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    Be Bulletproof

    Page 28
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      62 Haidt, Jonathan, The Happiness Hypothesis (Arrow Books, 2006)

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      INDEX

      The page references in this index correspond to the printed edition from which this ebook was created. To find a specific word or phrase from the index, please use the search feature of your ebook reader.

      ‘about-me’ thinking error 78, 262

      addiction counselling 63

      ‘advocate-for-your-success’ 105–6, 120, 248, 263

      ‘alchemists’ 136

      alcohol 229

      amygdala 11

      Analyze This 146

      Ancelotti, Carlo 162

      ancient Greeks 53

      anger 35, 102, 182

      adaptive role 137

      increased through expression 126, 146

      anxiety 17, 21, 26, 67, 102, 116, 119, 227

      asking for advice 73, 193, 195

      assailants

      asking for advice 193, 195

      negative emotions towards reduced by benefit finding 147

      outflanking 62–4, 244

      seeing their point of view 127, 142–3, 174–5, 191

      showing concern for 60–2, 244

      assumptions

      if … then 188–9

      universalising 111–13

      audiences

      create allies 73–4, 245

      emphasise shared values 52–4, 243

      using stories 54–6, 243

      Bandura, Albert 166–7

      Barry Manilow experiment 30, 78

      Beck, Aaron 17

      behaviour

      changing yours, not your bosses 78–80

      (incident–)thought–feeling–behaviour cycle 18–21, 188–9

      not rewarding undesirable 87–8

      benefit finding 147, 252, 262, 263

      Benjamin Franklin effect 73–4, 95

      bereavement 236

      body

      beneficial effects of meditation 233

      feedback systems 135, 206

      and mind 20, 225–31, 258

      physiological responses 66–7, 137, 146, 218

      ‘specific action tendencies’ 102

      body language 62

      and feelings 230–1

      Borkenau, Peter 225

      Borton, Jennifer 24

      bosses see toxic bosses

      Botting, Misha 164–5

      brain

      effects of meditation 233

      instructions from muscles and organs 227

      ‘sled-run’ effect of thoughts 70–1

      warning signals 144

      Branson, Richard 38

      breath and breathing 20, 43–5, 47, 87

      breathing back confidence 72

      relaxation exercise 228–9

      ‘broaden and build’ 103

      bullshit 175–80, 255

      Bush, George Snr 45

      buying time 48–9

      car collision experiment 157

      Casey, Elizabeth 24

      challenge 94, 166

      choosing your battles 35–8, 241–2

      with bosses 81

      Cialdini, Robert 64–5

      cigarettes 229

      claustrophobia 210

      Clinton, Bill 45–6

      coercion 55

      cognitive behavioural psychology (CBT) 3, 17–18, 137

      putting into practice 18–21

      cognitive dissonance 74

      collaboration 172, 173

      commitment 93–4, 166, 263

      communication

      Jujitsu 39–74

      psychology of 3

      with toxic bosses 86–90

      complaint situations 62–3

      compliments, third-party technique 196, 256

      confabulation 211–12

      confidence

      drawing on different levels 68–72, 245

      and interpretation of autonomic responses 67

      and posture 227

      ‘ten moments’ 71–2, 73, 145

      to be vulnerable 192–4, 255–6

      conflict resolution 172

      context

      power of 57–8, 243

      setting when giving feedback 211–13, 257

      control 263

      and choice 91–2

      over evaluating feedback 139–42

      over relationships with your boss 93–5, 247

      Three Cs 93, 166

      Core Group (in-crowd) 184–7, 255

      cortisol 69, 90–1, 135, 151, 230, 231

      criticism

      decontaminating 135–9, 251–2

      turning round 40–3, 242

      Culbert, Samuel 177

      customer service situations 47, 53

      cynical hostility, and cardiac problems 225

      Damasio, Antonio 226

      de-catastrophising 153–5, 254

      ‘advocate-for-your-success’ 106

      defensive externalism 137, 161–2

      ‘defensiveness’ 40–1

      Demichelis, Bruno 162

      depression 17, 102, 191, 232, 234

      disassociation 138–9

      ‘dispositional’ feedback 216–17

      distraction vs. rumination 231–3, 259

      don’t make ‘no’ mean more than it does 109–10, 249

      Douglas, Julie 22–3, 164, 218

      ‘down-to-me’ versus ‘not-down-to-me’ test 113–15, 249

      Dragon’s Den 65–6

      Dweck, Carol 5

      elevation 201–3, 256, 262

      emotional intelligence 81–2, 86

      emotions and feelings

      and body language 230–1

      cave-dweller 9

      in communication 53–4

      dispassionate observation 21, 44, 77, 158

      distancing from 182–3

      distinguishing from facts 127

      feeling with our body 226–7

      importance for functioning 158–9

      (incident–)thought–feeling–behaviour cycle 18–21, 188–9

      naming 159–60, 253

      positive 102–4

      and ‘specific-action tendencies’ 102

      switching on 103, 248

      watching them drift 138, 162–3

      empathy 52–3, 95

      Enron debacle 5

      EVA (Empathy, Values, Action) 53–4, 243

      evolution, and feedback 206

      evolutionary inheritance 7, 8–9, 14, 26, 36, 69, 84, 91, 172, 181

      timescale, football pitch analogy 11

      see also inner cave man

      facts, separating from stories 107–9, 127, 152, 154, 189, 193,
    249

      failures and setback 149–68

      fairness

      being flexible about 84–6, 182–3, 246

      expectations of 84–5, 181–2

      fake it until you make it 230–1, 258

      FaN (Factual and Neutral) descriptions 156–8, 253

      fear-of-less motivation 115–6, 122, 173

      feedback, delivering 205–24

      clear requests 219–21, 258

      describe the gap 214–16, 257

      permission to be straight and direct 208–10, 257

     


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