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    Orpheus Emerged

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      know what a spectacle you all make of your-

      selves? You and that Julius…”

      “What on earth are you talking about?”

      Marie inquired.

      “You know damned well what I’m talking

      about, but that’s beside the point I suppose

      in that damned pattern of yours!”

      “Pattern?”

      “Ha ha ha!” shouted Paul again from his

      chair.

      Michael gave him a seething look. Paul

      put in quickly, “I know what you’re thinking!

      Traitor! Traitor! Oh, what a joke that one is!

      By the way, did you know that I stole your

      poetry today?”

      Michael didn’t seem to have heard, or if

      he had, he didn’t seem to care.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 174

      Paul took out some papers and waved them

      at Michael. “Shall I read you some excerpts,

      hey?”

      “To hell with all of you!” Michael said grim-

      ly. “I’m wasting my time here.” And suddenly

      he had hurried to the door, and they heard it

      open and slam hard.

      “Don’t get lost in your corridor!” Paul yelled

      after him, jumping up from his chair and going

      to the door. A moment later he was back, and

      sat down in his chair and started to laugh.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 175

      Marie walked towards him and stopped

      to look down at him.

      “You can be very mean,” she said. “Do

      you know that?”

      “I’m talented,” Paul said.

      “Hmm.”

      Arthur was standing indecisively. It had

      begun to rain steadily outside, and the win-

      dow drummed and rattled in the wind.

      “It seems super-

      fluous to have

      to be mean to a

      person who does-

      n’t know how to

      be happy,” Marie

      went on.

      Paul looked up at her, surprised. “You think

      that of Michael, that he can’t be happy?”

      “He doesn’t know how. We were miser-

      able in the Quarter.”

      “And as for myself? Do I know how to be

      happy?”

      “Yes.”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 176

      “It’s interesting that you should know

      that,” Paul said quickly.

      “Just why?”

      “That is the main point about Michael,”

      Paul rushed on. “He himself thinks other-

      wise, I mean as to the point: he’s always

      preoccupied with his so-called amorality,

      and just because of that simple fact, he’s not

      amoral—but he doesn’t know that, does he?

      No, the point about Michael is rather that he

      doesn’t know how to be happy.”

      “Well,” Arthur ventured, as he moved

      towards the door. “I think I’ll be going now,

      to dinner. Is anyone going to dinner?”

      “Not now,” Marie said.

      “Well, good night,” said Arthur, and went

      out.

      “Arthur’s a nice fellow,” Paul said dreami-

      ly, “but he takes Michael much too seriously.”

      They were silent as the rain and wind

      beleaguered the windowpane.

      “Did you enjoy your escapade?” Paul

      inquired at length as he lit himself a ciga-

      rette.

      “Not too much.”

      “Does Michael’s inferiority complex

      annoy you?”

      “It did.”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 177

      “Would you do it

      again?”

      “Perhaps—but not

      with him. It was

      somewhat pleasant,

      though.”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 178

      “You’re a strange girl, Marie; way beyond

      my comprehension, too.”

      Marie laughed scornfully and turned on

      the radio.

      “Good-bye,” said Paul, getting up from

      the chair. “I wish you could meet Helen

      when she comes here some day. You’re the

      nearest thing to Helen I’ve seen in my life.”

      “Is that a compliment?”

      “It’s by way of being a compliment from

      both Michael and myself.”

      “Oh?”

      Paul laughed nervously. “I’ll bet you’re

      thinking of me as a little fool. Well enough,

      I don’t care: it doesn’t bother me. Good-bye,

      Marie.”

      Marie nodded and Paul went out.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 179

      VI

      MICHAEL, ON

      THE STREET

      outside of Marie’s apartment, huddled

      up in his coat and turned up the collar to

      the rain. He started to walk, hardly car-

      ing in what directions his footsteps took

      him. But a vague idea was forming in

      the back of his mind, and he began to

      hurry towards the Boulevard Bar.

      Three men were coming down the

      sidewalk in Michael’s direction. They

      wore raincoats and were shouting and

      singing in a carefree manner. As they

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 181

      approached Michael, they formed a wedge

      in the center of the sidewalk and were quiet.

      Michael, intent on his destination, and with

      his head lowered against the driving rain,

      walked straight up to them expecting in any

      event that they would make room for him,

      since they occupied the entire sidewalk.

      But they did not separate, and one of them

      suddenly waved his arms and began yelling,

      “Out of my way! Out of my way, everybody!”

