Dilemma of a Young Mind, Page 2

I got a tragic message from a friend that one of my classmates, Abhinav Dutta died yesterday due to liver Cirrhosis.

  A few years back, under similar condition another friend Janardan Hazarika committed suicide.

  Another classmate, Mayur Arora also died in a road accident when he was heavily drunk.

  The ex-boyfriend of my cousin, Varun Upadhya also died at an age of forty due to heavy depression.

  What is the common factor which is instrumental for all these deaths? All are drunkard. Why they became drunkard? Because, all of them were depressed. Why all of them were depressed? Because, all were less successful compared to their peers or their own expectations/potentials. Were they from same field? NO. Then?

  Abhinav was a very good singer cum actor. In our college days, he was always surrounded by his fans, both boys and girls. Many girls were after him and naturally, we were envious about him. A few years back I met him at Guwahati while attending a marriage of a common acquaintance. He looked a dejected man with uncontrolled hair and long unmaintained beard. I hardly recognized him. On asking, why he looked so depressed, he narrated his story.

  With so much potential, he thought he could prosper either in musical field or acting field, even if ignore his general studies. In the process he could not do well in his Twelfth Examination and could not get admission into any medical/engineering college; even he could not get admission in Cotton College. He tried to get admission from cultural quota. But he failed to get it because another candidate who was actually less talented but son of an influential person got admission under cultural quota. His father, who happens to be a school teacher could not digest the academic performance of his son, did not send his son to Guwahati and admitted to a local college. In due course of time he got a job in a local bank affiliated to a Nationalised bank. He stopped singing and occasionally did some acting assignment in local drama team. Got married to a lady, whom probably in his hay days, would not allow 10 metres near to him. Frustration took him over and started drinking. Slowly he became a drunkard, even small boys used to recognize him as ‘Sharabi/madahi (drunkard) Dutta uncle. Finally he died with lot of pain in his chest, physically and emotionally, at an age of 39.

  Janardan was not only a very good arm-wrestler but also a very good guitarist, who was in love witha very beautiful singer. Their love affairs ended in tragic note. Janardan tried his best to show a brave face about the incident. With the help of the certificate, representing India in arm-wrestling competition, he got a job in a Nationalized bank as a clerk. I met him many times during my stay at Guwahati and afterwards during my visit to Guwahati from my present posting at Delhi. He always complains about his professional life and deliberately avoided to say anything on his personal life. He did not marry till the age of 35 and finally married to a half educated girl from a remote village of Assam. After ten years of marriage, one day he committed suicide. After his death only many things came to light. He used to take drugs after the break up with the singer. After his marriage, he used to beat up his wife on slightest pretext and always compare with the singer. He had a son, whom he never loved as his own son. He was not good in his office work either. He confides with his close friends that, had he married the singer, he would have done justice to his enormous(?) potential and so on.

  Mayur was a doctor by profession. He became a doctor as his father wished so. He did not have the guts to tell his father that he wanted to be a cricketer. He liked the white pullovers normally worn by test cricketers than the white over coats worn by the surgeons. Naturally, he could not shine as doctor as the other fellow doctors. As suggested by his father, he married to another doctor, who was a daughter of his father’s friend. Though she is a nice lady, she did like his attitude towards his profession. In due course of time, his wife became a successful gynecologist and that frustrated Mayur further. The more his wife became busy, the more his frustration grew. One cold night when Mayur was returning from a party, his car met a fatal accident. Mayur did not die instantly, he was alive till he met his wife to tell that his father had spoiled four lives, one of his own, his wife’s life and the lives of his two children by imposing his will on Mayur all the time. But he did not admit that it is his lack of courage to tell his father his liking and disliking had actually spoiled all these lives. Moreover, once he became a father, he should have changed his track for a better future with renewed zeal.

  Now finally, let me tell the story of Varun. There was a failed love story between my cousin and Varun. My cousin was from a small village and Varun was from a reputed family of Guwahati. Varun’s mother is social a worker and very assertive on family matters. As soon as she came to know about their affairs, he confronted my cousin and warned her of dire consequences if she continued her love affairs with her(mother) son. Separately, she also scolded Varun reminding his family status. Though, my cousin wanted to continue her affairs with Varun, Varun took the advice of his mother and ditched the poor girl. Though he broke her heart, he could not break her spirit. In due course of time, she became a lecturer in a Government college, married to a Government officer, blessed with two children contrary to Varun who has to join as an assistant programmer of All India Radio. Once, when I went for radio interview, I met Varun in the studio who unwillingly said hello to me. I asked my colleague, what was his rank, he sarcastically told, worthless son of a worthy father. He(the officer) told that he(varun)used to tell everybody that he is from a reputed family and even some of his present bosses would not have dared to enter his premises when his father was alive. Once when he boasted this sentence to a young direct recruit, he retorted, ‘Are you actual son of Mr…. or an adopted one from some slums?’ That ensued a heated long argument till a senior officer warned Varun of dire consequences for arguing with a senior and advised him to face the reality and stop living in a fools’ paradise. In his family life also he could not be a happy man as his mother could not find a good match for him from a good family and had to settle for a lady who was not as beautiful as my cousin nor as educated as my cousin. Unfortunately the wife of Varun could not conceive also and Varun’s life became a real mess. Finally he also lost his life at a young age out of cheer depression. Who are responsible for all these untimely deaths? I need not have to give any answer. You can analyze better than I do.

  ( These are not real stories: but situations and circumstances may be real and you may find these characters around you at any time. Unknowingly you may also behave like Mayur’s father or Varun’s mother. Worst ,may be, you are one of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

  Tarun Basu wrote on this (In verbatim)

  Borah, I went through all the stories. Well written. I think all are victims of circumstances. My suggestion is that we should now shed our inhibition about psychological counselling periodically. There will be problems and conflicts in modern life. We should embrace them with courage and conviction. When that does not happen, professional help needs to be taken without inhibition. Life is too beautiful to dissipate like the characters u mentioned. Adverse situations are bound to come in anybody's life. They exist to test our endurance and instinct for survival. And circumventing such patches, we all move forward. Uttisthata jagrata. That is my message to all tormented souls.

  Dipanjali Taludar wrote on this(In verbatim)

  Couldn't stop reading once I started-however a few thoughts came to my mind -ifAbhinav could have been guided/forced to study for cl X11 boards n not allowed to concentrate on singing/acting would his life have been different or would he still have been frustrated for not being able to pursue what he thought he was gud at? Then what if Mayur had been left to follow his dream of becoming a cricketer n he didn't become a successful one would his father have felt that he should have been persuaded to follow a conventional course like evrybody else n would Mayur also have felt the same? Thanks for the lovly stories n these r all real life situations!

  Kokila Goswami wrote on this (In verbatim)

  You are depicting well the stories around us . Yes , th
ese are the true stories happening regularly in our surrounding . Parents , that of like Mayur's , are very common,who want to impose their wishes on their wards . 

  Nice write up . Thanks .

  Chapter 3: First love, second love, marriage and then