Dileepan finds a girl, Page 2

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  My biggest fear when Deepu went to the US ten years ago was that he would marry an American.

  Its not that I'm conservative. I realize that kids today are different from my generation. I didn't really object too much when I heard that Deepu drank alcohol, or when he told me he was going on a trip to Las Vegas to gamble. I knew I had raised him well, and that he would not lose his head. But when it comes to marriage, how can one be so logical? After all a girl is the one who will carry on the traditions of a family. And why should we not be proud of our own traditions and culture? Why should I not want to take my grandson to the temple and teach him classical music?

  When Deepu told me last year that he was interested in a girl from America, my heart sank. Sandy, or something, he said. Then he told me that she worked in a bar, and I was horrified!

  How could my son do this? When he told me the news, I had to sit down. I was holding the phone, but I didn't talk for at least half a minute, I think. He was saying something about her having Indian roots but that wasn't important. A proper Indian girl would never be working in a bar, with drunken men and girls dressed in next-to-nothing. And if this was the only job she could find, what did that say about her?

  Deepu told me, 'Amma, don't get so upset. She's a really nice person. And isn't that the most important thing?'. I didn't know how to react. I made some excuses and hung up.

  Thank God for Sharada. If I didn't have her to confide in, I would have been lost. She came over that evening, and listened to me as I cried, and talked to me for four hours. She told me how Narendra from Apartment 12 had married an Australian girl, and about how his parents were now actually happy, because he was happy.

  "Can you believe she works in a bar?" I said incredulously. Sharada asked me to talk to Deepu, and explain to him that maybe, a girl with a more "normal" job might make him happier in the long run.

  I was still angry the next day. I called Deepu, and told him that he was making a mistake, and to consider his life in the long term. I told him how one's work reflected their inner character, and asked him to think about how people might comment if our family had a daughter-in-law who didn't understand or participate in our family functions. At that point, Deepu got really angry and said I was blackmailing him with unnecessary sentimentality and stupid arguments, and asked me to be more logical.

  He said that I was focusing on all the wrong things, and not being open minded.

  We had the same arguments after that, every weekend, over and over, for the next four months. We kept going over the same things, and didn't talk about anything else.

  And somewhere along the way, through those hundreds of conversations, I'm not sure exactly why or how, I think both of us changed a little. Deepu started to sound a little less defiant (was it just my imagination?). He said that he understood why I was upset, and promised he would think more about it. Perhaps I too became gradually more open to the fact that maybe, if everything else about this girl was right, we could work on building a relationship and make her part of the family. And Sharada's continued stories of various successful foreign marriages contributed as well.

  We actually stopped talking about the subject of marriage for some time.

  Then, last month, Rashmi called me, from Deepu's house. 'Hi Aunty! Its been so long since we last spoke!'. Such a warm, genuine voice. It had always been a source of comfort to me that she and Deepu were in the same city.

  She told me that she and Deepu had been talking a lot, and had had long discussions about love and marriage, and that he had confided in her about all of our conversations from over the last few months.

  Then she said that there had been some recent "developments" that Deepu wanted to talk to me about. I didn't know what to expect.?

  "Amma, I'm not going to marry Sandhya", he said.?

  I waited, I knew something else was coming.

  "It just didn't work out"

  I was going to say something, but he interrupted, "But I have to tell you something else".

  I held my breath.?

  "There's this girl at my workplace. In fact, she's a software engineer too. Her name is Wendy... "

  They're coming to Hyderabad together, to meet me next week.?

  I suppose God makes everything happen for a reason. But, what to say. Maybe? the bar girl? now, if you really think about it ?

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  About the author:

  Ilan Varadarajan grew up in India and then went to America. He has many friends from Hyderabad. He also has many friends from America. None of them have married each other.

  Contact the author at: [email protected]

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