Harry the Poisonous Centipede: A Story to Make You Squirm

      Lynne Reid Banks
     Harry the Poisonous Centipede: A Story to Make You Squirm

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    Bertie Plays the Blues

      Alexander McCall Smith
     Bertie Plays the Blues

Domestic bliss seems in short supply at 44 Scotland Street. Over at the Pollocks, dad, Stuart, is harbouring a secret about a secret society and Bertie is feeling kind of blue. Having had enough of his neurotic hot-housing mother, he puts himself up for adoption on eBay. Will he go to the highest bidder or will he have to take matters into his own hands? Will the lovelorn Big Lou find true love on the internet? And will Angus Lordie and Domenica make it up the aisle? Catch up with all your favourite faces down in 44 Scotland Street as we follow their daily pursuit of a little happiness

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    The Scam

      Janet Evanovich
     The Scam

Nicolas Fox is a charming con man and master thief on the run. Kate O’Hare is the FBI agent who is hot on his trail. At least that’s what everyone thinks. In reality, Fox and O’Hare are secretly working together to bring down super-criminals the law can’t touch. Criminals like brutal casino magnate Evan Trace. Evan Trace is running a money-laundering operation through his casino in Macau. Some of his best customers are mobsters, dictators, and global terrorists. Nick and Kate will have to go deep undercover as high-stakes gamblers, wagering millions of dollars—and their lives—in an attempt to topple Trace’s empire. It’s a scam that will take Fox and O’Hare from the Las Vegas strip, to the sun-soaked beaches of Oahu’s North Shore, and into the dark back alleys of Macau. Their only backup—a self-absorbed actor, a Somali pirate, and Kate’s father, and an ex-soldier who believes a rocket launcher is the best way to solve every problem. What could possibly go wrong?

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    My Planet: Finding Humor in the Oddest Places

      Mary Roach
     My Planet: Finding Humor in the Oddest Places

A Hilarious Collection of Essays from one of America's Most Gifted Humorists! Follow New York Times bestselling author Mary Roach -- but be careful not to trip -- as she weaves through personal anecdotes and everyday musings riddled with her uncanny wit and amazingly analytical eye. These essays, which found a well-deserved home within the pages of Reader's Digest as the column "My Planet," detail the inner workings of hypochondriacs, hoarders, and compulsive cheapskates. (Did we mention neurotic interior designers and professional list-makers?) For Roach, humor is hidden in the most unlikely places, which means that nothing is off limits. Whether she is dwelling on her age or talking about the pros and cons of a bedroom night light -- "A married couple can best be defined as a unit of people whose sleep habits are carefully engineered to keep each other awake" -- Roach finds a lesson, a slice of sarcasm, or a dash of something special that makes each day comical and absolutely priceless. In keeping with our mission -- curating the best reads in the land -- Reader's Digest editors neatly packaged these timeless (and hilarious) Roach essays together for the first time. Whether you read this cover-to-cover or during spare moments over morning coffee, flip to a page in this volume and try not to smile.

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    Still Life With Woodpecker Still Life With Woodpecker

      Tom Robbins
     Still Life With Woodpecker Still Life With Woodpecker

Still Life with Woodpecker is a sort of a love story that takes place inside a pack of Camel cigarettes. It reveals the purpose of the moon, explains the difference between criminals andoutlaws, examines the conflict between social activism and romantic individualism, and paints a portrait of contemporary society that includes powerful Arabs, exiled royalty, and pregnant cheerleaders. It also deals withthe problem of redheads. "From the Trade Paperback edition."

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    Villain's Lair

      Wendelin Van Draanen
     Villain's Lair

Dave Sanchez is an average boy with an after-school job and a pet gecko named Sticky. All very normal-until the day Sticky talks. Sticky tells Dave a wild tale of a former life of crime, searching for Aztec gold with a treasure hunter named Damien Black, and of a magical Aztec wristband with shiny gold power ingots that will give the wearer super powers. Dave doesn't believe a word-until Sticky shows him the wristband. But while Sticky managed to escape with the wristband, Damien Black has the power ingots. So the lizard and treasure hunter each have something the other wants . . . very badly. Filled with outrageous adventures, over-the-top characters, snappy-funny dialogue, and a tongue-planted-firmly-in-cheek narration, this new series is sure to be a hit with young superheros everywhere. Wendelin Van Draanen spent many years as a teacher before devoting herself to writing full-time. She lives in Central California. "From the Hardcover edition."

