m coming…chill a minute.” Amy climbed out and grabbed her own towel, drying herself off as much as possible.

  As the small group made their way to the door, a familiar—and loud—voice carried through the yard. “Hey, wait up!”

  Fiona turned around to see their host making his way through the crowd. She and her friends exchanged a curious look as they waited for him to catch up.

  “You girls weren’t going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?”

  Fiona couldn’t help smiling at that. “What are you talking about? We always do; you’re too busy to notice most of the time.”

  “Well, I did this time. Actually…there is a reaso
n I stopped you.” His tone turned conspiratorial as he leaned closer to them.

  Shannon smirked, her hands placed firmly on her hips and a knowing tone in her voice. “What do you want, Jer?”

  Jeremy turned toward Shannon and gave her a nasty look. “And what makes you think I want anything?”

  “Because you usually do,” Amy chimed in.

  He rolled his eyes. “Okay, you got me. Fiona, it’s actually you I wanted to talk to.”

  “Why me?” She crossed her arms and stood a bit taller, guilt rising inside as she remembered him and his buddies watching them talk earlier. Had he overheard after all?

  “I want to introduce you to somebody.” He held his hands up in a defensive posture. “I know what you’re thinking, but I promise I didn’t have anything to do with it. He saw you and he practically forced me to stop you. If I don’t at least get him an introduction, he’s never going to let me forget it.”

  “I don’t know…” Fiona looked from Amy to Shannon, begging for an out with her eyes.

  “What can it hurt, Fi? Just meet the guy.” Amy glanced around the yard. “Where is he?”

  If she wasn’t my best friend… Fiona knew when she was beat. She threw her hands up in surrender. “Okay, fine. I’ll meet him, but that’s it!” As soon as the words left her lips, a sinking feeling in her stomach hit her hard. Pressure built in her chest, and she was overcome with a yearning to get out of there as fast as possible. The only thing keeping her feet planted on the fresh-cut grass was the desire to avoid looking like a complete fool.

  “Great! Wait here, I’ll be right back.” Jeremy turned and walked back to the small group Fiona had seen earlier.

  Jeremy kneeled beside the pool and spoke to a guy Fiona didn’t recognize. She tried to get a good look at him, but other party-goers standing in the way prevented her from getting a clear view. She turned toward her so-called friends and glared. “Thanks for the backup. I really appreciate it.”

  “Really, Fiona, you need to relax.” Amy kept her voice low as she moved closer. “You know Jeremy; he’s not going to ease up until you at least meet this mystery guy. Why fight it?”