      And saying this, he bumped directly into

      Michael, pushed him aside violently with

      his elbow, and paused to stare at him ques-

      tioningly, with a look of stupefaction on his

      face. The other two men began to laugh.

      Michael registered only mild astonishment,

      since he was so preoccupied with his anger

      against Marie and Paul, and it hardly

      occurred to him that his person was being

      insulted—at least, for the moment.

      The three men laughed as Michael shuf-

      fled on in the rain.

      And just as Michael reached the top of

      the street and was turning into the boule-

      vard, he heard the men shouting, followed

      by the shattering of glass.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 182

      He turned in

      time to see the

      three men,

      laughing uproar-

      iously, run away

      from the street

      level window of

      an apartment

      house that they

      had just broken

      with a volley of

      rocks.

      Michael stopped, stunned and fright-

      ened. Then he hurried on up the boulevard

      towards the bar and walked in quickly. It

      was warm and cheery in the bar, and the

      place was already filling up despite the din-

      ner hour. Michael sat at a table in the cor-

      ner, flapped off the rain from his coat collar,

      and ordered pernod and water. He l
    ooked

      at his hand and it was trembling violently.

      When his drinks came, he drank up quickly

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 183

      and began to shiver and tremble all over.

      The seaman who had bought Anthony

      drinks a week ago was standing at the bar

      talking to two men. He was very drunk

      again, and occasionally he would totter and

      almost fall on his back.

      “Someday,” he was crying thickly—and so

      loudly that the bartenders were looking at each

      other with significance—“someday I’m going to

      walk into a rich man’s house, with my dirty boots

      covered with mud, and with a gun, I’ll shoot

      everything down, the rich man, the paintings on

      the wall, the expensive vases, the draperies…

      Gentlemen,” he went on ponderously, reeling

      back against another man who was just then

      crossing the room, “I shall bring his house down

      upon his head.”

      The man into whom the drunken sea-

      man had reeled now gave a violent push, for

      he too was drunk, and was annoyed that

      someone should reel against him. The sea-

      man went hurtling against the bar, and like

      a rubber ball, with his crossed eyes gleam-

      ing at two divergent points in space, he

      bounded back into the annoyed drunkard

      and knocked him to the floor. The drunkard

      got to his feet immediately and floundered

      wildly towards the seaman. There was a

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 184

      flurry of waving arms, and suddenly the

      seaman went down under the impact of an

      elbow in his face and smashed his head

      against the brass rail running along the

      base of the bar. Blood was spewing from the

      drunkard’s nose as he panted, and he now

      jumped down upon the prostrate seaman

      and began to pummel his head with his

      forearms. The two bartenders had by now

      vaulted over the bar, and in doing so, had

      overturned a bottle of beer which went

      crashing to the floor and precipitated a

      scream from a drunken woman at the cor-

      ner of the bar.

      In a moment, after much violent hauling

      and pushing, the bartenders had directed

      the two combatants to the door of the bar

      and hurled them out into the rain. The

      patrons of the bar now assembled at the

      plate glass window, in one excited group,

      and watched the resumption of the battle

      outside. There was much shouting, and

      cries of amazement on the part of the spec-

      tators.

      “Look at that! Look!”

      “He’s going to kill him!” a woman cried

      anxiously, dropping her glass to the floor.

      “He’s beating his head on the pavement!”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 185

      Michael lowered his head and quickly

      gulped his pernod. It burned violently in

      his throat, and he took water. The specta-

      tors were still yelling. Michael buried his

      face in his hands, and suddenly, not to his

      very great surprise, began to shake vio-

      lently and even to sob a little. Then he

      began to feel dizzy and sick; he rose

      waveringly from the table and rushed to

      the lavatory. He was there for what

      seemed an eternity.

      When he got back to his table, quiet

      reigned again in the barroom. They were

      saying that some policemen had come

      along and broken up the fight with their

      billy clubs, and carried the combatants

      away in their police cars. The spectators

      were back at their stations along the bar,

      ordering more drinks. One bartender, with

      a gleam in his eye as he shook the mixer,

      was shouting down the bar to the other bar-

      tender, “Well! That’s it for tonight!”

      Michael ordered another pernod and

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 186

      water and drank it as soon as it came. Now

      he no longer felt like weeping; he felt only

      bitterness, and there was a fuzz before his

      eyes. His hands were still trembling and lit-

      tle drops of sweat were running down into

      his collar.