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    A Hanging Job

      W H Oxley
     A Hanging Job

Set in London in 1939 at the start of WW2 when the cut-throat razor was the weapon of choice for settling differences, the tale involves a bungled bank robbery and a car chase as ace getaway driver Foxy tries to avoid a personal introduction to the hangman.Don’t kill a copper cos it’s a hanging job. The tale is set in London on the eve of WW2 at a time when hanging was the penalty for murder and the cut-throat razor, the weapon of choice for settling differences within the criminal fraternity.It’s 1939 and Hitler is about to invade Poland and kick off the Second World War, but Foxy has more important things on his mind: as the getaway driver on bungled bank robbery he is at risk of a formal introduction to the hangman if caught. For Foxy, comedy and tragedy have always gone hand in hand, and this day is no exception as he plays hide and seek with the forces of law and order in the streets of London and the leafy lanes of Hertfordshire, doggedly keeping one step ahead thanks to his driving skills.

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    Sabrina's Surprise Visitor

      Marcia Carrington
     Sabrina's Surprise Visitor

Sabrina has not had it easy lately; her marriage has been falling apart, and she has become consumed by work to forget the pain. Sabrina finds a man in her bed after work one day, and is livid he has taken residence in her bed. Sabrina has a confrontation with this man she never expected to happen, but has to endure. Will Sabrina emerge from this a changed woman, or be more confused than ever?Beleaguered Sabrina has not had it easy lately; her marriage has been falling apart, and she has become consumed by work to forget the pain. Sabrina finds a surprise visitor in her bed when she comes home from work one day, and is absolutely livid that he has taken residence in her bed. Over the course of an evening, Sabrina has a confrontation with this man she never expected to happen, but is forced to endure. Will Sabrina emerge from this experience a changed woman, or be even more confused by her marriage, and life, than she already is?

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    Heaven Cent

      Piers Anthony
     Heaven Cent

In the mind of Xanth's precious shapeshifting Prince Dolph, the perfect way to see the world is to search for the missing sorcerer, Humfrey. Setting off with his faithful companion, Marrow, an enchanted skeleton, Dolph will penetrate an island of illusion, escape a goblin kingdom, outwit a husband-hungry mermaid, save Marrow from bone-starved harpies, and find romance with a slinky snake princess--all on his way to discovering a magic coin with all the answers!

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    My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

      Chelsea Handler
     My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

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    Seriously... I'm Kidding

      Ellen DeGeneres
     Seriously... I'm Kidding

"Sometimes the greatest things are the most embarrassing." Ellen Degeneres' winning, upbeat candor has made her show one of the most popular, resilient and honored daytime shows on the air. (To date, it has won no fewer than 31 Emmys.) Seriously... I'm Kidding, Degeneres' first book in eight years, brings us up to date about the life of a kindhearted woman who bowed out of American Idol because she didn't want to be mean. Lively; hilarious; often sweetly poignant.

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    Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

      Mindy Kaling
     Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?” Perhaps you want to know what Mindy thinks makes a great best friend (someone who will fill your prescription in the middle of the night), or what makes a great guy (one who is aware of all elderly people in any room at any time and acts accordingly), or what is the perfect amount of fame (so famous you can never get convicted of murder in a court of law), or how to maintain a trim figure (you will not find that information in these pages). If so, you’ve come to the right book, mostly! In Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Mindy invites readers on a tour of her life and her unscientific observations on romance, friendship, and Hollywood, with several conveniently placed stopping points for you to run errands and make phone calls. Mindy Kaling really is just a Girl Next Door—not so much literally anywhere in the continental United States, but definitely if you live in India or Sri Lanka. From the Hardcover edition.

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    Travels With My Aunt

      Graham Greene
     Travels With My Aunt

Henry Pulling, a retired bank manager, meets his septuagenarian Aunt Augusta for the first time in over fifty years at what he supposes to be his mother's funeral. Soon after, she persuades Henry to abandon Southwood, his dahlias and the Major next door to travel her way, Brighton, Paris, Istanbul, Paraguay. Through Aunt Augusta, a veteran of Europe's hotel bedrooms, Henry joins a shiftless, twilight society: mixing with hippies, war criminals, CIA men; smoking pot, breaking all the currency regulations and eventually coming alive after a dull suburban life. In Travels with my Aunt Graham Greene not only gives us intoxicating entertainment but also confronts us with some of the most perplexing of human dilemmas.

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