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    Orpheus Emerged

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      Michael was sobbing with his face in his

      hands. “Michael!” cried Leo, with a look of

      consternation. “Now you’ve done it! You’re

      so drunk you can’t control yourself. I think

      I’d better take you home!” He put his hand

      on Michael’s shivering shoulder, but the

      other shook him off petulantly and contin-

      ued to sob.

      “Good Lord!” exclaimed Leo in some

      embarrassment. He stole a glance down the

      length of the bar to see if anyone was watch-

      ing this little scene. “Stop being a baby, will

      you?” Then he began to laugh nervously.

      “General lacrimae rerum is it? Is that why

      you’re crying, the tears of things? My God,

      you’re making a spectacle of yourself—some

      people are beginning to watch you. Stop it,

      Michael…”

      Michael didn’t seem to hear what Leo

      was saying.

      Leo curled his lip a bit scornfully: “You

      fool,” he said. “Stop being a pampered baby.

      I’ve never seen such stickish weakness,

      such drunkenness. It’s not like you at all;

      when I first knew you—”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 192

      “Good Lord!”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 193

      But Michael went on sobbing, with his

      face hidden in his trembling hands.

      “Everybody’s looking at you now,” Leo

      whispered. “Stop it! And do you think

      they’re sympathizing with you? Not on your

      life!! If you think that, you’re certainly a psy-

      chotic case—you’re just a foolish spectacle,

      that’s about all…”

      Leo began to be very embarrassed, sit-

      ting there with a man who wept into his

      hands like a woman. He picked up his

      books tentatively.

      “Well,” he said, after a pause. “I’m going

      now. You’d better stop this or they’ll throw

      you out. Come, now, aren’t you ever going

      to stop.” Leo rose from his seat. “I’m going

      now, Michael. Good-bye, Michael.”

      Michael didn’t answer.

      Leo hesitated another moment or two

      and then, bestowing a nervous pat on

      Michael’s quivering shoulder, he walked

      away somewhat self-consciously. A man

      was standing near the door as Leo

      approached it.

      He took Leo’s arm.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 194

      “What’s the mat-

      ter with him

      over there, that

      fellow you were

      sitting with

      who’s crying?

      Hey? Has someone

      stolen his lol-

      lipop, his itsy-

      bitsy lollipop?

      Hey? Is that

      it...”

      Leo didn’t answer, and, disengaging himself

      from the man’s grip, went out the door.

      “That’s what it is, isn’t it?” the man called

      after him, and turned back to watch

      Michael, laughing and shaking his head.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 195

      VII

      WALKING ALONG

      THE BOULEVARD,

      Paul was trying to decide where he

      should go in order to find Michael.

      Suddenly, he realized that he must go to

      his room. Would Michael be there? Most

      likely. And if not—it was time to go there

      in any event, and tidy up the room a bit,

      and perhaps pay another week’s rent in

      advance. Paul still had some of the

      money that Michael had given him the

      night of the party; he hadn’t spent much

      during his week in the country.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 197

      Although Michael had heretofore never

      visited Paul’s room, perhaps he would be

      there now, tonight. He might also be in some

      bar getting drunk, a habit of his when things

      went wrong. Paul decided to go to his room

      first.

      It was raining harder as he turned up M

      street and strode along beneath the dripping

      street lamp. Yes—Michael might want to talk

      to him at last, of that Paul was almost certain.

      With a mounting feeling of certainty, Paul

      hurried to his gate and descended the stone

      steps. Surely enough, the oil lamp was burn-

      ing in his room, its yellow light fell feebly on

      the dark puddles outside from underneath

      the drawn shade.

      Paul hastened along the damp hallway

      and flung open his door.

      “Helen!” he cried with joyous wonder.

      A tall dark-haired girl stood in the center

      of the room. She smiled and held out her

      hands.

      Paul, all beside himself with excitement,

      ran up to Helen and stopped just short of her

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 198

      outstretched hands. He teetered there for a

      moment, looking incredulously into her face;

      then, with a sighing smile, he dropped down

      on his knees and took both of her hands in

      his and began to kiss them over and over

      again.

      “Get off your knees,” Helen cried, blush-

      ing. “Don’t be a fool.”

      “Helen darling! Helen darling! I knew I

      had to come here—I felt it! When did you

      arrive here?”

      “Just a few minutes ago,” she replied.

      “Please get off your knees,” and she blushed

      again charmingly.

      Paul rose and led Helen to the couch.

      Sitting her down slowly, and sitting beside

      her, he kissed her reverently on the brow,

      and then buried his face in her hair.