      After drinking down the third pernod, Leo

      was suddenly standing beside his table, car-

      rying a load of books and looking contented.

      “Michael!” he greeted. “It’s good to see

      you again!” He sat down and placed his

      books on the table. “I’m going to drink a

      glass of beer.”

      “How are you?” Michael inquired

      gloomily.

      “Fine. But you don’t look so well. You’re

      pale, and there’s sweat all over your face.

      Did you know that Paul was back also? I

      thought you were all gone for good; I was

      getting lonesome.”

      Michael smiled wanly.

      “I heard a man was just killed,” Leo went

      on, beckoning to the waiter.

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 187

      “What?”

      “Weren’t you around ten minutes ago?

      You missed it. Two men were fighting in

      here and then out on the sidewalk, and some

      policemen came along to break it up, and

      killed one of the men with their billy clubs.”

      “Are you sure?”

      “That’s what they’re all saying. I saw

      them carry the dead man into the police car

      as I came down the boulevard. Tell me,

      where’s Paul?”

      Michael was running his hand over his

      face in great agitation. Looking up quickly,

      he asked, “Paul?”

      “Yes, where is he?”

      “I don’t know, I don’t know.”

      Leo smiled reassuringly. “You’re in a

      nervous mood, I see. Is it because of the

      repercussions of the Marie affair?”

      “How did you find out? And I don’t care,

      anyway.”

      “They’re saying that Maureen has cast

      you out, and that Anthony almost died of

      grief and neglect and alcohol, and all kinds

      of things.”

      “Well, what of it?”

      “And,” Leo went on garrulously, “you’d

      better ask Paul for your poetry. I was with

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 188

      him today when he stole it, and he threat-

      ened to burn it.”

      “I don’t care,” Michael said. “God,” he

      added, “I don’t care about anything any

      more. This is the end. Pah!”

      Leo laughed loudly. The waiter set the

      glass of beer before him and Leo took a

      quick sip.

      “I’m going to end my life soon,” Michael

      added suddenly.

      Leo laughed more loudly than before.

      “Now, now,” he mocked indulgently. “None

      of that, and besides, people never mean it

      when they come out with it that way! Oh,

      no—remember Ippolit in Dostoyevsky?”

      “Ippolit meant what he said,” Michael

      droned, staring into his empty glass. “It


      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 189

      wasn’t his fault that the gun didn’t go off.

      That part was the biggest tragedy of the

      book, not what came later.”

      Leo laughed again; he was in a happy

      mood, and the rain had brightened up his

      usually dour complexion. “I don’t take you

      seriously, at any rate. There’s a lot to live

      for, and you must know that…”

      Michael didn’t answer. He waved to the

      waiter and ordered another pernod. Then

      he turned to Leo: “And you say that one of

      the men was killed?”

      “Yes.”

      Michael sighed heavily, shakily. “Look at

      my hands,” he said at length, holding them

      out for Leo to see. “See them shake violent-

      ly? I’m on the verge of a nervous break-

      down. I think I’m going crazy. I’ve got to

      put an end to it.”

      Leo laughed again and squeezed

      Michael’s arm. “Don’t be ridiculous. You

      dramatize everything. A little misery is

      good for the poet. You yourself wrote this

      line, I remember it: ‘Pain is the law of the

      artist’s life.’ Ha ha! Aren’t I right?”

      Michael shrugged gloomily.

      “Pain is the substance of your life. That’s

      what Goethe said. Remember that. Bear it

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 190

      out with fortitude.”

      “Fortitude!” sneered Michael. “What a

      dull word! — I’m sick of hearing it. I don’t

      want to be courageous, my emotions are

      against it; I want to be happy.”

      “Well—” began Leo.

      “Shut up!” yelled Michael. The bar-

      tenders had begun to look over to their

      table. “Not so much noise,” one of them

      called, waving his finger.

      Michael glowered at the tabletop.

      Another Pernod came and he threw a large

      bill on the table.

      “You’d better not drink much more per-

      nod,” Leo warned. “You’ll be very drunk in

      a matter of minutes.”

      “Well? That’s pre-

      cisely what I want.

      I’m going to oblit-

      erate myself, like

      Anthony did, but

      I’m going to do it

      first with pernod,

      and then—”

      LiveREADS

      ORPHEUS EMERGED 191

      Michael left off and drank down a whole

      glassful of pernod.

      Leo grimaced good-naturedly. Suddenly

     


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