      “You’ve come at last,” he whispered. “It’s

      been so long. But I knew you’d come. Oh,

      God! I’m so happy, so damned happy! Look!”

      he cried suddenly, jumping up from the

      couch and pointing to a pile of books on the

      table. “Guess what? I’ve been studying and

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 199

      learning all the while, and I’ve met all sorts

      of intelligent students, friends of Michael’s.”

      “Have you really been happy?”

      “No! No! That, to say that, is to defame

      this moment… Now I’m happy. Oh Helen,”

      he cried, changing his tone again impul-

      sively, and dropping on the couch beside

      her. “Now that you’ve come, now that

      you’ve come…it will all be over! Say that it

      will!”

      “We’ll wait,” she said slowly.

      “Wait? Wait? For what?… For Michael?

      He never comes here; he hasn’t once come

      to my room. Only once he spoke a friendly

      word, the night of a party to which I wasn’t

      invited, and he wanted to know if I was

      going to come anyway. I thought that was

      the moment then, but nothing happened.

      And later that night, he gave me money—he

      still has all that money left he took with

      him—but he gave it to me scornfully.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 200

      Helen,
    it’s got

      to stop; it’s

      got to happen

      some time!”

      “He’ll come here tonight,” Helen said.

      “He may not.”

      “We’ll wait here for him.”

      “But how can you be sure? Do you feel it,

      Helen?”

      She was silent.

      Paul got up and began to stride around

      the room impatiently. Coming back to

      Helen, he fell on his knees again and began

      to kiss her wrists feverishly. “I don’t know,”

      he said, looking up at her fearfully, his face

      distorted in the lamplight. “I don’t know,

      Helen darling…”

      “Well,” Helen assured him, stroking his

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 201

      hair, “I do.”

      Paul now lapsed into an ecstatic silence.

      Then he jumped up again and went over to

      the table. “All these books,” he said proud-

      ly. Then, taking out a sheaf of papers from

      his pockets, he threw them on the table.

      “And these are some of his writings. I think

      I understand most of them—I criticized

      them to Leo this afternoon.”

      “Who’s Leo?”

      “A very brilliant student we know here at

      Custos Nostrom University, one of my

      friends.”

      “And what have you been doing for a liv-

      ing?” Helen asked. “Give me those papers

      so I can look at them.” Paul brought the

      papers over. He looked down at his shoes

      and chuckled. “Well,” he said warily, “I

      started out all right, when I first got here. I

      had a job running an elevator, up and down,

      the little children coming home from school

      at noon, the old ladies with their dogs, the

      old gentlemen going out for their constitu-

      tionals, some of them retired savants…”

      “And?” Helen persisted.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 202

      “Well, after a while, I was so busy, I had

      to quit.”

      “Busy at what?”

      “Well, helping Anthony among other

      things—he’s another wonderful friend of

      mine, a drunkard but a wonderful soul—

      and attending classes. Did I tell you? I

      attended classes like a regular student for

      awhile, until one day the Professor had to

      put me out because I got mad over a theory

      that Arthur was propounding. Arthur is

      another friend of mine, a bit of a poet.”

      “Then what did you do for a living, after

      you quit your job?”

      Paul looked at Helen. “As I say… You

      know, he gave me money.”

      Helen shrugged her shoulders.

      “And why not?” Paul wanted to know.

      “But now!” he added triumphantly, “Now

      you’re here, and it will be all over at last,

      won’t it?”

      “I hope so,” Helen whispered. “Come, sit

      with me some more. Kiss me, you fool—you

      haven’t kissed me on the mouth yet.”

      Paul ran laughing to Helen and kissed

      her.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 203

      “We’ll go

      back,” he whis-

      pered savagely,

      “we’ll go back

      and bask by the

      river bank,

      won’t we? And

      you’ll pre-

      pare lunches...”

      “Oh,” Helen

      said, laughing,

      “I hate pic-

      nics. You and

      your picnics!”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 204

      “And I’ve thought of all kinds of wonder-

      ful new ideas. Here’s what I’d like us to do.

      We’ll spend the whole summer going

      around in our bare feet, somewhere among

      the pine trees, not far from the surf. I want

      to be up in the morning when the first ray of

      dawn makes the top of the pines crack!

      And—”

      “All right,” Helen interrupted happily,

      “that’s enough of your dreaming for now.”

      “As though these things were impossi-

      ble!” Paul cried wrathfully. “Who?” he

      asked. “Who is going to tell me it’s impossi-

      ble! Are you like those other people, like

      Michael—afraid of being happy?”

      “You’re talking gibberish,” Helen

      mocked, pulling at Paul’s sleeve playfully.

      “Don’t get mad!”

      “I am mad!” Paul cried. He paced the

      room. “I want to know where all this

      meanness of spirit comes from—the world’s

      crazy!” He went over to the table and

      banged it. Then, changing his attitude

      again in the flicker of a moment, he came

      back to Helen and buried his face in her

      hair. “Do you really think he’s coming?”

      “I think so, yes.”

      “You know, he hasn’t changed much—

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 205

      he’s the same as when he left, only perhaps

      worse. He’s more miserable than ever. He

      tried to hit me with a floor lamp one night.

      Helen, this can’t go on.” They were silent,

      and they could hear the wind blow outside,

      and the rain spatter into the street.

      “Would you like a sandwich?” Paul asked.

      “No, not yet. And your bread is all mouldy.

      Let’s lie down and wait.”

      Helen and Paul embraced each other,

      with both their heads on the same pillow,

      and in a few moments, Paul was dozing fit-

      fully. Helen was watching him sadly. After

      several minutes of droning rain-sounds,

      Helen heard a step in the hall; there was a

      knock on the door. Paul jumped up, startled

      out of a half dream. He went to the door and

      opened it. Leo was standing in the hall.

      “Ah, here you are,” Leo said.

      Paul said coldly, “Well?”

      “I’ve been looking for you,” Leo began

      uncertainly, in the face of Paul’s morose

      reception. “I’m on my way to my room to

      study, and…well, I just wanted to tell you

      that Michael is in the Boulevard Bar, very

      drunk, and he’s weeping and making a com-

      plete show of himself…”

      “Weeping?” Paul cried anxiously. “Why?”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 206

      “I don’t know,” said Leo. “He’s just drunk,

      that’s all, and he looks as though he were com-

      ing down with an illness or something—”

      Helen came to the door and looked at

      Leo. The latter was startled out of his wits,

      but not quite enough to lose control of the

      situation.

      “Why,” he said politely, “how do you do?”

      “This is Leo, Helen,” Paul said sullenly.

      “Leo, Helen.”

      Leo bowed from the waist.

      “Goodbye,” said Paul, and closed the

      door in the other’s face. “Now,” he said,

      turning to Helen, “what are we going to do?

      Did you hear what he just said? — Michael’s

      sick, and drunk, and he’s crying in the bar.

     
    I knew all this business would break him in

      time—just today he was cast out of his com-

      fortable little nook with a woman old

      enough to be his mother.”

      Helen went over to the table and stood by

      it reflectively. “What were you saying about

      a woman?” she asked presently.

      “He was living with Maureen. Then,

      when she found out of another affair, she

      threw him out.. And the other girl doesn’t

      want Michael, and he, like a fool, is taking

      everything seriously. Oh! He has done so

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 207

      many stupid things lately, I’m ashamed of

      myself!” Paul sat on the couch. Again he

      asked, “What are we going to do?”

      “Do? We’ll just wait.” Helen sat down

      beside him.

      “I don’t see your logic!” Paul cried impa-

      tiently.

      “There’s no logic involved in it,” Helen

      replied calmly. “Let’s lie down and wait

      some more. Get some sleep; you look fear-

      fully worn out.”

      Paul smiled tenderly. “Oh Helen,” he

      said, “if you only knew how much I love

      you, if only! All right, I won’t be a pest. I’ll

      be quiet, and we’ll wait. Everything’ll be all

      right, won’t it?”

      “Yes, Paul.”

      Paul stretched out on the couch and

      placed his head in her bosom. “I’m going to

      sleep, yes,” he told her. “When I wake up, it

      will be all over, and we’ll be together and in

      love, like before… Helen, do you think that

      Michael’s change will affect us?… do you

      think it will be different?”

      “Perhaps.”

      “He wanted to be an artist,” Paul said

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 208

      sadly, “and he left. It won’t be the same man

      any more,” he added gloomily.

      “It might be a better man,” Helen said, “if

      only…he will come.”

      They again fell into a long, peaceful

      silence. Helen was stroking Paul’s hair; her

      own long dark hair had disengaged itself

      and fallen loosely over her cheek. She

      watched Paul, as he began to fall asleep,

      and stroked his hair…for a long time…and

      waited. The rain drummed on the window.

      “Call our secret call from where you are,”

      she whispered softly, so as not to waken

      Paul, who was now asleep, “and I shall call

     


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